Ringing Jokes
106 ringing jokes and hilarious ringing puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about ringing that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
Funny jokes about ringing phones, bells and more! Ready to have your sides split? Read on to see what happens when the ringer just won't quit. Get the latest on ringing jokes and find out why phones never seem to stop ringing.
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Funniest Ringing Short Jokes
Short ringing jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The ringing humour may include short ringer jokes also.
- If any of you here are thinking of getting married, consider the following before you do. On the one hand, you get to wear a pretty cool ring.
On the other hand, you don't. - My wife woke up just now. She is dreaming and muttering about how she wrote the lord of the rings trilogy. She's Tolkien in her sleep.
- I'm not saying it's a mistake letting my girlfriend control the thermostat... But two Hobbits just showed up and threw a ring into our bedroom.
- Wife asks: Why are you watching our wedding video backwards? — I like the part when I take the ring off your finger, leave church and go to the bar with friends.
- I went to the library and asked for a book on Pavlov's dog and Shrodinger's Cat The librarian said "That rings a bell but I don't know if it's here or not."
- Last night I dreamed I was the author of The Lord of the Rings. I've been Tolkien in my sleep.
- I'm beginning to suspect that the Tinnitus Hotline isn't actually staffed Any time I call, it just keeps ringing.
- Pavlov is sitting at a bar... ...when another patron walks in and a bell on the door rings. Pavlov stands up, says, "I forgot to feed the dogs," and leaves.
- Getting married is great. But, before you do it, there are some things you have to consider. On one hand, you get to wear a pretty cool ring.
On the other hand, you don't. - A guy walks into a bookstore and asks for a book on Pavlov and Schrodinger. The book keeper says it rings a bell but he doesn't know if it is there or not.
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Ringing One Liners
Which ringing one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with ringing? I can suggest the ones about ring doorbell and doorbell.
- Wives are like grenades... Remove the ring and boom, house is gone!
- I called the tinnitus hotline but it just kept ringing :/
- So I lost my mood ring yesterday... I'm not sure how I feel about that.
- A wife is like a hand grenade... remove the ring and your house is gone!
- Somebody stole my mood ring I'm not quite sure how I feel about it.
- A wife is like a hand grenade... Take off the ring and say good bye to your house.
- Sauron is a great name It has a nice ring to it
- How are a grenade and a wife similar? If you pull the ring off it, the house is gone
- i really like the name saturn it has a nice ring to it
- A wife is like a hand grenade you take away the ring, and there goes your house
- What do a woman and a grenade have in common? Pull off the ring and the house is gone.
- Whoever lost their iPhone outside the bar Please stop ringing my new phone.
- I lost my mood ring this morning. I don't know how I feel about that.
- Someone stole my mood ring... I'm not sure how I feel about that....
- What do you call a ring of iron atoms? A ferrous wheel.
Bell Ringing Jokes
Here is a list of funny bell ringing jokes and even better bell ringing puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- "A man walks into a library and asks the librarian for a book on Pavlov's dog and Schrödinger's cat." "The librarian says, 'It rings a bell but I'm not sure if it's here or not!'"
- A man goes into a library and asks for a book about Pavlov's dogs and Schrodinger's cat. The librarian says, "It rings a bell, but I don't know whether it's there or not."
- Have you heard about the man who goes around knocking on doors? "Doesn't ring a bell"
"That's him!" - The secret to Pavlov's hair? Just a classical conditioner.
(I hope the name rings a bell) - A guy asks a librarian if she has a book about Pavlov's dogs and Schrodinger's cat She says, "It rings a bell but I can't be certain."
- [OC] Why did Pavlov ring a bell every time a breeze entered his room? Air Conditioning
- A woman walks up to a librarian and asks, "Do you have any books on Pavlov's dogs and Schrodinger's cat?" The librarian replies, "It rings a bell, but I don't know if it's here or not."
- Someone asked me if I knew who Pavlov was… I said, No, but his name rings a bell.
