The Best 39 Rock Paper Scissors Jokes

Following is our collection of Rock Paper Scissors jokes which are very funny. There are some rock paper scissors settle jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud. Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these rock paper scissors lost puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.

4 gay guys walk into a bar and notice there is one stool left.


One gay guy suggest to play rock, paper, scissors and the other gay guy says.
"Stop all this nonsense. Lets just flip the stool over."

If you use Chuck Norris in a game of Rock-Paper-Scissors, you automatically win.

Paper beats rock, rock beats scissors, and scissors beats paper, but Chuck Norris beats all 3 at the same time.

When I play rock, paper, scissors, people think I always choose scissors.

They're wrong. I'm actually flashing a peace sign. Stop the violence.

This has been my stand-by joke since I was about 12

Two brothers want to go deer hunting but the only land nearby is owned by a grumpy farmer.

The decide to ask him if they can hunt on his property but when they pull up in the driveway neither brother wants to go knock on the door.

They play rock-paper-scissors and the older brother loses. He walks to the door and asks the farmer if they can go hunting.

The old farmer points to a nearby corral and says "See that horse? She's been mine for 20 years. She's blind and dying and I don't have the heart to put her down. If you do that for me, you boys can hunt on my land".

The older brother agrees and while walking back to the truck he thinks of a prank to play on his younger brother.

"I'll teach that lousy no-good farmer to say no!" he exclaims. "See that horse over there? Watch this!" He levels his rifle and shoots it! He hears gunshots next to him and looks at his brother.

"I got two of his cows" yells the younger brother, "lets get out of here!"


Two lesbians are playing rock, paper, scissors ..who will win ?

No one ... Both of them are choosing "scissors" again and again !

Rock, paper, scissors got complicated.

I was playing it with my deaf cousin, but then he started showing some new signs and I didn't know how to counter them.

I invented a new game similar to rock paper scissors.

You have 3 cards with a color on one side and white on the other.
You and your opponent choose a card, show it face down (white part), and simultaneously switch it to know the winner.
Every player has 3 cards of 3 different colors, representing some natural elements: Blue, Red and Brown, for Water, Fire and Wood respectively.
Narutally, blue beats red, as water extinguishes fire.
Red beats brown, as fire burns wood.
Brown beats Rihanna.

I always win against Koreans at rock-paper-scissors.

I pull out a camera, they play scissors, then I play rock.

Politics is like a game of rock-paper-scissors.

Gun beats everything.

It's a shame Jerry Hall never got it on with Vidal Sassoon

Then she'd have completed rock, paper and scissors.

Top Rock Paper Scissors Puns and Funny Jokes

You can explore rock paper scissors paper reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean rock paper scissors people dad jokes. There are also rock paper scissors puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.


I used to play Rock-Paper-Scissors professionally.

I made money hand over fist.

Paper, Rock, and Scissors were sitting at a table playing Poker

They are playing a hand and Rock goes all in, Scissors places $50, and paper snapped in a half and dies.

Scissors asks, "What happened?".

Rocks replies, "I think he folded".

I like to use Rock, paper scissors to make all my binary choices.

Like what gender I am

I was walking around a shady street late at night, and someone pulled a pair of scissors out at me.

Fortunately, I pulled a rock. Had I pulled out paper, I would've have lost.

Whats a lesbian drug dealers favorite game?

Rock, paper, scissor

What did scissors say to paper after he beat rock?

You're tearable.

I played an Asian at rock papers scissors, the game was really close

In fact, it was a Thai

Why does a game of rock, paper, scissors between lesbians always end up in a tie?

Because they will both pick scissors.


Make a pair of scissors, specifically designed to cut paper, made out of sharpened stone.

Call them "Rock Paper Scissors."

A rock and some scissors saw a piece of paper

"What's that?" Asked the scissors.
"Beats me" said the rock.

I heard about a Pennsylvanian man

Who wanted his students to protect themselves from armed intruders with rocks.

Personally, it sounds like taking Rock, Paper, Scissors, Shoot too far

Why do lesbians always lose at Rock Paper Scissors?

They keep throwing down scissors

Just won the most exciting rock papers scissors match I've ever had

The cop said "Papers" I said "scissors" and inmeditaly after that I drove the f#@€ away.
He must have been crazy for a Rematch because he chase me for 10 min!

I recently won a professional lesbian Rock Paper Scissors tournament

It was easy because they kept doing scissors

Husband and wife(moral)

A husband and wife dies, and go to heaven. There, god tells them they have room for only one of them, and they have to rock-paper-scissors for the spot. Wife whispered something to the husband and then prepares to start. They do it once and the husband chooses paper while the wife chooses scissors, so the husband dies. The wife cradling the dead body says to it, I told you that we should both pick rock.

How can you tell if she's into girls?

Get her to play 'rock,paper,scissors'
If you win using _rock_,
then you know.
_(If you lose using paper, this is also a tell-tale sign.)_

How does a lesbian couple decide who gets artificially inseminated?

Rock, paper, scissor.

Dwayne Johnson's branded stationary cutting tool

Rock paper scissors

Which went up to sing karaoke, rock, paper, or scissors?

Rock. He was Boulder.

How do lesbians settle relationship disagreements?

Rock, paper, scissors!

What is Dwayne Johnsons favourite game?

The Rock, Paper, Scissors

Why are lesbians bad at rock, paper, scissors?

They always go with scissors

What's a game you can always beat Dwayne Johnson in?

Rock paper scissors

You have to be careful nowadays while walking alone

Earlier today, some guy pulled a scissors on me.

I'm glad I was agile enough to pull a rock from my pocket. If I pulled out paper, I would've lost.

Imagining Kid Rock's nemesis

Li'l Paper Scissors

If I got paid to play rock paper scissors...

I'd be making money hand over fist.

Dwayne Johnson paid me to clean up and organize his craft room, but sadly, I lost his scrapbook cutting tool.

I lost the Rock's paper scissors.

How do you beat a lesbian in a rock, paper, scissor fight?

Pick rock, she will most likely pick scissor

Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the rock paper scissors drug jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, are mean or racist, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become bullying and inappropriate.

We suggest to use only working rock paper scissors rocket piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.

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