Robbed Bank Jokes
128 robbed bank jokes and hilarious robbed bank puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about robbed bank that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
Funniest Robbed Bank Short Jokes
Short robbed bank jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The robbed bank humour may include short bank rob jokes also.
- Two robbers were robbing a liquor store when one robber grabs a bottle and asks the other robber "is this whiskey?" The other says "yeah but not as whiskey as wobbing a bank"
- I asked God for money I later found out that God doesn't work that way.
So I robbed a bank, then asked for forgiveness. - A man tries to rob a bank Man: "Where is the money!"
Teller:
Man: "Where is the money!"
Teller:
Penn: "He always does this." - A young man robbed a bank wearing a suit made of many mirrors But he turned himself in after taking some time to reflect.
Luckily the judge was lenient as he saw a lot of himself in the young man. - I tried to rob a bank using jello cast in the shape of a gun The police charged me with carrying a congealed weapon
- Two Chinese guys rob a brewery. The one asks the other, "Is this whiskey?" The other man replies, "Not as whiskey as whobbing a bank."
- Two men are robbing a liquor store... The other one asks: "Isn't this whisky?"
The other answers: "Well, it's less whisky than a bank whobbewy." - Only a bank ATM will charge you $3 to get your money back Then tell you to cover your pin so you don't get robbed.
- Did you hear about the three Mexicans who robbed a bank? One of them was captured but the other two vanished without a tres.
- What did the pizza maker say before robbing a bank? "I may love making pizza, but I still knead the dough."
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Robbed Bank One Liners
Which robbed bank one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with robbed bank? I can suggest the ones about bank robber and bank heist.
- Give a man a gun and he'll rob a bank, Give a man a bank and he'll rob the world.
- In Soviet Russia, you rob banks... in Capitalist America, banks rob you!
- Give a man a gun and he will rob a bank Give a man a bank and he will rob everyone
- Why couldn't the amputee rob the bank... Because he was unarmed
- Did you hear about the baker who robbed a bank? He came in with buns glazing.
- Why did the baker rob the bank? Because he kneads the dough.
- I decided to rob a blood bank They caught me red-handed.
- If banks have a penny for every time they robbed someone ... Oh wait, they do.
- Did you hear about the one-armed man that robbed the bank? He did it single-handedly.
- If a bank gets robbed by ghosts, then it's a Polterheist.
- What do you call a fruit that has been caught for bank robbing? a waterfelon
- What happened after the word bank was robbed? There was a run on sentences.
- A Reddit user robs a bank. Thanks for the gold, kind stranger!
- Why snakes can't rob a bank? Because they are unarmed
- In capitalist America... Bank robs you!
Share Hilarious Robbed Bank Jokes and Enjoy Unforgettable Laughter
What funny jokes about robbed bank you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean robbing house jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make robbed bank pranks.
I think it's ironic that the principles from "The Wealth of Nations" is bank robbing our society.
An FBI agent was interviewing a bank teller after the bank had been robbed 3 times by the same bandit:
"Did you notice anything special about the man?" asks the agent.
"Yes," replied the teller. "He was better dressed each time."
If he wanted to, Chuck Norris could rob a bank.
By phone.
Who robs banks and squirts ink?
Billy the Squid.
practicing with the violin
A little boy goes to his weekly violin lesson, but when he opens the violin case he blurts out a curse, and slams the case shut again.
"What's wrong?" asks the teacher.
"It seems my father is going to rob the bank with my violin"
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I just successfully robbed a bank!
Now what to do with all this s**......
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Robbing a bank in Greece is like raiding a food warehouse in Uganda.
You look s**... and you get nothing out of it.
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Poison Ivy and Harley Quinn decide to go rob a bank.
"Now, remember the plan," Ivy tells Harley.
"Yeah, yeah, no problem!" She says, and walks into the bank. Ivy waits in the getaway car.
Time passes. Five minutes...ten...Ivy starts getting worried...fifteen...
Suddenly Harley comes rushing out of the bank, dragging a safe behind her all t**... in rope. Behing her, the guard comes running out with his pants down.
Ivy groans. "Harley, you idiot! I said to tie up the guard and blow the safe!
Making Sense of What's Happening in Europe
A policeman enters an interrogation room, in Athens, Greece.
He tells the perp: "You are accused of robbing the Bank of Greece, tell us where the money is!"
