Silly Ripcord Jokes for a Good Time with Friends
A parachutist is plummeting to Earth
Because her ripcord malfunctioned.
As she frantically pulls at the defective cord, she passes a man atop a stove traveling the opposite way.
She yells out to him, Hey, do you know how to fix a parachute!?
He replies back No! Do you know anything about repairing gas lines??
A young soldier was making his first parachute jump.
The corporal explained the procedure "You count to ten and pull the first ripcord. If the c**... doesn't open, pull the second. That should do it. Then, after you land, there'll be a truck waiting to pick you up."
The soldier checked his gear, called out the customary "Geronimo! " and jumped out of the plane. He counted to ten and pulled the ripcord. The c**... failed to open. He pulled the second ripcord and the c**... still didn't open. As he plummeted downward, he said, "I'll bet that g**... truck won't be there either."
A parachutist jumps from a plane...
And after a few seconds he starts to panic because the ripcord isn't working as he continues to plummet to earth. Suddenly, he sees a dude going from the ground up and yells, "Hey, do you know anything about parachutes?" The other guy yells back, "No, do you know anything about gas stoves?"
A skydiver jumps from a plane
but nothing happens when he pulls his rip-cord. He pulls the cord on his secondary c**..., but this too is broken. As he is hurdling toward the earth, he sees a man coming straight up toward him. 'Hey!' shouts the skydiver. 'Know anything about parachutes?!' 'No!' shouts the man. 'Know anything about gas barbecues?!'
A man is falling out of a plane.
A man is falling out of a plane, intending to go parachuting. He pulls the ripcord, and it breaks.
Okay, he thinks. That's why there's a backup. He pulls the backup ripcord, and... It breaks.
At this point, he's thoroughly worried. But then, he sees a guy flying up right at him, as though propelled by an e**....
"HEY!" He shouts. "DO YOU KNOW ANYTHING ABOUT PARACHUTES?"
"NO!" Replies the propelled man. "DO YOU KNOW ANYTHING ABOUT PROPANE GRILLS?"
Ole and Lars went skydiving
Ole jumped out of the plane and pulled his ripcord. His parachute opened, and he started his gentle descent.
Lars jumped out of the plane and pulled his ripcord. Nothing happened. He pulled his emergency cord. Nothing happened.
Ole watched Lars plummet past him, and started undoing his harness.
"So you wanna race, huh?"
Putting a ring on a woman's finger...
is like pulling the ripcord on an inflatable raft.
