Roman Jokes

Funniest Roman Short Jokes

Short roman jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The roman humour may include short riot jokes also.

1. A Roman soldier is bragging to his friend: 'You'll never guess with how many women I've slept!' 'Mmm?'
   'Not that many!'
2. I can't remember how to write 1, 1000, 51, 6 and 500 in roman numeral I M LIVID
3. If a wealthy ancient Roman had a private bathroom on the sixth floor of his home... ...did that make it a VI P room?
4. What's this "✌"? A Roman ordering 5 more beers.
   joke by Art Pozner. He told me I could take it with me, and in his honor, you can take it with you.
5. Why did the Romans pay their soldiers in salt? So they would end up with seasoned veterans.
6. Did you hear about the plan to prohibit the use of Roman numerals? *I for one*, think it's a terrible idea.
7. Do you know about the Roman emperor who had epilepsy? It was Julius Seizure.
8. Why were all Roman buildings made of stone? They crucified the carpenter.
9. It seems highly unlikely that the Romans would have built a new cross for every execution, which means... Jesus was a repost.
10. Have you heard about the Roman cannibalism trial? They asked the defendant if he was sorry for his crimes. He said no, he was gladiator.

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Roman One Liners

Which roman one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with roman? I can suggest the ones about romaine and roulette.

1. I can't remember how to write 1, 1000, 51, 6 and 500 in Roman numerals I M LIVID
2. I struggle with Roman Numerals until I get to 159. Then it just CLIX
3. I, for one, like Roman Numerals
4. My Roman doctor said I needed an IV. I asked: For what?
5. Why didn't the Romans find algebra very difficult? Because X was always 10
6. Just woke up from a dream about Roman numerals 5, 4, 1, and 500. It was VIVID.
7. Why are 490 Romans funny? Because XD
8. Who is in favour of bringing Roman numerals back into use? I for one.
9. My daughter has a math test on Roman numerals. I told her I hope she gets a "C".
10. How was the Roman Empire cut in half? With a pair of caesars.
11. Why do Romans always have a hard time ending relationships? Their X is always a 10.
12. A Roman walks into a bar, holds up two fingers, and says "Five beers, please"
13. What did the Roman say when his wife was eaten by a tiger? Gladiator
14. Why was the dieting Roman so thrilled? His toga size went from L to XL.
15. What did the doctors use to keep 4 Romans alive? IVs

Roman Numerals Jokes

Here is a list of funny roman numerals jokes and even better roman numerals puns that will make you laugh with friends.

• My friend told me she doesn't like Roman Numerals because you can't make puns from them. I told her, I for one, like Roman Numerals.
• A pirate captain asks his first mate "Find out what be the Roman numeral for the two" "Aye aye! " responds the first mate
• I heard people are trying to ban roman numerals. Not on my watch.
• My government recently announced they're phasing out Roman numerals... Not on my watch.
• Pirate Ship Captain: Can someone tell me how to write the number 2 in Roman numerals? Crew: I I captain.
• Who the heck cares about learning the Roman Numeral system? I for one...
• I got a C on my roman numerals test. Perfect score.
• There are eleven types of people in the world Those who understand Roman numerals, and those who don't.
• There are 11 types of people in this world.. a) those that understand Roman numerals.
  b) those that don't understand Roman numerals.
• A pirate captain says to his 3 crewmates, "Let's learn Roman numerals!" The first one says, "Aye."
  The second one adds, "Aye aye."
  The third one finishes, "Aye aye aye."

Ancient Roman Jokes

Here is a list of funny ancient roman jokes and even better ancient roman puns that will make you laugh with friends.

• What did the Ancient Romans use to cut their hair? Caesars.
• Ancient Romans believed the 54th birthday was the time to indulge in all your crazy impulses. You only LIV once.
• Why did the ancient Roman police arrest an Eagle? Because he was... Aquila.
• Many people think the Romans invented Vaseline That was ancient grease
• A history student was so enamored with Ancient Rome that he decided to become a Roman himself. His friends weren't very supportive. They kept telling him to get with the times, New Roman.
• What language did ancient Roman police speak? Pig Latin
• What did the ancient Roman weatherman say when his emperor asked for a forecast? "Hail, Caesar"
• What kind of exercise did the ancient Romans do? Pontius Pilates
• The ancient Romans would be saddened to know how many of their advances we'd forgotten. Aquaducts, fast food, underfloor heating... But hey, it's all water over the bridge.
• What is the favourite game of ancient roman people? Rock Papers CAAAEEEESSSSAAAAAARRRS.

Roman Empire Jokes

Here is a list of funny roman empire jokes and even better roman empire puns that will make you laugh with friends.

• If Nero, Tiberius, Caligula, and Commodus were all in Pompeii together, who would survive? The Roman empire.
• Who came after Augustus? Septembrus
• I used to wonder why my history teachers loved to teach about the Roman Empire so much. I think I get it now. They both hated vandals and goths.
• One day in August, Julius Caesar was standing on the balcony in his palace, watching the leaves drop silently from the trees. He was witnessing….The Fall of the Roman Empire.
• How did Diocletian cut the Roman Empire into 2 empires? By using Caesars.
• What caused the fall of the Roman Empire? The Earth's tilt.
• Want to know why I love the Roman Empire? Want to know why I love the Roman Empire?
  It has the best Senate money can buy.
• Q: You know the Roman Empire, well how do you think it fell?
  A: Chuck Norris
• Why did the Roman empire attacked and destroyed Carthage ? They wasn't Hannibal to pay their debt.

Roman Catholic Jokes

Here is a list of funny roman catholic jokes and even better roman catholic puns that will make you laugh with friends.

• What do you call a lost nun? A Roman Catholic
• What do you call a moving nun? A Roman Catholic
• A missing Chinese pyromaniac has been located hiding out at a Roman Catholic monastery. He was found praying with friars.
• What's the difference between a Roman and an Irish Catholic? The strength of the communion wine.
• I hear Donald Trump has been endorsed by the Roman Catholic Church He's called for a ban on contraception. He wants to make America mate again
• Did you hear about the priest at the nation's largest Roman Catholic church who forgot what he was supposed to say when administering the Holy Eucharist? He caused mass confusion.
• What do you call a nun on the run? A ROMAN CATHOLIC!

Old Roman Jokes

Here is a list of funny old roman jokes and even better old roman puns that will make you laugh with friends.

• Some guy just tried to tell me i can't be 443 years old and i don't undertand roman numerals i'm LIVID
• My sons teacher called me today to tell me he'd hit a classmate with a set of Roman numerals. That's not what I meant when I told him he should give bullies the old one-two.
• Did you know there's a cocktail called a Roman Polanski? It's made of 12-year-old Scotch garnished with a busted cherry.
• Roman Polanski turns 84 today. But he still feels like a 13 year old.

Laughable Roman Jokes for Instant Grins & Giggles

What funny jokes about roman you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean translator jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make roman pranks.