- I asked my dog if he'd ever heard of Pavlov He said, "I can't say for sure, but the name rings a bell."
- Pavlov goes on a trip... But when someone rings a bell he realizes he forgot to feed the dog.
Bells Ringing Jokes
Here is a list of funny bells ringing jokes and even better bells ringing puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- Modern art is easy to understand. If you take a dump on someone's door mat, ring the bell and run away - it's an installation. If you ring the bell and then take a dump - it's a performance.
- The name Pavlov rings a bell.
- "Have you ever heard of the Hunchback of Notre Dame?" "It rings a bell"
- Yo mama so dumb she tried to ring Taco Bell.
- Went to the library to get a book co-written by Pavlov and Schroedinger. Librarian said "it rings a bell but I'm not sure if we have it in or not"
- I asked a librarian About some books about Pavlov's dogs and Schroedinger's cat. She said it rings a bell, but doesn't know if it's here or not.
- I asked my Dad if he'd heard of Pavlov's Dogs He said It rings a bell
- Pavlov walks into a bar ... The bell rings, and he says:
"Oh sh*t, I forgot to feed my dogs." - Psychology Professor: Who here has heard of Pavlov? Me: Rings a bell
- Breaking bad I was talking to someone about Breaking Bad and they asked me if I remembered who Hector Salamanca was, I told them that he rings a bell

Phone Ringing Jokes
Here is a list of funny phone ringing jokes and even better phone ringing puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- Why did the hobbit set his cell phone to vibrate? He was afraid the ring would give him away.
- Why did the Hobbit put his phone on silent? Because he was bored of the rings!
- Office assistant is throwing darts at a picture of her boss. Phone rings. It's the boss.
Boss: What are you doing right now?
Assistant: Missing you. - The phone rings, and Dad asks: What does the caller ID say? Mom: It's a private caller.
Dad: Don't answer that. We only pick up for ranks Lieutenant Caller and higher. - My wife was complaining that nobody ever phoned her, so I put a "How's my driving?" sticker on her car. Her phone hasn't stopped ringing since.
- How did the phone propose to his girlfriend? He gave her a ring.
- Comeback Joke * nerds phone rings in class *
Cool Guy - awww, was that your mommy?
* whole class laughs *
Nerd Guy - nope, it was yours.
* whole class is silent * - What do the colors green, pink, and yellow have in common with a phone? The phone rings green....green.....green, so you pink it up and say yellow.
- What should you do when your car breaks down on the side of the road? Wait for 10 minutes...When the phone rings, you can extend your car's warranty.
- Why didn't the dog answer his phone? It was ringing with no collar ID.
Still Ringing Jokes
Here is a list of funny still ringing jokes and even better still ringing puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- I can't believe my neighbor had the audacity to ring my doorbell at 2 in the morning. Lucky for him though I was still up playing my bagpipes.
- I got mugged last night! My assailants made off with everything from my shoes to my mood ring... I still don't know how I feel about that.
- Someone stole my mood ring yesterday. I still don't know how I feel about that.
- That moment when your neighbour is ringing at your door at 3am like crazy... But luckily you're still awake because you're drilling holes for your new IKEA bookcase
- The first time out with my metal detector I found a beautiful wedding ring!! But the bride was still wearing it, so the police came and now they won't give it back.
- What do you call a chance to try a fishy broth at a classy musical event? An opera-tuna-tea.
My ears are still ringing from my wife's groan. - A boyfriend says to his girlfriend, "Baby, you're kind of like Charles Barkley..." "...You've been on the team for so long and you're still not getting a ring! Happy Valentines day!"
- Everybody has their own circle of friends. Yet the police still want to refer to mine as a 'ring'.
- I keep ringing Screwfix... .. To this day they still insist they're not a matchmaking agency!
- The secret c**... ring in my school still hasnt been busted by the police It's slipping right under everyone's noses!

Ringing Jokes to Giggle and Enjoy A Night of Unforgettable Laughter
What funny jokes about ringing you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean bell ringer jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make ringing pranks.
