rodent Jokes

funny pick up lines and hilarious rodent puns

It's pretty disgusting how celebrity parents name their children after cooked rodent.

Poor Chris Pratt

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I once had my wallet stolen by a rodent who didn't know his father.

That rat bastard took all my money.

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What do rodents do after dinner?

Gopher a walk.

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Where do rodents get high?

In Hamsterdam.

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I invented a sandwich made with rodent meat.

I call it the Mickey Mouse Club.

Comes with chips.

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What do you call a Spanish rodent, that's always asking questions?

A porquepine.

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I like to write lyrics in my spare time.

This led to me finding out my cousin was dyslexic when I messaged him asking if he would rate a rap and he responded by sexually molesting a rodent.

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Donald Trump and Kim Jong Un are out to brunch in a small town...

A suprised waiter finds them and says "Gee goly, what an honor to meet you." He looks about like a nervous rodent and asks "what are you guys doing here of all places?"
Trump says "We're gonna start WWIII. We're gonna kill a lot of innocent civilians and we're gonna kill a blonde with big tits.
Shocked, the waiter asks "Why kill the blonde?"
Kim laughs and says "See? I told you no one would worry about the civilians.

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[OC] What do you call a rodent that sells illegal guns?

An Armadealer

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I was sexually assaulted by a colourful Rodent today!!!

His name was 'Hue Mongoose'

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What do you call a sea fairing rodent that likes pastries?

A pie rat

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What's the most private rodent?

The anony-mouse

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Chris Pratt is such a burnt rodent...

Chris P-Ratt.

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What do you call a singing rodent that lives in a dam?

Just-a Beaver

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what do you call a rodent that smokes weed?

A Hemp-ster

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Animal joke

"What does a tunneling rodent decide to do on 4th down of a football game? Gopher it!"

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What's the most monstrous rodent of them all?

The Chinzilla.

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[Actually OC] What are rodent wizards afraid of?

Voldemort

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What do you call a Mexican rodent with a penchant for attention?

Needy Gonzalez

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What do you call a rodent film director who makes great genre films?

Martin Squirrelsese.

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A rodent and a saxophone walk into a bar.

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What do you call a rodent looking elf that lives on an ice bank?

Ice Bank Mice Elf

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Which of the rodents are great at maths?

the Pirats

(I'm sorry)

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TIL a domesticated rodent won the Powerball lottery.

Experts are saying he had about a 1 in gerbillion chance of winning.

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What rodents can be found in Berlin?

GERbils

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What do you call a one eared rodent?

Vincent Van Gopher

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What's the shittiest rodent in the world?

A Crapybara

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What do you call a rodent with babies?

A quad*rat*ic parent.

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What do rodents with an inclination towards mathematics use for their auctioning needs?

thepiratebay

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Why did Arnold show up at the rodent infested house?

Because he is an ex-Terminator.

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Groundhogs

Constipation is a bit like watching for groundhogs on Groundhog Day. You know spring is coming early, but that reclusive rodent is nowhere to be seen.

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Fat Rodent

What do you call a fat rodent?

A Porky-pine!

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In which name of a nasty gnawing rodent do you find the letter combination "ebe?"

Justin Bieber

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What did the Jazz singer say when he found rodent poop in his basement?

Rat scat didilly poo bop!

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What do u get when u give a rodent date rape drugs?

Mickey Mouse

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What are the most funny Rodent jokes of all time ?

Did you ever wanted to stand out with a good sense of humour joking with someone about Rodent? Well, here are the best Rodent dad jokes to laugh out loud. Crazy funny puns and Rodent pick up lines to share with friends.

Joko Jokes