Ronald Reagan Jokes
25 ronald reagan jokes and hilarious ronald reagan puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about ronald reagan that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
Funniest Ronald Reagan Short Jokes
Short ronald reagan jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The ronald reagan humour may include short president reagan jokes also.
- Chernobyl Have you ever seen Ronald Reagan's response to the Chernobyl incident?
He thought the Russians were just "overreacting." - If Ronald Reagan were alive today he would roll in his grave... roll, scream, kick and so would you if you woke up in a casket.
- Why was John F. Kennedy secretly a more successful actor than Ronald Reagan? He always knew how to take the perfect headshot.
- In 1987 we had Ronald Reagan, Johnny Cash, and Bob Hope... Now we have Obama, no cash, and no hope.
- What would Ronald Reagan be doing if he were alive today? He'd be scratching at the lid of his coffin yelling, "Let me out! I'm alive! Let me out!!"
- Elmo, Bill Cosby, and Ronald Reagan are told to save the world. Their solution: Tickle Down Economics
- What did Ronald Reagan say when he found out he had cancer and Alzheimers? Well...at least I don't have cancer!
- What did the ghost of Ronald Reagan tell Donald Trump after he assumed the presidency? Hair down this wall.
- When my mom shares the story about shaking hands with Ronald Reagan ... #n**... I inform everyone that.
1) it was when he was an actor
2) that wasn't his hand
3) she didn't get the part
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Ronald Reagan One Liners
Which ronald reagan one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with ronald reagan? I can suggest the ones about ronald mcdonald and president bush.
- What does Ronald Reagan have that Jimmy Carter doesn't? A widow.
- Ronald Reagan should be the head of Mexico. He wants to tear down this wall.
- What did Jimmy Carter say to Ronald Reagan? Let me Eat your Turds !! Lol !!
- What is Ronald Reagan's favourite vegetable? James Brady.
- Why doesn't Ronald Reagan drink orange juice? Because he's dead.
Humorous Ronald Reagan Jokes to Bring Fun and Laughter to Your Life
What funny jokes about ronald reagan you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean richard nixon jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make ronald reagan pranks.
A soviet joke about censorship that I found in my school book
An American tells a Russian that people in USA have the freedom of speech and that he even could go to the White House and shout:"Go to h**..., Ronald Reagan!"
The russian answers:"Oh, we also have freedom of speech. I, too, can go to Kremlin and shout:" Go to h**..., Ronald Reagan!"
Ronald Reagan got into hot water for telling this joke at the S.A.L.T. talks
Russian citizen goes to the Volga car dealership to buy his first car . Dealer says ''that'll be 20,000 Rubles , and we'll deliver it to you TEN YEARS FROM TODAY''. Man asks ''Morning or afternoon?'' Dealer says ''What's the difference , it's ten years from today''. Man says ''Well , the plumber is scheduled for that morning.''
The Clintons at President Reagan's f**...
I don't know if any of you watched the memorial service for Ronald Reagan, but if you did, you might've noticed Bill and Hillary were both dozing off.
Reagan, who never missed the opportunity for a good one-liner, raised his head out of the casket and said I see the Clintons are finally sleeping together
Back in the Sovjet days a guy wants to buy a car
The guy goes up to the counter at the Ministry of buying cars.
Guy: I would like to buy a car.
Clerk: Sure thing but it will take 10 years for processing your request. Come back then and your car will be ready for you.
Guy: Ok, morning or afternoon?
Clerk: Huh? what difference does it make, it´s 10 years from now?
Guy: Well, the plumber is coming in the morning.
Credit goes to Ronald Reagan
Here's a joke from the 80s
Ronald Reagan and Nancy Reagan are out to dinner. The waiter asks what the First Lady will have. She says, "I'd like the filet mignon, and a baked potato."
The waiter asks, "and the vegetable?"
Mrs. Reagan answers, "Oh, he'll have the same."
Heard this from my History Professor.
Ronald Reagan had such high regard for the office of President that his jacket was never off.
Bill Clinton had such high regard for the office of President that his pants were never on.
Ronald Reagan's Memory
One day a reporter confronted Ronald Reagan about a previous statement he had made. "Mr. President, you said that you would resign if your memory started to fade," the reporter said. Reagan smiled and replied, "I don't remember saying that."
A man walks into a t-shirt store...
There are 3 shirts on display.
The first has a picture of Richard Nixon with a white mustache. Below the picture is titled "Got Milk."
The second tee shirt has a picture of Ronald Reagan with a white mustache. It is entitled "Forgot Milk."
The third tee shirt has a picture of Monica Lewinsky with a white mustache. It is entitled "Not Milk."
(Sorry if Tha Joke was already taken) An American and a Soviet Russian...
Were Talking About Their Countries Freedom of Freedom and Rights , The American said : "Mr Kutznesova , in the Usa i can go right into the White House and say to President Ronald Reagan that he's way to Manage the Country isnt Right for Me " . The Russian Guy replied : " Mr Smith , i can also go to my President Gorbacev and say that i don't like the Way Ronald Reagan manages his Country".
A communist joke often told by Ronald Reagan
Two Russian friends were taking a walk downtown during the height of the Soviet Union. The one looks around at his country and says "is this it? Have we achieved peak Communism?"
The other responds "oh, no my friend, it gets much worse."
Ronald Reagan asks a mathematician: "What is two plus two?"
The mathematician replies "Four, Mr President."
Unsatisfied, Reagan asks a statistician. "What is two plus two?"
The statistician says "Based on our research, most people think it's between 3.8 and 4.3."
Still unsatisfied, Reagan asks an economist: "What is two plus two?"
"What do you want it to be, Mr President?"
List of the shortest books
1. The Australian Book of Foreplay.
2. Contraception by the Pope.
3. The American Guide to Etiquette.
4. Healthy Marriages by the British Royal Family.
5. Consumer Marketing Ethics.
6. Career Opportunities for History Majors.
7. My Life's Memories by Ronald Reagan.
8. Integrity by Bill Clinton.
9. The Wit and Wisdom of George W. Bush.
10. What I've Accomplished by Barack Obama.
A Navy Aircraft carrier and its entourage were traversing out at sea when they get a signal of an approaching mass.
They comm it and express for them to move out of their way they were on a mission of high importance. "Negative sir we cannot accommodate your request" The admiral quite taken aback exclaims that "Its not a request son, this is the United States Navy Aircraft carrier Ronald Reagan flanked by two naval war ships and a submarine. I repeat edit your bearings and move out of our way!" "Negative sir, were a lighthouse, so its your call!"
(Someone told that this actually happened one time)
Joe Biden knows in his heart that he is the only one who can truly defeat Ronald Reagan this November.
Oh sorry, I meant Joe Biden knows in his heart that he is the only one who can truly defeat Joe Biden this November.
