Robber Jokes

Funniest Robber Short Jokes

Short robber jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The robber humour may include short burglar jokes also.

1. While driving to work, robbers jumped into my car and stole everything. They were pirates of the car I be in.
2. Two robbers were robbing a liquor store when one robber grabs a bottle and asks the other robber "is this whiskey?" The other says "yeah but not as whiskey as wobbing a bank"
3. Everyone in my family was a police officer, except for my grandad, who was a bank robber He died last week
   surrounded by his family
4. The first joke I made up at age 7 - found in my first grade journal Q: Where do robbers go to the bathroom
   A: Arrest-room
5. I´m at the atm when a robber holding his gun at my back... He asks: do you want to see your family again?
   I said "no".
   We both had a good laugh.
6. What did one Mexican robber say to the other when they got to the "No Trespassing" sign? "It's ok because there is only two of us."
7. Did you hear about the robbers who broke into the police station and stole all the toilet seats? It happened last week and the cops still don't have anything to go on.
8. My local ski resort was ripped off last week for around $900. The robber stole a burger, two beers, and some chips.
9. Why did the robber go to the circus? To steal the show. This joke was brought to you by my 2nd grade daughter. ;)
10. A robber attacked a man and said: -Give me all your money!
    The man said:
    - You do know I'm a politician,right?!
    -OK , give me all of MY money then! the man replied.

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Robber One Liners

Which robber one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with robber? I can suggest the ones about mugger and bandit.

1. A robber broke into my house last night looking for money So I woke up to look with him.
2. Why was the vegetable store robber embarrassed? He got caught taking a leek
3. Whats the difference between an archeologist and a grave robber ? Nationality
4. How did the bank robber choose his next target? He used Google safe search.
5. I've heard of a lot of dumb criminals... but bakery robbers take the cake
6. Did you hear about the sensitive robber? He takes things personally.
7. When the robber tried to rob a board game store at gunpoint.. He was asking for trouble
8. Why did the robber shave his entire body? So he could be a smooth criminal
9. What did the robber say when he blew up the bank?
10. What do you call a robber with good skin? A Smooth Criminal.
11. What do you call a duck that likes to steal? A Robber Ducky!
12. why do bank robbers make hostages kneel down? cause it's a fell-on-knee
13. Say what you will about bank robbers... At least they wear masks
14. Why do mathematicians make horrible robbers? They always leave all the proofs.
15. Was at the ATM withdrawing money, then a robber tried to rob my balance I fell.

Robber Up Jokes

Here is a list of funny robber up jokes and even better robber up puns that will make you laugh with friends.

• What's the difference between a successful bank robber and one who ends up in prison? One's a pro, and one's a con.
• An art museum robber is caught when he tries to get away.... A reporter asks him what went wrong with the robbery. He answers " I didn't have the Monet to buy Degas to make the Van Gogh.
• A robber went into someone's house and stole all the lamps To his surprise, he later found the owner of said house de-lighted
• A father has 4 sons in his house. 3 have a phd, but one is a robber. Why won't he kick out the robber? Because he's the only one making money
• Did you hear about the infamous bank robbers in the old wild west? One of them married the other one's sister. They were both outlaws and in-laws.
• The wife and I went to a bank robber-themed fancy dress party last night. Well I did. She stayed in the car, keeping the engine running.
• A Car full of bank robbers has crashed into a cement truck yesterday while evading police … The police are now searching for hardened criminals.
• As the robber was standing in my house I begged once more, "Please, I have three children and a wife!" He answered: "For the last time dude i'm not going to shoot you"
• What's the difference between a bank and a bank robber? Give a man a gun and he can rob a bank, but give a man a bank and he can rob the whole world.
• So i just saw a bank robber jump down some stairs while yelling about how terrible the cops were guess you could say he was condescending

Bank Robber Jokes

Here is a list of funny bank robber jokes and even better bank robber puns that will make you laugh with friends.

• My armless uncle was a bank robber for 40 years and th e police couldn't ever capture him... Apparently, they couldn't arrest him for armed robbery.
• I am a bank robber... I took a pen from the teller
• What's the difference between Amy Schumer and a bank robber? A bank robber steals something of value.
• TIL J. Cole robbed a bank and was never caught despite there being several witnesses When police sketch artists asked witnesses for a description of the robber they said he had no features.
• Interview joke Interviewer: What is your name, and what do you do for a living
  Bank Robber: I'm Robin Banks
• Did you hear about the bank robbers who got away in Iran last week? The police are investigating several Persians of Interest.
• Bank robbers... Three criminals robbed a bank. The police tried to catch them, but the robbers were too quick and turned in to a bad area laundrette.
  They made a clean ghetto way.
• According to the news, there's a clairvoyant bank robber with dwarfism on the loose in my hometown. They said to keep an eye-out for a Small Medium at Large.
• A group of amateur bank robbers plan their first heist, but only have post-it notes to work with. Should be easy enough to pull off.
• Being A Bank Robber Was Fun But my new job as a bakery robber really takes the cake.

Armed Robber Jokes

Here is a list of funny armed robber jokes and even better armed robber puns that will make you laugh with friends.

• Funny joke, I think. A robber who had no arms tried to rob me, good thing he was unarmed.
• Armed robbers. Some say they're a drain on society. But you've got to give it to them...
• What do you call a person that commits a robbery with his bare hands? An armed robber..
• What's the difference between an unarmed black man and an armed robber on the run? How should I know, I'm just a cop!
• A one-armed man was robbed The robber said "stick it up"
• Cemetry at midnight is the only place in the world where... A couple of armed robbers will scare you less than a little lonely girl in a white dress.

Grave Robber Jokes

Here is a list of funny grave robber jokes and even better grave robber puns that will make you laugh with friends.

• How did the grave robber perish when he became trapped in a pyramid? He died of asphinxiation!
• Dirty hands are a sign of clean money.... Unless you're a grave robber
• What's the difference between an archaeologist and a grave robber? The robber does the crime, then does the time. The archaeologist does the time, then the crime.
• What do a bad author and a grave robber have in common? They both create a lot of plotholes.
• Grave robber grave robber: oh no i dug up the wrong grave
  me, rising from my coffin: you should have said you made a grave mistake
• Why are grave robbers no fun at parties? The are serious criminals.
• What did the grave robber say to his gym buddy in the locker room? I'm gonna get some head tonight.

Hilarious Fun Robber Jokes to Bring Joy & Laughter with Friends

What funny jokes about robber you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean robbing house jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make robber pranks.