Rolling Jokes
160 rolling jokes and hilarious rolling puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about rolling that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
Are you up for some lighthearted fun? "Rolling Jokes" can help you get the party started! Explore the crazy range of meanings behind rolling stones, rolling pins, rolling eyes, rick rolling, dice rolling, rowling, roll of quarters, and Niagara. Get ready to roll on the floor laughing!
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Funniest Rolling Short Jokes
Short rolling jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The rolling humour may include short rolled jokes also.
- I got pulled over by a female cop... When I rolled down my window to ask what was wrong, she said
"NOTHING" - I wrote the names of everyone I've unfriended onto a piece of paper; but my roommate took it and rolled it into a joint. Now he's high on my list of people I never want to see again.
- I wrote down the names of all the people I hate, and my roommate used it to roll his joint. He is now high on my list of people I never wanna see again.
- I took an epileptic girl to a rave I jokingly told her, "I hear this place has rave reviews", but she just rolled her eyes at me.
- "It's a boy", David shouted, "It's a BOY!" With tears rolling down his eyes, David came running out of the room. And never visited Bangkok again.
- Some people say rolling for stats in D&D is old fashioned and unforgiving But I think it builds character.
- I saw a lady texting and driving today I was furious. I rolled down my window, and threw my beer at her.
- Why is everyone obsessed with that new horror movie? Like, i was driving today and this is the third time someone has rolled down their window and yelled to me: Hey! Watch It!
- What's four inches long, two inches wide, and drives women crazy? An empty toilet paper roll.
- "It's a boy!" I shouted tear rolling down my face "I don't believe it. A boy!" Its at that moment I decided I'd never visit Thailand again.
Share These Rolling Jokes With Friends
Rolling One Liners
Which rolling one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with rolling? I can suggest the ones about rowing and roulette.
- What is Harry Potter's favorite way to get down a hill? walking.
…
j/k…rolling. - What's Sisyphus' least favorite band? Rolling Stones
- What does a Thesaurus eat for breakfast? A synonym roll.
- Finally my winter fat is gone Now I have spring rolls
- My friend used my todo list to roll a blunt He's high on my list of priorities
- Two mice are chewing on a film roll One says, "I liked the book better"
- How does the author of harry potter get down a hill? By walking. JK. Rolling
- My friends keep telling me to stop impersonating butter. But I can't. I'm on a roll now
- How did Harry Potter make it to the bottom of the hill? By walking... jk rolling
- How did harry potter get down the hill? Walking.
LoL
JK. Rolling. - Sometimes I tuck my knees up into my chest and lean forward. That's just how I roll.
- What do you call 100 little sheep rolling down a hill? A lambslide
- What do you call a pastry that is yummy, tasty, and delicious? A synonym roll.
- What do you do with 365 used condoms? Roll them up into a tire and call it a Goodyear!
- Is that a sushi roll in your pocket? Or are you just happy sashimi?
Rolling Eyes Jokes
Here is a list of funny rolling eyes jokes and even better rolling eyes puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- What's chocolate's preferred pronouns? Her/she
I got an eye roll from the wife on this one. I guess that's the dad joke seal of approval. - My wife really wanted a dog, so I bought her a pug. Despite the squashed nose, bulging eyes and rolls of fat, the dog really seems to like her.
- "Son, do you know what the opposite of ladyfingers is?" "No dad," I say rolling my eyes.
"Mentos." - Bad puns That's how eye roll.
- "Its a boy", he shouted. "It's a BOY! I still can't believe it! Tears rolling down his eyes, swearing never to come back to Thailand again.
- Why are eye jokes worse than toe jokes? Because toe jokes may be cheesy, but eye jokes are cornea.
- Was grilling burgers and asked the wife if she wanted toasted buns She said yes. I said, well go stand by a fire… I could just about hear the eye roll.
- Keep rolling your eyes, you might eventually find a brain.
- My 1 year old was eating dinner and his runny nose got on his food. My wife goes: "uh, yea the snot really makes it"
I replied: "A little sneezoning."
