Ringmaster Jokes

So the human cannonball decided to quit his job at the circus...

The ringmaster said "Please, no you can't! We'll never be able to find another man of your caliber!"

In a tragic accident, the circus' human cannonball was killed today.

When asked if he will find a replacement, the Ringmaster responded, "Where will I ever find another man of his caliber?"

An 80 year old lady gets married for the 4th time.

This time to a f**... director.
The local paper does a story on her and they ask her about her previous marriages.
She tells them that at 20 she married a bank manager, at 40 a ringmaster, at 60 a pastor and at 80 a f**... director.
The reporter asks her why?
1 for the money, 2 for the show, 3 to get ready and 4 to go.

The Circus needed a new act...

there were 2 performers gunning for the opportunity: a beatiful woman and a man badly dressed.
The woman started her act, which was lion taming: she stripped stark n**..., entered the lion´s cage, and made the beast postrate and lick her entire body, from head to toes.
The ringmaster was impressed, and asked the other performer:
"Can you do better than that?"
"Yes, and I dont even need to be whipped"

A circus is holding auditions and a 91 year old man shows up. "What do you do?" asks the ringmaster.

"I bend over backwards," says the man, "and pick up a handkerchief off the floor with my teeth."
"Wow," says the ringmaster, impressed that this elderly man is agile enough to do this. "Then what do you do?" he asks.
"Then I bend over again," says the man, "and pick up my teeth."

When the human cannonball submitted his two week notice the ringmaster had trouble finding another man of his caliber.

The Human Cannonball shows up to the circus one day to tell the Ringmaster he's quitting

Upset, the Ringmaster pleads him not to leave; "Please, don't go!" he says, "Where will I ever find another man of your caliber?"

What's the difference between an Italian barber and an angry circus ringmaster?

Ones a shaving roman and the others a raving showman.