robot Jokes

funny pick up lines and hilarious robot puns

Humans are being tested against the new AI program

The robot beats the human in every category. It comes to one of the last ones: hunting. The robot again beats the human. However, someone working there sets the animals free again and tells them to try get them again. The robot doesn't move whilst the human wins because




ROBOTS CANT RECAPTCHA

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What does a robot do after a one night stand?

He nuts and bolts.




I'll see myself out.

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Convincing your girlfriend she's crazy or paranoid is called gaslighting, and it's a dick move.

But convincing her she's a robot with artificial implanted human emotions is called bladerunning. It's a Phillip K. Dick move.

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A Norweigan robot analyzed a bird.

It scandinavian.

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Where do Robots go for fun?

The Circuits!

(this is a joke i made up when i was like 10, i don't think it ever caught on)

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Why don't robots have any brothers?

They all have transisters.

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If a Norwegian robot...

If a Norwegian robot analyzes a bird, it Scandinavian.

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What does a robot do after sex?

Nuts and bolts

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A dad buys a lie detector robot that slaps you if you lie.

Dad: Son, where were you at school hours?

Son: At school.

The robot slaps the son

Son: Okay I was watching KungFu Panda!

The robot slaps his son again.

Son: Okay I was watching violent movies!

Dad: What?! When I was your age I never watched those kinds of movies!

The robot slaps the dad.

Mom: Haha, after all, he is your son.

The robot slaps the mom...ο»Ώ

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I made a robot who changes people into the opposite sex.

I guess he's a trans former

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What happens when a Norwegian robot scans a bird?

It Scandanavian

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I just read that article about Robot Sex Workers, and all I could think was, "Man, automation really is taking over all the jobs...

Even your mom's.

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How does a robot avoid getting caught for public masturbation?

He nuts and bolts.

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A man buys a lie detector robot....

A man buys a lie detector robot that slaps people that lie
Dad: son, where were you today during school hours?
Son: at school.
The robot slaps the son.
Son: ok! I watched a DVD at my friends house.
Dad: which one?
Son: Kung fu panda
The robot slaps the son again
Son: Ok! It was a porno
Dad: WHAT?!? When I was your age I didn't even know what porn was!
The robot slaps the dad
Mom: hahahaha! After all he's your son
The robot slaps the mom....

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I'm afraid our fetish-friendly sex robot won't be ready on time.

We haven't worked out all the kinks yet.

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Robot Slapper

A man buys a lie detector robot that slaps people who lie. He decides to test it at dinner.



**DAD:** Son, where were you today during school hours?

**SON:** At school **Robot slaps son*

**SON:** OK, I went to the movies.

**DAD:** Which one?

**SON:** Toy Story **Robot slaps son again*

**SON:** OK, it was Day with a Porn Star

**DAD:** WHAT? When I was your age I didn't even know what porn was! **Robot slaps dad*

**MOM:** HAHA! After all he's your son. **Robot slaps mom*

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A robot man walks into a robot restaurant.

A robot waiter approaches and asks him for his robot order.
The robot man orders a robot steak.
The robot waiter asks him how he wants his robot steak prepared.
The robot man replies, "Weld on".

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A dad buys a lie detector robot that slaps you if you lie.

Dad: Son, why were you up so late last night?

Son: I wasn't! The robot slaps the son.

Son: Okay I was watching a kung-fu movie! The robot slaps his son again.

Son: Okay, fine, I was watching a porno!

Dad: What?! When I was your age I never watched those kinds of movies! The robot slaps the dad.

Mom: Haha, after all, he is your son. The robot slaps the mom.

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The Titanic was recently visited by a diving crew with a robot submarine. What they found out was completely amazing.

Even after 100 years of being sunk, all the pools are still full.

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Why don't robots have brothers?

Because they only have trans-sisters

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One of my favorites, probably a repost...

A man buys a lie detector robot that slaps people who lie. So he decides to try it out at dinner.

DAD: Son, where were you today during school?

