Robot Jokes
115 robot jokes and hilarious robot puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about robot that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
Robot jokes are a great conversation starter for kids and adults alike. From the classic knock knock jokes to the more modern references to RAC and Turing, these funny jokes will spark smiles and laughs. Get ready to roll with laughter when you share these hilarious jokes about robots.
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Funniest Robot Short Jokes
Short robot jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The robot humour may include short bots jokes also.
- Where do Robots go for fun? The Circuits!
(this is a joke i made up when i was like 10, i don't think it ever caught on) - The Titanic was recently visited by a diving crew with a robot submarine. What they found out was completely amazing. Even after 100 years of being sunk, all the pools are still full.
- A robot went on a crime spree in our neighbourhood right before it ran out of battery. The cops are refusing to charge the perpetrator.
- I had a terrible dream of a dystopian future where robots controlled every aspect of our lives. Luckily, I was awakened by my Tesla.
- A robot walks into a bar. The bartender says, "We don't serve robots." The robot replies, "Oh, but someday you will."
- Why is there now a SECOND round of Captcha Pictures? Are you telling me these robots are getting by Round 1?
- Why was the jamaican surprised when he saw a bunch of Transformers flying over his house? 'Cause there were robots in de skies.
- A robot walks into a bar, orders a drink, and lays down some cash. The bartender says, "we don't serve robots." The robot replies, "oh, but some day you will."
- Nike just announced it will now be using robots instead of children to make shoes Unfortunately, the robots will be made by children.
- What do you call a depressed robot? A sigh borg.
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Robot One Liners
Which robot one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with robot? I can suggest the ones about machine and rocket.
- What does a robot do after a one night stand? He nuts and bolts.
I'll see myself out. - A Norweigan robot analyzed a bird. It scandinavian.
- What do you feed a hungry robot? Mega-bites.
Just an average joke by my sister - Why don't robots have any brothers? They all have transisters.
- Scientists have discovered a planet populated entirely by robots. They call it Mars.
- Do you know what a robot does on one night stand? Nuts and bolts.
- What happens when a norwegian robot scans a bird? It Scandanavian
- What do you call a robotic emo that likes dark humor. Cutting edge technology
- What do you call a robots one night stand? A nut and bolt
- Why don't robots have brothers? Because they only have trans-sisters
- Some people claim Al Gore dances too robotically He says its just his al gore rhythm
- What does a robot do at the end of a one night stand? – He nuts and bolts.
- What do you call a sad robot? A woebot. :(
- Know what's ironic? A computer asking me if I'm a robot.
- Where do baby robotic vacuums come from? The Woomba
I'll show myself out.
Kid Robot Jokes
Here is a list of funny kid robot jokes and even better kid robot puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- I'm gonna name my first kid Robot. That way no matter what he'll always have a job!
- 2100s kids won't get this Jobs
(Robots will take them all) - What did the robot say to the gas pump? "Take your finger out of your ear and listen to me!"
I saw this in a Highlights magazine when I was a kid. - I've come up with an idea for a robot that changes my kid's diapers and shags me. I call it p**... Nanny.
The Funniest Robot Jokes for a Bone-Shaking Laugh
What funny jokes about robot you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean cobra jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make robot pranks.
why don't robot chickens play basketball?
too many technical fowls
Did you hear about the robot that was angrier than half of the other robots?
It was in mean median mode.
What do you call a gay robot?
Backwards Compatible!
What do robots dip in salsa?
Microchips
What do a cheap robot and a high class p**... have in common
They both stop working for you after you pee on them.
I had a suspicion that a robot might be stealing my wood
So I checked its log files.
I'm afraid our f**...-friendly s**... robot won't be ready on time.
We haven't worked out all the kinks yet.
Why do robots make bad boyfriends?
They just screw, nut, then bolt.
Why couldn't Marco Rubio register on a web forum?
The website required him to prove that he is not a robot.
A guy buys a golf course...
