Romantic Jokes
153 romantic jokes and hilarious romantic puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about romantic that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
Looking for something fun and thoughtful for a special occasion? Check out this article for some of the best romantic jokes in mathematics, chemistry, and husband-wife comedies. Perfect for February or any time of the year!
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Funniest Romantic Short Jokes
Short romantic jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The romantic humour may include short romance jokes also.
- Some consider romeo and juliet a tale of true romantic love... But only if you consider 2 underage kids in a relationship that lasted 3 days causing 2 suicides and 3 murders romantic...
- My life is like a romantic comedy Except there's no romance and it's just me laughing at my own jokes.
> HA! Hilarious and original! Encore! - Don't ever get into a romantic relationship with a tennis player... Love means nothing to them.
- What is the definition of stalking? When two people takes a long, romantic walk on the beach, but only one of them knows about it
- When you see a deaf couple holding hands, maybe it's not romantic. Maybe they just want each other to shut up.
- Dark HUMOR When I see the names of lovers engraved on a tree, I don't find it cute or romantic. I find it weird how many people take knives with them on dates.
- My friends' girlfriend gets diagnosed with cancer.. He proposed to her on the spot. See ladies, it's not that men can't be spontaneous and romantic, we just don't like long term commitment
- My life is like a romantic comedy... except there's no romance and I'm the only one who laughs at my jokes.
- Whenever I see some initials carved into a tree with some hearts, I also think it's romantic. Two lovers on a date in the wood and one of them carrying a knife for some reason.
- I thought it was romantic to secretly swap my girlfriend's backpack for a bag of roses. Her skydiving instructor didn't.
Share These Romantic Jokes With Friends
Romantic One Liners
Which romantic one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with romantic? I can suggest the ones about dramatic and emotional.
- I want a girl who likes long romantic walks Because I don't have a car or any money
- I'm reading a romantic novel in Braille So touching...
- What do you call a clown that gives you flowers? A Romantic Jester!
- 1 and 2 are the most romantic numbers Because they are <3
- I hope my girlfriend enjoys long, romantic walks... ...because I don't have a car.
- Who are the least romantic athletes? Tennis players.
Love means nothing to them. - Why can't physicists get married? Any romantic matter is relative.
- What is it called when two tectonic plates have a romantic relationship? Subduction!
- Space may sound romantic... But I'd never take a date there; there's no atmosphere.
- What do you call an affectionate vagrant? A homeless romantic.
- romantic comedy about middle aged people playing tennis 40-love
- "I'm gonna steal her heart.." Is not that romantic when you say it during a surgery.
- My stats prof is so romantic... He keeps talking about his Bayes' Theorem
- A toast for a hopeless romantics wedding One word "Finally"
- Why is the eel considered the most romantic animal? Because its a moray.
Romantic Love Jokes
Here is a list of funny romantic love jokes and even better romantic love puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- Husband and wife are having a romantic dinner Wife: I love you so much! I can't live without you!
Husband: Is that you or the wine talking?
Wife: It's me... talking to the wine. - Call me a hopeless romantic. I can't wait for the day a woman loves me for my money.
- What do you call a protestant in love? A Popeless romantic.
- Melon love Two melons in a romantic relationship were discussing their feelings for each other.
"Honeydew you love me?" asked the first.
"Yes," replied the second, "but we cantaloupe." - Some love one,
Some love two.
I love one,
That is you. - Did you hear about the pirate who wrote a romantic song about his rowboat? Love me tender.
- What is a Neckbeard's favourite romantic comedy? Love Ackchyually
- What Do You Call a Romantic Basketball Player? Love Shaq
- What's a 12 year old boy's favorite romantic comedy? PS4, I Love You
- I love long romantic walks... ...to the fridge.
Love Romantic Jokes
Here is a list of funny love romantic jokes and even better love romantic puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- I don't understand why French is considered the language of love... Have you heard Latin?
It's so obviously **roman**tic.
Romantic Husband Wife Jokes
Here is a list of funny romantic husband wife jokes and even better romantic husband wife puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- Husband opens the car door for his wife Wife: aww you're so romantic
Husband: the door only opens from the outside
Romantic Math Jokes
Here is a list of funny romantic math jokes and even better romantic math puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- It was really romantic to see an 85 year old man and 77 year old woman who were a couple for 65 years. It was horrifying when I did the math.
Happy Romantic Jokes for a Lighthearted Night with Friends
What funny jokes about romantic you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean affectionate jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make romantic pranks.
How'd you like to go on a long romantic walk on the treadmill?
If it's true that we are what we eat, then I could be you by tomorrow morning.
What's a man's definition of a romantic evening? s**....
A woman stopped by, unannounced, at her son's house. She knocked on the door then immediately walked in.
She was shocked to see her daughter-in-law lying on the couch, totally n**.... Soft music was playing, and the aroma of perfume filled the room.
"What are you doing?!" she asked.
"I'm waiting for Mike to come home from work," the daughter-in- law answered.
