Rolex Watch Jokes
42 rolex watch jokes and hilarious rolex watch puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about rolex watch that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
Funniest Rolex Watch Short Jokes
Short rolex watch jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The rolex watch humour may include short wrist watch jokes also.
- My lesbian neighbours asked me what I wanted for my birthday. They gave me a Rolex. I think they misunderstood when I said I wanna watch.
- I was dropping my kids off at school when I saw a sign that said "Watch for Children." I'm going to miss them, but man this is a nice Rolex.
- A lesbian couple got their elderly neighbor a Rolex for his birthday... Upon opening it the man said, This is really nice, but I think you ladies misunderstood when I told you I wanna watch
- I should never have given my real email address to Rolex. Now I'm forever placed on some kind of watch list.
- My lesbian friends got me a Rolex for Christmas I don't think they understood when I said 'I wanna watch'
- This new Rolex that the lesbian couple next door got me for Christmas is nice and all... ...but I don't think they understood what I meant when I said "I wanna watch".
- What do you call a guy who puts a mushroom on his Rolex? I don't know, but he is a Fun guy to watch man.
- Why did the lesbian couple buy their neighbor a Rolex? Because he told them: "I wanna watch."
- One cop walked into a bar...and a bee sat on his recently bought Rolex What did the man say?
Not on my watch - The super nice lesbian couple at work got me a Rolex for Christmas. Obviously they didn't understand what I meant when I said I wanna watch
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Rolex Watch One Liners
Which rolex watch one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with rolex watch? I can suggest the ones about wristwatch and pocket watch.
- My uncle has 2 Dobermans called Rolex and Timex They are watch dogs
- My neighbor named his dog "Rolex"... He's a watch dog.
- Why does John Snow wear a Rolex ? Because he's a man of the nice watch
- I lost my super expensive watch. I just can't Rolex.
- Why do the newly rich like to buy Rolex watches? To know when it is time for a new wife.
- What did the millionaire's friend say when a person made fun of his watch just rolex man
- Home - Buy and Sell used Rolex Watches and Jewellery
Rolex Watch Funny Jokes And Hilarious Puns.
What funny jokes about rolex watch you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean apple watch jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make rolex watch pranks.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Wise Italian Grandfather.
Why Italian Fathers and Grandfathers pass their handguns down through the family.
An old Italian man is dying. He calls his grandson to his bedside, g**..., I wan' you lissina me. I wan' you to take-a my chrome plated ..38 revolver so you will always remember me."
"But grandpa, I really don't like guns.. How about you leave me your Rolex watch instead?"
"You lissina me, boy. Somma day you gonna be runna da business, you gonna have a beautiful wife, lotsa money, a big-a home and maybe a couple of bambinos. "
"Somma day you gonna come-a home and maybe finda you wife inna bed with another man.
"Whatta you gonna do then? Pointa to you watch and say, 'times up' "?
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
The Godfather
An old Italian man was dying, so he called his grandson to his bedside: g**..., I wan' you to lissina me. I wan' you to take-a my chrome plated .38 revolver so you will always remember me."
But grandpa, I really don't like guns... How about you leave me your Rolex watch instead?
You lissina me, boy. Somma day you gonna be runna da business. You gonna have a beautiful wife. Lotsa money. A big-a home and maybe a couple of bambinos.
Somma day you gonna come-a home and maybe finda you wife inna bed with another man.
Whatta you gonna do then? Pointa to you watch and say, 'Times up!'"?
Mary nursery rhyme
Mary had a little watch,
she swallowed it one day.
Then Mary took a laxative
to pass the time away.
Well, time went on and time went on,
and time still wouldn't pass.
So, if you want to know what time it is,
just look up Mary's ^brother ^in ^Omaha. ^He's ^got ^a ^Rolex.
I was visiting my blonde friend, who just adopted two new dogs...
I asked her what their names were.
She responded by saying that one was named Rolex and one was named Timex. I asked why she would ever name her dogs that. She answered "I needed some watch dogs"
Canine Names
A girl was visiting her blonde friend, who had acquired two new dogs, and asked her what their names were. The blonde responded by saying that one was named Rolex and one was named Timex.
Her friend said, "Whoever heard of someone naming dogs like that?"
