Room Jokes

174 room jokes and hilarious room puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about room that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.

Discover laughter in some of the most unlikely places with our collection of jokes about a range of rooms from the operating room to the escape room. Get ready to giggle and chuckle as you explore these parlor, dorm, and waiting room jokes that even the toughest of crowds can't help but to find amusing.

Quick Jump To

Funniest Room Short Jokes

Short room jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The room humour may include short suite jokes also.

  1. A man in an interrogation room says I'm not saying a word without my lawyer present. Cop: You are the lawyer.
    Lawyer: Exactly, so where's my present?
  2. I stabbed a vampire, beat zombies to death and killed devil itself... my wife rushes through the room and shouts, "YOU'RE SUPPOSED TO GIVE THEM CANDIES, FRANK"
  3. How many trans women does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Just one, and you don't even need the lightbulb. Just tell her she's a lovely girl, and she'll brighten up the room instantly.
  4. I like to stand in the corner of my psychiatrist's waiting room and blow on anyone who walks by... Most people hate it, but I'm a fan...
  5. I bought my friend an elephant for their room. They said thank you. I said don't mention it.
  6. How many Irishmen does it take to change a lightbulb? Two.
    One to hold the bulb, and one to drink until the room starts spinning.
  7. How do you make a room full of epileptics go nut? Ask someone with parkingsons disease to turn off the lights
  8. My son asked me, Dad, can I eat the last piece of cake in the fridge? I smiled and said, Sure..." "But the dining room would probably be more comfortable.
  9. It was 11 years ago today that my pal Joey came running out of that room shouting it's a boy it's a boy with tears streaming down his face. We never went back to Thailand.
  10. "It's a boy", David shouted, "It's a BOY!" With tears rolling down his eyes, David came running out of the room. And never visited Bangkok again.

Share These Room Jokes With Friends

Room One Liners

Which room one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with room? I can suggest the ones about hotel and paces.

  1. Pun enters a room, kills 10 people Pun in, 10 dead
  2. I put a black hole in my living room. It's great. Really pulls the room together.
  3. Two introverts walk into a room... One leaves
  4. Got a new roommate. She cleans my room, I clean hers. We are maid for each other.
  5. From my 7-year-old: What room are zombie not allowed in? The living room.
  6. If there is an elephant in the room and nobody notices is it irrelephant?
  7. Do you suffer from anxiety that an intruder may be hiding in your room? You're not alone.
  8. My five year old's joke: What do you call a sausage in a room with a hungry wolf? A wolf.
  9. What do skinny jeans and cheap hotels have in common? No *ball*room
  10. What room doesn't have ghosts? Living room.
  11. A pun walks into a room and kills ten people Pun in, ten dead
  12. What's Obama say to Biden when he leaves the room after a argument? Good bi-den
  13. Box of condoms = $6.99 Cashier's face when you ask where the fitting room is = Priceless
  14. Chuck Norris had a nightmare The nightmare ran into its moms room crying
  15. I hate One Direction fans... Oscillating ones cool down a room much better.

Walks Into A Room Jokes

Here is a list of funny walks into a room jokes and even better walks into a room puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • My daughters boyfriend still doesn't know how to tie his shoes... Every time I walk in her room that's all she's doing.
  • A photon walks into a hotel and orders a room. The bellhop asks, Can I carry your baggage to your room for you? The photon says, "No, I'm traveling light."
  • I'm so proud of my son I asked him what the sound of one hand clapping is. He said "dunno" and walked off to his room, but I can hear him trying to figure it out.
  • So, Schrödinger walks into a vet with his cat. The nurse takes the cat, goes into the room, and comes out 10 minutes later. "Sir, we have good news and bad news."
  • A man is staying in a hotel. He walks up to the front desk and says, Sorry ma'am, I forgot what room I'm in, can you help me?
    The receptionist replies, No problem, sir. This is the lobby.
  • I walked into my sister's room and tripped on a bra. It was a booby-trap.
  • A patient walks into a therapist's room Patient: I'm scared of single letters.
    Therapist: Oh? Why?
    Patient: *screams*
    Therapist: Oh. Oh, I see.
    Patient: *screaming intensifies*
  • I asked my new girlfriend when her birthday was.. She said March 1st, So i walked round the room and asked her again...
  • Username walks into a hotel... And asks for a room. A few days later he leaves.
    I guess you could say,
    Username checks out.
  • I walked into my wife's room and told a joke. It was so good, even the closet laughed.

