The Best 54 Robe Jokes

Following is our collection of funny Robe jokes. There are some robe skimpy jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud.

Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these robe garb puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.

Top 10 of the Funniest Robe Jokes and Puns

Why is Robert Pattison so pale?

There's no sunlight in the closet.

So an old couple was getting ready for bed...

...when the old lady throws off her robe, revealing the skimpy negligee that she was wearing, jumps on her husband and yells "SUPER SEX!".

The man takes one look at his wife and says, "Well if you don't mind, I would like the soup."

2 monsters started talking

2 monsters were talking, one said he loved eating humans, the other disagreed. the first monster asked how he was cooking his humans. The second answered "I boiled him."So the first monster then asked if the second could describe the human he was trying to cook the second responded with "well, he was bald with a ring of hair, he wore a brown robe, with a rope around his waist like a belt." The second monster replied "well there's your problem! He was a FRIAR"

Robe joke, 2 monsters started talking

What did Robert Plant say to his blistering hot soup?

You neeeeed cooooooolin'!

Why couldn't Robert Plant play the 25 cent slot machine?

No quarter

Robert Ebert was asked to reflect upon his career as a movie critic...

He described it as a jaw-dropping experience...

A Buddhist monk walks upto a hotdog stand and says...

"Make me one with everything."

Despite this being an overused statement, the vendor serves him a hotdog as he is a customer. When the monk asks if he has 27 cents, the vendor replies "Change comes from within."

The monk then pulls out a pistol from his robe and shoots the vendor. After this, he states "I have found my inner piece."

Robe joke, A Buddhist monk walks upto a hotdog stand and says...

I went to Church for the first time last week.

I asked my cousin: "So, when does the Priest do his magic trick?"


"You know, making the altar boy disappear under his robe."

Pumping up his stomach

A little boy walks in on his parents having sex and the mother throws on a robe and rushes him out of the room. "I was just hopping on daddy's big belly to make it smaller" she says, but the little boy tells her "That's useless because every time you go shopping the neighbor lady comes and gets on her knees and blows it right back up!"

I don't get why Robert and Cersei never seemed to get along...

They didn't even have a legitimate issue.

Robert Khardasian was OJ Simpson's lawyer

And thus began the family tradition of getting black men off.

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Why did Robert Oppenheimer's wife go to the beach naked?

There was no bikini atoll

Robert Kardashian taught Kim an important lesson.

You can become famous if you help a black guy get off.

Answered the door in my bath robe today...

Funny place for a door.

Robert Hooke was alone in his room and I heard weird noises.

Guess he was playing with his's cork.

If Robert Duvall had everything stolen from him, what would that make him?

Rob Duvall his possessions

Robe joke, If Robert Duvall had everything stolen from him, what would that make him?

Robert asks a televangelist to pray for his hearing

After five minutes of violent shaking and trying to push the man backwards, the televangelist inquires Robert on the state of his hearing, to which he replies "I don't know, my hearing isn't until Tuesday at the courthouse."

Why is Robert Palmer bad at tennis?

He's addicted to love

What do you call a brewmaster that wears a bright purple robe and carries around an enormous recipe book?

An Ale Chemist.

So Robert Frost and his wife are lost in the woods

Robert Frost remarks to his wife "We've got miles to go before we sleep"
And his wife replies "Well maybe if we hadn't taken the road less traveled by we'd be there already"

Sherlock's son tugs at his robe, screaming: "Daaad, dad!"

Sherlock looks at him and says: "Watson?"

What does a king call his robe?

His reign jacket

Robert Mugabe admits to playing World of Warcraft

You are not in this Presidential group.
Please leave office or you will be teleported to the nearest graveyard in 59..58...57

What was Robert Mueller's favorite childhood game?


Robespierre, Trotsky, and Mao walk into a bar.

There are no survivors.

If Robert Kardashian hadn't gotten OJ off,

eventually one of his daughters would have.

Robert Mueller has uncovered that Donald Trump dropped Quaaludes with the entire USSR hockey team prior to their stunning defeat to the US at the 1980 Olympics "Miracle on Ice" in Lake Placid, NY. So what's the crime in that?

