Robbed Jokes
111 robbed jokes and hilarious robbed puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about robbed that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
Funniest Robbed Short Jokes
Short robbed jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The robbed humour may include short robbing jokes also.
- Last night a movie theater was robbed of over $1000 dollars. The thieves took one large bag of popcorn, two large sodas and a pack of Skittles.
- Two robbers were robbing a liquor store when one robber grabs a bottle and asks the other robber "is this whiskey?" The other says "yeah but not as whiskey as wobbing a bank"
- Two burglars are robbing a liquor store. One turns to the other and asks, "Is this whiskey?"
The other replies, "Yeah, but not as wisky as wobbing a bank." - After calling 5 different home security companies... ....I've decided it's cheaper to get robbed.
- Who is this Rorschach guy??? And why did he paint so many pictures of my parents fighting?
-Rob DenBleyker - Yesterday I robbed the oversized board game store It was a huge Risk that I was willing to take
- Two men are robbing a liquor store… One says, 'Is this whisky?'
'Yes', the other replies, 'but not as whisky as wobbing a bank' - A local theater was just robbed of $286 the other day... ...The thieves stole one large drink, a large popcorn, and a candy bar.
- A psychiatrist finds a man lying by the road who has been robbed and beaten senseless. The psychiatrist says, "My god, whoever did this needs help!"
- Give a man a gun, he'll rob a bank Teach a man to run a bank, he'll rob the American people.
Share These Robbed Jokes With Friends
Robbed One Liners
Which robbed one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with robbed? I can suggest the ones about robber and mugged.
- Give a man a gun and he'll rob a bank, Give a man a bank and he'll rob the world.
- If I had a dollar for every racist thing I said a black guy would probably rob me.
- If I got $1 every time somebody called me a racist black people would rob me
- If you watch an Apple store get robbed, Does that make you an iWitness?
- In Soviet Russia, you rob banks... in Capitalist America, banks rob you!
- How many Lowes would Rob Lowe rob if Rob Lowe could rob Lowes? Who Knowes
- What did the redditor say after robbing a jewellery store?
- Give a man a gun and he will rob a bank Give a man a bank and he will rob everyone
- What do you call it when a white person robs you? Capitalism.
- An Apple store I was at today just got robbed. I guess that makes me an iWitness.
- I just saw an apple store getting robbed So later the police called me as an iwitness.
- Rob zombie is opening an authentic Chinese restaurant It's called 'More Hunan Than Hunan'
- Why couldn't the amputee rob the bank... Because he was unarmed
- Why do people rob 7/11 instead of restaurants? Because it's more convenient.
- In London, a man gets robbed every 4.5 minutes. And he's getting fed up with it.
Robbed Bank Jokes
Here is a list of funny robbed bank jokes and even better robbed bank puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- I asked God for money I later found out that God doesn't work that way.
So I robbed a bank, then asked for forgiveness. - A man tries to rob a bank Man: "Where is the money!"
Teller:
Man: "Where is the money!"
Teller:
Penn: "He always does this." - A young man robbed a bank wearing a suit made of many mirrors But he turned himself in after taking some time to reflect.
Luckily the judge was lenient as he saw a lot of himself in the young man. - Give a man a gun and he'll rob a bank once. Give a man a bank... ... and he'll rob everyone for the rest of their lives
- I tried to rob a bank using jello cast in the shape of a gun The police charged me with carrying a congealed weapon
- Did you hear about the baker who robbed a bank? He came in with buns glazing.
- What's the hardest part about being black and jewish? Having to rob your own banks.
- Two Chinese guys rob a brewery. The one asks the other, "Is this whiskey?" The other man replies, "Not as whiskey as whobbing a bank."
- Two Chinese men are robbing a distillary The first one says "it this whiskey?"
The second replies "yes, but not as whiskey as wobbing a bank" - Two men are robbing a liquor store... The other one asks: "Isn't this whisky?"
The other answers: "Well, it's less whisky than a bank whobbewy."
Silly & Ridiculous Robbed Jokes to Spread Joy & Laughter
What funny jokes about robbed you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean scammed jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make robbed pranks.
One shop owner turns and asks another...
So, have you had any reactions yet to your ad that you're looking for a night guard?
He replied.
Yeah, we got robbed tonight.
Daylight robbery...
I got robbed today at Shell gas station.
I called the cops, and they asked if I knew who did it.
I said, "Yeah, pump 6."
My local movie theater was robbed of $200 last night.
They stole a tub of popcorn, two sodas and a box of Milk Duds.
A hobo got robbed
A hobo had been robbed and beaten into unconciousnes.
When he woke up he checked about his person for damages and missing items, and found that all injuries were superficial but he had lost all his belongings.
He stormed into the nearest police station.
"I want to report a robbery! all my 53 belongings have been stolen from me!"
"How can you be so sure about the number of the stolen items?" the officer asks sceptically with a raised eyebrow.
"It was a deck of cards and a bottle opener!"
I just successfully robbed a bank!
Now what to do with all this s**......
Did you hear about the three Mexicans who robbed a bank?
