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Roast Jokes

108 roast jokes and hilarious roast puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about roast that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.

Are you looking for the perfect roast joke? Look no further! From roast jokes for your brother to roast jokes for your boss, this article has got all the best and funniest roast jokes you need to make your friends and family laugh! With roast jokes that are both meaty and liable, you're sure to find the perfect joke for every occasion.

Best Short Roast Jokes

Short roast jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The roast humour may include short roost jokes also.

  1. Donald Trump is like a marshmallow... He's easy to roast, a little orange on top, catches fire easily, and will melt down when he gets under too much heat.
  2. "Doctor, doctor!" "I've roast beef in one ear, Yorkshire pudding in the other ear and gravy all down my legs!"
    Doctor: "Hmmm. I don't think you're eating properly."
  3. Trump's ego is so big... Trump's ego is so big that when he bangs a super-model, he closes his eyes and imagines he's jerking off.
    -Seth Macfarlane, CC Roast of Trump
  4. why dont jewish people like getting made fun of? Because millions of them already got roasted
  5. What do you put in a toaster joke Spell roast five times, r-o-a-s-t, r-o-a-s-t, r-o-a-s-t, r-o-a-s-t, r-o-a-s-t.
    What do you put in a toaster?
    I usually put bread in a toaster.
  6. You either have ability... ...or you're nobility.

    BOOM roasted. Take that, bourgeoise.
  7. My wife gives me head every Monday. She won't let any of Sunday's roast chicken go to waste.
  8. Why shouldn't you make fun of burn victims? Because they have already been roasted one to many times.
  9. My overweight boss asked me to roast him at his retirement party.. I told him that as a lifelong Muslim, I was forbidden from consuming pork.
  10. My doctor tells me that a healthy serving of red meat is the size of a deck of cards. Tonight I ate 52 slices of roast beef.

Quick Jump To


Roast joke, My doctor tells me that a healthy serving of red meat is the size of a deck of cards.


Make fun with this list of one liners, jokes and riddles. Each joke is crafted with thought and creativity, delivering punchlines that are unexpected and witty. The humor about roast can easily lighten the mood and bring smiles to people's faces. This compilation of roast puns is not just entertaining but also a testament to the art of joke-telling. The jokes in this list are designed to display different humor styles, ensuring that every reader at any age finds something entertaining. Constantly updated, they offer a source of fun that ensures one is always smiling !

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Roast One Liners

Which roast one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with roast? I can suggest the ones about bake and grill.

  1. What is Jimmy McGill's favorite cut of meat? Chuck roast.
  2. What do cannibals call it when they are roasting a blonde for dinner? A Barbie Q.
  3. Why does Miss Piggy hate comedy? Because her father got roasted.
  4. Winter- Pros: Chestnuts roasting. Cons: Deez nuts freezing.
  5. What kind of coffee do Siths drink? Darth roast.
  6. Why can't you insult Jewish people? Because they've already been roasted.
  7. So the presidential debate is tonight. Even vegans can't stay away from this pig roast.
  8. Kylie Jenner asked me to roast her. I said platics don't roast they melt.
  9. What flavor of coffee is name for Joan of Arc? French Roast
  10. Roast beef on French roll Oops wrong sub.
    ^Make ^that ^black ^forest ^ham ^on ^italian
  11. Why didn't Joan of Arc ever poke fun at her friends? Because she knew they'd roast her
  12. What does the ghost like on his roast beef? grave-y
    gravy
  13. How To Roast A Chicken "You have chicken legs"
  14. Elon Musk just sent some roasted cows on to the moon. The steaks have never been higher.
  15. What do you call a Black Jew Roasted ape

Roast Beef Jokes

Here is a list of funny roast beef jokes and even better roast beef puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • My wife is angry because I brought home a B.L.T. instead of a roast beef sandwich. Oops, wrong sub.
  • Q: What's the difference between roast beef and pea soup?
    A: You can roast beef but you cant pee soup.
  • Roast beef and pork are both pulled from the oven The pork says to the beef, "we meat again".
    (Courtesy of my 8 year old)
  • I was addicted to lunch meats, but I quit cold turkey. I'm still hooked on salami and roast beef though.
  • A hot dog walks into a bar The bartender says, "We don't serve sandwiches here."
    The hot dog says, "That's ok. I came for the roast beef."
  • What's the difference between roast beef and pea soup. Anyone can roast beef, but it's not easy to pea soup.
  • Guest at a restaurant! Guest at a restaurant: I refuse to eat this roast beef. Please call the manager!
    Waiter: That's no use. He won't eat it either.
  • What's the difference between roast beef and forest fires? Anyone can roast beef but only YOU can prevent forest fires.
  • I realized I was addicted to roast beef sandwiches So I went cold turkey.
  • A guy walks into Wendy's There was no punch line but certainly a roast line for that fresh beef. Delicious indeed it was for he savored the flavor.