There once was a baby born with no arms. His parents put him on the church's stairs and vanished.
The local priest took him in and raised him, eventually giving him the job of ringing the bell for evening mass. So, each day, the child lined up from across the room and ran as fast as he could to hit the bell with his head.
One day, the priest ate a banana and left the peel lying by the bell. As the child was running running running, he slipped on the banana peel and fell out the window to his death. When the cops came to investigate, the asked the priest for the child's name.
The priest said I don't know his name, but his face rings a bell.
Jehova
This morning someone was ringing the doorbell, so I opened the door and there was a young man standing there. "Hello sir" he said, "I'm a Jehova's Witness". I invited him in, offered him something to drink and we sat down in the living room. "So, what would you like to talk about?" I asked. He looked up from his cup of tea and said "To be honest sir, I havn't got the faintest idea, I never made it this far..."
I hate it when people bother me...
I'm tired of people ringing my doorbell at all hours of the day and night, asking for donations. This morning it was some woman from the s**... bank. Boy, did I give her a mouthful!
Dat Riddim
A woman asked her grandmother how her grandfather had died. "He had a heart attack while we were making love one Sunday morning," Granny said. Horrified, the granddaughter told her that two people that old having s**... would surely be asking for trouble. "Oh, no," said Granny. "Many years ago we realized that ringing church bells provided the perfect rhythm: in on the ding and out on the d**...." She paused, wiped away a tear, and continued, "But then the ice-cream truck came along."
So, a man walks into a drugstore...
...goes up to the counter and asks the clerk for two boxes of condoms. The clerk retrieves the rubbers and while she's ringing them up she asks, "Would you like a paper bag?" To which the man says, "Nah, she's pretty good lookin'."
Said to a cashier the other day...
So I was making a purchase and after ringing up my order, the cashier asks "would you like to make a donation to cancer treatment research?"
I said "no, they're just gonna spend it on drugs"
Newspaper ad - RICH WIDOW LOOKING FOR MAN TO SHARE LIFE AND FORTUNE WITH THE FOLLOWING QUALIFICATIONS:
1. WON'T BEAT ME UP
2. WON'T RUN AWAY
3. HAS TO BE GREAT IN BED
For several months, her phone rang off the hook, her doorbell was ringing constantly, she received tons of mail...all to no avail. None of the men seemed to meet her qualifications.
Then one day the doorbell rang yet again. She opened the door to find a man, with no arms and no legs, lying on the welcome mat. Perplexed, she asked, "Who are you and what do you want?"
"Hi," said the man "Your search is over, for I am the man of your dreams. I've got no arms, so I can't beat you up and I've got no legs, so I can't run away."
The old woman asked, "What makes you think you're so great in bed?"
To which he replied, "I rang the doorbell, didn't I?"
Police chase
I was racing towards a cliff with police sirens ringing in my ears when I noticed my mirror was broken and I realized there was no looking back now
What's the similarity between Santa Claus and your doorbell ringing at 3am?
It's your dad.
A man went into his local pharmacy to purchase condoms.
After ringing his item up the cashier asked, "Would you like a bag?"
The man responded, "No, she's not that ugly."
How is the monkey ringing?
How is the monkey ringing at the door?
-
King Kong , King Kong
I went to my doctor because I kept hearing this ringing in my ears.
He asked me to calm, sit down, and give him the fax.
I took the batteries out of my carbon monoxide alarm...
...the loud ringing noise from it was giving me a headache and making me dizzy.
What do Big Ben and my ex have in common?
They both won't stop ringing.
I just called the tinnitus helpline
It just kept ringing
A cashier is ringing up a customer...
Customer: Alright here you go $6.43, perfect change!
Cashier: CONGRATULATIONS! You're the 50th person to pay in exact change, you know what you get now?
Customer: No, what?!?
Cashier: Nothing!
Patient: "I have a loud ringing sound in my ears."
Doctor: "Well, Don't Answer It!"
Me: Doctor, I keep hearing a ringing noise.