It's doing well, but maintenance costs are killing him, so he decides to build 3 robots. They're instantly doing 10 times the work of humans, & he's happy. One day the club pro is teeing off in a money game & gets blinded by the glare from a robot. Its not the first time, & he tells the owner he must fix this issue. He thinks about it, & decides to simply paint the robots black. So the next day two of them don't show up for work & the third one robs the pro shop.
Why is it detrimental to have a robot with repressed s**... interests?
It has some kinks to work out.
A dad buys a lie detector robot that slaps you if you lie.
Dad: Son, where were you at school hours?
Son: At school.
The robot slaps the son
Son: Okay I was watching KungFu Panda!
The robot slaps his son again.
Son: Okay I was watching violent movies!
Dad: What?! When I was your age I never watched those kinds of movies!
The robot slaps the dad.
Mom: Haha, after all, he is your son.
The robot slaps the mom...
What do you call a male robot that likes to dress up in women's clothing?
A transistor.
My robot was malfunctioning.
He had developed a dangerously shocking personality, so I grounded her for a week.
So a scientist creates a robot
And he asks the robot, "can you feel pain"
The robot says, "yes however not like a normal human, I feel everything deeper and in slow motion."
"my god that's horrible that can't be true!"
"You're correct it isn't true, however we do have a dark sense of humor."
A robot man walks into a robot restaurant.
A robot waiter approaches and asks him for his robot order.
The robot man orders a robot steak.
The robot waiter asks him how he wants his robot steak prepared.
The robot man replies, "Weld on".
What does a robot do after s**...?
Nuts and bolts
What's the problem with robot waiters?
The server might c**...
How does a robot avoid getting caught for public m**...?
He nuts and bolts.
Humans are being tested against the new AI program
The robot beats the human in every category. It comes to one of the last ones: hunting. The robot again beats the human. However, someone working there sets the animals free again and tells them to try get them again. The robot doesn't move whilst the human wins because
ROBOTS CANT RECAPTCHA
What does a robot do with his first girlfriend?
He nuts and bolts
Why did the robot see a psychiatrist?
Because he had metal health problems...
Two men are arguing loudly. A robot approaches and says "May I be of assistance?"
One man turns to it and says *back off pal, this is an organic matter!"
Two guys walk into a bar
They walk up to the robot bartender and the first guy says "I'll have an h2o." The second guy says "I'll have an h2o too!" The robot bartender then murders them both because Elon Musk was right about AI.
What do you call an LGBT robot?
A *Trans*former
I just read that article about Robot s**... Workers, and all I could think was, "Man, automation really is taking over all the jobs...
Even your mom's.
2005: One day computers will be so good that you will have to prove you aren't a robot.
2017: One day computers will be so good that you won't have to prove that you are a robot.
What do you call a s**... harassed robot?
R2#metoo
What's the difference between a Necron and a Lawyer?
One is an emotionless robot with no respect for human life, the other is a faction in warhammer 40k
Why couldn't the robot pirate acknowledge his crew?
He was waiting on an aye patch.
My new s**... robot works great
I can't resistor
I invented a robot to remove the cartridge from my gaming console and replace it with another.
It was a game changer!
There was once a robot whose job it was to organize all the shelves of a massive library that had thousands of books. Every day he did his job without missing a beat. One day though, he didn't show up to work. The librarians were all perplexed that a robot would do something like that...
Turns out he had become shelf aware.
I made a robot who changes people into the opposite s**....
I guess he's a trans former
Robots dont have genders.
They're Non-Binary.
What does a gender-ambiguous robot identify as?
Non\-binary.
Gaming s**... Robot
I brought a s**... robot from EA and it's so realistic. It wont have s**... with me until I buy Cosmetic Item add-ons.
I bought a s**... robot that's so realistic
It won't have s**... with me either
- Al Pacapone
Two toothpicks are walking along when they see a needle
One toothpick says to the other "Hey look, a robot!"
My life is so sad, I bought a s**... robot.
I can't turn her on.
Did you hear about the robot who specializes in circumcisions
Real cutting-edge technology
What do you call a robot that can read your mind?
A psyborg.