I don't think I've seen her eyes roll so hard. - My most dad joke for real life eye rolls. *giving someone a gift card for a specific shop*
Don't spend it all in one place! ;)
Rolling Stone Jokes
Here is a list of funny rolling stone jokes and even better rolling stone puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- I was writing a joke about a stone rolling up a hill, but it lost momentum. It still has potential.
- I'm in a band. We do covers of Stone Sour, Stone Temple Pilots, and The Rolling Stones. We're a rock band.
- What's the difference between a Scotsman and the Rolling Stones? The Rolling Stones sing "hey you... Get off of my cloud."
The Scotsman says, "Hey McCloud, get off of my ewe." - What's the difference between a Scotsmen and The Rolling Stones? The Rolling Stones would yell 'Hey! You! Get offa mah cloud!"
But a Scotsmen would tell 'Hey! McCloud! Get offa mah EWE!' - What's the difference between a Scotsman and The Rolling Stones? The Scotsman says Hey Macleod, get off my ewe!!
I'll see myself out. - What are the Rolling Stones better at than the Bee gees? Stayin' Alive
- What's the difference between a rolling stone and a Scottish shepherd? One says, "hey, you! Get off of my cloud!"
The other says, "hey Macleod! Get off of my ewe!" - What music band does Sisyphus hates the most? The Rolling Stones
- What version of the Rolling Stones' "Hey You, Get Off of My Cloud" is played on Scottish Radio? Hey, McCloud! Get off of my ewe!
- What's Sisyphus's favourite band? The Rolling Stones!
Rick Rolling Jokes
Here is a list of funny rick rolling jokes and even better rick rolling puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- An 80s singer caught himself on fire, what does he do? Stop, Drop, and Rick-Roll
- This is not a Rick Roll >!Guys seriously, it's not.!< >!But!< >!did!< >!you!< >!expect the Spanish!< >!Inq!< >!uisition?!<
- What did the dead meme do when someone misused him? Rick rolled in his grave.
- What do you call an Irishman with no arms and no legs who's rolling down a hill? Rick O'Shay.
- I'm guessing Trump has been Rick Rolled too many times ... Because he just gave you up, let you down and deserted you.
- What happened when Rick fell down a hill? Rick rolled.
- What genre is "Never Gonna Give You Up"? Rick and roll!
- What another way of saying a sentient cylindrical vegetable rotated itself? Rick rolled
- No one here needs to read a rant. It's just been difficult these past few hours. I don't know how to proceed. Alexa. Play Rick Roll.
- Everydau, hundreds of people are rick rolled. I promise that we are... Never gonna give you up.
Dice Rolling Jokes
Here is a list of funny dice rolling jokes and even better dice rolling puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- Pre-2000s, gender was like flipping a coin. Now it's like rolling a DnD dice.
- Universe's odds of existing? Near impossible. Humanity's odds of existing? Near impossible. My chances at a relationship? Well... I make the other odds look like a 1 in 6 roll on loaded dice.
- COD Rolled the Dice but Battlefield 1
- I couldn't believe my local casino had a 'bring your own custom dice' night. I just rolled my eyes.
- why should you never play boardgames with Coldplay? 'cause they'll never roll the PAIR'O PAIR'O PAIR'O DICE
- Whenever Chuck Norris rolls a 6 sided dice, he always rolls a 7.
- Chuck Norris once rolled a dice.
It landed on tails. - If you're concerned about your new partner's s**... history, and you don't want to catch g**... warts, imagine you're playing chess, not craps. So don't roll the dice. Check first, and then mate.
Rolling Stones Jokes
Here is a list of funny rolling stones jokes and even better rolling stones puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- What's Indiana Jones's least favorite band? The Rolling Stones
- I wish my parents ran when they heard The Rolling Stones. Now they're stuck under a pile of rocks.
- Why is it appropriate that the Rolling Stones let their song Start Me Up be used for a Windows 95 commercial? Because it contains the lyrics You'd make a grown man cry.