"But you're n**...!" the mother-in-law exclaimed.
"This is my love dress," the daughter-in-law explained.
"Love dress? But you're n**...!"
"Mike loves me and wants me to wear this dress," she explained." It excites him to no end. Every time he sees me in this dress, he instantly becomes romantic and ravages me for hours on end. He can't get enough of me".
The mother-in-law left. When she got home, she undressed, showered, put on her best perfume, dimmed the lights, put on a romantic CD, and lay on the couch, waiting for her husband to arrive.
Finally, her husband came home. He walked in and saw her lying there so provocatively.
"What are you doing?" he asked.
"This is my love dress," she whispered sensually.
"Needs ironing"...
I went to my girlfriend's house last night for a romantic night in...
It was amazing, we had a three course meal with champagne over candle light, we then snuggled up on the sofa, to watch a movie, then, when we went up stairs, I let her get changed, while I spread rose petals over the bed, then, we had the most amazing, mind blowing s**... that I've ever had, but just as I was about to finish, her parents walked in...
I am now banned from babysitting.
Attractive. Brainy. Romantic. Faithful. Makes good food. Gives great head.
-- Online dating profile of a male praying mantis.
My girlfriend said I should be more Romantic...
She didn't like my toga but the o**... was great!
68
A man urges his wife to try a new s**... position - The . Curious, she asks about what romantic and exotic position her husband wants to try. "Well honey" he answers, "it's quite simple, you give me a b**..., and I owe you one"
Two ladies are in the gym locker room ....
changing into their running outfits. One lady notices her friend's tummy and asks: "Sara, why is there wax in your belly button?" Sara says, "Oh, you'll never believe how romantic my boyfriend can be. He just loves to eat by candlelight."
Two lovers get romantic on the night of their wedding.
The newly wed lady blushes and asks, "Honey, where will you take us for our honeymoon?"
"I will take you to the farthest islands of the Caribbean!"
"Really? And what would you do on our 25th anniversary?", asks the wife, now blushing even more.
"I will bring you back."
A wife texts her husband
A wife, being the romantic sort, sent her husband a text: "If you are
sleeping, send me your dreams. If you are laughing, send me your smile. If
you are eating, send me a bite. If you are drinking send me a sip. If you
are crying, send me your tears. I love you!"
The husband, typically non-romantic, replied: "I am on the toilet. Please advise."
An owl decided to make romantic advances towards another owl.
To wit, to woo.
what do you call a private, romantic rendezvous between two feet
a podiatryst
A long, romantic kiss... and then -
She: I think I swallowed your gum.
He: No, I just cleared my t**....
What did the hopeless romantic baker say to the dough?
You're my life's devotion. I knead you!
A man and wife are in bed, when...
...when the man slides his hand slowly across her shoulders, across her waist, under her neck, under her back, & suddenly stops...
Wife: " ( In a romantic voice) Why did u stop?"
Man: "(Whispering) I found the remote. You can go back to sleep"
Romantic men
3 men talk about their wives. The first one says: "My wife is like a butterfly, so delicate and pretty". The second one: "Mine is like a baby deer, beautiful and gracious". After a moment of silence the third one goes: "Now that I think about it mine doesn't look much human either".
Art of Living
Husband comes home from ART OF LIVING session
He greets his wife and lifts her and carries her around the house with a smile
Wife is so surprised and she asked:
Did guruji preach something about being romantic today?
Husband said:
No guruji told us that
"we must carry our burden and sorrow with smile"
I wonder if stereotypically romantic Spanish characters...talk in pauses...because they learned...how to speak English...by watching...the subtitles...of romantic movies.
Recently, a bunch of people have developed a f**... for letting their romantic partner intentionally spike their drink with roofies.
They call it Cos-play.
A Hot Romance
While watching a romantic movie, my wife leans over and whispers in my ear "I want you to make me sweaty and wet." So I shut off the fan.
Have I told you lately...
...is the least romantic line a toll-collector ever said to his girlfriend.
want a smart girl, a nice girl, a romantic girl.
But most importantly, I want these women to never meet.
I'm interested in this girl who only dates Catholic guys...
... I guess you could call me a pope-less romantic
What did the necrophile say when his girlfriend told him to be more romantic?
"You're dead to me."
Having some romantic time with yo girl when she asks you to go deeper
But you run out of poems.
Was starting to get romantic with a woman last night
As usual I began crying uncontrollably. After getting home it took forever to wash the pepper spray off.
The archeologist's office was closed early on 14th of February.
For a romantic evening of carbon dating.
Being romantic as an awkward mathematician is hard...
I called my girlfriend 1/cos(c) to try and compliment her but I don't think she caught my drift. Can't blame her though, that's a triggy one.
Wherever you are, if you need a romantic evening, call 180-LONG.
It's the International Date Line.
Me and my wife one night
My wife asked me: should we stay on the couch tonight and have a romantic evening or should we go bowling?
I repleid: well i am not sticking my fingers in some holes where every other person has stuck his sweaty dirty fingers in. So let's go bowling.
