The Best 56 Rob Jokes

Following is our collection of funny Rob jokes. There are some rob chris jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud.

Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these rob iwitness puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.

Top 10 of the Funniest Rob Jokes and Puns

Give a man a gun and he'll rob a bank,

Give a man a bank and he'll rob the world.

If I had a dollar for every racist thing I said

a black guy would probably rob me.

If I got $1 every time somebody called me a racist

black people would rob me

Who is this Rorschach guy???

And why did he paint so many pictures of my parents fighting?

-Rob DenBleyker

A man runs into a bank, pulls out a gun and robs the teller. He then turns the gun on the on the first man standing in the tellers line and asks, "Did you see me rob this bank?"

The man stammered, "Yes."

Bang!  The robber shoots him.

He then turns the gun on the married couple next in line, points the gun at the husband and demands, "Did you see me rob this bank?"
The husband quickly responds, "No....but my wife did!"


In Soviet Russia, you rob banks...

in Capitalist America, banks rob you!

Give a man a gun, he'll rob a bank

Teach a man to run a bank, he'll rob the American people.

How many Lowes would Rob Lowe rob if Rob Lowe could rob Lowes?

Who Knowes

A man tries to rob a bank

Man: "Where is the money!"

Teller:

Man: "Where is the money!"

Teller:

Penn: "He always does this."

Poison Ivy and Harley Quinn decide to go rob a bank.

"Now, remember the plan," Ivy tells Harley.

"Yeah, yeah, no problem!" She says, and walks into the bank. Ivy waits in the getaway car.
Time passes. Five minutes...ten...Ivy starts getting worried...fifteen...
Suddenly Harley comes rushing out of the bank, dragging a safe behind her all tied up in rope. Behing her, the guard comes running out with his pants down.

Ivy groans. "Harley, you idiot! I said to tie up the guard and blow the safe!

Give a man a gun and he will rob a bank

Give a man a bank and he will rob everyone

You can explore rob geoff reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean rob dave dad jokes. There are also rob puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.


I watched two guys rob an Apple Store today. The police caught them.

I'm going to be an iWitness at the trial

Detroit is a such a dangerous city...

You can't even let your kids out at night.
The might rob someone.

Everyone knows comedian Bill Burr, most don't realize he has a huge family with lots of talent.

His mother, Barb, is a famous hair stylist.

Rob, his brother is in jail for theft.

His sister Cally is a great gunsmith.

Lastly, don't forget about his cousin the famous lumberjack, Tim.

If Adam Sandler, Rob Schneider and Dennis Dugan are in a plane and the plane crashes, who will survive?

American comedy films.

Why couldn't the amputee rob the bank...

Because he was unarmed

I'm not one to brag about my financial skills,

but my credit card company calls me almost every day to tell me my balance is outstanding.

Give a man a gun and he'll rob a bank once. Give a man a bank...

... and he'll rob everyone for the rest of their lives

I tried to rob a bank using jello cast in the shape of a gun

The police charged me with carrying a congealed weapon


Why do people rob 7/11 instead of restaurants?

Because it's more convenient.

Guy robs a bank...

While holding all of the customers hostage, he asks one guy, "Did you see me rob this bank?" The customer says that he did and the robber shoots him in the head.

He then asks another customer, "did you see me rob this bank?" and the guy says, "no, but my wife did."

I begin to carry a knife since a robbery attempt a few years ago

Since them, is being a lot easier to rob people

practicing with the violin

A little boy goes to his weekly violin lesson, but when he opens the violin case he blurts out a curse, and slams the case shut again.

"What's wrong?" asks the teacher.

"It seems my father is going to rob the bank with my violin"

A blonde and a brunette decide to rob a bank...

The brunette is the getaway driver. She told the plan to the blonde, told her to be back in less than 5 minutes, and dropped her off at the front door of the bank.

10 minutes goes by.... No sight of the blonde...
20 minutes goes by... No sight of the blonde...

Finally, after a half hour the blonde comes running out of the bank, dragging the safe by a long rope. As soon as the blonde gets into the car, the brunette sees the guard running as fast as he can towards them, with his pants at his ankles...

After a few moments of silence, the brunette realizes what happened and screamed to the blonde, " You IDIOT! You were supposed to tie up the guard and blow the safe!!!"

What's the hardest part about being black and jewish?

Having to rob your own banks.

Two Chinese guys rob a brewery. The one asks the other, "Is this whiskey?"

The other man replies, "Not as whiskey as whobbing a bank."

Why did the Mexican guy rob a train?

He had a loco motive.

A group of midgets were planning to rob a butcher's...

But the steaks were just too high.

Indians Robbing a Bank

An Indian man tries to rob a bank. He walks out of the bank with no money. The getaway driver asks him Where's the money? And why do you have so many computers? The bank robber replies They thougth I was tech support.

Why did the baker rob the bank?

Because he kneads the dough.

