Rising Jokes
85 rising jokes and hilarious rising puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about rising that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
This article explores the numerous implications of the phrase "Rising Jokes" and its various interpretations. From the rising sea level and the bread-rising process to the grand rising of immortals in Fenyx Rising, this article discusses the immense impact these jokes have had on both indigenous islanders in the Pacific and more.
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Funniest Rising Short Jokes
Short rising jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The rising humour may include short rise jokes also.
- With the rise of self-driving vehicles... With the rise of self-driving vehicles, it's only a matter of time before we get a country song where a guy's truck leaves him too
- No one should have been surprised by the rise of the USSR after World War II. I mean, there were red flags everywhere.
- With the rise of self driving vehicles, we shall soon hear a country song about a guy's truck leaving him too.
- My 8 year old sister's joke: There were 12 fish in a pond. One of the dies. Why did the water level in the pond rise? -Because the other fish were crying.
- airport police say that the number of people smuggling helium balloons in their luggage is under control. But cases continue to rise.
- Apparently there's a beef shortage on the rise. Good news is fast food restaurants shouldn't be affected.
- How to solve Global Warming: Convince republicans that rising temperatures are turning people gay.
- Have you heard about the rising political tensions between yogurt and penicillin? One side is probiotic, and the other is antibiotic. They're calling it a culture war.
- How do you solve climate change? Convince Republicans that rising temperatures are turning people gay.
- I got a pay rise in my job. At the end of the day, I went to the pub and bought a drink for everyone there.
I like to be generous, even if they did feel a bit weird sharing the same pint.
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Rising One Liners
Which rising one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with rising? I can suggest the ones about raise and descending.
- What happens when Catwoman takes off her suit? The Dark Knight Rises!
- The price of balloon is said to rise. It's only logical with all the inflation.
- This morning I was wondering why the sun wasn't rising... And then it dawned on me
- Due to rising costs, Old mcdonald had to sell his farm. E-I-E-I-Owes a lot of money.
- Bread is a lot like the sun.. It rises in the yeast and sets in the waist.
- Is your refrigerator running? Because refrigerator obesity is on the rise.
- What happens when Batman sees Catwoman? The Dark Knight rises.
- I support the anti-mask people Thanks to them the average IQ is rising
- Why is the demand for potato chips rising in China? They need clean air.
- I stayed up all night waiting for the sun to rise then it dawned on me
- What do you get if you cross shoe polish with yeast? Loafers that rise and shine
- Bread is like the Sun It rises in the yeast and sets in the waist
- Torrential rainfall? Rising floodwaters?! No escape?!! Don't worry... I Noah guy.
- Ever wondered why bread is just like the sun? It rises in the yeast and sets in the waist
- Why did balloon prices keep rising? Because they had to adjust for inflation.
Bread Rising Jokes
Here is a list of funny bread rising jokes and even better bread rising puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- Bread is like Sun rises in yeast and sets in waist
- a caring mother makes her son loafs of bread shaped like batman, to make his sandwiches fun every time. guess what happens when it's in the oven? the dark knight rises.
- My girlfriend is like bread. It's easy to get a rise out of her.
- I should make a bread company called Jesus' Body The bread is free so I can sit back and watch the profits rise.
- I've concluded that bread is better than Jesus. Bread only takes a few hours to rise.
- I started using kosher yeast in all my baking Now my bread rises 3 days later
- Why are bread jokes going to get more upvotes? Because they always make the rising page.
- Why is Jesus' body bread? Because given enough time it rises
- Did you hear about the baker who always fantasized about being a king? He walked into his bread oven room and said, "All rise."
- Have you ever eaten Jesus bread? It's good but it takes 3 days to rise.
Rising Sea Level Jokes
Here is a list of funny rising sea level jokes and even better rising sea level puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- I saw Al Gore talking about rising sea levels the other day... He really needs to come to terms with losing Florida.
