The Best 61 Roman Jokes
Following is our collection of funny Roman jokes. There are some roman brutus jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud.
Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these roman roma puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.
Top 10 of the Funniest Roman Jokes and Puns
I can't remember how to write 1, 1000, 51, 6 and 500 in Roman numerals
I M LIVID
A Roman soldier is bragging to his friend: 'You'll never guess with how many women I've slept!'
'Mmm?'
'Not that many!'
A Greek and an Italian are arguing over whose culture is superior.
he Greek says "We built the Parthenon." the Italian says "We build the Colosseum." The Greek says "We came up with advanced Mathematics" The Italian says "We made the Roman Empire." The Greek is getting frustrated finally realizes how he can win the argument. "We invented sex." The Italian replies "True, true, I can't argue with that, but we thought of having it with women."
Times New Roman walks into a saloon.
The bartender says to him, "I'm sorry, we don't serve your type here."
So he shot the serif.
Why was the dieting Roman so thrilled?
His toga size went from L to XL.
My local drama society put on an evening of XXX Roman plays. I thought it sounded sexy so I went along. It was just 30 plays.
Never give a Roman a high five.
Or he'll give you a HIV.
Why were all Roman buildings made of stone?
They crucified the carpenter.
I, for one, like Roman Numerals
How was the Roman Empire cut in half?
With a pair of caesars.
I spent all of last night trying to remember the Roman numerals for 51, 6, and 500 and couldn't....
...I'm so LIVID right now.
You can explore roman byzantine reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean roman pompeii dad jokes. There are also roman puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.
Why did the Romans pay their soldiers in salt?
So they would end up with seasoned veterans.
A Romanian, a Jew and a Somali are sitting under a tree.
A Romanian, a Jew and a Somali are sitting under a tree. A caterpillar gets on the Romanian's shoulder.
The Romanian throws the caterpillar at the Jew, the Jew throws the caterpillar at the Somali, the Somali picks up the caterpillar and eats it.
Another caterpillar gets on the Romanian, the Romanian throws it at the Jew, the Jew picks it up and asks the Somali: "Do you want to buy a caterpillar?"
Have you heard about the Roman cannibalism trial?
They asked the defendant if he was sorry for his crimes. He said no, he was gladiator.
The invention of sex
A Greek and Italian were sitting down one day debating who had the superior culture.
The Greek says, "We have the Parthenon"
The Italian says, "We have the Colosseum"
The Greek says "We had great Mathematicians"
The Italian says "We had the Roman Empire" and so on and so on and
Then Greek Says: "We invented sex" The Italian says:"That is true, but it was the Italians who introduced it to women"
Why do the Romans use more eggs in their omelets than the French?
Because the Romans feel that when it comes to eggs, you can't have too many ovum.
But in France, they believe that one egg is un ouef.
How do you arrest a Roman woman?
Caesar.
My local theatre were showing some XXX Roman plays..,
I thought that it sounded pretty hot, turns out it was just 30 Roman plays.
Turning 30 was a lot sexier in Roman times
XXX
Two Romans were in a bar having a conversation..
Roman 1: you won't believe how many women I've slept with
Roman 2: mmm?
Roman 1: don't be ridiculous, not that many
A pirate captain asks his first mate "Find out what be the Roman numeral for the two"
"Aye aye! " responds the first mate
I forgot the Roman numerals for 51, 6, and 500.
I am LIVID.
What do you call a Roman who just went down on his girlfriend?
Glad he ate her...
Are you not entertained?
I took a novel around Romania with me but it got tired.
So I gave the Bucharest
The Romans did not find algebra challenging
because X was always 10
A Roman walks into a bar,
holds up two fingers, and says "Five beers, please"
Why didn't the Romans find algebra very difficult?
Because X was always 10
Do you know about the Roman emperor who had epilepsy?
It was Julius Seizure.
I asked my Roman friend for a high five
Got HIV instead
Don't ever get into a romantic relationship with a tennis player...
Love means nothing to them.
My daughter has a math test on Roman numerals.
I told her I hope she gets a "C".
Old Romanian Joke: How do you stop an Albanian Tank?
You shoot the guy pushing it.
HIV is roman numerals for high five
Pass it on
What do you call a nun who walks in her sleep?