Guy robs a bank

Throw the bag at the teller and says fill it up. She does so and he turns around to the person behind him and says
"Did u see me rob the bank?"
Person says "yes".
Bang shoots him dead.
Goes up to the next couple.
" Did u see me rob the bank?"
Guy says "I must have missed it, but my wife saw the whole thing!"

A Sentimental Robber

A robber goes into a house to, well, rob the place. There he finds a man and his wife. He goes to the woman and says, "I will have to kill you. What's your name?" She replies, "E...E...Elizabeth." "I can't kill you, that's my grandmothers name!" said the robber. He looks at the man and asks for his name. The man replies, "Jim, but uhhh most people call me **Elizabeth**."

I live in such a dangerous part of town that I don't let my kids go out in the evening.

They might just rob someone.

I decided to rob a blood bank

They caught me red-handed.

A robber decides to rob a house.

He comes in silently, doesn't turn on any lights, and starts to look for the valuables. In one room, he suddenly hears a voice say I can see you! And Jesus can see you too! The robber looks around frantically in the dark, when he hears the same voice, again say I can see you! And Jesus can see you too! The robber takes out his flashlight, and turns it on to see a parrot. He breathes a sigh of relief, and taunts by saying You're just a parrot. What are you going to do? The parrot responds I may be just a parrot, but Jesus is a Doberman.

If Niger had two Gs...

It would be Nigerg.

That'd be stupid.

(originally by Rob Delaney)

Nobody I talked to thought it was a good idea to rob a bakery

But it was a whisk I was willing to take

A man in France tried to rob a bank using underwear as a mask...

...the cops put him in jail right after a quick debriefing.

How many Lowe's

How many Lowe's can Rob Lowe rob if Rob Lowe could rob Lowe's

So a guy robs a bank...

When he runs out and down the street, he comes across another guy walking the opposite direction.

Robber points his gun at the man and says "Hey, did you see me rob that bank?"
Guy says "Yes."

The robber shoots him and runs down the street.

He comes across a man and his wife walking toward him.

The robber points his gun at them and says "Did you see me rob that bank?"

The husband points to his wife and says "No, but she did!"

When I was 22 I lived a life of crime.

I'm 29 now, but back then I would dress up as Abraham Lincoln and rob convenience stores.

I robbed four stores seven years ago.

A teacher is giving a lesson when suddenly she hears someone scream outside the classroom.

She rushes out the door to find one of her students on the ground crying.

Teacher: Oh my God, what happened?!

Student: Someone just pulled a gun on me and tried to rob me!

Teacher: Oh my God, are you okay?

Student: Yes. All they took was my homework.

I tried to rob a sperm bank

But had to make a break for it because I heard the cops coming.

When the robber tried to rob a board game store at gunpoint..

He was asking for trouble

Linkin Park fought among themselves in choosing which ocean to take a cruise on.

The Pacific ocean was favored by Chester. The Atlantic was desired by Mike. The Arctic was appealing to Rob and Brad because it is an ocean they've never been to before. The Antarctic was chosen by Dave and Joe because they've heard tales of great sea creatures to see in that area. With great argument, they decided against them all.
Indian, it didn't even matter.

Why did a Hispanic man rob a train?

He had loco motives!

A man with a gun goes into a bank and demands money.

Once he is given
the money, he turns to a customer and asks,' Did you see me rob this
bank?'The man replied, 'Yes sir, I did.'
The robber then shot him and killed him instantly. He then turned to a couple standing next to him and asked the man,
'Did you see me rob this bank?'
The man replied, 'No sir, I didn't, but my wife did!

What's the difference between a bank and a bank robber?

Give a man a gun and he can rob a bank, but give a man a bank and he can rob the whole world.

After 3 weeks at sea, the captain speaks to the oarmen. "I know its been rough seas, and tough rowing, but I've got some good news and bad news for you. The good news is you all get to change underwear....

...the bad news is, George you change with Bob. James, you change with Bill. John, you change with Ed, Rob you change.........."

Rob Lowe, Sarah Jessica Parker, and Robert Downey Jr. Walk up to the bar at the Governors Ball....

The bartender looks at Sarah Jessica Parker and says "Why the long face?"

My boys and I plan to rob the super glue factory..

By the way the plan looks, things will be hard to pull off.

John, Bob, Tim, and Scott rob a bank.

John is the getaway driver who waits in the lot. Bob disables the alarms, Tim unlocks the safe, and Scott is able to locate the marked bills. Bob and Tim leave the bank and John drives them away.

They got off Scott-free.

It's so cold outside....

You could rob me with a bucket of water right now!!

It was 11 years ago today

My friend Rob came running in the room, tears in his eyes, shouting "It's a boy it's a boy". We never went back to Thailand

Why snakes can't rob a bank?

Because they are unarmed

Two mexicans attempted to rob an old train for its parts

Authorities say it's a loco motive

Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the rob jon jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, are mean or racist, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become bullying and inappropriate.

We suggest to use only working rob chyna piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.

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