Living Room Jokes

Here is a list of funny living room jokes and even better living room puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • My ex is like the Mona Lisa It's not that she is pretty or anything, but I would be ecstatic if I came home to find her hanging in the living room
  • I just murdered a tree and put its decorated corpse on display in my living room. For Jesus.
  • I bought a christmas tree today. The guy asked me if I was going to put it up myself. I said, "No, I'll probably put it in the living room"
  • What's that one room zombies can never enter? the LIVING room
  • I'm in a room with Trump, Hillary and a gun and I'm allowed to legally shoot one of them. Whoever lives becomes president. Who do I shoot? Myself.
  • What room can't a skeleton enter? The living room.
  • There's a father and a son sitting in their living room. The son asked, "What's it like to have the greatest son in the world?"
    The father replied, "I don't know, you'll have to ask your grandpa"
  • When I told my mother I wanted to put the Christmas tree up myself... she suggested that I should put it up in the living room instead.
  • I went to buy a Christmas tree. The guy said, "Are you gonna put it up yourself?"
    I said, "No, I was thinking the living room."
  • What's the only room in a house that doesn't have ghosts? The living room
Room joke, What's the only room in a house that doesn't have ghosts?

Waiting Room Jokes

Here is a list of funny waiting room jokes and even better waiting room puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • I went on a job interview for a security guard. After spending 12 hours in the waiting room... ...they hired me.
  • I've just discovered the quickest way to call a family meeting. I turned off the WiFi router and simply waited in the room where it's located.
  • Whenever I'm at the therapist's waiting room, I stand in one corner and blow air at people. Everyone hates it, but I'm a fan.
  • A nurse comes in and tells a doc... ..."there's a man in the waiting room that thinks he's invisible. What should I tell him?"
    Doc says, "Tell him I can't see him today."
  • Nurse pops her head into the doctor's office..... Nurse: 'Doctor, there's an invisible man in the waiting room.'
    Doctor: 'Tell him I can't see him.'
  • What did the Doctor say to the midget in the waiting room? "You're going to have to be a little patient"
  • An invisible man was in the waiting room. "Your patient is here, doctor," the nurse said.
    The doctor replied, "Tell him I can't see him right now."
  • My girlfriend wanted to do doctor roleplaying. I sat in the waiting room for about an hour while she saw two other patients who came in after me.
  • What's the difference between young girls and photographs? After putting them in a dark room, you have to wait for the photograph to fully develop.
  • What they tell you in the colonoscopy waiting room km13e4yv9ReZNQSVKwx5G9xrGfpM1O

Hotel Room Jokes

Here is a list of funny hotel room jokes and even better hotel room puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • What did the Russian billionaire say when checking in at a hotel? I'd like a room on the first floor, please.
  • I returned to my hotel after an evening of drinking, so I went to the front desk. Excuse me, I don't remember what room I'm in. I said. No problem, said the receptionist. You're in the lobby.
  • Sad news for music lovers today.... Justin Bieber was found in his hotel room, alive.
  • Why did the Russian oligarch sign up for the draft? Because going to the front line was safer than trying to open his hotel room window.
  • What did the regular hotel room say to the fancy hotel room Oh suite!
    This was made up by my 11 year old son, I thought it was fist bump worthy.
  • Frenchman in a hotel. A french man calls the room service and asks for some "pepper".
    "Well ... would you like some white pepper or black pepper?" asks the receptionist.
    "Toilet pepper."
  • What did JFK say before going to visit Marilyn Monroe? I choose to go to Marilyn's hotel room this night and do the naughty things, not because she is easy, but because I am hard.
  • Tight pants are like a cheap hotel... No ball room
  • I'm starting to have second thoughts about the hotel room I booked at the Indian Casino this weekend. simply put, I'm having reservations about my reservation on the reservation.
  • I slept with 4 girls last night... And the floor of the hotel room killed my back.

