Rocket Jokes

147 rocket jokes and hilarious rocket puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about rocket that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.

Brighten up your day with this collection of hilarious rocket jokes! From Rocket League to Rocket Science and Rocket Ship, you'll be sure to find a laugh in these rocket and astronaut-related puns. So join us and skyrocket your way to giggles with these rocket jokes!

Funniest Rocket Short Jokes

Short rocket jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The rocket humour may include short orbit jokes also.

  1. What did the American rocket say to the soviet rocket in space. Good we're alone now we can speak German.
  2. Of Course the Moon Landings Were Staged I've never heard of a single staged rocket going to the moon.
  3. I recently lost my job at NASA Mission Control... I misheard when someone said "It's lunch time", and sent a rocket up with nobody in it.
  4. I wish Johnny Rockets would stop claiming to be an authentic 40s diner... ... I see black people eating there All the time.
  5. I've just sold some glass rockets to Kim Jong Un. I hope he's pleased with his new, clear weapons.
  6. I caught my neighbor attaching a rocket engine to a deer, so I immediately reported him to the authorities... Shame on him for trying to make a quick buck!
  7. Elon Musk is reported to have written a short joke on his Falcon Heavy rocket. I guess the real joke is in the comets.
  8. Why didn't NASA name apollo rockets with letters? Because if Apollo F crashed with all it's crew, they would have to make an Apollo G.
  9. If you're trying to figure out what rocket scientists do on their day off It's not rocket science
  10. Why did NASA cancel the all-female spacewalk? None of them would go outside the rocket wearing the same outfit.

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Rocket One Liners

Which rocket one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with rocket? I can suggest the ones about jets and launch.

  1. I hate it when people get simple stuff wrong I mean, it's not rocket surgery
  2. How do you get a baby astronaut to sleep? You rocket
  3. How are the Houston Rockets just like Metapod? All they've got is Harden
  4. What's fast, loud and crunchy ? A rocket chip
  5. I waited an hour for my starter so I complained: 'It's not rocket salad.
  6. The first potato to go to space was carried by the rocket Nick Or, well, Spudnick
  7. The moon landing was staged The rocket they used had multiple stages
  8. Why did the Russians lose the space race? Their rocket kept Stalin!
  9. How do you put a baby alien to sleep? You rocket
  10. Why was the rocket hungry? It was almost launch time.
  11. Is it hard to get a degree in hocking loogies? Well, it's snot rocket science.
  12. What do Ukrainians say before they shoot a rocket? BLASTOV!
  13. What do you call a bee in a space rocket? bracket
  14. Where do you file uncategorized rocket items? Under missile-enious.
  15. How do you put a spaceship to sleep? You rocket

Rocket Launch Jokes

Here is a list of funny rocket launch jokes and even better rocket launch puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • Pakistan launches a rocket to Moon. Pakistani News channel reports: "Water and fishes found on Moon."
    BBC reports: "Pakistani satellite found in Arab sea."
  • So there's two astronauts on a rocket... One says to the other, "Get Ready, it's almost time for launch." To which the other says "Launch?! I haven't even had breakfast yet!"
  • You may not be aware of it, but NASA conducted an experiment during the Apollo mission days. They launched a collection of cows into orbit on a prototype rocket.
    It was a herd shot round the world.
  • The Kardashians are all in a rocket set to launch, you can press a button to stop the launch. Would you order a cheese or pepperoni pizza?
  • At what time in the day do rockets eat and why? At noon because they take LAUNCH.
  • What happens to a rocket when it doesn't launch? It gets fired.
  • If North Korea released a rocket launch blooper video... It'd be a feature-length film
  • I would tell a rocket joke... But I don't wanna launch myself into that conversation.
  • Why do some people think the falcon heavy launch was fake? Well, the rocket WAS staged
  • When is Kim Jong Un going to launch his rocket? I think it's gonna be a long long time.

Rocket Launched Jokes

Here is a list of funny rocket launched jokes and even better rocket launched puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • How do NASA organize rocket launches They planet
  • where did elon musk launch his falcon 9 rocket ship? into uranus
  • America,India,Russia and China decided to make a rocket.. America build the engine ,India build the structure and russia made the Launch platform.China branded it. MADE IN CHINA.
  • I read that India launched a rocket to Mars the other day.
    That seems like a strange place to put a call center.
  • When I die I'm going to get put in a rocket and be launched into the moon. That way my descendants can look at the c**... site and see the impact I've made.
  • What did the Iranian Space Monkey say when the rocket launched? "HOOOLY s**...'ITE!"
Rocket joke, What did the Iranian Space Monkey say when the rocket launched?

