Robber Jokes

Funniest Robber Short Jokes

Short robber jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The robber humour may include short burglar jokes also.

1. While driving to work, robbers jumped into my car and stole everything. They were pirates of the car I be in.
2. Two robbers were robbing a liquor store when one robber grabs a bottle and asks the other robber "is this whiskey?" The other says "yeah but not as whiskey as wobbing a bank"
3. Everyone in my family was a police officer, except for my grandad, who was a bank robber He died last week
   surrounded by his family
4. The first joke I made up at age 7 - found in my first grade journal Q: Where do robbers go to the bathroom
   A: Arrest-room
5. I´m at the atm when a robber holding his gun at my back... He asks: do you want to see your family again?
   I said "no".
   We both had a good laugh.
6. What did one Mexican robber say to the other when they got to the "No Trespassing" sign? "It's ok because there is only two of us."
7. Did you hear about the robbers who broke into the police station and stole all the toilet seats? It happened last week and the cops still don't have anything to go on.
8. While driving down the road, two robbers jumped into my car and stole everything. They were pirates of the car I be in.
9. Two Robbers hold up a liquor store One of them picks up a bottle and asked, "Is this Whiskey?!". The other one replies "Well not as whiskey as wobbing a bank".
10. My local ski resort was ripped off last week for around $900. The robber stole a burger, two beers, and some chips.

Share These Robber Jokes With Friends

Robber One Liners

Which robber one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with robber? I can suggest the ones about robbing and robbing bank.

1. A robber broke into my house last night looking for money So I woke up to look with him.
2. A Robber entered my home in hopes of finding money..... I joined the search with him.
3. Why was the vegetable store robber embarrassed? He got caught taking a leek
4. Did you hear about the crazy Mexican train robber? He had loco motives
5. Whats the difference between an archeologist and a grave robber ? Nationality
6. How did the bank robber choose his next target? He used Google safe search.
7. Why are Karen's so bad robbers? Because they don't wear a mask
8. I've heard of a lot of dumb criminals... but bakery robbers take the cake
9. Did you hear about the sensitive robber? He takes things personally.
10. When the robber tried to rob a board game store at gunpoint.. He was asking for trouble
11. Why did the robber shave his entire body? So he could be a smooth criminal
12. What did the robber say when he blew up the bank?
13. What do you call a robber with good skin? A Smooth Criminal.
14. I woke up this morning to a robber in my house searching for money... I joined him
15. Did you hear about the two robbers who stole the calendar? They each got six months.

Robber Up Jokes

Here is a list of funny robber up jokes and even better robber up puns that will make you laugh with friends.

• Why did the robber go to the circus? To steal the show. This joke was brought to you by my 2nd grade daughter. ;)
• What's the difference between a robber and a politician? Politicians run BEFORE they steal your money.
• A robber broke into my house the other day looking for money So I woke up and looked with him
• A robber attacked a man and said: -Give me all your money!
  The man said:
  - You do know I'm a politician,right?!
  -OK , give me all of MY money then! the man replied.
• All my family are police officers. Except for my uncle who is a bank robber. He died recently, surrounded by his family.
• What's the difference between a successful bank robber and one who ends up in prison? One's a pro, and one's a con.
• A man robs a bank. Robber: Give me all your money or you're geography!
  Employee: Don't you mean history?
  Robber: Don't change the subject...
• Two blonde robbers were robbing a hotel. The first one said - I hear sirens. Jump.
  The other replied - But we are on the 13th floor.
  The first one yelled - This is no time to be superstitious.
• An art museum robber is caught when he tries to get away.... A reporter asks him what went wrong with the robbery. He answers " I didn't have the Monet to buy Degas to make the Van Gogh.
• A robber went into someone's house and stole all the lamps To his surprise, he later found the owner of said house de-lighted

Bank Robber Jokes

Here is a list of funny bank robber jokes and even better bank robber puns that will make you laugh with friends.

• Did you hear about the infamous bank robbers in the old wild west? One of them married the other one's sister. They were both outlaws and in-laws.
• The wife and I went to a bank robber-themed fancy dress party last night. Well I did. She stayed in the car, keeping the engine running.
• A Car full of bank robbers has crashed into a cement truck yesterday while evading police … The police are now searching for hardened criminals.
• What's the difference between a bank and a bank robber? Give a man a gun and he can rob a bank, but give a man a bank and he can rob the whole world.
• So i just saw a bank robber jump down some stairs while yelling about how terrible the cops were guess you could say he was condescending
• My armless uncle was a bank robber for 40 years and th e police couldn't ever capture him... Apparently, they couldn't arrest him for armed robbery.
• why do bank robbers make hostages kneel down? cause it's a fell-on-knee
• Say what you will about bank robbers... At least they wear masks
• My Entire Family are Police Marksmen, Apart from my Granddad, who was a Bank Robber. He died recently, surrounded by his family.
• Why do blondes make awful bank robbers? Because they tie up the safe and blow the guards.

Armed Robber Jokes

Here is a list of funny armed robber jokes and even better armed robber puns that will make you laugh with friends.

• Funny joke, I think. A robber who had no arms tried to rob me, good thing he was unarmed.
• Armed robbers. Some say they're a drain on society. But you've got to give it to them...
• What do you call a person that commits a robbery with his bare hands? An armed robber..
• What's the difference between an unarmed black man and an armed robber on the run? How should I know, I'm just a cop!
• A one-armed man was robbed The robber said "stick it up"
• Cemetry at midnight is the only place in the world where... A couple of armed robbers will scare you less than a little lonely girl in a white dress.
• An armed robber, fleeing from the police, ran into a s**... club It turned into a h**... stage situation.

Grave Robber Jokes

Here is a list of funny grave robber jokes and even better grave robber puns that will make you laugh with friends.

• How did the grave robber perish when he became trapped in a pyramid? He died of asphinxiation!
• Dirty hands are a sign of clean money.... Unless you're a grave robber
• What's the difference between an archaeologist and a grave robber? The robber does the crime, then does the time. The archaeologist does the time, then the crime.
• What do a bad author and a grave robber have in common? They both create a lot of plotholes.
• Grave robber grave robber: oh no i dug up the wrong grave
  me, rising from my coffin: you should have said you made a grave mistake
• If you marry an 18 year old they call you a cradle robber.. So if you marry a 70 year old, does that make you a grave robber?
• Why are grave robbers no fun at parties? The are serious criminals.
• What did the grave robber say to his gym buddy in the locker room? I'm gonna get some head tonight.

Hilarious Fun Robber Jokes to Bring Joy & Laughter with Friends

What funny jokes about robber you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean mugger jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make robber pranks.