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Roast Dinner Jokes

26 roast dinner jokes and hilarious roast dinner puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about roast dinner that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.

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Funniest Roast Dinner Short Jokes

Short roast dinner jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The roast dinner humour may include short roast beef jokes also.

  1. Lovingly slow-cooked over an open flame... ...I served a female deer with herbs to my family at a recent dinner party.
    Calling it "Spit-Roasted Dill Doe" was maybe a little unwise.
  2. What's the difference between the UK and a Roast Dinner The roast is better off without Brussels.
  3. If Uncle Chet hits on Uncle Bobby's wife at Christmas dinner, what do you get? Chet's nuts roasting on an open fire.

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Roast Dinner One Liners

Which roast dinner one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with roast dinner? I can suggest the ones about roast and christmas dinner.

  1. What do cannibals call it when they are roasting a blonde for dinner? A Barbie Q.
  2. Q: What does Miley Cyrus eat for Christmas dinner?
    A: Roast twerky!
  3. Q: What does Miley Cyrus eat for Christmas dinner?
    A: Roast twerky!
  4. Q: What does Miley Cyrus eat for Christmas dinner?
    A: Roast twerky!
  5. What did the s**... have for dinner? A p**... roast
  6. I'm afraid I may have s**... up Christmas dinner The roast pork was crackle-lacking.

Hilarious Roast Dinner Jokes for a Fun-Filled Night with Friends

What funny jokes about roast dinner you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean roast people jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make roast dinner pranks.

Donner with my boss

I had dinner last week at my boss house, his wife offered me roasted potatoes she said " how many potatoes do you want?
" i said "one please"
she said "you don't have to be polite",
"one, you fat b**..." wasn't the proper answer

People need to be a little bit more considerate of Trump's decision to skip the White House Correspondents' dinner.

The roasting waiting for him there would probably have made him the second black president.

A rabbi and a priest

A rabbi and a priest were at a communal dinner when a dish of roast pork was served.
The priest leaned into the rabbi's ear and whispered, "You planning on eating that buddy?"
The rabbi chuckled and replied, "Not today. But I'm definitely planning to have some at your wedding."

A man and a woman go out to dinner...

This is during the time the Mad Cow disease ravished Britain. A man and a woman are sitting at a table when the waiter approaches them, asking "what would you like for dinner?"
The man replies, I'll have a fat juicy steak, medium rare with all the trimmings. Gravy and roast potatoes please. The waiter asks "what about the mad cow?"
To which the man replies
"Nahh she'll just have fish"

I went to my in-laws for dinner

An argument inevitably broke out and my wife told me not to take sides.
I told her "they wont notice", as I slid the roast potatoes into my pocket "they are to distracted"

A lady is shopping for a big family dinner

She goes to the market to get a turkey to roast, but she can't find one that is large enough to feed her entire family. She finds an employee and asks "Excuse me sir, do these turkeys get any bigger?"
"No ma'am, I'm sorry... they're dead."

Why was the man upset?

A man spends the whole day fishing but comes back home holding a duck. When he opens the door he says this is the pig I've been telling you about all day. Wife says, but that's a duck. The man says I wasn't talking to you.
Now the man is upset, because he can't eat the duck anymore after he just roasted his pig. But then after dinner the man gets even more upset, but not because his dinner tasted like fish, but because it was the worst fish he had all day!

Donald Trump and Vladimir Putin are having dinner.


Trump orders a steak, and Putin orders the roast duck.
The waiter, however, gets their plates mixed up.
Trump does not wait, but rather just starts digging in.
"Wow," Putin says. "Your hands make my duck look bigger."

This one takes some thinking.

A guy takes his date to a dinner at the local country club. It's an unusual setup: People have to wait in separate lines for each type of food.
As his date sits down, the guy volunteers to go get their dinner. First he waits in the line for the roast beef. Then he waits in the line for potatoes. Then he waits in the vegetable line, the bread line, and the gravy line. Finally he brings back two full plates of food.
What would you like to drink? he asks.
A glass of punch would be nice, she says. So he goes to get it. He scouts around and finds a line for wine, a line for beer, a line for soda, and even a line for milk. But after a while he gives up and goes back to his table.

My son came out to me yesterday. I'm so disappointed.

I love my son, but this is tearing me up inside. I always thought I would be able to handle something like this, but this really is tough. It impacts so much of our relationship and family time. I mean, I had planned this big family dinner Sunday evening. (I smoked an awesome roast pork, I was so excited.) But I had to cancel it because of his choice. And it IS a choice. I don't know what to do at this point. Seriously, how have any of you handled your child going vegan?

The Monks and the Merchant. A joke penned by Leonardo Da Vinci

Franciscan begging Friars are wont, at certain times, to keep fasts, when they do not eat meat in their convents. But on journeys, as they live on charity, they have license to eat whatever is set before them. Now a couple of these friars on their travels, stopped at an inn, in company with a certain merchant, and sat down with him at the same table, where, from the poverty of the inn, nothing was served to them but a small roast chicken. The merchant, seeing this to be but little even for himself, turned to the friars and said: "If my memory serves me, you do not eat any kind of flesh in your convents at this season." At these words the friars were compelled by their rule to admit, without cavil, that this was the truth; so the merchant had his wish, and eat the chicken and the friars did the best they could. After dinner the messmates departed, all three together, and after travelling some distance they came to a river of some width and depth. All three being on foot--the friars by reason of their poverty, and the other from avarice--it was necessary by the custom of company that one of the friars, being barefoot, should carry the merchant on his shoulders: so having given his wooden shoes into his keeping, he took up his man. But it so happened that when the friar had got to the middle of the river, he again remembered a rule of his order, and stopping short, he looked up, like Saint Christopher, to the burden on his back and said: "Tell me, have you any money about you?"--"You know I have", answered the other, "How do you suppose that a Merchant like me should go about otherwise?" "Alack!" cried the friar, "our rules forbid as to carry any money on our persons," and forthwith he dropped him into the water