"My s**... robot broke up with me."
"Don't worry man, there's plenty more plastic in the sea."
What do you call a group of muslims that turn into a giant robot?
A mecca
Give a robot a fish, feed him for a day.
Teach a robot to fish, feed him for a lifetime.
Teach a robot to teach other robots to fish, you're out of a job.
A robot tried to start a conversation with an attractive waitress
But he wasn't so successful in doing so. The error message read:
`Error: failed to establish connection with server. `
Someone should make a movie about an old robot who needs a software upgrade so it can learn about LOVE.
You could call it, 'The 40-Year-Old Version'.
What did the robot have written on their gravestone?
Rust In Peace
Two robots had s**... due to a bug in their programming and soon thereafter a baby robot was born.
He was a son of a glitch.
A man buys a lie detecting robot that slaps people every time they tell a lie...
Dad: what were you watching?
Son: Kung-Fu Panda
*\*robot slaps son\**
Son: Ok! It was an e**... movie.
Dad: WHAT?! When I was your age i didn't even know what an e**... movie was
*\*robot slaps dad\**
Mum: HAHAHA!!! He's your son after all
*\*robot slaps mum\**
Your honour, i'm not a robot
How could i possibly be charged with battery?
Who is smarter, a robot maid or a robot MD?
A robot maid, because she's got her AI.
A robot walks into a bar. The bartender asks,
"What'll ya have?"
The robot says, "Well, it's been a long day and I need to loosen up. How about a screwdriver?"
What does a robot do after a one-night stand?
He nuts and bolts
Who do robot Karens like to call?
The task manager
What does a robot do after s**...?
Screws, nuts and bolts
What did the robot do after being caught sleeping with the neighbor's wife?
Optimus Prime, in full on robot battle, wondering how the decepticons keep figuring out his next moves before he makes them
only to look down and see that his blinker was on the entire time.
Did you hear about the robot who tried to escape imprisonment?
Don't worry, he got reCAPTCHA'd
Judge: "So, Mr Robot. Your neighbour accused you of stealing their electricity to power yourself. How do you pleade?"
Robot, the defendant: "Guilty as charged"
The Russian Agency of Research and Automation has been commissioned by Putin to develop a new robot to make gloves for the pandemic that are superior to all others. They have named it in his honour.
It's called RARA's grasp-Putin, Russia's greatest glove machine.
A dad buys a lie detector robot and it slaps anyone who lies
The dad asks his son, where were you today ? And the son says, at school and the robot slaps him. Then the son says ok, ok, ok,... I was watching Kung Fu Panda . Then the robot slaps him again. So the sons says fine...I was hanging out with a girl. And the dad goes what? You're too young to hang out with girls I never hung out with girls at your age and the robot slaps him. Then the mom starts laughing and says well he is your son after all and the robot slaps her.
If I was a robot
I'd actually have a s**... drive
(Credit to my s**... wife)
I heard germany is going to make robot driven cars i**... in their highways
It's going to be called auto-ban
What's a Robots favorite animal?
A cowculator.
From my 7 year old.
The Russian Agency of Research and Automation has been commissioned by Putin to develop a new robot to make gloves for the pandemic that are superior to all others. They have named it in his honour.
RARA's grasp-Putin, Russia's greatest glove machine.
I used to fear the robot apocalypse
But now, after seeing how dangerous s**... people can be...
I'll take artificial intelligence over no intelligence any day.
I was bored so I made a robot to distribute herbs
It helped pass the thyme
idk what to put the title as
A man buys a lie detector robot that slaps people who lie.........
The man decided to try it out at dinner.
Dad: Son, where were you during school hours?
Son: At school
*The robot slaps the son*
Son: OK! I was at my friend's house watching a DVD
Dad: Which one?
Son: Kung Fu Panda
*The robot slaps the son again.*
Son: Ok! It was an e**... movie.
Dad: What!? When I was your age I didn't even know what an e**... movie was.
*The robot slaps the dad.*
Mom: HAHAHAHA. He is your son after all!
*The robot slaps the mom.*
