The Best 14 Rocking Chairs Jokes

Following is our collection of funny Rocking Chairs jokes. There are some rocking chairs sit jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud.

Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these rocking chairs rockin puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.

Top 10 of the Funniest Rocking Chairs Jokes and Puns

A woman walked up to a little old man rocking in a chair on his porch...

"I couldn't help noticing how happy you look," she said. "What's your secret for a long happy life?"

"I smoke three packs of cigarettes a day," he said. "I also drink a case of whiskey a week, eat fatty foods, and never exercise."

"That's amazing," the woman said. "How old are you?'

"Twenty-six."

Every day as i walk to the bus stop I speak with a 93 year old man with alzheimers who sits on his rocking chair looking over his yard with a concerned expression.

He musters his strength and calls out to me "hey.. have y-you seen m-my wife?" And every day i have to tell him "I'm so sorry.. your wife has passed away 10 years ago". Ive considered not telling him but my mornings always feel better after I see the look of sheer joy on his face.

Secret to Long Life

A woman walked up to a little old man rocking in a chair on his porch. "I couldn't help noticing how happy you look," she said. "What's your secret for a long happy life?"
"I smoke three packs of cigarettes a day," he said. "I also drink a case of whiskey a week, eat fatty foods, and never exercise."
"That's amazing," said the woman, "how old are you?"
"Twenty-six," he said.

Rocking Chairs joke, Secret to Long Life

Grandpa's Rocking Chair

A man came to visit his grandparents, and he noticed his grandfather sitting on the porch in the rocking chair wearing only a shirt, with nothing on from the waist down.
'Grandpa, what are you doing? Your goober is out in the wind for everyone to see!' he exclaimed.
The old man slowly looked at him and said,
'Well....last week I sat out here with no shirt on and I got a stiff neck. This is your grandma's idea.'

Stiff....

A man was walking down the street when he noticed his grandpa sitting on the porch in a rocking chair, with nothing on from the waist down.
"Grandpa, what are you doing?" he exclaimed.
The old man looked off in the distance and did not answer him.
"Grandpa, what are you doing sitting out here with no pants on?" he asked again.
The old man slyly looked at him and said, "Well last week I sat out here with no shirt on, and I got a stiff neck. This was your Grandma`s idea!"


60 Years of Marriage

An old couple in their 80's are sitting in their rocking chairs on the front porch enjoying the day. Suddenly the wife reaches over and just slaps her husband across the face.

Flabergasted he looks at her and says "what was that for?"

She responds "that's for 60 years of bad sex"

They continue to rocking on the porch.

A few minutes later the husband reaches over and smacks his wife hard enough that it knocks her out of her chair onto the porch.

With tears in her eyes she asks "what was that for?"

Her husband replies "that's for knowing the difference."

A man is walking down the street, when he notices that his grandfather is sitting on the porch in a rocking chair, with nothing on from the waist down.

"Grandpa, what are you doing?" the man exclaims. The old man looks off in the distance and does not answer his grandson. "Grandpa, what are you doing sitting out here with nothing on below the waist?" he asks again. The old man slyly looks at him and says, "Well, last week I sat out here with no shirt on, and I got a stiff neck. This was your Grandma's idea!"

Rocking Chairs joke, A man is walking down the street, when he notices that his grandfather is sitting on the porch in a

I spend the mornings in my rocking chair, and in the afternoon I go out in my wheelchair.

I've got a real rock 'n' roll lifestyle.

An old married could sitting on their rocking chairs out on the porch watching the sunset...

Rocking away enjoying the sunset, when the woman takes her cane and suddenly smacks the old man on the leg.

"Hey... what was that for?" he protests

"For 60 years of bad sex!" she says.

They go back to rocking.

A few moments later he takes his cane and smacks her on the leg.

"Hey... what was that for?" she cries.

"That's for knowing the difference!"

Oral Roberts dies and goes to heaven.

As he gets to the
pearly gates, St.Peter says, "Next." He replies, "Oral
Roberts." "The Oral Roberts?" "Yes St Peter, the Oral
Roberts." St. Peter says, "Wait here a minute. I know someone
anxious to meet you." He goes away for a few minutes and comes
back with a guy on his arm. "Jesus,this is Oral Roberts." "The
Oral Roberts?" Oral says, "Yes Lord, the Oral Roberts!" Jesus
says, "Boy come with me. I know someone that has been waiting
to see you for years." So Jesus leads him into a small room.
Over in the corner is an old man sitting in a rocking
chair. Jesus says, "Hey dad, this is Oral Roberts." "The Oral
Roberts?" Oral says in a very humble voice, "Yes my Lord. The
Oral Roberts.."
God says, "Boy I've been waiting years to see you. Could
you come over here and take a look at my knee. It's been
bothering me for years......."

In Vermont an old man is sitting in his rocking chair on his porch, quietly smoking a pipe.

A tourist who is staying at a nearby B&B passes by every day for a week, and whenever he passes, the man is just sitting there in his rocking chair quietly smoking his pipe.

One day the tourist cannot refrain from asking the old man: "Say, have you been sitting here all your life, doing nothing but smoking your pipe?"

Says the old man: "Not yet!"

You can explore rocking chairs sofa reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean rocking chairs comfortably dad jokes. There are also rocking chairs puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.


Q: Why did the old woman put roller skates on her rocking chair?
A: Because she wanted to rock and roll.

My best friend's a rocking chair...

...we go way back.

The Rolling Stones are so old.....

that nowadays only their chairs are rocking.

Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the rocking chairs cushion jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, are mean or racist, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become bullying and inappropriate.

We suggest to use only working rocking chairs drags piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.

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