Rocket Scientist Jokes

Here is a list of funny rocket scientist jokes and even better rocket scientist puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • Why do Scarecrows Make Great Rocket Scientists? ...because they're out-standing in their field!
  • Height matters For example, a difference in how high the rocket flew determined the years the scientists spent in a labor camp.
  • Mechanical engineers They're not rocket scientists but they are sprocket scientists.
  • Rocket Scientists really know how to... Rock it out!
  • Did hear about the hipster that became a rocket scientist? He only wanted to work on retrorockets.
  • I know I'll never be a rocket scientist... because the amount of math they have to do is astronomical and I'm not very stellar at it.
  • If you did research and testing on a specific type of Lettuce... ...does that make you a Rocket Scientist?
  • My friend genetically modifies salad. He's a rocket scientist
  • Who is the saddest rocket scientist? Werner von Fraun
  • What do you call a h**... from a rocket scientist? A s**... of genius.

Rocket Science Jokes

Here is a list of funny rocket science jokes and even better rocket science puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • Can anyone help me with starting a rocket science club at school? I'm having trouble getting it off the ground.
  • I'm an aerospace engineer. I'm an aerospace engineer. If I had a dollar for every time I heard "it IS rocket science..." it still wouldn't be as much as my salary. Take that liberal arts majors.
  • What did one sub-orbital jet propulsion engineer say to the other? This ain't exactly rocket science.
  • 99% of humanity Works on the principle of rocket science. It does not mean , we always aim for the sky;
    it means that we do not start work unless our tail is on fire.
  • The astrophysics class I wanted to take filled up. Now I need to figure out what other course will work for my schedule and major. It's not rocket science.
  • You think it's difficult to plug one nostril and blow out the other? It's snot rocket science.
  • Chuck Norris took a rocket science class but quit becaus it was too easy.
  • Why is the situation in Gaza so hard to figure out? Because it's rocket science!
  • The common phrase to express somethings simplicity is "its not rocket science...". But what do rocket scientists say to each other? "Come on Doug, its not.....s**...."

Rocket League Jokes

Here is a list of funny rocket league jokes and even better rocket league puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • What is Kim Jong Un's favorite video game? Rocket League
  • I am a muslim and i beat my wife daily In Rocket League. She is a terrible player.
Rocket joke, I am a muslim and i beat my wife daily

Gather Around for Heartwarming Rocket Jokes and Uplifting Humor

What funny jokes about rocket you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean hawk jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make rocket pranks.

What was the motto of the German rocket program?

Shoot for the moon. Even if you miss you'll hit London.

The Americans are using a new type of rocket that constantly updates its Facebook status until it reaches its target.

It's an attention-seeking missile.

Say what you will about h**......

...but their education system is top notch. Over 90% of the children in Gaza become "Rocket Scientists".

This will ruin some of your childhoods. How did Reggie Rocket's brother die?

Otto Rocket Asphyxiation

The secret of recent e**... of Antares rocket

The decades old Soviet rocket engines it used were engineered to fly TO America, not AWAY from it.

The best jokes also teach you something.

In 1954 John Stapp broke a huge record. Using a rocket powered sled that was going 632 mph, he came to a full stop in just over 1 second. He experienced 46.2 G's making his 168 pound body feel for an instant like it was 7,700 pounds and he STILL only felt half as fat as yo mamma.

A five year old just made up this joke.

Q: Why do astronauts eat so fast?
A: Because they're on a rocket ship. Duh.

Muslim Band

I went to see a Muslim Tribute band last night at a Mosque.
They were called "Bomb Jovi" and I thought they were brilliant.
They performed songs like:
"Losing my Head over You",
"Rocket Launcher Man",
"You're Six, you're Beautiful, and you're Mine".
Their last song "Living on a Prayer Mat" almost brought the house down!
Then I heard this Muslim guy saying he had the entire Koran on a DVD.
I was interested, so I asked him, "Can you burn me a copy?"
Well that was when the trouble started.

What do you call an object used as seating that can fly?

A rocket lawn-chair.

What does Team Rocket and a Peeping tom have in common?

They are both always trying to get a Pikachu.

SpaceX will reuse their rocket. Blue Origin will reuse their rockette. Neither is an advance.

For 83 years, Radio City has reused theirs.

I always wondered why Pikachu's electric shock blasts off team rocket but not Ash.

I guess Ash is just better grounded.

How to make $500 fast

Attach it to a rocket

Rocket Ship

Did you hear about the rocket ship that didn't go up to space?
It had projectile dysfunction

Elton John was asked if he'd like an iceberg lettuce in his salad

he thought for a moment and replied "no thanks, I'm a rocket man"

If you're squeamish, take a rocket to space

Because in space, no one can hear you squeam.

why was team rocket looking into your window?

they wanted to take a Pikachu

Rockets? Maybe. But the Chinese haven't contributed to aviation.

