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Rises Jokes

66 rises jokes and hilarious rises puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about rises that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.

This article explores the surprising rise of jokes about the Dark Knight Rises, from its ascend in popularity to its flops. Find out how the joke became a sensation, and how you can join in the fun.

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Funniest Rises Short Jokes

Short rises jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The rises humour may include short risen jokes also.

  1. With the rise of self-driving vehicles... With the rise of self-driving vehicles, it's only a matter of time before we get a country song where a guy's truck leaves him too
  2. No one should have been surprised by the rise of the USSR after World War II. I mean, there were red flags everywhere.
  3. With the rise of self driving vehicles, we shall soon hear a country song about a guy's truck leaving him too.
  4. My 8 year old sister's joke: There were 12 fish in a pond. One of the dies. Why did the water level in the pond rise? -Because the other fish were crying.
  5. airport police say that the number of people smuggling helium balloons in their luggage is under control. But cases continue to rise.
  6. Apparently there's a beef shortage on the rise. Good news is fast food restaurants shouldn't be affected.
  7. How to solve Global Warming: Convince republicans that rising temperatures are turning people gay.
  8. Have you heard about the rising political tensions between yogurt and penicillin? One side is probiotic, and the other is antibiotic. They're calling it a culture war.
  9. How do you solve climate change? Convince Republicans that rising temperatures are turning people gay.
  10. I got a pay rise in my job. At the end of the day, I went to the pub and bought a drink for everyone there.
    I like to be generous, even if they did feel a bit weird sharing the same pint.

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Rises One Liners

Which rises one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with rises? I can suggest the ones about rising and ascends.

  1. What happens when Catwoman takes off her suit? The Dark Knight Rises!
  2. The price of balloon is said to rise. It's only logical with all the inflation.
  3. This morning I was wondering why the sun wasn't rising... And then it dawned on me
  4. Due to rising costs, Old mcdonald had to sell his farm. E-I-E-I-Owes a lot of money.
  5. Bread is a lot like the sun.. It rises in the yeast and sets in the waist.
  6. Is your refrigerator running? Because refrigerator obesity is on the rise.
  7. What happens when Batman sees Catwoman? The Dark Knight rises.
  8. I support the anti-mask people Thanks to them the average IQ is rising
  9. Why is the demand for potato chips rising in China? They need clean air.
  10. I stayed up all night waiting for the sun to rise then it dawned on me
  11. What do you get if you cross shoe polish with yeast? Loafers that rise and shine
  12. Bread is like the Sun It rises in the yeast and sets in the waist
  13. Torrential rainfall? Rising floodwaters?! No escape?!! Don't worry... I Noah guy.
  14. Ever wondered why bread is just like the sun? It rises in the yeast and sets in the waist
  15. Why did balloon prices keep rising? Because they had to adjust for inflation.

Dark Knight Rises Jokes

Here is a list of funny dark knight rises jokes and even better dark knight rises puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • The Expendables 2 Review: I haven't seen that much shooting in a movie since I went to watch The Dark Knight Rises.
  • Obama The Dark Knight (2008) The Dark Knight Rises (2012) Congratulations, Barack Obama.
  • What happens when Batman is fighting Harley Quinn? The dark knight rises.
  • a caring mother makes her son loafs of bread shaped like batman, to make his sandwiches fun every time. guess what happens when it's in the oven? the dark knight rises.
  • A lady and I once spent our 9th date seeing the dark knight rises So to summarise our dating life it was like this, Dinner, Dinner, Dinner, Dinner, Dinner, Dinner, Dinner, Dinner, Batman
  • What happened when Batman meets Batgirl? The dark knight rises.
  • Whenever Batman sees a women Dark Knight rises.
  • What do you call it when a black guy gets a hard on? The Dark Knight Rises
  • Hey! Have you seen "The Dark Knight Rises"? I heard the audience dies.
  • The Dark Knight Rises had the Best 3D Ever! It was like the bullets were coming right at you!
Rises joke, The Dark Knight Rises had the Best 3D Ever!

Comical Puns & Laughs: Enjoy Fun, Witty Rises Jokes with Friends.

What funny jokes about rises you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean he has risen jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make rises pranks.

Why did the plane c**...?

The pilot was a loaf of bread... But how did the plane take off?
Yeast Rises

A plane is going to c**......

