The Best 55 Ronald Jokes

Following is our collection of funny Ronald jokes. There are some ronald gerald jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud.

Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these ronald sashimi puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.

Top 10 of the Funniest Ronald Jokes and Puns

What is written on Ronald McDonald's gravestone?


Heard this from my History Professor.

Ronald Reagan had such high regard for the office of President that his jacket was never off.

Bill Clinton had such high regard for the office of President that his pants were never on.

Ronald Reagan's Memory

One day a reporter confronted Ronald Reagan about a previous statement he had made. "Mr. President, you said that you would resign if your memory started to fade," the reporter said. Reagan smiled and replied, "I don't remember saying that."

Ronald joke, Ronald Reagan's Memory

Why does C. Ronaldo comb his hair every game break?

So it won't get too Messi.

What type of condoms does Ronald McDonald use?


List of the shortest books

1. The Australian Book of Foreplay.

2. Contraception by the Pope.

3. The American Guide to Etiquette.

4. Healthy Marriages by the British Royal Family.

5. Consumer Marketing Ethics.

6. Career Opportunities for History Majors.

7. My Life's Memories by Ronald Reagan.

8. Integrity by Bill Clinton.

9. The Wit and Wisdom of George W. Bush.

10. What I've Accomplished by Barack Obama.

A man walks into a t-shirt store...

There are 3 shirts on display.

The first has a picture of Richard Nixon with a white mustache. Below the picture is titled "Got Milk."

The second tee shirt has a picture of Ronald Reagan with a white mustache. It is entitled "Forgot Milk."

The third tee shirt has a picture of Monica Lewinsky with a white mustache. It is entitled "Not Milk."

Ronald joke, A man walks into a t-shirt store...

A man by the name of Ronald Bates came home to find his butler being arrested...

"What in the world could my butler have done to be arrested?" Bates asked the police officer handcuffing the butler.
"We had a complaint from you next door neighbor that he was yelling obscene remarks," the police officer replied.
"Obscene remarks?!?! What was he saying?!?!"
"The neighbors say that, for a few minutes on end, he kept yelling 'Masturbates,' 'Masturbates!'

How do you find Ronald McDonald in a room full of naked clowns?

The Sesame Seeds on his buns.

(According to my father this is the first joke I ever told, around 5yo.)

In 1987 we had Ronald Reagan, Johnny Cash, and Bob Hope...

Now we have Obama, no cash, and no hope.

TIL Gerry Rafferty of Stealers Wheel is buried in the same graveyard as Ronald McDonald and Heath Ledger.

He has a clown to the left of him and a joker to the right.

You can explore ronald sep reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean ronald elect dad jokes. There are also ronald puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.

What did the ghost of Ronald Reagan tell Donald Trump after he assumed the presidency?

Hair down this wall.

Why didn't Ronald McDonald like to go fishing?

Because every time he did, he'd catch a whopper.

What does Ronald Reagan have that Jimmy Carter doesn't?

A widow.

What would Ronald Reagan be doing if he were alive today?

He'd be scratching at the lid of his coffin yelling, "Let me out! I'm alive! Let me out!!"

Ronald McDonald runs for president. His slogan?

Make America's Weight A Gain.

Ronald joke, Ronald McDonald runs for president. His slogan?


Have you ever seen Ronald Reagan's response to the Chernobyl incident?

He thought the Russians were just "overreacting."

On a scale from Casey Anthony to Jerry Sandusky... how much do you like kids?...

Somewhere around a Ronald McDonald, I pretend to like them but slowly kill them with diabetes

Where do I put the baby I adopted from the Ronald McDonald Orphanage?

In M'crib.

Needing to workshop a joke

Ok soooooo my dad texted and needs a joke comparing Donald trump to Ronald regan and it being rediculous that an actor can be the president . Can anyone help?

Pennywise the clown to Ronald

"you disgust me Ronald, you're not even scary."

Ronald McDonald: "I've killed more people than you."

Why is Ronald McDonalds immortal?

Because he's full of preservatives.

Which clown has killed the most people?

Ronald McDonald

If Ronald Reagan were alive today he would roll in his grave...

roll, scream, kick and so would you if you woke up in a casket.

What's the difference between the Joker and Ronald McDonald?

The Joker only killed people in Gotham City.

How do you find Ronald McDonald at a nude beach?

He's got sesame seed buns

Elmo, Bill Cosby, and Ronald Reagan are told to save the world.

Their solution: Tickle Down Economics

How does Ronald McDonald introduce his wife?

Meet Patty.

Back in the Sovjet days a guy wants to buy a car

The guy goes up to the counter at the Ministry of buying cars.

