romans Jokes

funny pick up lines and hilarious romans puns

Two Romans were in a bar having a conversation..

Roman 1: you won't believe how many women I've slept with

Roman 2: mmm?

Roman 1: don't be ridiculous, not that many

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Why didn't the Romans find algebra very difficult?

Because X was always 10

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Why are 490 Romans funny?

Because XD

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The Romans didn't find algebra very hard

Because X was always 10

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Two Romans have a Conversation.

"Hey man, what year is it?"

"35 before Christ"

"Who the hell is that?"

"I have no fucking Idea"

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Why did the Romans pay their soldiers in salt?

So they would end up with seasoned veterans.

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Algebra was always easy for the Romans...

x was always 10.

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What did the doctors use to keep 4 Romans alive?

IVs

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It seems highly unlikely that the Romans would have built a new cross for every execution, which means...

Jesus was a repost.

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The Romans did not find algebra challenging

because X was always 10

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Why did ancient Romans not exchange high fives?

They didn't want to spread HIV.

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My body is a temple.

What I mean by that is, it looks and feels like something the Romans destroyed 2,500 years ago.

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Why do the Romans use more eggs in their omelets than the French?

Because the Romans feel that when it comes to eggs, you can't have too many ovum.

But in France, they believe that one egg is un ouef.

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What did the Ancient Romans use to cut their hair?

Caesars.

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Latin killed the Ancient Romans and now it's killing me...

Julius Caesar walks into a bar. "I'll have a martinus," he says. The bartender gives him a puzzled look and asks "Don't you mean a martini?" "Look," Caesar retorts, "If I wanted a double, I would have asked for it!"

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Crucifixion of Jesus was not an easy task...

... however Romans nailed it.

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What do you call an orgy between 30 Romans?

XXX

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Why didn't the Romans reuse their crosses?

Because that would have caused cross contamination.

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If you read the bible backwards its about a man sent to earth on a cross who is helped down by some Romans and told to go on his way. He then travels the world making people blind and giving them leprosy. He even ruins a meal for a huge crowd by turning all their food into 2 fish and 5 loaves.

He gets fewer followers as time goes by and in the end he's lying in a stable and 3 old men steal all his presents.

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Ancient Romans believed the 54th birthday was the time to indulge in all your crazy impulses.

You only LIV once.

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God's commandments (x-post classic4chan)

God went around the world looking for a nation to give his commandments to.

First he tried the French.

"Would you be interested in my commandments?"

"What's in 'em?"

"Well... There's 'thou shalt not commit adultery."

"No thank you."

God then tried the Romans.

"Would you be interested in my commandments?"

"What's in 'em?"

"Well... There's 'thou shalt not steal."

"No thank you."

Then God tried the Germans.

"Would you be interested in my commandments?"

"What's in 'em?"

"Well... There's 'thou shalt not kill."

"No thank you."

Finally God tried the Jews.

"Would you be interested in my commandments?"

"How much?"

"How much...? Well, eh, technically they're free, but you must maintain-"

"We'll take ten!"

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An old Greek man and an old Italian man are arguing.

The Greek man says "Look, all I'm saying is that the Greeks invented everything the Romans get credit for!"

The Italian says "Yes, may be, but the Romans improved it and made it useful!"

The Greek man says "We invented the Democracy!"

The Italian says "We realized the challenge of direct elections and the benefit of the legislature, and thus created the Republic!"

The Greek man says "Yes, but we created beautiful architecture like the Parthenon!"

The Italian says "And we improved your building techniques, and used them to create aqueducts and structures that stood for centuries longer!"

The Greek man, frustrated, finally says "Ah, of course. But the Greeks, we INVENTED sex!"

The Italian man says "That may be true, but we introduced it to women."

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What do Romans yell when the golf ball is coming toward you?

IV

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The Romans must have sucked at Algebra

Because X was always 10.

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What do Romans say when their wives run away?

Caesar!

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The Greeks invented threesomes

The Romans added the women

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What group of people always had the highest cell phone bills?

The Romans.

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Many people think the Romans invented Vaseline

That was ancient grease

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When someone says Jesus was a virgin

...I have to laugh. How about that one time he got nailed by a bunch of Romans?

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One time a lady walked up to me and asked me about my relationship with God

I politely responded "Well Jesus and I were going steady for a while but we broke up. One day I came home from work and he was spread out and being nailed by a bunch of Romans, so I had to break it of, our relationship was dead a few days later."

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Why do romans suck at algebra?

The always end up with x=10

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What do Romans use to cut their pizza?

Little Caesars.

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Why didn't the Romans try to kill Jesus after he rose from the dead?

They were too afraid to double cross him.

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What did Jesus say to the Romans after he rose from the dead?

Don't ever cross me again

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Why don't Romans find algebra interesting?

X is always 10.

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What are the most funny Romans jokes of all time ?

Did you ever wanted to stand out with a good sense of humour joking with someone about Romans? Well, here are the best Romans dad jokes to laugh out loud. Crazy funny puns and Romans pick up lines to share with friends.

Joko Jokes