Roast Dinner Jokes

Here is a list of funny roast dinner jokes and even better roast dinner puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • Lovingly slow-cooked over an open flame... ...I served a female deer with herbs to my family at a recent dinner party.
    Calling it "Spit-Roasted Dill Doe" was maybe a little unwise.
  • What's the difference between the UK and a Roast Dinner The roast is better off without Brussels.
  • Q: What does Miley Cyrus eat for Christmas dinner?
    A: Roast twerky!
  • If Uncle Chet hits on Uncle Bobby's wife at Christmas dinner, what do you get? Chet's nuts roasting on an open fire.
  • Q: What does Miley Cyrus eat for Christmas dinner?
    A: Roast twerky!
  • Q: What does Miley Cyrus eat for Christmas dinner?
    A: Roast twerky!
  • What did the s**... have for dinner? A p**... roast
  • I'm afraid I may have s**... up Christmas dinner The roast pork was crackle-lacking.

Roast People Jokes

Here is a list of funny roast people jokes and even better roast people puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • When ever someone asks me how I'm able to insult people so well..... I say "I'm German, roasting people is what I do..."
  • What do people being roasted and condoms being manufactured have in common? Both are getting ribbed for your pleasure.
  • We should really stop joking about Jewish people... I mean, they've been roasted enough.
  • What do you call it when two high people get in an argument? A p**... roast.
  • If h**... was a rapper, he would make the best diss tracks. He was good at roasting people.

Fat Roast Jokes

Here is a list of funny fat roast jokes and even better fat roast puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • Yesterday, I had a blast roasting this random fat guy in a comedy club the audience loved it but some said it was a little too spicy for their taste.
  • Mum got mad when she asked me to roast a chicken for tea Apparently "Yo mumma so fat they call her chicken *BIG*" wasn't an acceptable response.
  • How do you roast a Marshmallow? You call it fat and pale
Roast joke, How do you roast a Marshmallow?

Hilarious Fun Roast Jokes to Bring Joy & Laughter with Friends

What funny jokes about roast you can tell and make people laugh? One example I can give are clean boil jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help make roast prank.

I saw a cannibal at the nursing home the other day, he was walking around making fun of all the residents. I realized then that I actually had something in common with him.

I too find vegetables to be tastier if I roast them first.

The Mathematician and the Waiter

A mathematician and his partner go to a restaurant one Sunday lunchtime. The waiter comes over and takes the mathematician's order: -
'I'd like one chicken breast, 10 roast potatoes, 100 baby carrots and 1,000 peas, please' he requests.
'Why sir!' Exclaimed the waiter. 'That's an order of magnitude!'

A man and a woman go out to dinner...

This is during the time the Mad Cow disease ravished Britain. A man and a woman are sitting at a table when the waiter approaches them, asking "what would you like for dinner?"
The man replies, I'll have a fat juicy steak, medium rare with all the trimmings. Gravy and roast potatoes please. The waiter asks "what about the mad cow?"
To which the man replies
"Nahh she'll just have fish"

Willpower

I'd just come out of the shop with a roast beef sandwich, large chips, ear of corn, & a jumbo sausage. A poor, homeless man sat there and said 'I haven't eaten for two days.'
I told him, 'I wish I had your will power.'

Have you heard the joke about Oprah's new line at Starbucks?

It's a warm, comforting, medium-dark roast.

A lady is shopping for a big family dinner

She goes to the market to get a turkey to roast, but she can't find one that is large enough to feed her entire family. She finds an employee and asks "Excuse me sir, do these turkeys get any bigger?"
"No ma'am, I'm sorry... they're dead."

I was thinking of hosting a gathering of celebrities where we make harsh jokes about honoree JLO's backside.

Think of it as a r**... roast.

I’ve only just noticed this hand.

“Is it someone saying, ‘You’ll regret this photograph?”
That’s Prince Andrew’s hand!

They should roast Tom Cruise sometime...

Call it the Cruise-ifixion

So Donald Trump wants to be president and move into the white house. Why not?

It wouldn't be the first time he pushed a black family out of their home.
 
 
*credits to Snoop Dogg @ Donald Trump roast*

A lawyer's dog

A lawyer's dog, running about unleashed, beelines for the local butcher shop and steals a roast off the counter.
The butcher goes to the lawyer's office and asks, "if a dog, running unleashed, steals a piece of meat from my store, do I have a right to demand payment for the meat from the dog's owner?" "Absolutely," the lawyer responded.
The butcher immediately shot back, "Good! You owe me $7.99 for the roast your dog stole from me this morning."
The lawyer, without a word, writes the butcher a check for $7.99. A few days later, the butcher receives a mail from the lawyer.
The contents read
"Pay Consultation fee: $25.00."

What do you call a fight between Jews?

A roast

Someone I know died and is being cremated

May he roast in peace

My boyfriend got really upset when I told him that I have a bun in the oven.

He really must not like rabbit roast.

What does a cannibal call a s**...?

A p**... Roast.

Which global disasters happen when you drop a roast turkey?

The downfall of Turkey, the break-up of China, and the overthrow of Greece.

What's it called when you insult a police officer?

A pig roast...