The passengers on board know they only have a few minutes left to live and one woman stands up from her chair and calls out to everyone. "We're all going to die...but before we do, is there anyone on board who can make me feel like a woman?"
A young handsome man rises up from his seat with a look of strong determination and nods with certainty. "Of course, I can!" And he pulls his shirt off at once.
He holds it out to her and says "Here, iron this!"

If Joan Rivers rises from the ashes....

Will she be Rivers Phoenix?

Corny jokes!

Q: Why can't a bicycle stand on its own?
A: Because it's two-tired.
Q: What happens to nitrogen when the sun rises?
A: It becomes daytrogen.
Q: Where did Noah keep his bees?
A: In the Ark Hives!
Q: Can February March?
A: No, but April May.
Q: What is it called when you kill a friend?
A: Homiecide
"Fish tanks are s**...!"
"Why?"
"Fish don't even have any militaries!"

My first self-made joke

A professor asks his students "If i told you that 90% of Asians end up not getting married , Will you believe that statement ? "
A student rises up and answers "Yes"
Professor "Why would you believe that ?"
Student "Because Asians are smart"

What's the difference between h**... and the sun?

The sun rises in the East and h**... goes down in the East. (A popular joke in Berlin when the n**... were suffering huge losses there).

I woke up this morning and forgot which side the sun rises from,

then it dawned on me

What happensto nitrogen when the sun rises?

It becomes daytrogen
^I'msorry

Jesus sits down at the Last Supper with his disciples.

He rises and addresses them: "I'm the son of God."
"No way!" they say.
"Yahweh."

Why is Jesus' body bread?

Because given enough time it rises

The Sun is similar to Beer

Sun rises in the east and sets in the west.
Beer rises in yeast and sets in the waist .

I started using kosher yeast in all my baking

Now my bread rises 3 days later

Tracking efficiency in dogs rises 300% when fed diets of salmon.

Give it a fish an' see

If the average world temperature rises 2 degrees Celsius, mankind is doomed.

That is why America measures temperature in Fahrenheit.

Schwebels stocks are up

I guess that's because dough rises.

Why don't water and kerosene mix?

Because the lighter fluid rises!

Two sailors are on deck looking out to sea.

In the distance, a huge hand rises from the water.
It keeps rising as the wrist and forearm become visible, the fingers stretching into the air. It wobbles back and forward then falls, crashing into the sea.
One sailor turns to the other and asks, 'Did you see the size of that wave?

You know you're overweight when...

You get in the bath and toilet water rises.

What if that kim jong un rises from the dead??

Can we name him Kim jong undo?

A hearse was driving down the road...

When all of the sudden the back doors fling open. The coffin flies out of the hearse and it bounces all around the town, it cannot stop.
Eventually it stops and lands right in front of a drug store. The man in the coffin rises up and says Hey, you guys have anything that can stop this coughin'?

Difference between Sun and Bun. Sun rises in the East and sets in the West..........

............Bun rises in Yeast and sets in the Waist.

A Jewish Man, Killed in the Holocaust, Rises to Heaven. Once there, he Tells God a Holocaust Joke.

God contemplates the joke briefly before echoing out in a thunderous voice:
THAT'S NOT FUNNY!
The man simply shrugs:
I guess you had to be there.

Beer is just like the suns journey.

It rises in the yeast, and sets in the waist.

A man dies and goes to h**....

As he approaches the gates he is stopped by the gatekeeper who asks for his name. "Joe." he replies. "Well, joe, I've found your name on the list. There are seven levels in h**..., but since your only sin was cheating on a science test in the third grade, you will only be in the first level." "Oh, it won't be that bad then.", joe replies. "Joe, that's the hottest level because heat rises. You'd know that if you studied for your test."

A big hurricane came by and washed a beach away...

The sea rises by and says "Oy! Beach! Where's the rest of ya!?". The beach replies: "I'm not shore anymore."

A guy named Bob dies and goes to h**...

Before him stands the Devil.
"Hello, Bob. Welcome to h**..." the Devil says. "Now there are seven levels of h**... and since your only sin was cheating on a science test in third grade, you'll be moved to level 1"
"Okay, that doesn't sound so bad" Says Bob
"Level 1 is the hottest level because heat rises. You would know that if you studied for your science test, Bob"

Bread is like Sun

rises in yeast and sets in waist

What is it called when Batman gets an e**...?

The Dark Knight Rises

Remember when plastic surgery was a t**...

Now you mention Botox and no one rises an eyebrow

Rises joke, Remember when plastic surgery was a t**...

jokes about rises