One of them was captured but the other two vanished without a tres.
So a sloth got robbed by 3 turtles...
When the cops asked him what happened the sloth said,
It. all. happened. so. fast.
The Apple store in town got robbed last night
the police have sent out an appeal for iWitnesses
I don't use pepper spray when I'm being robbed
I just open my wallet and blow the dust into their eyes.
Campus bookstore robbed
The Campus bookstore was just robbed of $25000. The criminal was seen taking a sweatshirt and 4 textbooks
If life was like middle school
Judge: In all my years on the bench, I have never seen a more despicable criminal. You robbed, assaulted, and tortured the victim simply for the thrill of it. Do you have anything to say before I sentence you?
Criminal: Nope
Judge: I hereby sentence you to forty years in a maximum security prison. I also sentence the victim to forty years in prison.
Victim: Wait- what? That doesn't make any sense! *He* attacked *me*!
Judge: I don't care who started it.
I went to go see a psychic the other day..
I asked her if I'd ever be going to jail some time in the future. She said no, so I robbed her.
I've just been robbed by a Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle
Though ironically, he wasn't wearing a mask so I don't know which one he was.
A blonde, a brunette, and a red head just robbed a bank.
They run into a barn to hide from the cops chasing them. Each of them jumps into an empty burlap sack when the cops come in.
The cops see the bags so they inspect them. The cops shakes the red head's bag. "Woof woof !" Says the red head. So the cops move on, thinking that it's just the farmer's dog.
The cops shake the brunette's bag. "Meow!" Says the brunette. So the cops move on.
The cops approach the third sack and shake the bag. The blonde yells "potatoes!"
An Apple store got robbed last night and $250,000 worth of equipment was stolen.
Police are confident they can recover both the stolen machines.
If I had a dollar for every time I said a racist comment, I would have 0 dollars
Because some black guy would have robbed me
A sloth was robbed by 2 turtles
Sloth robbed by 2 turtles. Cop asks if he could describe the assailants. Sloth replies, "It all happened so fast."
Apple Store robbed
The Apple Store in Regents Street, London, was robbed this morning. Police are appealing for an iWitness!
When I was younger, I always heard of people getting robbed at gunpoint.
If there's been so many robberies, why do people keep going to gunpoint?
I robbed a cookery shop last night...
to make it big you've got to take some whisks.
A local movie theatre was robbed of $600 worth of merchandise
The suspects stole 3 medium popcorns, 1 bag of skittles and 4 small diet cokes.
Did you know you're 10 times more likely to be robbed in your home town than in New York city?
That's because you don't live in New York City
A man robbed me of all my milk, cream, cheese, and butter.
How dairy..
An Apple store near where I live got robbed
$25k worth of merchandise was stolen. The police said that they will get both computers back.
A movie theater was robbed of $150 worth of candy
The thieves took 2 bags of M n' Ms and a small soda
How do you know if an Asian person has robbed your house?
When you come home, your math homework is done, your computer is upgraded, and they're still trying to back out of the driveway.
Drive through counter was being robbed...
While she was held at gunpoint, a cop car shows up at the counter.
Cops : Can we have 2 burgers.
Lady : give the burgers casually and passes a note that says "we have two armed men inside"
Cops : *reads the note* ofcourse they are two armed, how can one armed men make burgers O__o
A Jew gets robbed
The thief points a gun threateningly at the Jew, "Your money or your life!"
The Jew stops in his tracks and does nothing.
The thief waves the gun. "I said, your money or your life!!!!"
The Jew says, "I'm thinking, I'm thinking!"
Did you hear about the one-armed man that robbed the bank?
He did it single-handedly.
A woman was robbed...
...but upon coming home she discovered that nothing was stolen apart from her lightbulbs.
She was delighted
John robbed some coffee from Starbucks the other day.
The police are charging him for mugging.
Breaking News: A movie theatre has just been robbed of over two thousand dollars
The theives took a large soda and two bags of popcorn
A group of teenagers robbed our local supermarket and stole 180 cans of red bull.
I don't know how these people can sleep at night.
If I had a dollar for every racist comment I ever made.....
I'd probably get robbed by a black guy.
To the software thieves who robbed me last night.
Don't think you can get away with taking Microsoft Office away from me. I will find you. You have my Word.
My local cinema was robbed last night of £754.
The thieves took a bag of maltesers, a pick n mix and a large drink...
A n**... woman robbed a bank..
No one could remember her face.
The FBI is interviewing a bank manager who's been robbed 3 times by the same guy.
The agent says, "did you notice anything distinct about him when he came into the bank?"
Manager replies, "only that each time he showed up, he was much better dressed."
The Scrabble museum was robbed last night.
the curators are at a loss for words.
I robbed an ohmless man last night.
There was no resistance
Some dude broke into my house and robbed me of my limbo stick.
Seriously how low could he go?
A man was walking in the street one day when he was brutally beaten and robbed.
A psychologist ran up to him and exclaimed, "My God! Whoever did this really needs help!"
Three men meet a genie and are given a single wish.
The first man wishes to be invisible, p**...! he turns invisible but gets run over by a truck and drops down dead.
