Rolex Jokes
77 rolex jokes and hilarious rolex puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about rolex that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
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Funniest Rolex Short Jokes
Short rolex jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The rolex humour may include short wrist jokes also.
- My lesbian neighbours asked me what I wanted for my birthday. They gave me a Rolex. I think they misunderstood when I said I wanna watch.
- I was dropping my kids off at school when I saw a sign that said "Watch for Children." I'm going to miss them, but man this is a nice Rolex.
- A lesbian couple got their elderly neighbor a Rolex for his birthday... Upon opening it the man said, This is really nice, but I think you ladies misunderstood when I told you I wanna watch
- I should never have given my real email address to Rolex. Now I'm forever placed on some kind of watch list.
- My lesbian friends got me a Rolex for Christmas I don't think they understood when I said 'I wanna watch'
- This new Rolex that the lesbian couple next door got me for Christmas is nice and all... ...but I don't think they understood what I meant when I said "I wanna watch".
- If Rolex had an app on PC what would be Its file name? Rol.exe
Sorry for the trash pun, thought about it while walking in front of rolex - I recently bought a new Rolex and my son dropped it and broke it. Anyway,I am having a giveaway The kid is 9 years old, tall and cute.
- I traded five of my rolex wathces for a ballon animal... It really was a waste of time.
(Sorry for any bad english and what not, nord typing) - A lost & found note as a gesture of goodwill. Whoever lost a Rolex I report "the time now is 20 minutes after seven"
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Rolex One Liners
Which rolex one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with rolex? I can suggest the ones about clock and birthday.
- My uncle has 2 Dobermans called Rolex and Timex They are watch dogs
- I bought a new dog yesterday. I've named him Rolex…….he's a watchdog
- My neighbor named his dog "Rolex"... He's a watch dog.
- How do you recognize a rich Ethiopian? He wears a Rolex around his waist.
- Why does John Snow wear a Rolex ? Because he's a man of the nice watch
- I lost my super expensive watch. I just can't Rolex.
- Lost my Rolex during a roller coaster ride Time flies when you're having fun
- How do you know if an Ethiopian is rich? They have a Rolex around their waist.
- Why do the newly rich like to buy Rolex watches? To know when it is time for a new wife.
- How do Arabs laugh? Rolex on the floor laughing
- What did the millionaire's friend say when a person made fun of his watch just rolex man
- Why did Jon Snow become a spokesman for Rolex? For the time piece.
- Home - Buy and Sell used Rolex Watches and Jewellery
- How do you spot a rich Ethiopian? By the Rolex around his waist.
Rolex Watch Jokes
Here is a list of funny rolex watch jokes and even better rolex watch puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- What do you call a guy who puts a mushroom on his Rolex? I don't know, but he is a Fun guy to watch man.
- Why did the lesbian couple buy their neighbor a Rolex? Because he told them: "I wanna watch."
- One cop walked into a bar...and a bee sat on his recently bought Rolex What did the man say?
Not on my watch - The super nice lesbian couple at work got me a Rolex for Christmas. Obviously they didn't understand what I meant when I said I wanna watch
- My lesbian neighbors gave me a Rolex for Christmas. I think they misunderstood me when I said I wanna watch
(Sorry if this has been posted here before) - The attractive lesbian couple across the street got me a very nice Rolex for Christmas... I think they misunderstood when I told them "I wanna watch"
- The lesbian couple upstairs Got me a new Rolex for Christmas. I think they may have misunderstood when I told them I wanna watch.
- My lesbian neighbors got my a Rolex for Xmas When they asked me what I wanted for Christmas I said "I wanna watch." They totally misheard me.
Entertaining Rolex Jokes to Laugh Out Loud Fun with Everyone
What funny jokes about rolex you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean wristwatch jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make rolex pranks.
These dogs
A man was walking his two dogs.
Someone asked, "What are their names?"
Man replied, "Rolex and Omega!" "Wow! I have never heard those names for dogs.
Man said "These are watchdogs.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Wise Italian Grandfather.
Why Italian Fathers and Grandfathers pass their handguns down through the family.
An old Italian man is dying. He calls his grandson to his bedside, g**..., I wan' you lissina me. I wan' you to take-a my chrome plated ..38 revolver so you will always remember me."
"But grandpa, I really don't like guns.. How about you leave me your Rolex watch instead?"
"You lissina me, boy. Somma day you gonna be runna da business, you gonna have a beautiful wife, lotsa money, a big-a home and maybe a couple of bambinos. "
"Somma day you gonna come-a home and maybe finda you wife inna bed with another man.
"Whatta you gonna do then? Pointa to you watch and say, 'times up' "?
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
The Godfather
An old Italian man was dying, so he called his grandson to his bedside: g**..., I wan' you to lissina me. I wan' you to take-a my chrome plated .38 revolver so you will always remember me."
But grandpa, I really don't like guns... How about you leave me your Rolex watch instead?
You lissina me, boy. Somma day you gonna be runna da business. You gonna have a beautiful wife. Lotsa money. A big-a home and maybe a couple of bambinos.
Somma day you gonna come-a home and maybe finda you wife inna bed with another man.
Whatta you gonna do then? Pointa to you watch and say, 'Times up!'"?
Mary nursery rhyme
Mary had a little watch,
she swallowed it one day.
Then Mary took a laxative
to pass the time away.
Well, time went on and time went on,
and time still wouldn't pass.
So, if you want to know what time it is,
just look up Mary's ^brother ^in ^Omaha. ^He's ^got ^a ^Rolex.
I was visiting my blonde friend, who just adopted two new dogs...
I asked her what their names were.
She responded by saying that one was named Rolex and one was named Timex. I asked why she would ever name her dogs that. She answered "I needed some watch dogs"
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
My lesbian friend asked what I wanted for my birthday...