Operating Room Jokes

Here is a list of funny operating room jokes and even better operating room puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • "We're losing him!" shouted the physician assistant halfway through the surgery "Not on my watch!" shouted the surgeon.
    And he runs out of the operating room.
  • What did one doctor say to to other who was taking too long in the operating room? "Would you hurry it up, I am losing my patients!"
  • Elevator operator seems like a decent career field Heard there's a lot of room to move up
  • Operating rooms should be called gash stations.
  • As I got into the operating room, my surgeon said it was a big day for the both of us... He said, "Congratulations! This is my first surgery and your last!"
  • I was working hard in the operating room during a heart transplant when the nurse asks me "What are you doing?" I just keep chanting "Kali Ma! Kali Ma!"
  • A new doctor came out of the operating room... ... Knelt down, raised his arms, looked heaven wards and said loudly:
    "O Mother Goddess! please accept my first sacrificial offering"
  • Why was the patient happy? He left the operating room in stitches.
  • Chuck Norris' sweat is used to disinfect operating rooms.
Room joke

Playful Room Jokes to Add Joy and Laughter to Your Group

What funny jokes about room you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean floor jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make room pranks.

A man was arrested and taken to an interrogation room

He says to the police officer, "I'm not saying a word without my lawyer present."
"You are the lawyer," says the policeman.
"Exactly, so where's my present?"

Son, I found a c**... in your room.

Gee thanks, Grandpa!
Why are you calling me Grandpa?
Because I couldn't find it yesterday.

If Al Gore tried his hand as a musician, his album would be called...

Girlfriend thought of this while doing dishes earlier.... I could hear her laughing to herself in the other room for almost 10 minutes.

Double Positives.

A linguistics professor was lecturing his class one day.
'In English', he said, 'A double negative forms a positive. In some languages, though, such as Russian, a double negative is still a negative. However, there is no language wherein a double positive can form a negative.'
A loud voice from the back of the room piped up, 'Yeah, right.'

The Jewish way

As a Jew I have a soft spot for jokes about my own people, and this is one of my favorites that isn't so well known.
A Jewish man walks into a w**.... The madame asks him what he'd like. He asks if any of the women there can have s**... "the Jewish way". Puzzled, she goes to each of the unoccupied rooms, and asks the woman inside if she's familiar with having s**... the Jewish way. Finally, they get to the last room. Inside is a p**... who's extremely talented, and is one of the most expensive in the area. She asks, "do you know how to have s**... the Jewish way? This man's looking for a woman who does". She responds, "no, I haven't. But to stay at the top of my profession, I'm always looking to improve. If you teach me how to have s**... the Jewish way, we'll do that free of charge".
The man accepts the offer, and they have s**.... She's surprised to find that it's just regular s**...! Afterwards, she asks "What were you talking about, 'the Jewish way'? You just had s**... with me, the most expensive h**... in town, for free?!" He smiles and replies, "that's the Jewish way!".


A six-year-old goes to the hospital with her mother to visit her Grandpa.  When they get to the hospital, she runs ahead of her mother and bursts into her Grandpa's room.  "Grandpa, Grandpa," she says excitedly, "as soon as my mother comes into the room, make a noise like a frog!"
"What?" said her Grandpa.
"Make a noise like a frog because my mom said that as soon as you croak, we're all going to Disney World!