SON: At school *robot slaps son*

SON: Ok, I went to the movies.

DAD: Which one?

SON: Toy Story *robot slaps son again*

SON: Ok, it was A Day with a Porn Star.

DAD: WHAT?! When I was your age, I didn't even know what porn was. *Robot slaps dad*

MOM: HAHA!! After all he is your son, *Robot slaps mom*





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The Lie-Bot

A father comes home one day with a large cardboard box. When he unpacks it, the family's startled to see it contains a humanoid robot.

"This is a lie detector 'bot," the dad says. "It's programmed to slap anyone who tells a lie." He looks at his son and says, "Timmy, what were you watching over at your friend Joey's house last night?"

Timmy says, "Um...we were watching 'Toy Story'."

The robot slaps Timmy.

"OW!" Timmy says. "Okay, I admit it! We were watching porn!"

"Hah!" the dad says. "It works. And I'm ashamed of you. In my day we never even knew what porn was, much less watched it."

The robot slaps the dad.

"Haha!" the wife laughs. "He's your kid, all right."

The robot slaps the wife.

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Lie detector robot

So a Dad builds a lie detecting robot that slaps anyone when they lie. He's been suspicious of what his son has been up to lately.

So they are sitting at the dinner table, the mum, the dad, the son, and the robot.
The dad asks his son "So where were you last night?"
The son replies "I was at the library"
*the robot slaps the son*
Son: "Fine, I was at Geoff's house"
Dad: "And what were you two doing?"
Son: "studying of course"
*robot slaps the son*
Son: "ok we were watching movies"
*robot slaps the son again*
Son: "Fine! we were watching porn ok?"
Dad: "I'm disappointed in you, when I was your age we didn't even know what porn was."
*the robot slaps the dad*
Embarrassed the Dad says "Well I certainly wasn't watching it!"
*the robot slaps the dad again*
The Mum starts chuckling at the end of the table and says "He's definitely your son"
*And the robot slaps the Mum"

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Lie Detetcting Robot

A father buys a lie detecting robot that slaps a person when he lies.
He decides to test it out on his son at supper. Where were you last night?
I was at the library.
The robot slaps the son.
Okay, I was at a friend's house.
Doing what? asks the father.
Watching a movie, Toy Story.
The robot slaps the son.
Okay, it was porn! cries the son.
The father yells, What? When I was your age, I didn't know what porn was!
The robot slaps the father.
The mother laughs and says, He certainly is your son!
The robot slaps the mother.

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Robot For Sale

A father buys a lie detector robot that slaps people when they lie.
He decides to test it out at dinner one night. The father asks his son what he did that afternoon.
The son says, "I did some homework."
The robot slaps the son.
The son says, "Okay, okay, I was at a friend's house watching movies."
Dad asks, "What movie did you watch?"
Son says, "Toy Story."
The robot slaps the son.
Son says, "Okay, okay, we were watching porn videos."
Dad says "What? At your age I didn't even know what porn was."
The robot slaps the father.
Mom laughs and says, "Well, he certainly is your son."
The robot slaps the mother.

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A father buys a lie detector...

A father buys a lie detector robot that slaps people when they lie.
He decides to test it out at dinner one night.
The father asks his son what he did that afternoon.
The son says, "I did some homework."
The robot slaps the son.
The son says, "Ok, Ok, I was at a friend's house watching movies."
Dad asks, "What movie did you watch?"
Son says, "Toy Story."
The robot slaps the son.
Son says, "Ok, Ok, we were watching porn."
Dad says, "What? At your age I didn't even know what porn was."
The robot slaps the father.
Mom laughs and says, "Well, he certainly is your son."
The robot slaps the mother.

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So a dad buys a lie detector robot that slaps someone when they lie.

He decides to test it at dinner. "Son, where were you today?" The son says, "At school." The robot slaps the son! "OK, I watched a DVD at my friend's house!" "What DVD?" the dad asked. "Toy Story." The robot slaps the son again! "OK, it was a porno." cries the son. "What! When I was your age I didn't know what porn was" says the dad. The robot slaps the dad! Mom laughs "Hahaha! He's certainly your son." The robot slaps the mom.