... All I got was this s**... rolex!
Canine Names
A girl was visiting her blonde friend, who had acquired two new dogs, and asked her what their names were. The blonde responded by saying that one was named Rolex and one was named Timex.
Her friend said, "Whoever heard of someone naming dogs like that?"
"Isn't it obvious?" the second blonde responded. "They're watch dogs!"
A jew in his death bed and a Rolex
A jew in his death bed is surrounded by his family, ready to say farewell to their patriarch.
In his last moments, the jew takes something out of his pocket, calls his oldest son and says: "Yitzhak, here I have a 1935 Rolex Oyster Perpetual Chronometer."
"I see it daddy", answers the son
And then the old men continues, "This watch as with me during my whole life. It first belonged to my father's father, then to my father, and finally to me".
With tears in his eyes, the elder son replies, "It's a beautiful watch with a beautiful story, Daddy"
Finally, the jew with a proud look and feeling accomplished asks, "Wanna buy?"
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Wise Italian Grandfather
An old Italian man in Brooklyn is dying. He calls his grandson to his bedside, "g**..., I wan' you lissina me. I wan' you to take-a my chrome plated .38 revolver so you will always remember me."
"But grandpa, I really don't like guns. How about you leave me your Rolex watch instead?"
"You lissina me, boy! Somma day you gonna be runna da business, you gonna have a beautiful wife, lotsa money, a big-a home and maybe a couple of bambinos. "
"Somma day you gonna come-a home and maybe finda you wife inna bed with another man. Whatta you gonna do then? Pointa to you watch and say, 'Time's up!' "?
I bought a Rolex before trying & failing at stand up comedy.
Apparently you need more than impeccable timing.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
An Italian mobster gives his son a Beretta for his 18th birthday. "Carry it everywhere" he says as he hands it to him.
The next day, the son comes home without the gun, but is sporting a brand new Rolex on his wrist. The father asks him:
"Sona, where is the guna I gave you"
"I traded it ina for a Rolexa" says his son.
"YOU STUPIDA FOOLA!!" yells his dad "One day you will hopefully hava wifa. Imagine coming homa and seeing her n**... in your beda with your best frienda. What are you gonna say, it's a quarter to sixa????"
Getting a portrait painted.
An elderly woman decided to have her portrait painted. She told
the artist, Paint me with diamond earrings, a diamond necklace,
emerald bracelets, a ruby broach, and a gold Rolex.
But you are not wearing any of those things, replied the artist.
I know, she said. It's in case I should die before my husband. I'm sure he will remarry right away, and I want his new wife to go crazy looking for the jewelry.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
gay prostate exam joke
a gay man goes in to get a prostate exam.
he is told to bend over when the doctor starts to examine his prostate.
the man says to the doctor:
"please t**... ring, it's hurting me"
the doctor says:
"That's not my ring. that's my rolex!"
Dogs
Lady with three dogs opens door to salesman. Salesman trying to be friendly asks "What are the names of your dogs?"
Lady says "This is Timex, he's Boliva, and there is Rolex." Salesman says with surprise. "There all named after watches!" Lady says "Of course! Their all watch dogs! "
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
The l**... Nextdoor
The l**... nextdoor asked me what I wanted for Christmas.
I said I wanna watch.
I was disappointed when they bought me a Rolex.
Why buy a real Rolex when you can get a replica from China for $30?
Because you can get one for $20 in Vietnam!
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
An old Italian man is dying and calls for his son
An old Italian man in Brooklyn is dying. He calls his grandson to his bedside.
"g**..., I wan' you lissina me. I wan' you to take-a my chrome plated 38 revolver so you will always remember me."
"But grandpa, I really don't like guns. How about you leave me your Rolex watch instead?"
"You lissina me, boy! Somma day you gonna be runna da business, you gonna have a beautiful wife, lotsa money, a big-a home and maybe a couple of bambinos. Then one-a day you gonna comea home and maybe finda you wife inna bed with another man. Whatda you gonna do then? Pointa to you watch and say, 'Times up!'
My lesbian neighbors bought me a new Rolex for my birthday.
I'm more of an Omega guy myself, but it was still a nice gesture.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
There's a lesbian couple that lives next door to me.
For christmas they bought me a Rolex. It seems they misunderstood when I said I wanna watch.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
My lesbian neighbors invited me to their house for Christmas night
I swear to God, all I ever asked for was a new Rolex
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
My lesbian neighbors gave me a Rolex.
I asked why they gave me such a nice gift, and they said "Because you haven't been upvoting the terrible lesbian neighbor jokes on Reddit."
George loved to eat watches
Every day for breakfast, lunch, and dinner George would eat his favorite brand of watch.
Feeling fancy? A Rolex does the job better than any restaurant.
Special occasion? A grandfather clock would fit any event perfectly.
Going on a diet? Apple watches are the way to go!
His family didn't see it though, they thought he was crazy for his bizarre choice of food. They decided to stage in intervention in order to help him quit.
We're worried about you, George his wife said, you need to stop. This isn't good!
Well, I don't see what that problem is, George defended, tell me what's wrong with them!
Well, George, his sister interceded
They're just too time consuming
Material Guy
A guy crashes his new sports car and when the police arrive, he is crying Oh my god, my gorgeous Ferrari!
The police officer tells him that material possessions are the least of his troubles, considering his left arm was severed as well.
The guy looks down where his arm used to be and wails Oh, my god, my precious Rolex!
K-9 Names
Working in the city we work hand in hand with the city police.
So the other day I saw the Sergeant walking 2 new K-9s. I asked her their names and she points to 1 and says this is Rolex and this pointing to the other dog is Timex.
Now I thought that was strange so I said don't you think that's strange names for dogs?
She said no they are watch dogs.
