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Rock Paper Scissors Jokes

48 rock paper scissors jokes and hilarious rock paper scissors puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about rock paper scissors that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.

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Funniest Rock Paper Scissors Short Jokes

Short rock paper scissors jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The rock paper scissors humour may include short scissors jokes also.

  1. Rock, paper and scissors have entered a race. Rock has begun to roll, but paper and scissors remain stationery.
  2. I misplaced Dwayne Johnson's cutting tool for the origami workshop... I can't believe I lost the Rock's Paper
    Scissors...
  3. A rock and some scissors saw a piece of paper "What's that?" Asked the scissors.
    "Beats me" said the rock.
  4. I always wondered why rock didn't beat paper in rock paper scissors Turns out rock just couldn't cut it
  5. How do you beat a lesbian in a rock, paper, scissor fight? Pick rock, she will most likely pick scissor
  6. I was walking around a shady street late at night, and someone pulled a pair of scissors out at me. Fortunately, I pulled a rock. Had I pulled out paper, I would've have lost.
  7. Make a pair of scissors, specifically designed to cut paper, made out of sharpened stone. Call them "Rock Paper Scissors."
  8. I recently won a professional lesbian Rock Paper Scissors tournament It was easy because they kept doing scissors
  9. Rock, paper, scissors got complicated. I was playing it with my deaf cousin, but then he started showing some new signs and I didn't know how to counter them.
  10. I heard about a Pennsylvanian man Who wanted his students to protect themselves from armed intruders with rocks.
    Personally, it sounds like taking Rock, Paper, Scissors, Shoot too far

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Rock Paper Scissors One Liners

Which rock paper scissors one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with rock paper scissors? I can suggest the ones about chess and rock roll.

  1. What did Neanderthals call Rock, Paper, Scissors? Rock.
  2. Politics is like a game of rock-paper-scissors. Gun beats everything.
  3. Whats a lesbian drug dealers favorite game? Rock, paper, scissor
  4. Which went up to sing karaoke, rock, paper, or scissors? Rock. He was Boulder.
  5. If I got paid to play rock paper scissors... I'd be making money hand over fist.
  6. I used to play Rock-Paper-Scissors professionally. I made money hand over fist.
  7. How does a lesbian couple decide who gets artificially inseminated? Rock, paper, scissor.
  8. What did scissors say to paper after he beat rock? You're tearable.
  9. If you use Chuck Norris in a game of Rock-Paper-Scissors, you automatically win.
  10. Imagining Kid Rock's nemesis Li'l Paper Scissors
  11. What's a game you can always beat Dwayne Johnson in? Rock paper scissors
  12. What is Dwayne Johnsons favourite game? The Rock, Paper, Scissors
  13. Dwayne Johnson's branded stationary cutting tool Rock paper scissors
  14. I like to use Rock, paper scissors to make all my binary choices. Like what gender I am
  15. Playing rock paper scissors on Easter is pretty unfair Rock always loses.
Rock Paper Scissors joke, Playing rock paper scissors on Easter is pretty unfair

Ridiculous Rock Paper Scissors Jokes to Spark Fun and Laughter

What funny jokes about rock paper scissors you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean playing cards jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make rock paper scissors pranks.

This has been my stand-by joke since I was about 12

Two brothers want to go deer hunting but the only land nearby is owned by a grumpy farmer.
The decide to ask him if they can hunt on his property but when they pull up in the driveway neither brother wants to go knock on the door.
They play rock-paper-scissors and the older brother loses. He walks to the door and asks the farmer if they can go hunting.
The old farmer points to a nearby corral and says "See that horse? She's been mine for 20 years. She's blind and dying and I don't have the heart to put her down. If you do that for me, you boys can hunt on my land".
The older brother agrees and while walking back to the truck he thinks of a prank to play on his younger brother.
"I'll teach that lousy no-good farmer to say no!" he exclaims. "See that horse over there? Watch this!" He levels his rifle and shoots it! He hears gunshots next to him and looks at his brother.
"I got two of his cows" yells the younger brother, "lets get out of here!"

Paper, Rock, and Scissors were sitting at a table playing Poker

They are playing a hand and Rock goes all in, Scissors places $50, and paper snapped in a half and dies.
Scissors asks, "What happened?".
Rocks replies, "I think he folded".

⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language

What do you call a lady with a rock hard body having s**... with a paper thin lady?

Rock scissors paper

⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language

The news exposed Dwayne Johson for assaulting l**... having fun

In other words:
The Paper beat The Rock for beating scissors

Just won the most exciting rock papers scissors match I've ever had

The cop said "Papers" I said "scissors" and inmeditaly after that I drove the f#@€ away.
He must have been crazy for a Rematch because he chase me for 10 min!

⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language

How do l**... settle relationship disagreements?

Rock, paper, scissors!

⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language

Two l**... are playing rock, paper, scissors ..who will win ?

No one ... Both of them are choosing "scissors" again and again !

Husband and wife(moral)

A husband and wife dies, and go to heaven. There, god tells them they have room for only one of them, and they have to rock-paper-scissors for the spot. Wife whispered something to the husband and then prepares to start. They do it once and the husband chooses paper while the wife chooses scissors, so the husband dies. The wife cradling the dead body says to it, I told you that we should both pick rock.

⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language

4 gay guys walk into a bar and notice there is one stool left.


One gay guy suggest to play rock, paper, scissors and the other gay guy says.
"Stop all this nonsense. Lets just flip the stool over."

⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language

Why does a game of rock, paper, scissors between l**... always end up in a tie?

Because they will both pick scissors.

You have to be careful nowadays while walking alone

Earlier today, some guy pulled a scissors on me.
I'm glad I was agile enough to pull a rock from my pocket. If I pulled out paper, I would've lost.

Rock Paper Scissors joke, What is Dwayne Johnsons favourite game?

jokes about rock paper scissors