- Styx and The Rolling Stones I think Styx and The Rolling Stones should've toured together
They could've called it the Break Your Bones Tour - Did you hear the single by the Scottish Rolling Stones? Hey Mcloud get off of my Ewe!
- What does a rolling stone grow into ? A punk rock
- what's a geodude's favorite band? the rolling stones
- I remember when The Doors and The Rolling Stones played soccer together. The final score was Five to One.
- What Bob Dylan song was ranked by Rolling Stone magazine as the #14 greatest song of all time? The answer, my friend, is Blowin' in the Wind.
- A rockslide wiped out a concert not long ago. The Rolling Stones made quite an appearance.
Gather Around for Heartwarming Rolling Jokes and Uplifting Humor
What funny jokes about rolling you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean spin jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make rolling pranks.
What do you call a laptop in the ocean?
A Dell, rolling in the deep.
What happens when you throw a laptop into the ocean?
You have a Dell, rolling in the deep.
A man and his wife drove past the beautiful countryside...
They saw a pig, rolling in the mud, so wife said: "Your relative?"
Man replied: "Yes, mother-in-law."
I asked m**... Jagger to pick me up some swampy plants.
But a Rolling Stone gathers no moss.
What do you call the president when he is rolling down a snowy hill?
An Obama-nable snowman
A piece of rope walks into a bar.....
The bartender says, "hey, we don't serve your kind here. Now get out!" The piece of rope leaves, but it's determined to get a drink, so it starts rolling on the ground, ties itself up and splits it's ends. Looking beat up, the rope walks back into the bar and orders a drink. The bartender looks at the rope and says, "hey, aren't you that piece of rope that I just kicked out of here?" The rope looks at the bartender and says, "nope, I'm a frayed knot."
A joke about Germans - I´m German and i was rolling on the floor laughing about it
Q: Why do they bury Germans 20 meters underground?
A: Because deep down they are really nice.
The newest iPhone 6 Plus has an excellent battery life, thanks to...
...the energy generated by the perpetual motion of Steve Jobs rolling in his grave.
Why did the orange stop rolling down the hill?
It ran out of juice.
I shall take my leave now.
I threw my laptop into the ocean..
Its a Dell rolling in the deep.
A driver gets pulled over . . .
A man gets pulled over for rolling through a stop sign. While the officer is doing the routine license check, he spots two penguins sitting in the back seat of the car.
The cop tells the driver, "I'll let you off this time, but you need to take those penguins straight to the zoo." The driver was happy to get off with just a warning, so he agrees.
The next day, the officer sees the same car in another part of town, with some penguins peeking out the back windows.
He pulls over the driver again. "Hey, I thought I told you to take these penguins to the zoo just yesterday!"
"Your sure did," says the driver, "and what a great idea that was. We had so much fun that today I'm taking them to the beach!"
"It's a boy!"
...he screamed, "it's a boy!".
Tears rolling down his face, and he vowed to never go back to Thailand.
If w**... becomes legalized after Snoop Dog dies
He'll be rolling in his grave
A new source of electricity is found!
Lincoln is is infinitely rolling in his grave right now.
We can use that somehow.
What do you call a computer on the bottom of the ocean?
A Dell rolling in the deep.
I own a very profitable bakery
I guess you could say, i'm rolling in the dough
I dropped my laptop in the middle of the ocean
A dell must be rolling in the deep
I saw a woman rolling on the ground in agony.
She looked at me and yelled, "Don't just stand there!"
So I started doing star jumps.
I work IT and this ladies computer would not stop playing Rolling in the Deep
Asked her what brand her computer was and she said "a Dell"
It hasn't even made it through the senate...
And Bronx-Lebanon Hospital is already rolling out Trumpcare.
Every cook has a secret
The Admiral was visiting one of his ships. When having tea he noticed that every biscuit has the ship's insignia embossed on it.
He is impressed and calls the cook to ask him how he does this.
Cook: When rolling the biscuits I slap each one onto my belt buckle before putting them in the oven.
Admiral: That's pretty unhygienic.
Cook: In that case sir, I'd suggest you skip the doughnuts.