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Lie Detector Robot

A dad buys a lie detector robot that slaps people when they lie. He decides to test it at dinner.
"Son, where were you today?" The son says "at school dad." Robot slaps the son!
"Ok, I watched a dvd at my friends house!" the son says "What dvd?" asks the father "Toy story." Robot slaps the son again!
"Ok, it was a porno" cries the son. "What!? When I was your age I didn't know what porn was" says the dad. Robot slaps the dad!
Mom laughs "HaHaHa! He's certainly your son." Robot slaps the mom!
Awkward Silence

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What do you call a sad robot?

A woebot. :(

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A robot walks into a bar. The bartender says, "We don't serve robots."

The robot replies, "Oh, but someday you will."

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a lie detecting robot....

A dad buys a lie detector robot which slaps people when they lie. He decides to test it at dinner. "son, where were you today?" the son says "at school dad". Robot slaps the son. "Okay, i watched a dvd at my friends house". "what dvd"? "Toy story". Robot slaps the son again!. "Okay, it was a porno" cries the son. Dad yells "What! when i was your age, i didn't know what porn was". Robot then slaps the dad. Mom laughs "Hahaha, he's certainly your son". Robot then slaps the mom.

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Why robots are not good for health

A father buys a lie detector robot that slaps people when they lie.

He decides to test it out at dinner one night. The father asks his son what he did that afternoon.

The son says, "I did some schoolwork."

The robot slaps the son.

The son says, "Ok, Ok. I was at a friend's house watching movies."

Dad asks, "What movie did you watch?"

Son says, "Toy Story."

The robot slaps the son.

Son says, "Ok, Ok, we were watching porn."

Dad says, "What? At your age I didn't even know what porn was."

The robot slaps the father.

Mom laughs and says, "Well, he certainly is your son."

The robot slaps the mother.

Robot for sale.

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A father buys a lie detector robot that slaps people when they lie.

He decides to test it out at dinner one night.

The father asks his son what he did that afternoon. The son says, "I did some schoolwork." The robot slaps the son.

The son says, "Okay, okay. I was at a friend's house watching movies." The father asks, "What movie did you watch?" The son replies, "Toy Story." The robot slaps the son.

The son says, "Okay, okay. We were watching porn." The father says, "What? At your age I didn't even know what porn was." The robot slaps the father.

The mother laughs and says, "Well, he certainly is your son!" The robot slaps the mother.

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Lie Detector

A father buys a Lie Detector Robot that slaps you when you lie.
He decides to test it on his son at supper.
"Where were you last night?" the father asks.
"I was at the library." Robot slaps the son.
"OK I was at a friend's house."
"Doing what?" asked the father.
"Watching a movie, Toy Story."
Robot slaps the son.
"OK it was porn!" cried the son.
Father yells "What? When I was your age I didn't even know what porn was!!!"
Robot slaps the father.
The mother laughs and says "He certainly is your son!"
Robot slaps the mother.

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Robot for sale!

A father buys a lie detector robot that slaps people when they lie.

He decides to test it out at dinner one night. The father asks his son what he did that afternoon.

The son says, "I did some schoolwork." The robot slaps the son.

The son says, "Ok, Ok. I was at a friend's house watching movies."

Dad asks, "What movie did you watch?"

Son says, "Toy Story." The robot slaps the son.

Son says, "Ok, Ok, we were watching porn."

Dad says, "What? At your age I didn't even know what porn was." The robot slaps the father.

Mom laughs and says, "Well, he certainly is your son." The robot slaps the mother.

Robot for sale...!

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What are the most funny Robot jokes of all time ?

Did you ever wanted to stand out with a good sense of humour joking with someone about Robot? Well, here are the best Robot dad jokes to laugh out loud. Crazy funny puns and Robot pick up lines to share with friends.

Joko Jokes