Following is our collection of byzantine humor and brutus one-liner funnies working better than reddit jokes. They include Roman puns for adults, dirty pompeii jokes or clean roma gags for kids.
There is an abundance of vici jokes out there. You're fortunate to read a set of the 53 funniest jokes on roman. Full with funny wisecracks it is even funnier than any helvetica witze you can hear about roman.
I M LIVID
'Mmm?'
'Not that many!'
Roman 1: you won't believe how many women I've slept with
Roman 2: mmm?
Roman 1: don't be ridiculous, not that many
Because X was always 10
I am LIVID.
Caesar.
Roman Catholic.
I told her I hope she gets a "C".
With a pair of caesars.
Second Roman: mmm?
Roman Guy: don't be ridiculous, not that many
Or he'll give you a HIV.
holds up two fingers, and says "Five beers, please"
He sits down and says
"I'll have a martinus please."
"Don't you mean a martini?" The bartender asks
The Ancient Roman replies
"If I wanted a double I would have asked for it."
Glad he ate her...
Are you not entertained?
XXX
A roman soldier walks into a bar and asks for a *martinus*.
You mean *martini*? , asks the bartender.
The roman soldier answers If I wanted two, I would have told you!
A Greek and Italian were sitting down one day debating who had the superior culture.
The Greek says, "We have the Parthenon"
The Italian says, "We have the Colosseum"
The Greek says "We had great Mathematicians"
The Italian says "We had the Roman Empire" and so on and so on and
Then Greek Says: "We invented sex" The Italian says:"That is true, but it was the Italians who introduced it to women"
His toga size went from L to XL.
So they would end up with seasoned veterans.
Got HIV instead
You shoot the guy pushing it.
It was Julius Seizure.
he Greek says "We built the Parthenon." the Italian says "We build the Colosseum." The Greek says "We came up with advanced Mathematics" The Italian says "We made the Roman Empire." The Greek is getting frustrated finally realizes how he can win the argument. "We invented sex." The Italian replies "True, true, I can't argue with that, but we thought of having it with women."
They crucified the carpenter.
because X was always 10
They asked the defendant if he was sorry for his crimes. He said no, he was gladiator.
I told her, I for one, like Roman Numerals.
"Aye aye! " responds the first mate
He was gladiator.
Love means nothing to them.
...I'm so LIVID right now.
I thought that it sounded pretty hot, turns out it was just 30 Roman plays.
So I gave the Bucharest
Romania: Wanna hear a joke?
Hungary: Sure!
Romania: Transilvania.
Hungary: I don't get it.
Romania: You will never get it.
Because the Romans feel that when it comes to eggs, you can't have too many ovum.
But in France, they believe that one egg is un ouef.
A Greek and an Italian were talking one day, discussing who had the superior culture.
Over coffee, the Greek says, "Well, we built the Parthenon."
The Italian replies, "We built the Coliseum.
The Greek retorts, "We Greeks gave birth to mathematics."
The Italian, nodding, says, "But we built the Roman Empire ".
And so on and so on until the Greek comes up with what he thinks will end the discussion.
With a flourish of finality he says, "We invented sex!"
The Italian replies, "That may be true, but it was the Italians who included women."
Roman soldier: "Don't worry, you'll get the hang of it."
The bartender says to him, "I'm sorry, we don't serve your type here."
So he shot the serif.
The bartender says: Oh, this is gonna be a week joke.
Pass it on
A Romanian, a Jew and a Somali are sitting under a tree. A caterpillar gets on the Romanian's shoulder.
The Romanian throws the caterpillar at the Jew, the Jew throws the caterpillar at the Somali, the Somali picks up the caterpillar and eats it.
Another caterpillar gets on the Romanian, the Romanian throws it at the Jew, the Jew picks it up and asks the Somali: "Do you want to buy a caterpillar?"
and says "I'll have a martinus." The bartender says "Do you mean 'martini?'" and the Roman says "No, I'm just going to have one."
Mr. Smith: II captain.
Does he get two or five drinks?
Neeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeroooo.
So I hit my coworkers with this one at work today, and they hated it. Never heard it before so not sure if someone else made it up first, but I'm sure you good peoples would know.
He says to the bartender "I'll have a martinus."
The bartender looks at him funny and asks "You mean martini?"
The Roman says "No. If I wanted a double I would have asked for it."
Because that would have caused cross contamination.
But Jesus was not impressed.
they always knew X was 10
Come again?
A Roman Catholic
Use only working piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Note that dirty and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. You can seriously offend people by saying creepy dark humor words to them.