My dog, Grandpa

The other day, my professor asked me what I'd name my dog if I got one.
I said, well I'd name him Grandpa.
That way, when people asked how my day was, I can say things like:
Oh man, I forgot to feed Grandpa today.
I feel bad for leaving Grandpa outside last night.
Grandpa pooped in the living room again.
I had to put grandpa down today.
Grandpa ran away again.
I caught Grandpa h**... my friend's leg again.
And people who don't know me, won't know what I'm talking about.

The guy was in the store buying a fake Christmas tree.

The shop attendant asked him, "Are you going to put that tree up yourself?"
The guy replied, "Don't be disgusting! I'm going to put it in the living room!"

Little Johnny walks in on his parents having s**........

his father sees him, but instead of saying anything, he gives Johnny a huge grin and thumbs up, then starts to really give it to the old lady. The next night, the father gets up to go to the restroom, and he hears noises coming from Johnny's room. He looks in the door, and Johnny is on top of his grandmother, really giving it to her. Johnny looks at his father, gives him a grin and says, "not so funny when it's your Mom, is it?"

Robin Williams' Favorite Joke

Guy's having s**... with his wife. All of a sudden he looks over, and there in the doorway is his son, about eight years old. Kid looks horrified, and the kid runs away. The guy says to his wife, ''Well, I'd better talk to Timmy.''
He puts on his clothes and goes to Timmy's room. He opens the door , and there's Timmy nailing Grandma. The father goes ''Oh, my God!'' And the kid goes, ''Not so funny when it's your mom, is it?"

Little Billy comes home early from school, only to find his Dad m**... in the living room...

As Billy is quite young, he is shocked and confused at what he is seeing. His Dad tries to explain:
"Don't be scared, Billy. I'm not hurting myself, I'm doing something completely normal. In fact, you are going to start doing it pretty soon as well."
"Why is that, Dad?", young Billy asks.
"Because, son, my hand is getting tired and I need someone to take over."

Late one night at the insane asylum one patient shouted, "I am Napoleon!"

A person in another room said, "How do you know?" The first patient said, "God told me!" Just then, a voice from another room shouted,
"I did not!"

My boss, who is a fit woman, caught me in the shower room after work.

She said to me "Would you mind taking my blouse off?"
I replied, "Certainly," and took it off.
Then she turned around and said, "Would you take my skirt off too?" So I removed that as well.
Then she finally asked me to take her underwear off, so I did that too.
Then she looked at me and said, "If I ever catch you wearing my clothes again, you're fired"

Burglars are getting very clever these days..

Last night, my wife woke me up..
*Darling! Darling! There's a burglar downstairs!!*
So I go down, check every room and don't find anyone.
Then I realised I don't have a wife and when I went back upstairs my bed and tv were gone.

An insolent teenager stomps off to her room...

Teenager: "And another thing - JIM MORRISON s**...!"
Dad: "Hey! There'll be no slamming of the Doors in this house!"

How do you make the best Harlem Shake video?

You throw a flashbang into a room of epileptic children.

t**...? No thanks

If I wanted to disappoint two people in the same room, I would have dinner with my parents.

How many tumblrinas does it take to change a lightbulb?

You may think that a burnt out bulb needs to change just because the room is too dark *for you* to see anything, so it *must* be changed, but I don't care, it's beautiful, you should respect its right to be burnt out and learn to be more accepting of darker rooms, check your filament privileges you ableist s**.... Anyone who disagrees with this is a burnt-out-bulbophobe and a darknessphobe. Thanks for being so understanding.

I walked into a room full of men m**...

They all looked shocked when I didn't stop

A woman is in the hospital in a coma...

and the husband is in the waiting room. The doctor comes out and tells the husband every time he gets near her c**..., her heart rate increases, and tells the husband he believes o**... s**... will bring her out of the coma.
The husband enters the room. Shortly after, the doctor hears a flatline and rushes into the room, asking what happened. The husband replies, "I dont know, Doc. I think she choked."

