The Best 31 Rival Jokes

Following is our collection of funny Rival jokes. There are some rival opponent jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud.

Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these rival dropouts puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.

Top 10 Funniest Rival Jokes and Puns

Why did the cannibal get indigestion after eating his high school debate team rival?

He ate something that disagreed with him

Did you hear the CEO of Twitter got in trouble for buying shares of rival companies?

I guess it was a conflict of Pinterest.

Is a rivalry between two vegetarians still called a "beef?"

Rival joke, Is a rivalry between two vegetarians still called a "beef?"

Why did the beaver not get involved in the rival beaver's business scandal?

He was minding his own dam business

Massacre between rival musicians at the Symphony Orchestra today, .

Authorities have condemned this act of Violins

comeback is real!

A professor and a fool

A professor was walking along a very narrow hall when he came face to face with a rival.
The passage way was too narrow for two to pass.
The rival, pulling himself up to his full height, said with a sneer,
I never make way for fools!

Smiling, the Gracious Professor stepped aside and with a bow replied, I Always Do.

The Ikea corporation was found not guilty yesterday for assassinating a rival companies CEO.

While there were several damning pieces of evidence, the detectives couldn't seem to put the case together.

Rival joke, The Ikea corporation was found not guilty yesterday for assassinating a rival companies CEO.

My life-long rival just beat my record for deep-sea diving!

This is a new low...

My mailbox is overflowing, my spam folder and junk folder rival each other in size, and I keep procrastinating on dealing with it...

But one day I'm gonna go clean all that up, you just wait and DNC.

I bumped into my rival jousting opponent.

We exchanged lances.

I had long suspected a rival robot lumberjack of stealing my wood

So I checked its log files.

You can explore rival compete reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean rival fraternity dad jokes. There are also rival puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.

I recently found a TV show about 2 best friends, their angry neighbour and a rival restaurant.

God, I love Spongebob.

I'm currently playing PokΓ©mon Yellow and I named my character Drunk while I named my rival Sober. Every time they fight then, it's like real life


Did you hear about the employee who was hired by a rival Egg packing factory?

You could say he was poached

If I owned a scrap yard, I'd go to the rival scrap yard...

...and take the "S" off their sign.

What did the rivaling inventor say to the man who created the chalkboard?

"That's remarkable"

Rival joke, What did the rivaling inventor say to the man who created the chalkboard?

This year, Santa will have some competition.

One of Santa's little Elves has gone rogue and decided to start a rival gift distribution business.

He's a rebel without a Claus.

Did I ever tell you about the time my rival claimed he could best me in his sleep?

I retorted with, That's the only way you'll defeat me, is in your dreams.

A group of friars were behind on their belfry payments, so they opened up a small florist shop to raise the funds.

Since everyone liked to buy flowers from the men of God, the rival florist across town thought the competition was unfair. So, the rival florist hired Hugh MacTaggart, the roughest and most vicious thug in town to "persuade" them to close. Terrified, they did so - thereby proving that Hugh, and only Hugh, can prevent florist friars.

Introducing Dwayne Johnson's latest rival, The Hard Place!

Don't get between them.

If Croatia loses tomorrow, all of England will hope to beat their biggest rival on Sunday:

Liver damage

Who was Qing Dynasty's main rival?

The Qong Dynasty.

I miss the Pokemon games that let you name your rival, to whatever you wanted.

Now apparently certain names are "offensive" and "racist".

What interview should you avoid asking Clark Kent to give?

2:30 AM: A woman accused of robbing a large bank in San Francisco

6:00 PM: A man accused of scamming high rollers in Las Vegas

9:00 PM: A man accused of shooting two rival gang members in Los Angeles

The last one: Keep him away from the Crip tonight

Two rival landscaping companies have been killing each others staff

They're in a turf war

I've created a writing software to rival Microsoft.

It's their Word against mine.

What were the names of the two rival vampire gangs?

The bloods and the crypts

Anders Celsius died when he was 43 years old

although his rival Farenheit was convinced he was 109

I have a rival, but I can only fight him when we meet up under curved architectural structures.

He's my arch enemy.

Starbucks are looking to buy out their biggest rival

Bet that would Costa lot of money

A minister and his friend in the congregation were fans of rival sports teams.

When they were due to play each other, the two made a gentleman's agreement not to pray for their team.

The minister's team ended up losing quite badly, and he decided to tease his friend about it from the pulpit on Sunday.

"My friends, you know that Doug and I back different teams. We said we wouldn't pray for our team to win, but obviously, Doug cheated," he grinned at his friend and the congregation chuckled.

"Preacher, I didn't do that," Doug shot back. "I just asked God to let the best team win!"

Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the rival foe jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, are mean or racist, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become bullying and inappropriate.

We suggest to use only working rival team piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.

Joko Jokes