After all, two Wongs don't make a Wright.

What did Rocket raccoon say after getting stabbed in the back by the rest of the Guardians of the Galaxy?

Et tu, Groote?

It's isn't rocket science

A patient on the dentist's chair was scared and quite apprehensive about the procedure he was going to undergo.
He asks a lot of questions and details from the dentist.
The dentist says, reassuringly:
"Relax, it's not brain surgery....Unless I slip."

A man goes golfing

And he hits the most incredible drive, an absolute rocket. 100 down range a bird flies into the middle of the fairway, gets smoked by the ball and drops down dead. The man walks up to the bird and sees that the ball has gone right through!
This begs the question, is it a birdie or a hole-in-one.

Since Trump nicknamed Kim Jun-Un Rocket Man, when Christmas comes along..

he can call him missile toe.
Joke originally told by my coworker today, who is a master of puns.

Will Trump ever apologize for calling Kim Jong-Un a "rocket man"?

Well I think it's going to be a long, long time...

I bought a bag of rocket salad today....

It went off before I could eat it.

I've invented a rocket that intercepts incoming warheads by consuming them.

It's a cannibalistic missile.

The Falcon Heavy is now the world's most powerful rocket

The Falcon Heavy can put around 140,000 pounds of cargo into lower Earth orbit, more than twice as much weight as any other operational rocket. This powerful vehicle could open up entirely new types of business for SpaceX: launching heavy national security satellites or even sending large modules or your mom into deep space.

Why are rockets shaped like p**...?

Because they provide maximum t**....

What happens if a rocket does not do its job?

It gets fired.

How would rocket raccoon react if groot joined forces with Thanos in Infinity War?

"et tu Groot?"

When I was a kid, I wanted to be a rocket scientist..

Nowadays, I just sell w**....
It's not too far off, though. I still get people very high.

Kim Jong-Un was very impressed with Donald Trump's rocket man remark...

In fact he was so impressed that he decided to name his youngest son 'Al Ton-Jong'.

Once a man went to a rocket station and asked for ticket to the moon.

The attendant said, " Sorry sir, the moon is full just now."

The Moon landings were staged...

... specifically, they had three stages, which were discarded in sequence as the rocket ascended to space to save on mass.

If Elon Musk made love to a woman while on his rocket to Mars...

Would that be SpaceX space s**...?

I have absolute confidence in Jeff's Bezos rocket company Blue Origin

Jeff has already achieved good separation.

What did the soviet rocket say as it took off?

Soyuz guys later

My friend told me that his DIY liquid rocket made it to space...

I told him to quit being hypergolic.

we should stop making fun of the Americans for using inches, foot, miles, etc as units of measurements.

it's not like they crashed a rocket into Mars because of this or something... oh wait...

What do you get when you combine the Rock and E.T.?

(From my little brother)
A rocket

What's a radical Muslim's favorite showing growing up?

Rocket power

How do you make a small fortune in the rocket industry?

By using a trampoline.

When visiting Cape Canaveral, make sure you don't leave your rocket there too long...

They have parking meteors.

If you keep a rocket in your home

the chances of having a household incident go through the roof

Do you want to hear a joke about the Israeli army?

A general asks a young soldier, what will you do if you see 20 soldiers coming to attack you? The soldier says that I would take an u**... and shoot them.
The general asks him what if a tank is coming to kill you? I would take a rocket launcher and defend myself replied the young soldier.
The general asks him what if you see tanks, terrorists and planes together?
The soldier says, general, am I the only one in the army?

Reasons to Avoid Water

* Can be extracte from rocket fuel
* Is the main ingredient in pestisides
* 100% of violent criminals have consumed water in the hours leading up to their crimes
* Is the #1 cause of drowning
* Excess consumption will cause sweating, urination and possibly death
* 100% of people exposed to water will die

Nudists must be careful around Team Rocket...

... because they're always trying to get a Pikachu.

A flat Earther goes to heaven.

A flat Earther dies while trying to fly in a homemade rocket and goes to heaven. There he meets up with God and says, "Oh Supreme Lord!! Tell me with utmost honesty. Is Earth round or flat ? "
God replies, "It is round, my dear child."
The flat earther thinks, " Wow ! This whole thing goes much higher than I thought."

What's the difference between Team Rocket and Reddit?

Team Rocket always has a cunning plan, while Reddit is a punning clan.

Rocket joke, What's the difference between Team Rocket and Reddit?

jokes about rocket