What did m**... Jagger do when he found his cupboard was infested with moths?
Nothing. A rolling stone gathers no moths.
Why did the toilet paper stop rolling?
It got stuck in a crack.
What is Harry Potter's favorite method of getting down a hill?
Walking....
Jk, rolling
I asked a pregnant woman if I could feel the baby
She said that I could, but once I started rolling my sleeve up past my elbow she ran away. Rude.
Aaron Paul prefers to stay in character even when the cameras aren't rolling
It's called methead acting
I went to the clinic today and nervously said, "Doc, this is a little embarrassing, but I've got a problem." Rolling his eyes, chuckling softly, he retorted, "Trust me, I'm a doctor. Nothing you can show me would be startling."
Hesitating just a bit, I stammered, "Well...I...I...I seem to have 5 p**...."
Stunned, eyes wide, he rasped, "Wait, what?! How did you get your pants on!?"
I whispered, "Actually, they fit like a glove."
What beer do you drink on Easter Sunday?
Rolling Rock
A group of men are out sailing when they decide to see what the chef is cooking for dinner.
They walk in and, being that he doesn't have a rolling pin, see him flattening biscuits with his armpit.
That's disgusting! o**... says to the other.
Yeah, well you should see how he makes donuts!
I am a fried nut
A string walks into a bar, and the bartender's all like "HEY, WE DON'T SERVE STRING IN HERE". Now obviously this makes the string very angry, so he goes outside and just goes CRAZY. He's rolling around, punching walls, hitting the ground, and by the time he's finally tired out he got himself all t**... and his ends frayed. So he walks back into the bar, and the bartender's like "HEY, ARE YOU THAT STRING FROM EARLIER?" And the string says "nope, I'm a frayed knot."
(Stolen idea but funny) My kid embarrassed me by throwing a huge fit and rolling around on the floor when I took him shopping.
That's the last time I take an epileptic kid to the strobe light store
I feel sorry for Neymar's ancestors after today's loss
They must be rolling in their graves.
Not mine but felt it had to be shared.
If Snoop Dogg dies before p**... becomes legal in the US,
He will be rolling in his grave.
Neymar was found at a Celine Dion concert, screaming from pain and rolling around.
He was touched by the music.
What's black and white, black and white and black and white?
A panda bear rolling down a hill
People usually think rolling a Natural 1 is a total disaster
But apparently the real disaster is Roll20.
What do you call a bunch of sheep rolling down a hill?
A lambslide
Schrodinger's cat was meant to prove how dumb quantum states are, yet it's widely used to advocate and explain it. I bet he's rolling in his grave...
and not
I caught the flu in Madrid.
While sniffling and coughing and rolling around in the hotel bed, I realized I needed medical attention, so I called the concierge to get help.
"Oh, so you're sick!" came the reply. "Not a problem, we'll send our very own hotel doctor up to your room right away!"
The doctor strolled into the room within seconds, and whilst I stuttered and tried to comprehend the situation, he gave me some medicine to ease the symptoms. When I finally stammered out "h...how does the hotel have their own doctor on call?", he simply shook his head and cracked a smile, and replied:
"Nobody expects the Spanish inn physician."
Why are millionaires sticky?
Because they're rolling in dough.
What's Indiana Jones's least favorite beer?
Rolling Rock
I once dropped my laptop into the lake
Now it's just a dell rolling in the deep
I threw my laptop into the sea last week...
It's a dell, rolling in the deep
India has decided to boycott Chinese products on all fronts to protest the latter's stand on disputed territories and their failure to inform India on the Coronavirus.
Meanwhile, Chinese textile mills are rolling out an all-new clothing line: "Boycott China" and are anticipating great demand from India.
My Grandmother found and flushed my w**... so, I hid her weelchair......
Now neither of us are rolling
An American is typing on a computer when he flies into a rage, shouting "How the h**... am I misspelling color"?
A Canadian takes a quick look at the screen before rolling his eyes and walking away, saying "that sounds like a you problem".
A bus full of ugly people had a head on collision with a truck...