Prostate Exam

After my recent Prostate Exam - one of the most thorough examinations I've ever had –
the Doctor left the room and the nurse came in.
After she shut the door, she asked me a question I didn't want to hear....
She said...."Who was that guy?"

A black guy and a white girl are at a party

A black guy and a white girl are at a party. After a while they go together to a room, and she asks excited: "Show me if what they say about black men is true". He grabs her purse and runs

Mom finds a large number of b**... magazines beneath her sons bed.

Calls her husband up to the room to show him and discuss.
"What do you think we should do?" she asks.
Father frowns and responds "Well I guess spanking him is out of the question"

A linguistics professor is lecturing his class

A linguistics professor was lecturing his class the other day. "In English," he said, "a double negative forms a positive. However, in some languages, such as Russian, a double negative remains a negative. But there isn't a single language, not one, in which a double positive can express a negative."
A voice from the back of the room retorted, "Yeah, right."

I went to the Atlanta Falcons locker room to get some change for a dollar...

But they only gave me 3 quarters.

A Scotsman, an Englishman and an Indian man were waiting outside the delivery room.

The matron comes out and explains that the hospital has accidentally mixed up the babies.
The Scot goes straight in and picks up the brown baby.
The Indian says "Are you sure that's your baby?"
The Scot says "No, but there's no way I'm going to risk leaving here with an English baby."


Three old Catholic men and one old Catholic woman were sitting a a table one morning. The first old man said, "My son is a priest, when he walks into a room people say Father." The second old man said, "My son is a Bishop, when he walks into a room people say Your Eminence." Third old man says, my son is the Pope, when he walks into a room people say Your Holiness." The old woman says,"My daughter has a 42 inch chest and a 24 inch waist, when she walks into a room people say 'JESUS'."

How many cops does it take to change a lightbulb?

Two. One to beat the room for being black and one to arrest the bulb for being broke.

"Look at this!" I said to my roommate

"What happened?" he replied
"Look, the second, fourth, sixth and eighth plants are growing very healthily, but the other four are getting dry, even though I treated them the same!" I said
"Huh, weird!" he responded "water the odds!"

My roommates get mad when I steal their kitchen utensils.

But it's a whisk I'm willing to take.

I gave my friend an elephant for his room.

He told me "thank you."
I said "don't mention it."

A little boy was looking through the keyhole of his sister's room

Mom says with a smile, "why are you concerned with what your sister is doing in there?"
Boy replies, "I am not concerned with her, I am wondering what dad is doing."

A lady calls her butler into her room and says, "Jeeves, take off my dress"

He casually says, "Yes, Madam", and removes the dress. Then she says, "Jeeves, take off my underwear". Again, he says, "Yes, Madam" and removes the undergarment. She then says, "Jeeves, take off my bra". Again, with no hesitation he says, "Yes, Madam" and removes the bra. Then she says, "Now out of my sight! If I ever catch you wearing my clothes again, you're fired!"

What did microsoft say to the attractive girl in the room?

Can I c**... at your place tonight?

A shy cowboy goes into a bar

*this is an old one but I'll give it a try* he sees a nice looking c**... sitting on a bar stool. He doesn't know how to approach her so he just takes a seat somewhere else. After a while he gets an idea. He gets up, pulls out his gun, and shoots and kills everyone in the room, but her. He goes to her and says: "Now what is a nice-looking lady like yourself doing here all alone?"

I did an essay on The Room.

For school, I had to write an essay based on a film, so I decided to do it on "The Room". I think I did well, because I got a hi mark.

Jack calls an ambulance for his friend who has been hit by a car

The operator asks for his location.
Jack says I'm outside 28 Eucalyptus Road .
The operator knows there is no room for error and for clarity asks, "How do you spell that?"
There's shuffling and sounds of straining at the other end of the phone. Jack? says the operator, concerned. More shuffling and grunting.
Sorry about that says Jack. I just dragged him 'round to 1 Oak Street

A woman gets home from work and hears her husband call out from the bedroom...

