Rival Jokes
50 rival jokes and hilarious rival puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about rival that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
Sometimes a rivalry between two parties can bring forth some hilarious jokes. From floral sculpting in the Philippine dessert Sans Rival to the rivalry between rival schools and towns, this article will explore how rivalries can produce some of the best jokes. Explore how competition can bring out the best in humor and discover some of the best rival jokes out there.
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Funniest Rival Short Jokes
Short rival jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The rival humour may include short opponent jokes also.
- I always assumed that China has extremely sophisticated spying technology that they use on their rivals. Well, that balloon has burst.
- If Croatia loses tomorrow, all of England will hope to beat their biggest rival on Sunday: liver damage
- I have a rival, but I can only fight him when we meet up under curved architectural structures. He's my arch enemy.
- My friend got locked in a coffee place overnight. Now he only ever goes into Starbucks, not the rivals. He's Costa-phobic.
- Anders Celsius died when he was 43 years old although his rival Farenheit was convinced he was 109
- When a male grey wolf takes over a pack, he adopts his rival's puppies He becomes the SteppenWolf
- I had long suspected a rival robot lumberjack of stealing my wood So I checked its log files.
- Did I ever tell you about the time my rival claimed he could best me in his sleep? I retorted with, That's the only way you'll defeat me, is in your dreams.
- Did you hear about the employee who was hired by a rival Egg packing factory? You could say he was poached
- I'm currently playing Pokémon Yellow and I named my character Drunk while I named my rival Sober. Every time they fight then, it's like real life sorry
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Rival One Liners
Which rival one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with rival? I can suggest the ones about compete and enemy.
- I've created a writing software to rival Microsoft. It's their Word against mine.
- What were the names of the two rival vampire gangs? The bloods and the crypts
- Two rival landscaping companies have been killing each others staff They're in a turf war
- I bumped into my rival jousting opponent. We exchanged lances.
- Starbucks are looking to buy out their biggest rival Bet that would Costa lot of money
- My life-long rival just beat my record for deep-sea diving! This is a new low...
- What it would be like having one of his rivals not show up? Was he a rival then?
- Introducing Dwayne Johnson's latest rival, The Hard Place! Don't get between them.
- Who was Qing Dynasty's main rival? The Qong Dynasty.
- Do you know about the biggest rival of pharmacy? Its pharonaldo
- Who would be Sub Zero's perfect rival in the Marvel Universe? Thor.
- What do you call it when Ash Ketchum's rival sings? Gary Oak-e.
- You know who really s**...? Our rival sports team!
Rival School Jokes
Here is a list of funny rival school jokes and even better rival school puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- Why did the cannibal get indigestion after eating his high school debate team rival? He ate something that disagreed with him
Amusing Rival Jokes to Make You Laugh with Friends
What funny jokes about rival you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean opposing jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make rival pranks.
The Friar Florists
The friars were behind on their belfry payments, so they opened up a small florist shop to raise funds.
Since everyone liked to buy flowers from the men of God, a rival florist across town thought this was unfair. He asked the good fathers to close down, but they would not.
He went back and begged the friars to close. They ignored him.
So the rival florist hired Hugh MacTaggart, the roughest and most vicious t**... in town to "persuade" them to close. Hugh beat up the friars and trashed their store, saying he'd be back if they didn't close up shop.
Terrified, they did so, thereby proving that: Hugh, and only Hugh, can prevent florist friars.
Did you hear the CEO of Twitter got in trouble for buying shares of rival companies?
I guess it was a conflict of Pinterest.
Is a rivalry between two vegetarians still called a "beef?"
Why did the b**... not get involved in the rival b**...'s business scandal?
He was minding his own dam business
Massacre between rival musicians at the Symphony Orchestra today, .
Authorities have condemned this act of Violins
comeback is real!
A professor and a fool
A professor was walking along a very narrow hall when he came face to face with a rival.
The passage way was too narrow for two to pass.
The rival, pulling himself up to his full height, said with a sneer,
I never make way for fools!
Smiling, the Gracious Professor stepped aside and with a bow replied, I Always Do.
The Ikea corporation was found not guilty yesterday for assassinating a rival companies CEO.
While there were several damning pieces of evidence, the detectives couldn't seem to put the case together.
My mailbox is overflowing, my spam folder and junk folder rival each other in size, and I keep procrastinating on dealing with it...
But one day I'm gonna go clean all that up, you just wait and DNC.
I recently found a TV show about 2 best friends, their angry neighbour and a rival restaurant.
God, I love Spongebob.
If I owned a scrap yard, I'd go to the rival scrap yard...
...and take the "S" off their sign.
What did the rivaling inventor say to the man who created the chalkboard?
"That's remarkable"
The Friars
The friars were behind on their belfry payments, so they opened up a small flower shop to raise funds.
Since everyone liked to buy flowers from the men of God, a rival florist across town thought this was unfair. He asked the good fathers to close down, but they would not.
He went back and begged the friars to close. They ignored him.
So the rival florist hired Hugh MacTaggart, the roughest and most vicious t**... in town to "persuade" them to close. Hugh beat up the friars and trashed their store, saying he'd be back if they didn't close up shop.
Terrified, they did so, thereby proving that...
Only Hugh can prevent florist friars.
This year, Santa will have some competition.
One of Santa's little Elves has gone rogue and decided to start a rival gift distribution business.
He's a rebel without a Claus.
A group of friars were behind on their belfry payments, so they opened up a small florist shop to raise the funds.
Since everyone liked to buy flowers from the men of God, the rival florist across town thought the competition was unfair. So, the rival florist hired Hugh MacTaggart, the roughest and most vicious t**... in town to "persuade" them to close. Terrified, they did so - thereby proving that Hugh, and only Hugh, can prevent florist friars.
I miss the Pokemon games that let you name your rival, to whatever you wanted.
Now apparently certain names are "offensive" and "racist".
What interview should you avoid asking Clark Kent to give?
2:30 AM: A woman accused of robbing a large bank in San Francisco
6:00 PM: A man accused of scamming high rollers in Las Vegas
9:00 PM: A man accused of shooting two rival gang members in Los Angeles
The last one: Keep him away from the Crip tonight
A minister and his friend in the congregation were fans of rival sports teams.
When they were due to play each other, the two made a gentleman's agreement not to pray for their team.
The minister's team ended up losing quite badly, and he decided to tease his friend about it from the pulpit on Sunday.
"My friends, you know that Doug and I back different teams. We said we wouldn't pray for our team to win, but obviously, Doug cheated," he grinned at his friend and the congregation chuckled.
"Preacher, I didn't do that," Doug shot back. "I just asked God to let the best team win!"
A group of friars were behind on their belfry payments, so they opened up a small florist shop to raise the funds
A group of friars were behind on their belfry payments, so they opened up a small florist shop to raise the funds.
Since everyone liked to buy flowers from the men of God, the rival florist across town thought the competition was unfair. So, the rival florist hired Hugh MacTaggart, the roughest and most vicious t**... in town to "persuade" them to close. Terrified, they did so - thereby proving that Hugh, and only Hugh, can prevent florist friars.