- Why should you stay in Ireland if sea levels rise? Because Cork floats
- Rising sea levels have lowered the value of my home. Now my mortgage is underwater.
- The whole of Ireland is at risk from rising sea levels. Apart from Cork, which will stay afloat.
- The South shall rise again! Hopefully, above sea-level this time.
- Today sea levels continue to rise.... From liberal tears after that U.S. Supreme Court election.
Easter Rising Jokes
Here is a list of funny easter rising jokes and even better easter rising puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- Why is business good on Easter? Because prophets rise
- Why do capitalists celebrate Easter? They love when prophets rise.
- Oh my good and fellow Christians! It has been foretold our Lord and savior will once again rise from the dead and bless us all this Easter! April Fools!
- The problem with Easter cakes Is that they take three days to rise.
- Know what's good about Easter s**...... I get to rise again.
Laughable Rising Jokes for Instant Grins & Giggles
What funny jokes about rising you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean he has risen jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make rising pranks.
A Religious Joke From a Non-Religious Reditor
A flood occurs in a small town. A man climbs on top of his house to avoid the rising waters. A boat sails up to the house and offers the stranded man a ride. The man refuses saying, "No thanks, God will save me," and the boat leaves.
Then, a large ship comes along and offers the man help. Once more, the man says, "No thank you, I am waiting for God to help me," and the ship leaves.
Finally a helicopter flies overhead and offers to give the man a lift, and, one last time, the man passes, replying, "The good Lord will surely rescue me," and the chopper flies away.
Eventually the man drowns when the flood waters rise above his roof.
Once in heaven the man asks God, "What was up with that? Why'd you leave me hanging like that? Why didn't you save me? I was good, I went to church, I confessed all my sins, and followed the bible, why wasn't I rescued?"
God replies,"What are you talking about? I sent two boats and a helicopter!"
A cut above the rest
Once upon a time a powerful emperor of the rising sun advertised for a new chief samurai. Three men applied, A Japanese samurai, A Chinese swordsman And a Jewish samurai. The three met with the emperor to see who would get the job. "Japanese Samurai Show me your skill", the Japanese samurai stepped forward and released a fly from a box and the Japanese samurai cut the fly in two. "very impressive" said the emperor. "Chinese Swordsman Show me your stuff", the Chinese man stepped forth and released a fly from its box and with two swings of his swords cut the fly neatly into Quarters. "A marvelous feat" the Chinese swordsman was pleased. "How are you going to top that Jewish samurai?" The Jewish Samurai stepped forth and released his fly from a box, and with a mighty blow swepped his sword through the air and the fly continued to fly about. "what kind of skill is that? the fly isn't dead" the emperor laughed. "dead is easy" the Jewish samurai replied "Circumcision... now that takes skill".
A chef accidentally put yeast in his broth
The result was soup rising
Why couldn't the birthday clown make balloon animals for the children?
With the rising cost of inflation he couldn't afford it anymore.
The price of Helium is rising...
Inflation s**....
Religious gardening rising in popularity with today's youth.
Parents around the nation are alarmed at their teens obsession with Sects and Violets.
What did the rising sun say to the morning dew?
You will be mist.
Vaccination awareness is rising
Last night I saw a young man vaccinate himself behind a dumpster
An Irish man decides to go on Mastermind....
He's called to the chair.
'Your chosen subject?' asks the presenter.
'Easter Rising of 1916, sir,' he replied.
Time starts now ... What was the date of the Easter Rising of 1916?'
'Pass.'
'Who led the Easter Rising of 1916?'
'Pass.'
'How many men were involved in the Easter Rising of 1916?'
'Pass.'
Suddenly an Irish voice boomed from the studio audience:
'That's right, p**... - tell them nothing!'
Man, I sure am mad about the rising bullet prices...
Now I get less bang for my buck!
What direction was Kanye West facing when his dough was rising?
Yeast ;D
*cringe*
A man walks up to Ryu
"Can I see your famous Rising Dragon Fist?"