A bus full of ugly people had a head on collision with a truck. When they died, God granted all of them one wish. The first person said, "I want to be gorgeous." God snapped his fingers and it happened. The second person said the same thing and God did the same thing. This want on and on throughout the group. God noticed the last man in line was laughing hysterically. By the time God got to the last ten people, the last man was laughing and rolling on the ground. When the man's turn came, he laughed and said, "I wish they were all ugly again."
My grandma took my ecstasy, so I took her wheelchair.
Now neither of us are rolling.
What's black and white, black and white, and black and white?
"A penguin rolling down a hill"
My 6 y.o just told me this one and I don't know why I laughed so hard. I felt it should be shared. Lol
A wife his her husband with a rolling pin
A wife hits her Husband with a rolling pin, the husband says ouch! What was that for?
The wife then tells him I found a piece of paper with the name Jenny on it
The husband then tells her that Jenny was the name of the horse he put a bet on last week.
The wife apologises to him.
The next the wife hits her husband with a rolling pin.
The husband says ouch! What was that for?
The wife then says your horse is on the phone
Grandma took my w**...
so I took her wheelchair neither of us rolling.
I decapitated myself for a mountain rolling competition.
I guess you could say I was ahead.
How does Dumbledore get down a hill?
Running....
J.K. Rolling
m**... Jagger and Keith Richards were arrested for allegedly breaking into a Spanish man's house
They reportedly took some of his belongings (only what they could carry). When the police asked the homeowner about it, he said "They took what they could, but then.... The Rolling Stones gathered no más."
What's black and white and black and white and black and white and Red?
A nun rolling down the stairs
Ugly Ones
A bus full of ugly people had a head on collision with a truck. When they died, God granted all of them one wish. The first person said, "I want to be gorgeous.
God snapped his fingers and it happened. The second person said the same thing and God did the same thing. This want on and on throughout the group. God noticed the last man in line was laughing hysterically. By the time God got to the last ten people, the last man was laughing and rolling on the ground. When the man's turn came, he laughed and said, "I wish they were all ugly again."
Guy is rolling down the sidewalk in a desk chair
He has a laptop under one arm, a phone under the other. A portable printer on his lap. He has a small wastepaper basket on his head. A swingline stapler in his shirt pocket
Cop spots him and says "what do you think you are doing?"
"Impersonating an office, sir."
An eye-rolling joke
Dad: You know who all I saw today?
Daughter: Who?
Dad: Everybody I looked at
Daughter: Huh?!
Dad: You don't like my vision joke? Too bad, that's how eye-roll ** rolls eyes **
Daughter: I'm not laughing at your eye rolling jokes again
Dad: Why? Is it too "cornea" for you? XD
Daughter: I give up, lol.
Dad: I'm still the master, you're still the "pupil" XD
"I'm so sorry, my dog ate my homework." Rolling his eyes, my computer science professor shot back, "Really?! Your dog ate your coding assignment?"
"Well, to be perfectly honest, it did take him a couple bytes."
My friend told me a joke about Sisyphus.
It had me rolling.
A nurse is walking down the hall when another nurse stops her and asks what she has behind her ear.
She reaches back and pulls out a thermometer, rolling her eyes.
"g**..., some a**...'s got my pen!"
Why doesn't m**... Jagger date British supermodels?
A Rolling Stone gathers no Moss.
Why did the pizza shop close early?
Because they were rolling in dough
A woman playing golf hits a nearby man...
She rushes over to the man who is on the ground, rolling around screaming in pain with his hands between his legs.
She profusely apologizes and offers to relieve his pain since she is a doctor and reluctantly he agrees. She gently moves his hands to his sides and unzips his pants and puts her hands inside. She massages him tenderly for a few minutes and asks: "How does it feel?"
He replies: "It feels great but I still think my thumb is broken".
How do pizza makers make good money?
They are always rolling in dough.
As we were walking down the driveway with the cans, I asked my son, "Did you know there's no official training for garbage men?" Rolling his eyes, he responded, "No, no I didn't." I continued...
"Seriously, they just pick it up as they go along!"