Husband: can you come here and help me with this clock?
The woman walks in the room and sees her husband sitting at the edge of their bed with a r**... hard-on
Wife: thats not a clock
Husband: it will be when you put two hands and a face on it.

My wife found out I was cheating on her after she found all the letters I was hiding. She kicked over the table, stormed out of the room and shouted that she's never...

...playing Scrabble with me again.

I bought myself a new deodorant stick this morning.

The instructions say " remove cap and push up bottom ".
I can't walk very well at the moment, but every time I f**..., the room smells incredible.

An expecting father paces nervously up and down the waiting room.

"First child?" Asks another father
"No" replies the first.
"Well then why are you so anxious?"
"When my wife read 'A tale of two cities', she had twins. When she read 'The three musketeers' she had triplets."
"That's amazing." says the second Man
"Yes" replies the first "but she just finished reading 'Birth of a Nation'.

I was in bed with this r**... girl when her father, her brother and her boyfriend busted in the room...

....and boy was he mad.

I purchased a deodorant stick today

Instructions say, Remove cap and push up bottom
I can hardly walk but the room smells lovely when I f**....

I had s**... for 3 hours last night...

We roleplayed as doctor and patient, and I was in the waiting room for 2 hours and 58 minutes.

A college teacher reminds her class of the next day's final exam.

Now class, I won't tolerate any excuses for you not being here tomorrow. I might consider a nuclear attack or a serious personal injury, illness, or a death in your immediate family, but that's it, no other excuses whatsoever!
A smart-a**... guy in the back of the room raised his hand and asked, What would you say if tomorrow I said I was suffering from complete and utter s**... exhaustion?
The entire class is reduced to laughter and snickering. When silence is restored, the teacher smiles knowingly at the student, shakes her head sweetly.
Well, I guess you'd have to write the exam with your other hand.

A pregnant woman walks into a bank being robbed,

She tried to call the cops and got shot in the stomach three times. Luckily, all her children were safe.
15 years later, one of her daughters came up to her and said, "Mom, I was peeing and a bullet came out." So, she told her daughter the story.
Then, her other daughter walked into the room and she said, "Mom, I was peeing and a bullet came out." So, she told her daughter the story.
Finally, her son came in and she assumed she knew what he was going to say, "Let me guess, you were peeing and a bullet came out?"
The son replied, "No, what? I was m**... and I shot the dog."

After my proctology exam I was left alone in the exam room for a few minutes. Then the nurse came in and whispered three words no man ever wants to hear.

"Who was that?"

n**... painting

The head nun tells the two new nuns that they have to paint their room without getting any paint on their clothes.
So the one nun says to the other, "Hey, let's take all our clothes off, fold them up, and lock the door."
So they do this, and begin painting their room. Soon they hear a knock at the door. They ask, "Who is it?"
"Blind man!"
The nuns look at each other, then one nun says, "He's blind, he can't see. What could it hurt."
They let him in.
The blind man walks in and says, "Hey, nice t**.... Where do you want me to hang the blinds?"

I was having s**... with my girlfriend, Diana, when my roommate, Jones, entered the room

Im indiana Jones, Get out

m**... is like buying IKEA furniture.

At first, it sounds like a great idea.
But then you're on your knees in the living room, with a mess on the carpet, wishing you'd have just paid someone.

A teacher told the students, "The person who answers my next question correctly gets to leave class early."

A teacher told the students, "The person who answers my next question correctly gets to leave class early."
Suddenly, a pen came flying across to room, practically hitting the teacher in the face.
"Who threw that?!" the teacher shouted angrily.
"Me!" piped up a voice from the back of the classroom. "Can I leave now?"

To reduce waste, our city has told food truck operators that they must donate all unsold items each night.

I applaud the effort, but given how little space the trucks have in the first place, it seems like there's really not much room for waste to begin with. So, I've gotta ask....
How much food would a food truck chuck if a food truck could chuck food?