"Isn't it obvious?" the second blonde responded. "They're watch dogs!"
A jew in his death bed and a Rolex
A jew in his death bed is surrounded by his family, ready to say farewell to their patriarch.
In his last moments, the jew takes something out of his pocket, calls his oldest son and says: "Yitzhak, here I have a 1935 Rolex Oyster Perpetual Chronometer."
"I see it daddy", answers the son
And then the old men continues, "This watch as with me during my whole life. It first belonged to my father's father, then to my father, and finally to me".
With tears in his eyes, the elder son replies, "It's a beautiful watch with a beautiful story, Daddy"
Finally, the jew with a proud look and feeling accomplished asks, "Wanna buy?"
Watch List
A guy is nervously pacing around his house. His brother sees this and asks, "What's wrong." The guy responds with, "I was online and now I think I'm on some sort of watch list." Concerned his brother asked, "What were you searching?" The guy looks at his brother and says, "Rolexes."
My lesbian neighbors got my a Rolex for Xmas
When they asked me what I wanted for Christmas I said "I wanna watch." They totally misheard me.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Wise Italian Grandfather
An old Italian man in Brooklyn is dying. He calls his grandson to his bedside, "g**..., I wan' you lissina me. I wan' you to take-a my chrome plated .38 revolver so you will always remember me."
"But grandpa, I really don't like guns. How about you leave me your Rolex watch instead?"
"You lissina me, boy! Somma day you gonna be runna da business, you gonna have a beautiful wife, lotsa money, a big-a home and maybe a couple of bambinos. "
"Somma day you gonna come-a home and maybe finda you wife inna bed with another man. Whatta you gonna do then? Pointa to you watch and say, 'Time's up!' "?
Dogs
Lady with three dogs opens door to salesman. Salesman trying to be friendly asks "What are the names of your dogs?"
Lady says "This is Timex, he's Boliva, and there is Rolex." Salesman says with surprise. "There all named after watches!" Lady says "Of course! Their all watch dogs! "
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
The l**... Nextdoor
The l**... nextdoor asked me what I wanted for Christmas.
I said I wanna watch.
I was disappointed when they bought me a Rolex.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
An old Italian man is dying and calls for his son
An old Italian man in Brooklyn is dying. He calls his grandson to his bedside.
"g**..., I wan' you lissina me. I wan' you to take-a my chrome plated 38 revolver so you will always remember me."
"But grandpa, I really don't like guns. How about you leave me your Rolex watch instead?"
"You lissina me, boy! Somma day you gonna be runna da business, you gonna have a beautiful wife, lotsa money, a big-a home and maybe a couple of bambinos. Then one-a day you gonna comea home and maybe finda you wife inna bed with another man. Whatda you gonna do then? Pointa to you watch and say, 'Times up!'
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
There's a lesbian couple that lives next door to me.
For christmas they bought me a Rolex. It seems they misunderstood when I said I wanna watch.
The lesbian couple upstairs
Got me a new Rolex for Christmas. I think they may have misunderstood when I told them I wanna watch.
The attractive lesbian couple across the street got me a very nice Rolex for Christmas...
I think they misunderstood when I told them "I wanna watch"
My lesbian neighbors gave me a Rolex for Christmas.
I think they misunderstood me when I said I wanna watch
(Sorry if this has been posted here before)
George loved to eat watches
Every day for breakfast, lunch, and dinner George would eat his favorite brand of watch.
Feeling fancy? A Rolex does the job better than any restaurant.
Special occasion? A grandfather clock would fit any event perfectly.
Going on a diet? Apple watches are the way to go!
His family didn't see it though, they thought he was crazy for his bizarre choice of food. They decided to stage in intervention in order to help him quit.
We're worried about you, George his wife said, you need to stop. This isn't good!
Well, I don't see what that problem is, George defended, tell me what's wrong with them!
Well, George, his sister interceded
They're just too time consuming
K-9 Names
Working in the city we work hand in hand with the city police.
So the other day I saw the Sergeant walking 2 new K-9s. I asked her their names and she points to 1 and says this is Rolex and this pointing to the other dog is Timex.
Now I thought that was strange so I said don't you think that's strange names for dogs?
She said no they are watch dogs.