"Shor-yu-ken!"
Grave robber
grave robber: oh no i dug up the wrong grave
me, rising from my coffin: you should have said you made a grave mistake
A basketball player and a jockey are stuck in rising water so the jockey asks what they should do.
The basketball player says "It's not up to me, it's up to you".
A Republican and a scientist were together during the last moments of the Titanic...
The scientist said "In a hundred years that giant iceberg would melt and contribute in the rising of the sea level."
Then the Republican said "If we're sinking, why are we a hundred feet up in the air?"
Did you know that global warming is making students do worse?
Because all I've heard is that C levels are rising.
In germany after the succes of Uber and Ubereats a new app is rising under elderly folk for finding people to help in your household
They're calling it Ubermensch
What do you call it when an autistic child has a fever?
Mercury Rising.
p**... goes for a job, boss man says it is £10.00 per hour rising to £15.00 per hour after 6 months, when can you start? p**... says.
In 6 months.
Two sailors are on deck looking out to sea.
In the distance, a huge hand rises from the water.
It keeps rising as the wrist and forearm become visible, the fingers stretching into the air. It wobbles back and forward then falls, crashing into the sea.
One sailor turns to the other and asks, 'Did you see the size of that wave?
More people would read books if publishers just added the phrase "In My Pants" to the end of every title.
War of the Worlds in My Pants
The Two Towers in My Pants
Great Expectations in My Pants
To Kill a Mockingbird in My Pants
Rising Strong in My Pants
Pornhub is making a big change
Due to rising tensions, Pornhub has decided to change the category m**...' to 'Equalbation'
In light of the rising number of r**... cases, the police is advising women to carry a Tide pod in their purses at all times.
It's supposed to deter gents.
>!Had to change up the premise a bit, since in my language detergente - > deter gente, literally "to detain/arrest people". Glad it works out almost the same!<
Some people love watching white bears get a**..., others hate it.
It's polar rising
For Halloween I was going to dress up as the rising Covid cases
But that doesn't seem to scare anyone
Investing in Bitcoin is like s**... without a c**...
Everyone's pushing you to do it and it feels good once it's rising, but not withdrawing in time can be costly.
I've decided to stop going to my doctor now I've found out he's into astrology
I went to get the results of a scan and all he had to say was "I've consulted your chart and I can see Cancer is rising in Uranus".
I was boiling some noodles until the p**... suddenly began to float.
Needless to say, it was soup rising.
I told my gay friend about the rising costs of recreational m**....
He told me that he doesn't need to pay for w**... when he can just go to Afghanistan and get s**... for free.
A substitute teacher enters the class and asks:
"What do we call it when a muscle moves in our body involuntarily?"
No answer comes from the students. After waiting for a while the teacher decides to move on with another topic, but he sees a reluctant hand rising from the back row. The teacher tells him to answer. The kid replies:
"A tick, sir"
"Very good, son! What is your name?"
"Tavit"
Flash Sale!
With gas prices being so high, and inflation rising at such an alarming rate, I have no choice but to shamefully sell my n**....
$1 to receive one
$50 to NOT receive one
As a result of rising gas prices...
kidnap victims will no longer be taken to a second location.
If food prices keep rising
The five second rule will be replaced by the not fuzzy yet rule.
A priest is being chased through the woods by a hungry bear.
As the priest is running, he makes an impassioned plea to God: Oh please God, in your infinite wisdom and mercy, turn this bear into a good Christian!
Before he can get another word out, he trips over a log and goes sprawling. The bear catches up and approaches the terrified priest. Rising up on its hind legs, it puts its paws together, and says
Lord, thank you for this meal that I am about to receive.
Two muffins are rising in the oven
One says to the other "Hot enough in here for ya?"
The other muffin says "Oh my god! a talking muffin!"
Due to rising costs, I stopped using toilet paper. Instead, I'm using newspaper now
Man, The Times are rough.