The perp reaches into his pocket and takes out a five-euro note.
"Here you go."
Did you hear the one about the three russians who robbed a bank?
The first was Stalin the cops, the second was Putin the money in the bag, and the third was Lenin a hand to the second.
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Masked man robs a s**... bank...
... He approaches the safe with a gun and yells at the nurse,
"Open up this safe!"
Nurse replied in fear, "But sir this is a s**... bank, we don't have any money here."
I said open up this safe now!" he yelled again and the nurse opened it up.
"Now drink this viel!"
"But sir this is s**...!"
"I said drink!" and the nurse drank with disgust.
"Drink another!" and she emptied another viel with less resistance.
The robber reveals his face and nurse found out that the robber was actually her husband.
"Now Sharon, was it really that hard?"
A golden joke...
Did you hear about the man who robbed the bank? He went up to the cashier and demanded all the gold. When the thief ran away, the cashier yelled, "A u!"
A blonde and a brunette decide to rob a bank...
The brunette is the getaway driver. She told the plan to the blonde, told her to be back in less than 5 minutes, and dropped her off at the front door of the bank.
10 minutes goes by.... No sight of the blonde...
20 minutes goes by... No sight of the blonde...
Finally, after a half hour the blonde comes running out of the bank, dragging the safe by a long rope. As soon as the blonde gets into the car, the brunette sees the guard running as fast as he can towards them, with his pants at his ankles...
After a few moments of silence, the brunette realizes what happened and screamed to the blonde, " You IDIOT! You were supposed to tie up the guard and blow the safe!!!"
Why did I rob the bank?
For Fundsies!
I made that one up yesterday so I really hope nobody has heard it before.
Watch out for the black ice outside of the bank.
It'll rob you of your balance.
I wonder if they got jokes in Russia about "capitalistic America"...
In capitalistic America, bank robs you!
A blonde, a brunette, and a red head just robbed a bank.
They run into a barn to hide from the cops chasing them. Each of them jumps into an empty burlap sack when the cops come in.
The cops see the bags so they inspect them. The cops shakes the red head's bag. "Woof woof !" Says the red head. So the cops move on, thinking that it's just the farmer's dog.
The cops shake the brunette's bag. "Meow!" Says the brunette. So the cops move on.
The cops approach the third sack and shake the bag. The blonde yells "potatoes!"
Some guys robbed a bank, and to escape, they blew a hole in the wall...
the police are looking into it.
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o**... Bin Laden, Josef Stalin and h**... are robbing a bank, who do the cops shoot first?
A black guy
Did you hear about the identical twins who robbed a bank?
After they were caught, they finished each other's sentences.
I've been arrested for robbing a bank dressed as a frog.
It's the first time I've ever kermitted a crime.
Why did the mathematician rob the bank?
For-moolah. (Formula)
TIL J. Cole robbed a bank and was never caught despite there being several witnesses
When police sketch artists asked witnesses for a description of the robber they said he had no features.
A man with no arms robs a bank in Germany...
He was easy to arrest because he was unarmed.
An old man goes to rob a bank...
He walks up to the teller, raises his walking stick up into the air and shouts "This is a stick up!"
BREAKING: A Tiny Fortune Teller Has Robbed a Bank And Is Now On The Loose!
The headline reads: Small Medium At Large!
In communist america
Banks rob you.
Did you know that Bob Ross secretly conducted bank heists?
He was the Rob Boss.
A sodium ion went to rob a bank.
It was charged, without a doubt.
A man gets arrested for stealing crops on the river Nile.
It's like he robbed a bank or something!
Why was the thief who tried to rob a Zimbabwean bank acquitted?
He was shown to be criminally insane.
A Man named McMurphy is accused of robbing a bank...
On the last day of his trial, the foreman of the jury stands up.
"Have you reached a verdict?" asked the judge.
"We have your honor..." replied the foreman. "Not guilty!"
"Excellent!" shouted McMurphy "Does that mean i get to keep the money?"
I wanted Obi-Wan to help me rob a bank...
so I said "you in McGregor?"
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What's it called when a p**... robs a bank?
A h**...'d up.
The janitor at the bank managed to rob 21 million dollars.
He made a clean getaway!
Did you hear about the two owls who agreed to rob a bank together?
They were in co-hoots.
Detective asked why I tried robbing the bank. I said it was a prank
"but you succeeded 4 times before"
"well, that makes it a prank that went wrong"
A man robs a bank to get away from his wife...