What did Mr. Potato Head give Mrs. Potato Head on their romantic night out?
A good fingerling.
A man brings home flowers to his wife
A man brings some flowers home to his wife. She's so surprised by his romantic gesture that she lays back on the dining table, throws her legs in the air and spreads them.
Her husband confused looks down and goes "What's that for?"
His wife replies "For the flowers of course"
He thinks for a moment and asks "Don't we have a vase?"
Difference between Romantic and Horror Movie
After watching a romantic one, you look for your teddy to hug.
After watching a horror one, your teddy starts looking at you
Are you a romantic man?
Yes. When my wife comes home late, I turn on the candles, let the place fill up with nice and warm water and throw in some soap.
So she can immediately start doing the dishes.
A guy walks in to a Hallmark Store.......
And asks the attendant:
Do you have a valentine's card that says: "Our love is unique, I love you with all my heart, you are the love of my life"?
Attendant says: How romantic,
Sure, We do have some.
The guy says: can I get 3 of those please.
What was the romantic with a f**... looking for?
a sole mate
When a Prince Kisses a Sleeping Princess, it's "Romantic"...
...but when I give a shoulder rub to the lady sleeping in front of me on the bus, I'm "banned from riding the bus"
Darkened Room
A young associate was romantically ambushed in a darkened room of the law firm. After months of the social isolation that comes from eighty hour work weeks, the associate was happy to reciprocate. However, when asked by a friend to identify the lover, the associate was puzzled. "All I know for sure is that it was a partner -- I had to do all the work."
Putting your finger on someone's lips and saying "Shhhh... Not another word." is super-romantic.
But the cop didn't think so.
My girlfriend said I don't know how to be romantic
So I yelled "DEUS VULT!" and invaded Gaul. Proved her wrong
I came home today to find my sister watching an action movie.
She told me she was watching it to learn how to fight. The next day I came home and she was watching a romantic comedy. She told me she was watching it to learn how to love. The day after that I came home and as I arrived there was a pizza delivery guy leaving the house. When I walked inside my sister told me she found a movie under my bed.
I came out to my girlfriend as a hetroromantic asexual.
She said I could work on the romantic part.
Etiquette rule #381: When on a romantic date with a lady, you feel the need to use the bathroom, excuse yourself by saying:
Excuse me, I need to go shake hands with a dear friend of mine, who I hope to introduce you to later tonight.
After 30 years of marriage, people always ask, "What's the secret of keeping the romance alive?" I always tell them...
We go to the same romantic restaurant every week, twice a week...
I go on Tuesday. She goes on Fridays.
Did you hear the one about the two romantic light bulbs?
They went out!
That got dark quick.
John: My friend Charlie has stolen my girlfriend's number from my mobile 2 days ago.
Harry: What happened then?
John: Charlie Has been sending romantic texts to his own sister since last 2 days.
Stalking is when two people are going for a romantic walk together
but only one of them knows about it
A man comes home from a sermon one day and picks up and carries his wife.
He then proceeds to carry her around the house.
The wife asks, "Did they say something about being romantic?"
The husband replies, "No, they said that we must carry our sorrows and burdens."
My wife left me because she believes I live in constant denial
Tonight we'll have a romantic dinner celebrating our 5th year anniversary
I went for a romantic break with the wife
She came out of the bathroom and said "take off my dress"
As I peeled off her dress, she said "take off my bra"
My hands trembled as I unclasped the strap. Then came "take off my knickers"
I slowly pulled them down, and she shouted
"and I don't ever want to catch you wearing them again!"
I gave my girlfriend a last kiss goodbye
I think its romantic but it made her f**... really awkward.
A man is shopping for a Valentine's Day Card
He goes into the shop and asks the lady working there, "Do you have any cards that say 'For the one and only love of my life?'
'That's so romantic! The lady exclaims 'Yes, we do have a card with that exact text.'
'Great!' the man replies, 'I'll take eight.'
Two women are having lunch on Valentine's Day
One says to the other "Do you and your husband have any romantic plans for tonight?"
The second scoffs "Oh, please. These days, he just buys me a half-dozen roses, and expects me to get on my back and spread my legs."
The first looks confused "Don't you have a vase you could put them in?"
Get something romantic today for that special person in your life!
And uh. Don't forget to get something for your spouse too.
What's more romantic than roses on a piano?
Tulips on an o**....
In a world controlled by AI and machines, two satellites decide to get married...
...Well the wedding wasn't too romantic but that reception was amazing!
One time, I carried out an entire conversation with a man by speaking to him in Spanish while he spoke to me in Italian
It was the most romantic conversation I've ever had
Girlfriend says I am not romantic enough.
So, now I have 2 girlfriends.
In honor of the Kentucky Derby:
Horse Racing is very romantic. The horse hugs the rail, the jockey puts his arms around the horse, and you kiss your money goodbye.
Got the check after a nice romantic dinner
And my date **expects** me to pay the bill just because we're married
I have s**... roughly once a week.
The other six times are much more romantic.
