Road Construction Jokes
23 road construction jokes and hilarious road construction puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about road construction that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
Looking for a laugh? Check out our collection of road construction jokes. From puns to one-liners, we've got jokes for every sense of humor.
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Funniest Road Construction Short Jokes
Short road construction jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The road construction humour may include short construction site jokes also.
- My dad encouraged me to take a job on a highway construction crew... ...but I decided not to go down that road.
- I saw the strangest protest sign driving to work today I know all the construction can be inconvenient but seriously, End Road Work ?
Happy Father's Day everyone! - I finally listened to my mom, and took the road less traveled. I totally missed all the signs about the freeway still being under construction.
- I saw a construction sign today that said, "road rehab". It must've been addicted to crack.
- So my boss told me to take the highroad. So I told him I must have missed the exit due to heavy construction on the road of life.
- Vermont's 4 seasons Vermont has 5 seasons:
Almost winter
Winter
Still winter
Mud season
Road construction
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Road Construction One Liners
Which road construction one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with road construction? I can suggest the ones about road block and construction worker.
- Minnesota has 4 seasons Almost winter, winter, almost summer, and road construction.
- What's the road construction worker's equivalent of a plumbers crack? An asphalt
- What are the only two seasons in Michigan? Winter and road construction.
- I finally found an onramp for the road to success!!!! It was closed for construction.
- The road to success is always under construction.
Uproarious Road Construction Jokes to Share with Friends
What funny jokes about road construction you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean road closed jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make road construction pranks.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Ben was a fifth grader notorious for his lack of filter.
One day, he walked into class 10 minutes late. "What took you so long, Ben?" asked the teacher. "Sorry miss, there was construction happening in a w**... nearby so all the roads were blocked."
Suddenly, all the girls in the class, disgusted at Ben, rose up to protest against his v**... rhetoric. "Simmer down, you s**...", Ben replied "they are not taking applications yet."
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A construction worker walks into a bar with a slab of asphalt under his arm.
He says to the bartender, "Give me a beer, please, and one for the road."
***
I'm^so^sorry
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A construction crew was converting an old road near a chicken coupe back to farmland...
Comedians slaughtered the construction crew, and the jokes continued.
Why did the Pakistani cross the road? Because the American government was subsidizing the construction of mango harvesting and preservation infrastructure in the region on the other side, allowing farmers with the necessary means to develop strong ties to American markets and earn significant profits.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A man worked for a road crew. One day he woke up ill...
...with a touch of laryngitis - but being a dedicated employee he went to work.
The boss felt rather sorry for him and didn't want him to do any physical labor - as they were repairing a part of the freeway. He says, "Why don't you go down the road and tell people to slow down going through the construction?"
The worker is glad for the easy day. He stops the first vehicle: "Sir," he whispers, his t**... feeling worse, "please slow down, there's a road crew up ahead."
"Okay," the driver whispers back, "I'll try not to wake them."
A policeman used to hang out in a coffee shop all day....
A policeman used to hang out in a coffee shop all day. Unsurprisingly that coffee shop never got robbed.
The hardware shop down the road had an idea, and constructed a cardboard silhouette of a policeman drinking coffee, and displayed it in front of their counter, thinking it would deter thieves.
The first week went by without incident, but then half-way through the second week, masked men burst in and snatched away the cardboard policeman.
It transpires that he just wasn't cut out for the job.
The Sleeping Scotsman
A Scotsman decides one day he'd pass the time by walking the countryside. After a couple of hours, he comes to the top of a hill and sees a road down below him.
"I don't remember there being a road here. I must be more lost than I thought!"
Before trying to trek his way back home, however, he decides to take a rest under a nearby tree.
Meanwhile, a woman driving on the road below sees the sleeping Scotsman and asked herself life's biggest question: "*Do* the Scottish wear anything under their kilts?" Curiosity getting the better of her, she pulls her car over to the side of the road and sneaks her way up to the sleeping Scotsman. She carefully picks up the front of the Scotsman's kilt and sees, in fact, they do not wear anything underneath. Feeling embarrassed and guilty, the woman sees some nearby stakes in the ground with red and blue ribbons tied to the tops of them, being used as markers for a nearby construction site. The woman takes one of these ribbons and ties it snuggly to the Scotsman's wiener to signify that someone was there.
Later, the Scotsman awakes and feels a tug under his kilt. He lifts it up and sees a blue ribbon tied tight around his piece. Upon seeing this, the Scotsman shouts:
"I don't know where ye been or what ye did, but you won first prize!"