Experience Instant Grins & Giggles with Playful Rod Jokes
Dating is a lot like fishing
Sure, there's plenty of fish in the sea. But until i catch one, I'm just stuck here holding my rod.
With relationships, they say there's plenty of fish in the sea...
But I'm just stuck here holding my rod
They say that there are plenty of fish in the sea.
But until I catch one, I'm just going to be sitting here, holding my rod.
The rain was pouring and there was a big puddle in front of the pub.
A ragged old man was standing there with a rod and hanging a string into the puddle.
A curious gentleman came over and asked what he was doing. "Fishing", the old man said simply. "Poor old fool", the gentleman thought, and he invited the ragged old man to a drink in the pub.
He felt he should start some conversation while they were sipping their whiskey, so he asked the old man, "and how many have you caught?"
"You're the eighth", the old man answered.
Finding a girlfriend is a lot like fishing...
There are plenty of fish in the sea, but it's just you holding your rod until you catch one.
A Russian and a Ukrainian go fishing together. They catch a talking goldfish, and she grants them 3 wishes if they let her go
The Russian says: we used my fishing rod, so I get first 2 wishes.
First: I want all the *insert some racial slurs* out of my glorious country.
Second: I want a big wall around Russia, nobody can cross.
Then Ukrainian has a dialogue with the fish
- Is the wall done?
- Yes
- Is it strong and durable?
- Yes
- Nobody can climb it?
- Nobody
- And nobody but moscovites inside?
- Yes
- Great! Then fill it up with s**... up to the edges
What do you call two guys above a window?
Kurt and Rod
There's plenty more fish in the sea
But until I catch one I'm left here holding my rod.
Two fellas are fishing in a boat under a bridge.
One looks up and sees a f**... procession starting across the bridge.
He stands up, takes off his cap, and bows his head.
The procession crosses the bridge and the man puts on his cap, picks up his rod and reel, and continues fishing.
The other guy says, "That was touching. I didn't know you had it in you."
The first guy responds, "Well, I guess it was the thing to do - after all, I was married to her for 40 years."
There's plenty of fish in the sea(fixed)
But until I find one I'm just stuck holding my rod
Fishing & girlfriends
Fishing and girlfriends are exactly alike, there may be plenty of fish in the sea, but until i find one, i'm stuck here holding my rod
You can explore rod lures reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean rod keith dad jokes. There are also rod puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.
Why do priests love to go fishing with kids?
So they have someone to hold their rod.
Two men are fishing from a bridge...
When one man notices a f**... procession. He quietly sets down his fishing rod, takes of his hat and bows his head. When the procession is out of sight he picks up his pole and continues fishing. The other man turns to him and says, "wow. I never knew you had a feely side in you" to which the first man replies, "it's the least I could've done, afterall, we have been married for forty years."
What sound does a red metal rod make when it hits a white metal rod?
*PINK!*
A Russian and a Ukrainian go fishing together. They catch a talking goldfish, and she grants them 3 wishes if they let her go
The Russian Says: We Used My Fishing Rod, So I Get First 2 Wishes.
First: I Want All The Capitalists Out Of My Glorious Country.
Second: I Want A Big Wall Around Russia, Nobody Can Cross.
Then Ukrainian Has A Dialogue With The Fish
- Is The Wall Done?
- Yes
- Is It Strong And Durable?
- Yes
- Nobody Can Climb It?
- Nobody
- And Nobody But Moscovites Inside?
- Yes
- Great! Then Fill It Up With s**... Up To The Edges
What do you call two guys holding up drapery?
Kurt and Rod
Girlfriends and fishing are similar
There are many fish in the sea, but till you hook one, you're just holding your rod.
Most people tell me there are many fish in the sea.
So till i catch one imma play with my rod
Engineers
One day, a mechanical engineer, electrical engineer, chemical engineer, and computer engineer were driving down the street in the same car when it broke down. The mechanical engineer said, "I think a rod broke." The chemical engineer said, "The way it sputtered at the end, I think it's not getting enough gas." The electrical engineer said, "I think there was a spark and something's wrong with the electrical system." All three turned to the computer engineer and said, "What do you think?" The computer engineer said, "I think we should all get out and then get back in."
Why couldn't the lightning rod go play with its friends?
Because it was grounded.
Have you heard the joke about the steel rod?
No? Let metal you.
What do you call two men hanging from a window?
Kurt n Rod
What do you get if you mix plutonium with a fishing rod?
Nuclear fission
How are welders like prostitutes?
You usually find them in awkward positions screaming for more rod and more money.
What is the fastest speed a woman can go ?
68, because when she turns 69 she blows a rod.
I was told that you catch more fish if you put maggots in your mouth for 5m before attaching them to your rod. Is this true?
I await your replies with baited breath.
There are plenty of fish in the sea...
...and they're easy to catch if you've got a big rod.
Heard this conversation passing by in college today.
Guy: Do you know why I'm such a good fisherman?
Girl: No why?
Guy: Because I've got a nice rod and I hook all the ladies with it.
Girl: I figured it was because you were a master baiter
What do you call two tall skinny guys looking out a window?
Curt n' Rod
Icefishing
An ice fisher makes a hole in the ice, puts his fishing rod in and suddenly he hears a voice "There are no fish here".