Roman Catholic.
Romania: Hey Hungary!
Romania: Wanna hear a joke?
Hungary: Sure!
Romania: Transilvania.
Hungary: I don't get it.
Romania: You will never get it.
Why was the roman smiling after going down on his wife?
He was gladiator.
Roman guy: You won't believe how many women I've slept with
Second Roman: mmm?
Roman Guy: don't be ridiculous, not that many
My friend told me she doesn't like Roman Numerals because you can't make puns from them.
I told her, I for one, like Roman Numerals.
The Greatest Sex Culture . . .
A Greek and an Italian were talking one day, discussing who had the superior culture.
Over coffee, the Greek says, "Well, we built the Parthenon."
The Italian replies, "We built the Coliseum.
The Greek retorts, "We Greeks gave birth to mathematics."
The Italian, nodding, says, "But we built the Roman Empire ".
And so on and so on until the Greek comes up with what he thinks will end the discussion.
With a flourish of finality he says, "We invented sex!"
The Italian replies, "That may be true, but it was the Italians who included women."
Jesus: "Pardon me, I'm afraid I don't know what to do with this cross."
Roman soldier: "Don't worry, you'll get the hang of it."
4 Norse Gods, 1 Roman God, and 2 Astrological bodies walk into a bar.
The bartender says: Oh, this is gonna be a week joke.
A Roman Legionnaire walks into a bar.
The bartender asks "What can I get you?" to which the Legionnaire replied: "A Martinum please".
The bartender looked puzzled, "Don't you mean a Martini?"
The legionnaire snapped back with "If I wanted a f*cking double I'd ask for one!"
What did the Roman say when his wife was eaten by a tiger?
Gladiator
Who the heck cares about learning the Roman Numeral system?
I for one...
A Roman centurian walks into a bar
And says to the barman "I'd like a Martinus, please"
The barman says "don't you mean a Martini?"
And the centurion snaps "if I wanted a double I would have asked for one"
What do you call a Roman Emperor, without his epileptic pills?
Julius Seizure
Two Roman gladiators are talking....
The one guy says, "Guess how many women I've slept with?"
The second guy goes, "Mmmm..."
The first dude goes, "Are you serious?! I'd be dead!"
My government recently announced they're phasing out Roman numerals...
Not on my watch.
What's this "✌"?
A Roman ordering 5 more beers.
joke by Art Pozner. He told me I could take it with me, and in his honor, you can take it with you.
A roman soldier was looking at his shadow
"Oh shit, I'm late!"
a roman citizen walks into a bar raises two fingers and says to the waiter,
five beers, please
One day during a war....
A tall, strong and handsome Roman soldier broke into a house where he found two luscious maidens and their matronly nurse.
Chuckling with glee, he roared, "Prepare thyselves for a conquest, my pretties."
The lovely girls fell to their knees and pleaded with him, "Do with us as thou wilt, O Roman, but spare our faithful old nurse."
"Shut thy mouth," snapped the old nurse. "War is war."
I heard people are trying to ban roman numerals.
Not on my watch.
A Romanian tells a Hungarian a joke
Romanian:wanna hear a joke
Hungarian:Sure
Romanian:transylvania
Hungarian:i dont get it
Romanian:and you never will
A Roman walks into a bar and orders a Martinus.
"Do you mean a martini?" the bartender asks.
"Look, if I wanted a double I would have said so."
If Nero, Tiberius, Caligula, and Commodus were all in Pompeii together, who would survive?
The Roman empire.
A Roman walks into a bar and holds three fingers up to the bartender
The bartender asks "Will that be 3, 4, or 6 beers please? "
Roman Sailors
Roman sailors always replied to a command by saying, "2, sir".
I used to wonder why my history teachers loved to teach about the Roman Empire so much. I think I get it now.
They both hated vandals and goths.
My History teacher got so angry that I couldn't translate the sequence 50,1,5,1,500 into Roman Numerals
You could almost say he was Livid.
Some guy just tried to tell me i can't be 443 years old and i don't undertand roman numerals
i'm LIVID
Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the roman vici jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, are mean or racist, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become bullying and inappropriate.
We suggest to use only working roman helvetica piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.