Guy: I would like to buy a car.

Clerk: Sure thing but it will take 10 years for processing your request. Come back then and your car will be ready for you.

Guy: Ok, morning or afternoon?

Clerk: Huh? what difference does it make, itΒ΄s 10 years from now?

Guy: Well, the plumber is coming in the morning.

Credit goes to Ronald Reagan

Why was John F. Kennedy secretly a more successful actor than Ronald Reagan?

He always knew how to take the perfect headshot.

What clown has killed more children than "It"?

Ronald McDonald.

What is Ronald McDonalds favorite band?

Fleetwood Big Mac

How do you spot Ronald McDonald at a nudist colony?

He's the one with the sesame seed buns.

How do you identify Ronald McDonald on a nude beach?

His sesame seed buns.

(My grandma told me this one)

[OC, be gentle] Ronald McDonald snuck up on a Happy Meal and said, "Serve fries!!!"

The Happy Meal replied, "Nugget out of my face."

How can you recognize Ronald McDonald at a nude beach?

He's the only one with sesame seed buns!

A communist joke often told by Ronald Reagan

Two Russian friends were taking a walk downtown during the height of the Soviet Union. The one looks around at his country and says "is this it? Have we achieved peak Communism?"

The other responds "oh, no my friend, it gets much worse."

There was a meeting for evil clowns to boast about their evil

First, pennywise stepped up and said,"I've killed millions of children!"
Then the joker stepped up and said," I've killed millions of adults without any super powers!"
Then the last of the group, Ronald Mcdonald, stepped up with a smile.
" I've killed millions of all ages without any super powers AND they paid me for it!!"

How can you spot Ronald McDonald on a nude beach?

He has sesame seeds on his buns.

Ronald Reagan got into hot water for telling this joke at the S.A.L.T. talks

Russian citizen goes to the Volga car dealership to buy his first car . Dealer says ''that'll be 20,000 Rubles , and we'll deliver it to you TEN YEARS FROM TODAY''. Man asks ''Morning or afternoon?'' Dealer says ''What's the difference , it's ten years from today''. Man says ''Well , the plumber is scheduled for that morning.''ο»Ώ

Ronaldo was so gracious to help Cavani off the pitch

So Cavani kindly returned the favour.

Ronaldo and Messi will finally both meet each other during the World Cup...

at an Airport as they return their respective home countries.

What did Ronald McDonald's wife say when she was about to give birth?

Sorry, water machine broke.

What did Ronald Reagan say when he found out he had cancer and Alzheimers? least I don't have cancer!

Ronaldo is the best

This case about Ronaldo, only showed how good he is get inside, without the opponent want.

What's Ronald McDonald's favorite sex position?

The Cooter Pounder.

The Burger King King hates Ronald McDonald

Not only because the represent competing restaurants, but because they both like the same girl.

Ronald is his double arch nemesis.

Joe Biden knows in his heart that he is the only one who can truly defeat Ronald Reagan this November.

Oh sorry, I meant Joe Biden knows in his heart that he is the only one who can truly defeat Joe Biden this November.

Here's a joke from the 80s

Ronald Reagan and Nancy Reagan are out to dinner. The waiter asks what the First Lady will have. She says, "I'd like the filet mignon, and a baked potato."

The waiter asks, "and the vegetable?"

Mrs. Reagan answers, "Oh, he'll have the same."

A classic joke from Ronald Regan (Not exactly accurate)

There are two Russians in the Soviet Union talking to each other and a curfew is about to be enforced

The two men say goodbye to each other and just as they do a soviet soldier walks over to the both of them and shoots one of the men dead

The other man says Why did you shoot him?

The soldier says I'm his friend I know where he lives he wouldn't have made it home in time

The Clintons at President Reagan's funeral

I don't know if any of you watched the memorial service for Ronald Reagan, but if you did, you might've noticed Bill and Hillary were both dozing off.

Reagan, who never missed the opportunity for a good one-liner, raised his head out of the casket and said I see the Clintons are finally sleeping together

Today, Ronald McDonald put a quarter in my expired parking meter ...

what a kind jester!

Jeffrey Dahmer and Armie Hammer are eating Ronald McDonald

Armie asks, "does this taste funny to you?" Jeffrey responds, "I think it's ginger."

What type of computer does Ronald McDonald use?

A big mac

How do you find Ronald McDonald in the nudist camp?

He's the one with sesame seeds on his buns.

Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the ronald jeffrey jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, are mean or racist, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become bullying and inappropriate.

We suggest to use only working ronald ronald reagan piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.

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