So he moves a bit further away, makes another hold, puts his lure in and hears again "There are no fish here".
He looks up and asks "God? Is that you"
The voice grumbles "No, d**..., I'm the ice rink groundskeeper".
Jane couldn't quite work out why she didn't like her husband's new hobby.
But as he grabbed his bait and rod for the fifth day in row, she new it seemed fishy.
A boyfriend is ending it up with his girlfriend on the phone......
Him: Babe, I'm breaking off with you. Your father threatened me yesterday.
Her: oh no! What did he say to you?
Him: he said "If you see my daughter ever again, I'll get a 12 inch iron rod and heat up half of it red hot and put the cold half up your a**..."
Her: why the cold half??
Him: so I won't be able to take it out!!
Why is s**... limited to 68mph?
At 69 you flip over and blow a rod.
How fast can a woman drive?
68 mph, because at 69 they flip over and blow a rod
What do you get when you cross an oven with a car?
A hot rod.
NOTE: When I was about 5, I thought this was the funniest joke on earth.
I lost my pizza cutter so I tried to use an old Rod Stewart CD instead.
It worked all right at first, but the plastic edge got dull right away. The first cut was the deepest.
My car can only go 68...
if it goes 69 the engine blows a rod.
What do you call twin boys with no arms and no legs hanging from a window?
Kurt and Rod
What do you call two guys hanging on a window sill?
Curt n Rod
There's plenty of fish in the sea they say.
Until I catch one, I'm just stuck here holding my rod
The speed limit of s**... is 68 mph.
At 69 you flip over and blow a rod.
Cheating!!!!
Rod's Wife and Rod Started dieting a week ago.
She proposed that they should have a cheat day today...
She brought home a burger & Rod brought home his Secretary..
From his hospital bed, Rod is wondering when men will ever begin to understand women.😀😜😀😜
So they say there are plenty of fish in the sea...
and yet here I am still playing with my rod.
Updoot for blue cheese day! Yayy
Fishing and girlfriends are exactly alike.
There may be plenty of fish in the sea, but until I find one, I'm stuck here holding my rod.
What do you call 2 men t**... strapped to a window
Kurt n Rod
What did the thunderstorm say to the lightning rod?
You'll never catch me copper!
Someone broke into Alex Rodriguez's house and beat his wife with a pole.
Actually it was A Rod
Give a man a fish; he eats for a day. Give a man a fishing rod...
He chokes on the wood
What is the fastest speed you can have s**...?
68 Mph, because once you hit 69...someone blows a rod
What do you call two brothers hanging on your window?
Curt and Rod...
A crook walks into a bait and tackle store and sees the cashier is blind.
She asks him for a 50 dollar fishing rod, and he walks over and shows it to her. Then she thanks him and sticks a 100 dollar rod into her cart.
But the blind man isn't s**..., and when she rings it up, he feels the rod and he says "that will be 100 dollars for the fishing rod."
the woman is so embarassed at being caught stealing she rips a loud one.
"and that will be $5.89 for the duck call and $3.29 for the musk scent"
My friend told me of this fish...
My friend told me of this amazing kind of fish, he said it was impossible to catch! He said it broke the string on his rod! I've never seen it. I've fished for days and days... Nothing. You know? I'm starting to think that it's not reel.
What's the difference between a nuclear reactor and a woman?
Inserting a rod into the reactor turns it off.
(adult) What's the max Top Speed a girl can have s**...?
68mph.
Because any faster she'll flip over and blow a rod.
*Wonder how many "hi my name is rod" replies..
What do you call a man who owns a fishing store?
Rod.
What do you call his wife?
Annette.
What do you call a married couple that go fishing together?
Rod and Annet.
Who isn't white or black but shows you no color?
A Rod
What do you get when you cross a fishing rod with mud?
a dirty h**...
My two friends Rod and Kurt started a business the other day...
You should look it up, it's called Kurt and Rod's Curtain Rods.
What did the curtain rod say to the blinds?
Nice shades.
(sorry)
I was TAing an electrostatics lab.
The experiment was to see what happens when you rub wool on a bunch of rods of different materials and then bring the rods near scraps of paper. One student's lab report had this observation on what happens when you try to electrostatically charge up a metal rod and bring it near paper: paper remains stationery
Man walks into a rod
He doesn't understand comedy
She was only the fisherman's daughter
But when she saw my rod, she reeled.
A few nights after his wives f**..., Edward woke up stiff as a rod.
Mourning wood.
Original
Why can't gay people drive past 68?
Because at 69 they blow a rod.
Why do commercial fishermen use nets?
With only a rod you lose a fish in sea.
s**... is like fishing...
You gotta know how to handle the rod!
My car tops out at 68 Mph...
Because at 69 it blows a rod.
We truly are living in an alternate timeline.
I was sure the Deputy District Attorney's name was Rod Rosen**stain**.
There are many fish in the sea.
So while waiting I'll just play with my rod.
m**... is a lot like master-baiting.
If you can't figure out the fly, your rod isn't gonna be seeing any action.
If Benjamin Franklin had been a parachutist ...
He would never thought about inventing the lightning rod.
One you haven't heard- What do you call twins with no arms and no legs, hanging by a window?
Curt 'n Rod
Why is 68 the speed limit of s**...?
Because at 69 you flip over and blow a rod.
