The Best 16 Roadkill Jokes

Following is our collection of funny Roadkill jokes. There are some roadkill pedestrians jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud.

Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these roadkill cow puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.

Top 10 of the Funniest Roadkill Jokes and Puns

Children are so unappreciative these days.

I bought my daughter a rabbit.

She just keeps complaining about how it "doesn't count if it's roadkill".

I asked a road-kill removal specialist if he would donate to my charity.

He said he might be able to scrape together a few bucks.

Best lines when dealing with telemarketers

Some of the better ones

* City Morgue, you stab 'em, we slab 'em
* Mario's Pizzaria and Abortion Clinic, your loss is our sauce, may I take your order?
* Roadkill Cafe, you kill it, we grill it
* Mort's Mortuary, you slice 'em, we ice 'em
* Bob's Back Alley Abortion Parlour, you rape 'em, we scrape 'em, no fetus can beat us

Anyone have more?

Roadkill joke, Best lines when dealing with telemarketers

I took some roadkill I hit home to barbeque for dinner,

On a related note... anyone have any use for a child's bicycle and backback?

Why don't you ever see a crow roadkill

Because there is always another one in the tree yelling, "CAWR CAWR!"


Two hillbillies are discussing plans for dinner

After throwing ideas back and forth of what to cook, their eyes catch some roadkill on the side of the road. One of them eagerly suggests, "how about Himalayan Woodchuck?"

"Himalayan Woodchuck?" the other hillbilly scoffed. "What in the devil is that?"

"You know," the other says, gesturing towards the corpse, "because we found Himalayan on the side of the road."

Roadkill...must have been a lawyer

Two men were walking along a road when they came across roadkill.

"I wonder what that was." said one of them.

"Looks like a lawyer to me." said the other.

"How do you know that?" said the first.

"No skid marks."

Roadkill joke, Roadkill...must have been a lawyer

My friend surprised me for my birthday with a book called 'Road-Kill Recipes'

I did find some road-kill the other day, so I cooked it according to one recipe and it was delicious. I'm just not sure what I should do with the bicycle.

Why don't you ever see a crow as roadkill?

They always have another crow as a lookout saying "car, car, car"

What do you call a blind wombat?

...Roadkill.

I was on a road trip, and I saw roadkill on the side of the road.

I got super freaked out when it screamed for help.

You can explore roadkill freeway reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean roadkill carcass dad jokes. There are also roadkill puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.


What did the vulture police officer tell the gathering crowd about the roadkill?

Carrion people

I was given a recipe book for roadkill recently

I collected some roadkill and followed the recipe. It tasted good but I have no idea what to do with his bike.

What's the difference between roadkill and a viola in the middle of the road?

There are skid marks leading up to the roadkill.

Advice needed, please, on cooking roadkill

What do you do with the bike?

I was given a recipe book for roadkill the other day

So I went out and got some, and it was delicious. Recipe didn't say anything about the leftover bike though

Roadkill joke, I was given a recipe book for roadkill the other day

Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the roadkill gras jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, are mean or racist, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become bullying and inappropriate.

We suggest to use only working roadkill interstate piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.

Joko Jokes