Doctor: Well then answer the phone
There's this girl. She keeps ringing.
Because she Isabelle.
I saw justice in action today for the first time ever.
I went out for breakfast this morning with my girlfriend, saw a Jehovah's Witness lock himself out of his own house. Kept ringing the bell.
An odd look...
Came to the counter of the pharmacy with a box if condoms... Person ringing me up gave me a quick odd look.... I caught it and said "oh, it's not what you think... I'm a drug mule"
Campanology
Now theres a hobby that rings my bell.
tldr: I like ringing bells.
Come over
A guy and a girl had been flirting for sometime.
One day the girl says come over there's no one at home
So the guys quickly goes to the girls house and starts ringing the doorbell. He knocks and rings the doorbell again several times but... nobody answered
I keep trying to fish for telephones
**but they keep ringing off the hook**
I used to work at the tinnitus support phone line, but unfortunately I had to quit...
...I just couldn't stand the constant ringing in my ears.
SMS
I was on sofa next to my wife who was eating and typing on her phone. So I heard my phone ringing at the kitchen where I was charging it. So I went to check , the sms was from my wife and she wrote "bring the salt on your way back."
A woman walks into a supermarket
She grabs a zucchini and two limes and goes to pay for them. As the cashier is ringing up her items he comments to her;
"I can tell you're single"
The woman giggles and asks coyly
"Oh what gave that away"
The cashier replies
"Because you're fat"
Recent mobile phone technology has linked up with micro chip brain implant technology so that when your phone rings it can immediately connect without making a ringing sound.
It just won the Nobel peace prize.
When is the best time to have ringing in your ears?
Tinnitus
I heard this joke about tinnitus, but I forgot how it goes . . .
Is this ringing a bell for anyone?
Don't bother calling the tinnitus hotline
It just keeps ringing and ringing
A man goes to visit his wife who is in a coma.
One of the nurses pulls him aside and tells him that she's heard that occasionally o**... s**... will cause the person in a coma to wake up. The stimulation could literally jar the person awake. With a sly wink she leaves the hubby alone with his wife. A few minutes later alarm bells are ringing and he's screaming for help. The nurse rushes in to find the hubby pulling up his pants screaming, "I did what you said, but I think she choked."
Two friends meet up, one of them has bandages over his ears
-Hey, man, what happened?
-Well, I was still sleepy when I was ironing my clothes in the morning, I heard my phone ringing and put the iron against my ear!
-Oh man, that's rough. Hold on, you burned your ear, but why is the other one also bandaged?
-I immediately called an ambulance!
For her birthday, I got my wife an alarm clock that swears at her instead of ringing.
She's in for a rude awakening.
Just tried calling the tinnitus helpline
but it just kept ringing
I bought my wife a alarm clock which abuses you instead of ringing bells.
She's in for a rude awakening.
Is your refrigerator running?
A man walks into a bar and is about to order a beer when he's interrupted by the bar phone ringing. The bartender answers. A voice asks, "Is your refrigerator running?" The bartender replies with a sigh. "Yes" The voice replies,"Good. Mine too. I'll see you at the refrigerator races tomorrow."
I called the Tinitutus Helpline.
It didn't stop ringing.
Called the tinnitus hotline.
0 stars - never stopped ringing.
Play it cool...
(Phone ringing)
Boss: Why the h**... aren't you picking that up?
Me: I always answer on the third ring, it makes me seem cooler.
Boss: PICK IT UP!
Me: (rolling eyes) Fine, (picks up phone) 911 what's your emergency.
I called the tinnitus helpline earlier...
... it just kept ringing!
The holidays are the most frightening time of the year for me.
I was a little dyslexic as a kid, and when I was a teen I started dabbling in the dark arts.
I think I sold my soul to Santa.
Every year when the jingle bells start ringing, I get nervous. It could be the elves coming for me.
I wouldn't suggest calling the tinnitus help hotline
It just keeps ringing
I get a ringing in my ears when it gets dark.
It's a condition called tonightis

