Roofing Jokes
42 roofing jokes and hilarious roofing puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about roofing that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
Funniest Roofing Short Jokes
Short roofing jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The roofing humour may include short roofer jokes also.
- I've started a business selling prayer mats which are also trampolines... Prophets are going through the roof.
- I was disappointed to have to pay for my new roof they promised me it would be on the house
- I opened a company selling land mines that look like prayer mats. Prophets are going through the roof.
- Two antennae get married on a roof The ceremony wasn't much, but the reception was *amazing*!
- Two antenna met on a roof... fell in love and got married. The wedding wasn't much but the reception was *excellent*.
- My landlord yelled at me today because my heating bill is through the roof and that he's going to have to come over soon to discuss a solution. I told him my door is always open.
- What did a physics teacher say to calm down a student who wanted to jump off the roof? Don't do that, you have so much potential!
- A physicist is walking along a road when she looks up at a tall building... She sees a man on the roof getting ready to jump and shouts out to him, "Don't do it, you have so much potential!"
- Help! I'm stuck on Rick Astley's roof He took away the ladder and said he is never gonna let me down.
- Some nights I just lie down and stare up at the stars and I wonder what happened to my roof
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Roofing One Liners
Which roofing one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with roofing? I can suggest the ones about house roof and roof shingle.
- A storm blew away 25% of my roof last night. Oof
- What's the cheapest part of a house? The roof tiles, because they're on the house.
- You think gas prices are expensive, have you seen chimney? They're through the roof.
- My physics teacher told me I had potential. Then he threw me off the roof.
- I started a boat business in the attic. The sails are going through the roof
- How does Santa know if he lands on a Jewish house? There's a parking meter on the roof.
- How did the guy in roblox die? He fell through the r-OOF
- I've just fallen through the roof of a French bakery... Now I'm in a world of pain.
- How do you get a blonde on a roof? Tell her drinks are on the house.
- How many babies does it take to shingle a roof? It depends on how thinly you slice them.
- Why do blondes prefer to buy cars with sun roof? Because there's more leg room.
- Hurricane Ophelia just blew the roof off my cheese factory. There's de Brie everywhere
- I once tried a bungee jumping cord to the roof of the school. I got suspended
- I sat back looking at the stars and began to think.. Where the HECK is my roof?!
- Two cats are stuck on a roof. Which one falls off first? One with the smaller mew.
Roofing Nails Jokes
Here is a list of funny roofing nails jokes and even better roofing nails puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- What does a wife and a tin roof have in common? You better nail both of 'em good or they'll end up at the neighbor's house.
- What's the similarity between your wife and a tin roof in a hurricane? If you didn't nail them properly they'll go see your neighbor
- How do you start a rave in Ethiopia? Nail a sandwich to the roof.
- A woman is like the roof of a shed. If you don't nail them hard enough, they'll go next door.
- politically awesome A white construction worker fell off a high roof into sure death but with his white privilege luckily he got stuck with his eye on a nail.
- Women's g**... are a lot like a shed roof If you don't nail it hard enough it will end up next door
- s**... at the construction site I saw a guy on roof nailing some hot shingles.
Giggle-Inducing Roofing Jokes for Joyful Times with Friends
What funny jokes about roofing you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean falling off roof jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make roofing pranks.
My roofing business is having a great promotion right now...
If you buy one roof, the next one is on the house.
A dog is helping construct my house
He specializes in roofing
I didn't trust my wife home alone with the roofers...
So I hired an all gay roofing crew. I don't know if it worked worked, she said they've been outside b**... all day.
A joke my grandpa just shared: so I asked the guy who roofed my house, Hows the roofing business?
Guy replied, we're on top of it
TIL: Roofing in the Summer heat can be dangerous
WARNING: HOT SHINGLES IN YOUR AREA
Did you hear Beyonce now owns an all female roofing company?
It's called "All The Shingle Ladies".
p**... is doing some roofing work for Murphy. He nears the top of the ladder and starts shaking and getting dizzy.
He calls down to Murphy and says "I tink I will ave to go home, I've come all over giddy and feel sick". Murphy asks "Ave yer got vertigo?" p**... replies "No I only live round the corner".
if a dog was a contractor, what would his specialty be?
roofing
Why was the dog wearing a construction hat?
His speciality is roofing.
What job is best suited for a dog?
Roofing.
Last month I unknowingly purchased stolen roofing supplies. I wrote a Craigslist post to alert others...
HOT SHINGLES IN YOUR AREA
I got a pop up ad for a locally owned Sean Connery roofing supply company
It said, shingles in your area .
A dyslexic construction worker couldn't decide what to upgrade.
Between roofing equipment and flooring supplies, he chose the ladder.
What kind of home repairs are dogs good at?
Roofing.
I think my dog wants to be a carpenter.
He likes roofing.
I wish I could better understand roofing
But it just goes over my head
What did the roofing professional say to the homeowner after the job was done?
It's on the house
Started a charity roofing company.
The name? It's on the House.
I took a roofing class
So I took a roofing class in college, all of the content went right over my head.
They say 1 in 3 adults will get shingles in their lifetime
But not me.
I'm a plumber, I don't do roofing.