Riot Jokes

75 riot jokes and hilarious riot puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about riot that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.

Explore the lighter side of civil unrest with these riot jokes! Filled with puns, quick one-liners, and tongue-in-cheek jokes at the expense of rioters and protestors, you'll find yourself laughing in the face of pandemonium! Make sure you don protective gear; this will be a laugh riot!

Funniest Riot Short Jokes

Short riot jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The riot humour may include short roulette jokes also.

  1. JOB OPPORTUNITY: Riot police officers needed. interview are being held tomorrow. Come early....
    ....beat the crowd.
  2. So President Trump got into his Bunker because of the Riots. As a german Guy I can say from experience that from this moment its not getting any better.
  3. Why Aren't There Riots When White People Get Killed? Because white people have work in the morning.
  4. An Apple Store in Minneapolis reported losing $200,000 in inventory to riot-related theft. 'Thankfully the looters took nothing but two iPhones' the store's associate manager said.
  5. How do you stop all the protests and riots? Play the national anthem. They'll all sit down
  6. Have you heard about the rioting in Baltimore? So far they've caused 4 million dollars in improvements.
  7. They're only called patriots if they come from the Pat region in France otherwise, they are just sparkling riots
  8. So we hated congress a few days ago for not giving us $2000 but today we love then after the riot yesterday... abusive relationships do work
  9. In St. Louis right now, thought this was appropriate: How many black people does it take to start a riot? -1
  10. The Ferguson riots were really unsettling guys. I heard today that the only way they could disperse the crowd is by handing out job applications.

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Riot One Liners

Which riot one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with riot? I can suggest the ones about ripper and irate.

  1. Why do riot police like to get to work early? To beat the crowd.
  2. Why did the riot police show up to the protest so early? To beat the crowd
  3. Why did the riot police show up early to the protest? They wanted to beat the crowd.
  4. How Many People Do the Police Have to Kill to Start a Riot? 3/5ths
  5. Why do riot police wake up early? they can beat the crowds
  6. What do Jews throw when they riot? Mozeltov Cocktails
  7. How many black people does it take to start a riot? One less than before
  8. How did the orchestra start a riot? With violins
  9. Why do riot police get to work early? To beat the crowd
  10. Why did the riot cop leave for work early? Because he had to beat the crowds.
  11. Why do the riot police like to go to Black Friday early? So they can beat the crowd
  12. How did the riot police get to work on time? By beating the crowd.
  13. Did u hear the joke about the cure for covid19? It's a riot
  14. I know how to stop all these riots. Play the national anthem, they'll all sit down.
  15. Have you heard of the amputee protest that turned into a riot? It was out of hand.

Riot joke, Have you heard of the amputee protest that turned into a riot?

Rib-Tickling Riot Jokes that Bring Friends Together

What funny jokes about riot you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean rage jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make riot pranks.

Have you heard the one about the angry mob?

It's a riot.

How many b**... does it take to start a riot?


How many black people do you need for a riot?


Why are they rioting in Ferguson?

Because they carefully and objectively reviewed the evidence from the trial and thought a legitimate injustice had been done.

Did you hear about the riot at the bar mitzvah reception?

There were mazel tov cocktails everywhere!

"Now then" said the warden addressing the three instigators of a failed prison riot.....

"I would like to know two things: First: why did you revolt? Second: how did you get out of our cell?" One of the three men stepped forward "Warden, we rebelled because the food is awful". "I see. And the cell, what did you use to break the bars?" "Toast" replied the leader,

How many people do the cops need to kill in order to start a riot?


Why did the L.A. riots last only 4 days?

Everyone knows black people can't work a full week.

Rioters are destroying Baltimore.

Don't worry though, all the bookstores are safe.

These riots remind me of basketball

There are always people stealing, but you can't win without shooting.

Rioters are like school in July.

No class.

What do you call riot police in Germany?

k**... Control

Kevin Hart is performing in Baltimore tonight.....

Should be a riot :p

I went to Egypt in the summer

It was an absolute riot

A Brit shopping for pants just caused a riot at a Black Lives Matter protest outside our local Walmart

He asked someone if the store sold knickers.

What is the collective noun for three dyslexics?

A riot.

What's a riot?

Three dyslexics

The riot police are always early.

I hear it helps them beat the crowds.

What do rioting jewish people throw?

Mazel tov cocktails

How many black people do you need to start a riot?

Negative 1.

Why do the riot police show up at concerts early?

To beat the crowd.

My dad who has a really thick Asian accent just asked me..

Did you see the white *super racist* riot in Virginia? He was trying to say **supremacist**. Honestly, he wasn't wrong tho.

What do you call white riot

A protest

Did you hear about the riot at the Renaissance fair?

There was luting in the streets

When I overheard one of my cashiers tell a customer.

"We haven't had it for a while, and I doubt we'll be getting it soon," I quickly assured the customer that we would have whatever it was she wanted by next week. After she left, I read the cashier the riot act.
"Never tell the customer that we're out of anything. Tell them we'll have it next week," I instructed her. "Now, what did she want?"

Why is Riot Games dying?

The company is basically worth Tencents now.

Did you hear the one about the French Revolution?

It's a riot

My French friends said they were taking me out for some fun...

It was a riot!

Blowout sale!

Did you hear about the recent sale in SoHo?
People used coupon code RIOT and got 100% off.

My friend told me a fantastic joke about 2020

It's a riot actually

When does a bad apple become rotten?

When it dons full riot gear and covers up its badge number.

What do you call a riot wih social distancing?

A repellion.

There's a heavy riot across US..

Trump administration undecided who to call, Avengers or Justice League.

I can't believe it's riot season already

I still have my Covid decorations up

Did you all hear the joke about the cure for Covid 19?

It's a riot

What do you call a riot in a restaurant?

An eating disorder

What do you call a h**... in a riot?

A protestitute.

Some rioters just destroyed a Vietnamese restaurant.

Must've been anti-pho.

Adam Johnson, the man pictured carrying House Speaker Nancy Pelosi's lectern during the Capitol riot, has been arrested in Florida

His lawyer has confirmed that at trial he will not be taking the stand.

Rioters now have their own dating app.

It's called Plenty of Sheep

What do you call it when dried grapes start a riot

Raisin' h**...

The capital police chief asked, "Do you have any leads or suspects for the congressional riot?" The officer responded, "I'd like to question the senator wearing high heels and a spandex leopard print dress." The chief frowned and said...

"Please, just wear your police uniform."

Riot joke, The capital police chief asked, "Do you have any leads or suspects for the congressional riot?" The

jokes about riot