The second man wishes for 100 million dollars, p**...! he gets the money but is robbed and shot and drops down dead.
The third man sees this and figures out that the other men were selfish and that's what got them killed so he wishes for world peace, p**...! and 7.3 billion people drop down dead.
I work at Ben & j**...'s, often late at night, but never get robbed.
Because ice cream.
Desperate for money, I robbed a bank today. My heart sank when I heard a voice boom, "This is the police! We have all the exits surrounded, so come out with your hands up!"
I escaped through the entrance...
A man was delighted when his home was robbed
Every lamp in the house had been stolen.
It's getting real bad here in California. I just got robbed at the gas station. I called the cops and they asked if I knew who did it.
"It was pump #5," I replied.
Someone stole my pen today.
I was robbed at ballpoint.
Did you guys hear that Nicolas Cage robbed all the coins from a bank recently? Luckily he got caught and went to jail, plus all of the money got returned!
He's currently in a Nickleless Nicolas Cage Cage
I saw an old man get robbed by three guys today, so I decided to step in.
He didn't stand a chance against the four of us!
A pregnant woman walks into a bank being robbed,
She tried to call the cops and got shot in the stomach three times. Luckily, all her children were safe.
15 years later, one of her daughters came up to her and said, "Mom, I was peeing and a bullet came out." So, she told her daughter the story.
Then, her other daughter walked into the room and she said, "Mom, I was peeing and a bullet came out." So, she told her daughter the story.
Finally, her son came in and she assumed she knew what he was going to say, "Let me guess, you were peeing and a bullet came out?"
The son replied, "No, what? I was m**... and I shot the dog."
A guys house gets robbed
A guys house gets robbed. All the thief took was every single lamp in the house. You'd expect the house owner to be mad. But no. He was quite delighted.
Did you hear about the michael jackson impersonator who expertly robbed a bank?
He was a smooth criminal
When I got my license I didn't have money for a car, so I robbed a bank. Anyway, as I was being dragged off to jail my mother wanted to know why I did it. So I told her the truth:
"I did it for the car, ma!"
If banks have a penny for every time they robbed someone ...
Oh wait, they do.
Somebody robbed the police department yesterday and stole all the toilets
Sadly, the detectives have nothing to go on
Dave was getting robbed in the desert
he gave the robber his money and asked the robber shoot a few bullets in his hat to make it believable to his wife that he was robbed.
he then asked," shoot a few bullets in the coat while you're at it, I want to look like I fought you and not look like a coward"
after the robber shot the coat, he said, "shoot a few holes-"
"please, no more holes, I'm out of bullets"
"that's what I wanted to hear. now give me back the wallet and some more money for the hat and coat you destroyed before I beat you black and blue"
A social worker joke
A man was robbed, beaten badly, and left in the gutter along a lonely street. After being there for hours, two social workers walk by and notice the beaten man. They look him over, see his injuries, and one says to the other, the person who did this could really use our help
Only a bank ATM will charge you $3 to get your money back
Then tell you to cover your pin so you don't get robbed.
Did you hear about the woman who was robbed by an unemployed acupuncturist?
She was stabbed more than 167 times but she felt awesome the next day.
I robbed a bakery today.
It was dangerous, but I took the whisk.
A movie theater in my town was recently robbed of over $20,000 of merchandise
The thieves apparently stole 5 popcorn/soda combos and 10 boxes of Raisinets.
A tortoise is crossing the road when he is robbed by two snails.
When the police show up, they ask the tortoise if he can identify the culprits.
The tortoise, still shaking from the incident, cries 'It all happened so fast!'.
I went to see a psychic the other day. I asked her if I was going to jail some time in the future. She said no, so I robbed her.
Bet she didn't see that coming.
Gas station robbery
First off…I am ok. I was just robbed at the Shell station in Tampa. After my hands stopped shaking, I managed to call the Sheriff, they were quick to respond and calmed me down. My money is gone, the police asked me if I knew who did it. I said yes, it was pump number 5.
If Dire Straits robbed a grocery store
They'd get honey for nothin' and chips for free.
A Bear tells Stories to his Grandchild
"Tell us about the time you nearly robbed a bank!", asks little Billy.
"Well," says the bear, "I walked into the bank with my gun and told everyone to put their hands up"
"Then what happened?" asked Billy
The bear, visibly scared, responds, "I don't know, they all got really big so I ran away"
Warning: 2 professional women thieves
Guys, recently are 2 good looking women robbing people on the street, while one makes out with you, the other robs your stuff, be careful guys, i have already been robbed 6 times
The other day my house caught fire.
The insurance agent said, "Shouldn't be a problem. What kind of coverage do you have?" I said, "Fire and theft." Insurance agent frowned. "Uh oh. Wrong kind. Should be fire OR theft." Apparently, the only way I can make a claim with this coverage is if the house is robbed WHILE it's burning down.
Snail gets robbed by a tortoise.
Police come and asks the snail can you tell us what happened? Snail says I don't know man it all happened so fast.
After seeing the price of insurance these days
I've decided it's cheaper to just get robbed
