Roman Jokes

Following is our collection of byzantine humor and brutus one-liner funnies working better than reddit jokes. They include Roman puns for adults, dirty pompeii jokes or clean roma gags for kids.

There is an abundance of vici jokes out there. You're fortunate to read a set of the 53 funniest jokes on roman. Full with funny wisecracks it is even funnier than any helvetica witze you can hear about roman.

The Best jokes about Roman

I can't remember how to write 1, 1000, 51, 6 and 500 in Roman numerals

I M LIVID

A Roman soldier is bragging to his friend: 'You'll never guess with how many women I've slept!'

'Mmm?'

'Not that many!'

I, for one, like Roman Numerals

Two Romans were in a bar having a conversation..

Roman 1: you won't believe how many women I've slept with

Roman 2: mmm?

Roman 1: don't be ridiculous, not that many

Why didn't the Romans find algebra very difficult?

Because X was always 10


I forgot the Roman numerals for 51, 6, and 500.

I am LIVID.

How do you arrest a Roman woman?

Caesar.

What do you call a nun who walks in her sleep?

Roman Catholic.

My daughter has a math test on Roman numerals.

I told her I hope she gets a "C".

How was the Roman Empire cut in half?

With a pair of caesars.

Roman guy: You won't believe how many women I've slept with

Second Roman: mmm?

Roman Guy: don't be ridiculous, not that many


Never give a Roman a high five.

Or he'll give you a HIV.

A Roman walks into a bar,

holds up two fingers, and says "Five beers, please"

An Ancient Roman walks into a bar.

He sits down and says

"I'll have a martinus please."

"Don't you mean a martini?" The bartender asks

The Ancient Roman replies

"If I wanted a double I would have asked for it."

What do you call a Roman who just went down on his girlfriend?

Glad he ate her...
Are you not entertained?

Turning 30 was a lot sexier in Roman times

XXX

A roman soldier walks into a bar

A roman soldier walks into a bar and asks for a *martinus*.

You mean *martini*? , asks the bartender.

The roman soldier answers If I wanted two, I would have told you!

The invention of sex

A Greek and Italian were sitting down one day debating who had the superior culture.

The Greek says, "We have the Parthenon"
The Italian says, "We have the Colosseum"
The Greek says "We had great Mathematicians"
The Italian says "We had the Roman Empire" and so on and so on and
Then Greek Says: "We invented sex" The Italian says:"That is true, but it was the Italians who introduced it to women"

Why was the dieting Roman so thrilled?

His toga size went from L to XL.


Why did the Romans pay their soldiers in salt?

So they would end up with seasoned veterans.

I asked my Roman friend for a high five

Got HIV instead

Old Romanian Joke: How do you stop an Albanian Tank?

You shoot the guy pushing it.

Do you know about the Roman emperor who had epilepsy?

It was Julius Seizure.

A Greek and an Italian are arguing over whose culture is superior.

he Greek says "We built the Parthenon." the Italian says "We build the Colosseum." The Greek says "We came up with advanced Mathematics" The Italian says "We made the Roman Empire." The Greek is getting frustrated finally realizes how he can win the argument. "We invented sex." The Italian replies "True, true, I can't argue with that, but we thought of having it with women."

Why were all Roman buildings made of stone?

They crucified the carpenter.

The Romans did not find algebra challenging

because X was always 10

Have you heard about the Roman cannibalism trial?

They asked the defendant if he was sorry for his crimes. He said no, he was gladiator.

My friend told me she doesn't like Roman Numerals because you can't make puns from them.

I told her, I for one, like Roman Numerals.

A pirate captain asks his first mate "Find out what be the Roman numeral for the two"

"Aye aye! " responds the first mate

Why was the roman smiling after going down on his wife?

He was gladiator.

Don't ever get into a romantic relationship with a tennis player...

Love means nothing to them.

I spent all of last night trying to remember the Roman numerals for 51, 6, and 500 and couldn't....

...I'm so LIVID right now.

My local theatre were showing some XXX Roman plays..,

I thought that it sounded pretty hot, turns out it was just 30 Roman plays.

I took a novel around Romania with me but it got tired.

So I gave the Bucharest

Romania: Hey Hungary!

Romania: Wanna hear a joke?

Hungary: Sure!

Romania: Transilvania.

Hungary: I don't get it.

Romania: You will never get it.

My local drama society put on an evening of XXX Roman plays. I thought it sounded sexy so I went along. It was just 30 plays.

Why do the Romans use more eggs in their omelets than the French?

Because the Romans feel that when it comes to eggs, you can't have too many ovum.

But in France, they believe that one egg is un ouef.

The Greatest Sex Culture . . .

A Greek and an Italian were talking one day, discussing who had the superior culture.

Over coffee, the Greek says, "Well, we built the Parthenon."

The Italian replies, "We built the Coliseum.

The Greek retorts, "We Greeks gave birth to mathematics."

The Italian, nodding, says, "But we built the Roman Empire ".

And so on and so on until the Greek comes up with what he thinks will end the discussion.

With a flourish of finality he says, "We invented sex!"

The Italian replies, "That may be true, but it was the Italians who included women."

Jesus: "Pardon me, I'm afraid I don't know what to do with this cross."

Roman soldier: "Don't worry, you'll get the hang of it."

Times New Roman walks into a saloon.

The bartender says to him, "I'm sorry, we don't serve your type here."

So he shot the serif.

4 Norse Gods, 1 Roman God, and 2 Astrological bodies walk into a bar.

The bartender says: Oh, this is gonna be a week joke.

HIV is roman numerals for high five

Pass it on

A Romanian, a Jew and a Somali are sitting under a tree.

A Romanian, a Jew and a Somali are sitting under a tree. A caterpillar gets on the Romanian's shoulder.

The Romanian throws the caterpillar at the Jew, the Jew throws the caterpillar at the Somali, the Somali picks up the caterpillar and eats it.

Another caterpillar gets on the Romanian, the Romanian throws it at the Jew, the Jew picks it up and asks the Somali: "Do you want to buy a caterpillar?"

A Roman walks into a bar

and says "I'll have a martinus." The bartender says "Do you mean 'martini?'" and the Roman says "No, I'm just going to have one."

Pirate Captain: Mistar Smith, do ya know how ta write two in Roman Numbers?

Mr. Smith: II captain.

If a roman walks into a bar and holds up two fingers..

Does he get two or five drinks?

Which Roman emperor loved planes the most?

Neeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeroooo.
 

So I hit my coworkers with this one at work today, and they hated it. Never heard it before so not sure if someone else made it up first, but I'm sure you good peoples would know.

A Roman walks into a bar...

He says to the bartender "I'll have a martinus."

The bartender looks at him funny and asks "You mean martini?"

The Roman says "No. If I wanted a double I would have asked for it."

Why didn't the Romans reuse their crosses?

Because that would have caused cross contamination.

"Great job!" said one Roman soldier to the other. "You really nailed that one!"

But Jesus was not impressed.

Why didn't the Romans find algebra very challenging

they always knew X was 10

What did the Roman soldier say when Jesus whispered his dying words on the cross?

Come again?

What do you call a lost nun?

A Roman Catholic

Use only working piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Note that dirty and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. You can seriously offend people by saying creepy dark humor words to them.

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