Romans Jokes
109 romans jokes and hilarious romans puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about romans that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
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Funniest Romans Short Jokes
Short romans jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The romans humour may include short carpentry jokes also.
- A Roman soldier is bragging to his friend: 'You'll never guess with how many women I've slept!' 'Mmm?'
'Not that many!' - Two Romans were in a bar having a conversation.. Roman 1: you won't believe how many women I've slept with
Roman 2: mmm?
Roman 1: don't be ridiculous, not that many - I can't remember how to write 1, 1000, 51, 6 and 500 in roman numeral I M LIVID
- Roman guy: You won't believe how many women I've slept with Second Roman: mmm?
Roman Guy: don't be ridiculous, not that many - If a wealthy ancient Roman had a private bathroom on the sixth floor of his home... ...did that make it a VI P room?
- What do you call a Roman who just went down on his girlfriend? Glad he ate her...
Are you not entertained? - What's this "✌"? A Roman ordering 5 more beers.
joke by Art Pozner. He told me I could take it with me, and in his honor, you can take it with you. - a roman citizen walks into a bar raises two fingers and says to the waiter, five beers, please
- What did the Roman say when his wife was eaten by a tiger? Gladiator
- Why was the dieting Roman so thrilled? His toga size went from L to XL.
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Romans One Liners
Which romans one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with romans? I can suggest the ones about algebra and carpenter.
- I can't remember how to write 1, 1000, 51, 6 and 500 in Roman numerals I M LIVID
- I struggle with Roman Numerals until I get to 159. Then it just CLIX
- I, for one, like Roman Numerals
- My Roman doctor said I needed an IV. I asked: For what?
- Why didn't the Romans find algebra very difficult? Because X was always 10
- Just woke up from a dream about Roman numerals 5, 4, 1, and 500. It was VIVID.
- I forgot the Roman numerals for 51, 6, and 500. I am LIVID.
- Why are 490 Romans funny? Because XD
- How do you arrest a Roman woman? Caesar.
- Who is in favour of bringing Roman numerals back into use? I for one.
- What do you call a nun who walks in her sleep? Roman Catholic.
- My daughter has a math test on Roman numerals. I told her I hope she gets a "C".
- How was the Roman Empire cut in half? With a pair of caesars.
- Why do Romans always have a hard time ending relationships? Their X is always a 10.
- A Roman walks into a bar, holds up two fingers, and says "Five beers, please"
Uproarious Romans Jokes to Share with Friends
What funny jokes about romans you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean savior jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make romans pranks.
What did gay Jesus say to the romans?
Your father nailed me harder last night.
Romans...
I was in Italy the other week. And I remembered, my mother would always tell me, when in Rome, do as the Romans do. So I figured I'd take the advice; I thought it was a good idea.
Not too many others did though, when I nailed a Jew to a cross and threw stones at him.
Why was Jesus I such good shape?
Crossfit.
Why did the Romans hate Jesus so much?
He wouldn't shut up about crossfit.
What do Romans say when their wives run away?
Caesar!
When Jesus saw those riled up Romans
needless to say he was very cross.
What did the zombie gladiator say to the romans?
"ARE YOU NOT INTO BRAINS?! ARE YOU NOT. INTO. BRAINS!?"
TRIF
Thank Romans it's Friday
Many people think the Romans invented Vaseline
That was ancient grease
What did the Romans say to each other after crucifying Jesus?
"Nailed it!"
What do Romans use to cut their pizza?
Little Caesars.
What did the Ancient Romans use to cut their hair?
Caesars.
When someone says Jesus was a v**...
...I have to laugh. How about that one time he got nailed by a bunch of Romans?
My body is a temple.
What I mean by that is, it looks and feels like something the Romans destroyed 2,500 years ago.
Why did Jesus cross the road?
Because the Romans had nailed him to it.
I dont know what the Romans were thinking...
..But their candles make my house smell terrible.
Crucifixion of Jesus was not an easy task...
... however Romans nailed it.
What weapons did the Romans use to fight the Carthaginians
As-salt rifles
Why did the Romans pay their soldiers in salt?
So they would end up with seasoned veterans.
How do Romans pick up women?
Carpe DMs.
Ancient Romans were pretty backwards
I mean, it even took them a while to figure out how to count time for Christ's sake!
Why are 490 Romans are funny ?
Because XD
Edit : Sorry about the typo the second are is not supposed to be here
The Romans once said "All roads lead to Rome"
Much like how the n**...'s said "All railroads lead to Auschwitz"
What did ancient Romans say?
There will be lead!
What is Romans reproduction called?
Times New Roman.
What did the Romans say to the Carthaginians after the Punic War?
Bye Phoenicia!
It seems highly unlikely that the Romans would have built a new cross for every execution, which means...
Jesus was a repost.
Why do the Romans use more eggs in their omelets than the French?
