roasted Jokes

funny pick up lines and hilarious roasted puns

why dont jewish people like getting made fun of?

Because millions of them already got roasted


Three cowboys are standing around a fire... stories about how tough and manly they are.

The first cowboy says, "Well I was ridin' the trail the other day, and was lettin' my horse rest, when a coral snake bit me on the leg. I sucked the poison out, then I roasted that sumbitch and ate him for dinner."

The second cowboy said, "Hell, that ain't nothin'. I got caught in a blizzard, and a bobcat leapt at me from outta nowhere. I caught it, ripped it apart with my bare hands, and made a pair of boots with its skin."

The third cowboy didn't say a word, just looked at the other two and continued stirring the fire with his dick...


I like my women like i like my coffee...

...Always there to brighten my morning


...Black and strong




...With sauce

...Twice before I leave the house

...Right before I smoke

...Bitter and cold

...At the end of the day, scraped off the bottom of a pot

...Slow roasted

...Ground up in my freezer

...With boiling water poured over them

...Light and sweet

...A day old


A Cannibal Joke

Two cannibals meet one day. The first cannibal says, You know, I just can't seem to get a tender missionary, I've baked them, I have roasted them, I've stewed them, I've barbecued them, I've tried every sort of marinade. I just can't seem to get them tender.

The second cannibal asks, What kind of missionary do you use?

The other replies, You know, the ones that hang out at the place at the bend of the lake. They have those brown cloaks with a funny ring of hair on their heads.

Aha! the second cannibal replies. No wonder ā€“ those are friars!


My Nephew's pet chicken died.

I couldn't help asking if the funeral will be fried or roasted.


Hitler was a damn good comedian

He roasted 6 million Jews.


Poaching defenseless, innocent wild animals is just plain wrong

They're much better roasted.


A couple went out to eat ...

A couple went out to eat at a nice restaurant. The waiter came over to give them the specials of the night, "For our main courses, we have a nice roasted Salmon with a Cranberry-Mustard sauce or a tender Chicken fried steak." The lady replied that she'd have the salmon.

The waiter said, "Very good, madam. What about the vegetable?"

She said, "Oh, I'm sure he'll just order the Chicken Fried Steak."


Why can't Vin Diesel differentiate Thanksgiving Turkey from his best friend?

Because they're both roasted


A man is sitting on a barstool...

and eating from a bowl of peanuts. But instead of just eating them, he takes one peanut at a time, mutters "You suck!", and then crams it into his mouth. He continues to do this for a while.

Finally, the woman next to him can't contain her curiosity. "Why are you saying that?" she asks.

"I like them roasted."


Why can't you insult Jewish people?

Because they've already been roasted.


Chinese restaurant

A man goes to a restaurant and without letting the waitress give him the menu says "I want a Medium Rare Ribeye steak with Roasted Potatoes in Marinara sauce." The waitress timidly responds "Sir. This is a Chinese restaurant." To which the man replies "Oh! I'm sorry. I want a Medium Lale Libeye steak with Loasted Potatoes in Malinala Sauce."


My nephew was driving me crazy with his juvenile comebacks to everything I said, so I pushed him into the campfire.



Did you hear about the nut down the street whose house was burned down?

He was a salted, but his honey roasted.


I was outside in my garden when a guy walked to me and started insulting me, so I roasted him in front of everyone.

He tasted really good with fries.


Andy Cornell called, they said you suck!

And you're gayer than Oscar.

Boom, Roasted.


How did the marshmallow feel when he heard that his brother had been roasted alive and crushed between two biscuits?

He was S'moretified


What do people being roasted and condoms being manufactured have in common?

Both are getting ribbed for your pleasure.


What do you call a mental hospital on fire?

Roasted Nuts


What did the turkey say before it was roasted?

Boy! Iā€™m stuffed!


Did you hear that a survivalist got roasted yesterday about his unemployment?

Yeah, a Bear Grilled Bear Gryll's Bare Bills


Why is it not good to make fun of a Jew?

Cause they've already been roasted


What do you call a burn patient that's in a coma?

A roasted veggie


TIFU by ordering a meatball footlong instead of the oven roasted chicken my wife asked for.

Whoopsie...wrong sub.


When I argued with the barista on how to make my coffee

I got expertly roasted.


I tried to deep fry my turkey this year but it went horribly wrong

Boom. Roasted.


What do you get when Santa accidentally goes down the chimney with a lit fire?

Chestnuts roasted over an open fire.


We should really stop joking about Jewish people...

I mean, they've been roasted enough.


Did you hear about the Chicken who went for his job interview?

He got roasted!


Why did Hitler killed himself?

A Jewish rapper roasted his mustache.


What did the Witch say to Hansel and Gretel when they made fun of her?



What do you call it when a Jamaican kid's getting roasted



What do you call birds roasted golden brown?

Maillard Ducks


What's the difference between a Jew and a Feminist?

Jews don't complain when they're roasted.


What do you call a Black Jew

Roasted ape


What are the most funny Roasted jokes of all time ?

Did you ever wanted to stand out with a good sense of humour joking with someone about Roasted? Well, here are the best Roasted dad jokes to laugh out loud. Crazy funny puns and Roasted pick up lines to share with friends.

Joko Jokes