As he sat on the steps of the bank waiting for the police to come he was relieved with thoughts of never having to see his wife again.
Later In the court room waiting for his ruling, he was excited to finally be somewhere far far away from her.
Seeing this the judge thought of the worst possible sentence that he can give him.
He was given 2 years house arrest.
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I went to investigate a nearby bank that was recently robbed by the workers there...
They basically sold out a bunch of suckers.
How did the cross-dresser rob the bank?
By making a Trans-action
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Bank robbery suspect
A bank in Manhattan was robbed by a n**... woman yesterday.
"It is likely she'll never be caught" said Police "No one could remember her face."
My Mother-in-law robbed a bank and is on the run from the police
Now she's my Mother-out-law
A bank robber is robbing a bank
Robber: Put all the money in this bag or you're geography.
Banker: Don't you mean 'history'?
Robber: Don't change the subject!
A man in France tried to rob a bank using underwear as a mask...
...the cops put him in jail right after a quick debriefing.
Did you hear of the American who robbed a bank in Latvia?
Turns out potatoes aren't a valid currency in the US.
The FBI is interviewing a bank manager who's been robbed 3 times by the same guy.
The agent says, "did you notice anything distinct about him when he came into the bank?"
Manager replies, "only that each time he showed up, he was much better dressed."
A group dressed in panda masks tried to rob a bank...
It was an embarrassment.
What's the difference between a bank and a bank robber?
Give a man a gun and he can rob a bank, but give a man a bank and he can rob the whole world.
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What does a snow man say when he's robbing a bank?
Stick 'em up!
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I tried to rob a s**... bank
But had to make a break for it because I heard the cops coming.
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Four robber are robbing a bank
After opening the safe, the only thing they found is a box with about 200 yogurts. Furious because they didn't find the money, they eat all the 200 yogurts, thinking it'd upset the owner. As they were leaving, they ask the security where was all the money, to which the security answered: "What do you mean where's all the money? This is a s**... bank"
My fortune cookie told me today to not worry about money because the best things in life are free...
I think the cookie is telling me to rob a bank.
Was in line at the bank today
When a man walked in wearing sunglasses and holding a white and red walking stick, demanding all our money.
He was robbing us blind!
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Did you hear about the irish dwarf whose hand fell off while robbing a bank on St. Patty's Day?
He's a l**... con
Who told the christian to rob a bank?
Jesus Heist
Did you hear about the cheetah who robbed a bank?
He ran away so fast that he almost got away with it, but he was spotted.
A bad speller tried to rob a bank.
He came in wearing a baklava.
Desperate for money, I robbed a bank today. My heart sank when I heard a voice boom, "This is the police! We have all the exits surrounded, so come out with your hands up!"
I escaped through the entrance...
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They just caught the guy who robbed the s**... bank.
Now it's on his spermanent record.
Indians Robbing a Bank
An Indian man tries to rob a bank. He walks out of the bank with no money. The getaway driver asks him Where's the money? And why do you have so many computers? The bank robber replies They thougth I was tech support.
What's a bank robbing dogs favorite weapon?
A pawed-off shotgun.
He's so lazy, that if he robbed a bank he wouldn't even count the money.
He'd just wait to find out in the news report.
A Vampire walks into a bank and pulls a gun out
Hands up, this is a robbery! He declares, as he starts forcing the teller to fill a sack with cash.
One of the customers, cracking slightly under the pressure asks; Hey, shouldn't you be robbing a blood bank?
The vampire turns to them and grins.
No, see, I'm cursed. He explains.
Cursed?
Yep, I can only feed on smartasses, and there's always at least one when I pull this stunt.
A man with terminal cancer robbed a bank and was sent to prison.
A fellow inmate asked him, "Why did you commit this crime? You can't take money with you into the afterlife, and now you're going to spend your last days in prison!"
The man replied, "I knew I was going to get caught. That's the point! My doctor gave me six months, but the judge gave me thirty years."
Did you guys hear that Nicolas Cage robbed all the coins from a bank recently? Luckily he got caught and went to jail, plus all of the money got returned!
He's currently in a Nickleless nicolas cage Cage
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What do you call a group of friends who rob a s**... bank together?
A cumrobbery...
I've never seen a moccasin.
But I once saw a Cappuccino rob a bank.