Trump Quaaluded with the Russians

Robert died...

He was working on the local brewery and fell inside the beer tank, drowning. It is believed he didn't suffer as footage shows him leaving the tank twice to take a leak.

Robert De Niro has six children,

That's mucho de niro.

Robert McCall and John Wick walk into a bar...

And say "Ouch!"

How to make a lot of money by predicting the future

1) Wait until your 80+ years old

2) Dress up in a robe with a hood

3) Find dumb superstitious customers

4) Prophet

Robert Mueller goes before Congress..

Rhetorically, he asks who would be so low that they would sell our country and values for personal profit?

All of the republicans stand to volunteer.

So Robert Kirkman saved telltale's The walking Dead Final season from being cancelled

Fans will never forget that

Roberto Osuna

...must have thought Red Sox batters were domestic partners, the way he was hitting them.

Robert Mueller is looking at Don Jr. and Ivanka's involvement in Trump Tower Moscow

This is a family separation I can get behind!

White robe with a cone top was really popular among the members of KKK.

It was a cult classic.

If robert frost was bisexual...

He would have gone both ways.

What does Robert Mueller like to drink?

Just ice.

What do you do when you are at the bottom of the robe and things are happening to fast?

You use belay tactics

What did Robert Palmer say to the light when he flipped the wrong switch?

I didn't mean to turn you on.

Robert Kraft - 7 rings.

Robert Kraft:

- 2001 Super Bowl Ring
- 2003 Super Bowl Ring
- 2004 Super Bowl Ring
- 2014 Super Bowl Ring
- 2016 Super Bowl Ring
- 2018 Super Bowl Ring
- 2019 Prostitution Ring

What is Robert Kraft's favorite football play?

The rub and tug in the end zone.

What's Robert Kraft's favorite wing flavor?

Dry rub!

Robert Kraft's lawyer:

It's gonna cost you a whole lot more for me to get you off, big guy.

I left a trail of rose petals from the front door, up the stairs, and to the bedroom.

I sprinkled some more over the bed.

I sat in the corner wearing nothing but her beautiful silk robe with a bottle of vintage wine on ice on the end table.

I heard the door open and her walking up the stairs, I wanted this to be the most romantic evening she's ever had, I was slightly nervous.

Now all I need is the perfect line to introduce myself.

Robert Kraft doesn't always have a use for massage parlors.

But sometimes they come in handy.

Robert E. Lee once said: "I like whiskey. I always did. And that is why I never drink it."

That's just generally speaking.

A buck wearing a robe and clutching a bible was found dead near a rural highway...

The person who found the animal exclaimed "Deer Lord" upon its discovery.

Robert Pattinson is an awful vampire

It took him 11 years to figure out how to turn into a bat

Robert, caring child

Little Robert asked his mother for two cents. "What did you do with the money I gave you yesterday?"

"I gave it to a poor old woman," he answered.

"You're a good boy," said the mother proudly. "Here are two cents more. But why are you so interested in the old woman?"

"She is the one who sells the candy."

Robert Pattinson is the worst vampire ever.

It took him 12 years to transform into a bat.

A man and a woman get married and are on their honeymoon.

The woman walks out of the bathroom in a robe and the man says "Take off your robe - we're married now!"

Okay, she says seductively while taking off her robe.

Can I take a picture of you?


"So I can carry you with me.

A few hours later the man comes out of the bathroom in a robe.

The woman says "Take off your robe - we're married now!"

Okay, he replied while enthusiastically taking off his robe.

Can I take a picture?


"So I can have it enlarged!"

A lesson from my life as a monk

I learned a lot during my years at the monastery. One thing I still remember is that our vow of poverty meant that we were expected to go to great lengths to look after our one robe, including mending and from time to time dying them to their regulation dark hue.

One thing that surprised me was how rough and scratchy the dye made the material over many years.

Old habits dye hard.

Robert Pattinson is the worst vampire ever.

Took him 15 years to figure out how to turn himself into a bat

Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the robe gown jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, are mean or racist, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become bullying and inappropriate.

We suggest to use only working robe nightie piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.

Joko Jokes