What's the best shape to roast?

A rektangle

I saw a man on the street with a sign saying he was hungry.

I told him I had an extra sandwich and he could pick which one he wanted, turkey or roast beef. He looked at both sandwiches for about 30 seconds, them threw up his hands and ran off.
I wondered for a second, then I remembered,
"Beggars can't be choosers"

What are our names?

A hen and her chick are having a talk.
"Why do humans have names, but us chickens don't? All we have is chicken, or hen.", asks the chick.
"Well, humans may have names when they are ALIVE, but when they are dead, they are only called ghosts.", Says the hen, "but, we have lots of names when we are dead. Such as chicken curry, fried chicken, roast chicken...."

Can you call the British PM a fool?

During WW II, a man was arrested in London for calling Winston Churchill a fool.
The next day in the House of Commons, the opposition members were ready to roast the government for this. "Are we living in a police state", they shouted, "where we cannot call the PM a fool"?
Churchill's reply was truly disarming - "The man was not arrested for calling the Prime Minister a fool", he said, "but for letting out a state secret at a time of war".

A rabbi and a priest

A rabbi and a priest were at a communal dinner when a dish of roast pork was served.
The priest leaned into the rabbi's ear and whispered, "You planning on eating that buddy?"
The rabbi chuckled and replied, "Not today. But I'm definitely planning to have some at your wedding."

I went to my in-laws for dinner

An argument inevitably broke out and my wife told me not to take sides.
I told her "they wont notice", as I slid the roast potatoes into my pocket "they are to distracted"

What would a suicidal cannibal say ?

Roast me

More of an insult but not a repost

What's the difference between (insert friend you want to roast) and England?
England can get a semi

A hen is having a talk with its chick

Chick: Why do humans get names but we don't? We are only called hens, or chickens or roosters.
Hen: Well, WE might not get names but when we die, we have many names. Humans on the other hand, are only called zombies or ghosts.
Chick: What are we called when we die then?
Hen: Names such as, curry chicken, roast chicken, fried chicken..

Tall blonde

Starbucks barista: hello! What would you like today?
A tall blonde please.
I'm so sorry we're out of blonde roast today.
Can I get a tall brunette instead?
Badamtssss

So I went to Subway the other day

I ordered the usual, roast beef with cucumbers, lettuce and Chipotle sauce.
When I got the sandwich, it was mouldy and looked like it had been used many times before, so I handed back to the employee who had made it.
He looked at it for a while before saying "oh yeah, this sub has a lot of recycled content."

Whats the differance between a roast beef sandwich and a b**...?

You don't know?
soooo...you wanna do lunch tomorrow?

Ordered some spices online a while back to enhance my roast chicken recipe, unfortunately due to the pandemic I was told the package would be delayed.

But today is the day, the thyme has finally come.

A man was sent to h**... after his death..

As he was being led into the pits for an eternity of torment, he saw a lawyer passionately kissing a beautiful woman.
What a joke! he said. I have to roast in flames for all eternity and that lawyer gets to spend it with that beautiful woman. Satan jabbed the man with his pitchfork and snarled, Who are you to question that woman's punishment?

What food does a s**... serve his guests at a party?

p**... Roast. Ba dum dum

Why does Meghan Trainor like to pour the meat juices over her roast during cooking?

She's all about that baste.

A customer walks up to a barista at Starbucks

They are not a huge coffee drinker so they ask the barista what's your mildest roast? The barista thinks about it for a moment and says you have mediocre ears.

Man walks into Starbucks

Not too experienced with the ordering process, he says " I"ll just have a mild roast".
The barrista says "you have very average ears"

What do you call a campfire at a nudist camp?

A w**... roast.

I don't want to go to school

"Dad, I don't want to go to school
today." said the boy.
"Why not, son?"
\-"Well, one of the chickens on the
school farm died last week and we had
chicken soup for lunch the next day.
Then three days ago one of the pigs
died and we had roast pork the
next day"
"But why don't you want
to go today"
"Because our English
teacher died yesterday!"

The Inventor of AutoCorrect died

The Inventor of AutoCorrect died.
Condiments are roaring in.
* He will be mist
* He was a very general food man
* He was killed in four luggages
* He is in a wetter place
* Paying for his knife and Emily
* Send flours and dalmations to---
* May he roast in piece
Funnel will be held tomato.

Roast joke, "Doctor, doctor!"

jokes about roast

Jokes are a form of humor that often involves clever wordplay, puns or unexpected twists in a story. These are usually short narratives or anecdotes crafted with the intent of amusing its audience by ending in an unexpected or humorous punchline. Jokes are a universal form of entertainment that people of all ages like adults, teens, kids and toddlers can enjoy. JokoJokes' FAQ section has answers to questions you may have!

The impact of these roast jokes can be both social and psychological. They can help to ease tensions, create bonds between people, and even improve overall mental health. The success of a joke often relies on the delivery, timing, and audience. Jokes can be used in various settings, from social gatherings to professional presentations, and are often employed to lighten the mood or enhance a story.