Because the Romans feel that when it comes to eggs, you can't have too many o**....
But in France, they believe that one egg is un ouef.
Why didn't the Romans try to kill Jesus after he rose from the dead?
They were too afraid to double cross him.
What did the Romans say after they caught the heretic?
Nailed it.
Why did the Romans kill Jesus?
They were cross with him.
Why did the Romans cross Jesus?
Because he was a Jew.
What did Jesus say to the Romans after he rose from the dead?
Don't ever cross me again
Why don't Romans find algebra interesting?
X is always 10.
What did the doctors use to keep 4 Romans alive?
IVs
The Romans executed tens of thousands by crucifixion, and...
you're just gonna assume the guy on my necklace is Jesus?
Algebra was always easy for the Romans...
x was always 10.
Friends, Romans, Corn Futures Brokers,
Lend me your ears
What group of people always had the highest cell phone bills?
The Romans.
What did the Romans said when they finished the crucifixion?
Nailed it
When Jesus was getting nailed to the cross, he looked down on the Romans and said
Wait until my father hears about this.
The Romans must have s**... at Algebra
Because X was always 10.
The Ancient Greeks always thought something was off with the Romans
Like their heads were caput.
After Jesus was executed, the Romans placed coins over his eyes...
Today we refer to them as J.C. Pennies
Why were the Romans so bad with algebra?
They always ended up with X equals 10
The Romans did not find algebra challenging
because X was always 10
Why did ancient Romans not exchange high fives?
They didn't want to spread h**....
Ancient Romans believed the 54th birthday was the time to indulge in all your crazy impulses.
You only LIV once.
The ancient Romans would be saddened to know how many of their advances we'd forgotten. Aquaducts, fast food, underfloor heating...
But hey, it's all water over the bridge.
What do Romans yell when the golf ball is coming toward you?
IV
What do you call an o**... between 30 Romans?
x**...
The Greeks invented threesomes
The Romans added the women
Four Romans and one English guy are on a bar. What's the name of the waitress?
Ivone
Why didn't the Romans like puns?
Because they were too Punic.
what was the ancient romans favorite alcoholic beverage?
sham-pagan
If you read the bible backwards its about a man sent to earth on a cross who is helped down by some Romans and told to go on his way. He then travels the world making people blind and giving them leprosy. He even ruins a meal for a huge crowd by turning all their food into 2 fish and 5 loaves.
He gets fewer followers as time goes by and in the end he's lying in a stable and 3 old men steal all his presents.
What kind of exercise did the ancient Romans do?
Pontius Pilates
Why do romans s**... at algebra?
The always end up with x=10
What did the ancient Romans say when they got laid?
*Veni*
One time a lady walked up to me and asked me about my relationship with God
I politely responded "Well Jesus and I were going steady for a while but we broke up. One day I came home from work and he was spread out and being nailed by a bunch of Romans, so I had to break it of, our relationship was dead a few days later."
Why did the Romans not reuse any of their crucifixes?
Because that would have been cross contamination.
Why didn't the Romans reuse their crosses?
Because that would have caused cross contamination.
How do ancient Romans curse?
f**... YOV, YOV IACKASS.
Why are Romans invisible?
Because you can't colle-see-um.
The romans once tied together a bear and a bull in the colosseum to see what happened.
Unfortunately all that happened was the stock market collapsed
Crusifixion vs drowning...
Hey did the Romans crusify Jesus and not drown him, wich was common too....
.
.
Churches would really Sully with and aquarium on top....
Why did the Romans nailing Jesus to a cross lead to Christianity being the world's most believed religeon?
They made him hole-y
When Chuck Norris is in Rome
Romans do as Chuck Norris does
Some people think the romans were too harsh in their punishment of jesus
but I think they really nailed it.
How do Romans Hi-Five?
With two fingers
The ancient Greeks could have invented s**...
The ancient Greeks could have invented s**..., but it was the Romans who taught them to use it for women.
What do you get when you cross a mountain range with 40 elephants?
A strategic military advantage against the Romans in the Second Punic War.
Why are 490 Romans so funny?
XD
Why do romans always buy their clothes to big?
They go for XL if L is too big for them.
Roman Bois
Two romans went to a bar, one roman raised his index finger and middle finger to the waiter. When the waiter arrived with two beers, the two romans were mad and went out the bar. o**... told the waiter, "Boi, you are dumb."
Why didn't the Romans find algebra very challenging
they always knew X was 10
The Greeks invented s**......
But the Romans added women. Then they kicked all the men out.
Carl Wheezer joke
I worship Carl Wheezer and the Romans crusified him on a Croiss-ant
Romans
A Roman soldier walks into a bar, holds up 2 fingers and says to the bartender "5 beers please."
The Ancient Greeks invented s**....
The Ancient Romans discovered women.