I bought my friend an elephant for his room.

He said, "Thanks".
I said, "Don't mention it."

A kid is playing video games in his room, minding his own business.

His mother walks in. "Honey, come meet my new boyfriend!"
"I'm kind of busy right now. Can you bring him in here instead?"
A minute or so later, her boyfriend walks in. "Hey, champ! How you doing?"
The kid ignores him.
"Don't like champ, huh? That's fine. How about BlueDragon72?"
The kid turns his head quickly. "I haven't heard that name since I was ten..." He then realized. "It can't be.."
"Call of Duty, right? I told you I'd bang your mom."

My step-sister walked into my room one day and she says, "Hey, big brother... take off my shirt."

So I took off her shirt.
Then she says, "Take off my skirt..."
So I took off her skirt.
Then she says, "Take off my bra and p**......"
So I took off her bra and p**....
Then she says, "If I ever catch you wearing my clothes again, I'm telling mom and dad!"

Four catholic ladies are talking about how important there sons are. (Long)

The first one tells her friends my son is a priest. When he walks into a room, everyone calls him 'Father.'
The second Catholic woman chirps, while my son is a bishop, when he walks into a room, people say, 'Your Grace.'
The third Catholic woman says smugly, Well, not to put you down, but my son is a cardinal. Whenever he walks into a room, people say, 'Your Eminence.'
The fourth Catholic woman sips her coffee in silence. The first three women give her a subtle well.....?
She replies, My son is a charismatic, 6'2 , hard-bodied male stripper. Whenever he walks into a room, people say, My God.

My roommate is into auto-e**... asphyxiation, but he's also suicidal.

I can never tell if he's coming or going.

A mathematician And an engineer decided to take part in an experiment.

They were both put in a room and at the other end was a n**... woman on a bed. The experimenter said that every 30 seconds they could travel half the distance between themselves and the woman. The mathematician stormed off, calling it pointless. The engineer was still in. The mathematician said Don't you see? You'll never get close enough to actually reach her. The engineer replied, So? I'll be close enough for all practical purposes.

Dog walks into a telegraph office...

Says he wants to send a message.
"Sure" says the clerk, "what's the message?"
"Woof woof woof woof woof woof woof woof woof woof."
Clerk says, "OK, but for the same price, there's enough room for one more 'woof'".
Dog wrinkles his brow and replies, "But that wouldn't make any sense.."

A teacher told his students, "The person who answers my next question correctly gets to leave class early."

Suddenly, a pen came flying across to room, practically hitting the teacher in the face.
"Who threw that?!" the teacher shouted, angrily.
"Me!" piped up a voice from the back of the classroom. "Can I leave now?"

Bill Cosby enters in a bar ...

... i don't know what happens next because I suddenly woke up in a motel's room.

At a corporate party…

The director of HR stood up and said If anyone has any comments or anything they'd like to say please come up to the microphone
An employee stood up and walked over. He picked up the microphone and pointed it directly at the speakers. A loud obnoxious noise screeched out and filled the room. Everyone covered their ears as he held it there. He then turned it away and handed it back to the HR director. To which the HR director said…
Thank you for your feedback.

A proud father has six children.

He always calls his wife "Mother of Six," to her displeasure.
One night at a party, he yells across the room, "Mother of six, we're leaving now."
She replies, "Be right with you, father of four."

A husband comes home to find his wife with her suitcases packed in the living room.

Where the h**... do you think you're going? he says.
I'm going to Las Vegas. You can earn $400 for a b**... there, and I figured that I might as well earn money for what I do to you free.
The husband thinks for a moment, goes upstairs, and comes back down, with his suitcase packed as well.
Where do you think you going? the wife asks.
I'm coming with you…I want to see how you survive on $800 a year!!!

Room joke, A husband comes home to find his wife with her suitcases packed in the living room.

jokes about room