Ring Jokes
150 ring jokes and hilarious ring puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about ring that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
Are you looking for funny jokes about rings? Look no further! This article includes jokes about every kind of ring imaginable - from Elden Rings to engagement rings, nose rings to mood rings, even a doorbell joke! This collection of wry humor is sure to delight and entertain jewelry and bracelet fans alike.
Quick Jump To
- Short Ring Jokes
- Ring One Liners
- Ring Doorbell Jokes
- Lord Of The Ring Jokes
- Ring Finger Jokes
- Engagement Ring Jokes
- More Ring Jokes
Funniest Ring Short Jokes
Short ring jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The ring humour may include short ribbon jokes also.
- If any of you here are thinking of getting married, consider the following before you do. On the one hand, you get to wear a pretty cool ring.
On the other hand, you don't. - My wife woke up just now. She is dreaming and muttering about how she wrote the lord of the rings trilogy. She's Tolkien in her sleep.
- I'm not saying it's a mistake letting my girlfriend control the thermostat... But two Hobbits just showed up and threw a ring into our bedroom.
- Wife asks: Why are you watching our wedding video backwards? — I like the part when I take the ring off your finger, leave church and go to the bar with friends.
- I went to the library and asked for a book on Pavlov's dog and Shrodinger's Cat The librarian said "That rings a bell but I don't know if it's here or not."
- Last night I dreamed I was the author of The Lord of the Rings. I've been Tolkien in my sleep.
- I'm beginning to suspect that the Tinnitus Hotline isn't actually staffed Any time I call, it just keeps ringing.
- Pavlov is sitting at a bar... ...when another patron walks in and a bell on the door rings. Pavlov stands up, says, "I forgot to feed the dogs," and leaves.
- Getting married is great. But, before you do it, there are some things you have to consider. On one hand, you get to wear a pretty cool ring.
On the other hand, you don't. - A guy walks into a bookstore and asks for a book on Pavlov and Schrodinger. The book keeper says it rings a bell but he doesn't know if it is there or not.
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Ring One Liners
Which ring one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with ring? I can suggest the ones about round and cord.
- Wives are like grenades... Remove the ring and boom, house is gone!
- I called the tinnitus hotline but it just kept ringing :/
- So I lost my mood ring yesterday... I'm not sure how I feel about that.
- A wife is like a hand grenade... remove the ring and your house is gone!
- Somebody stole my mood ring I'm not quite sure how I feel about it.
- A wife is like a hand grenade... Take off the ring and say good bye to your house.
- Sauron is a great name It has a nice ring to it
- How are a grenade and a wife similar? If you pull the ring off it, the house is gone
- i really like the name saturn it has a nice ring to it
- A wife is like a hand grenade you take away the ring, and there goes your house
- What do a woman and a grenade have in common? Pull off the ring and the house is gone.
- Whoever lost their iPhone outside the bar Please stop ringing my new phone.
- I lost my mood ring this morning. I don't know how I feel about that.
- Someone stole my mood ring... I'm not sure how I feel about that....
- What do you call a ring of iron atoms? A ferrous wheel.
Ring Doorbell Jokes
Here is a list of funny ring doorbell jokes and even better ring doorbell puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- My uncle runs a clinic inside a hotel in Spain He come out late at night to ring people's doorbells.
Because nobody suspects The Spanish Inn Physician - I can't believe my neighbor had the audacity to ring my doorbell at 2 in the morning. Lucky for him though I was still up playing my bagpipes.
- Every time my doorbell rings my dog stands in the corner He's a boxer
- The doorbell rings and the son walks to open the door. - Who is it?
- It's the landlord, I'm here to collect rent.
- Mom! It's the landlord. Do you have money or should I go play outside again? - Why do dogs always bark when someone ring the doorbell? No, seriously. It's almost never for them.
- Amazon is Suing FromSoftware. Elden Ring will have to change its name to Elden Doorbell
- Pavlov sits in his house on a Saturday afternoon, drinking his tea. When someone rings the doorbell.
He stands up quickly.
"I have to feed the dog!" - My dog and I both freak out whenever the doorbell rings but we run in opposite directions.
- What's the similarity between Santa Claus and your doorbell ringing at 3am? It's your dad.
- A nutritionist throws a party A few minutes in, the doorbell rings. One guest walks up to the door and says,"It's Thomas from work!"
"Well," replied the nutritionist, "In-vitamin."
Lord Of The Ring Jokes
Here is a list of funny lord of the ring jokes and even better lord of the ring puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- How to anger Lord of the Rings fans? When you're watching The Two Towers and the ents are marching, shout "RUN, FOREST! RUN!"
- Last night I dreamt that I wrote 'Lord of the Rings'. I realized I was just Tolkien in my sleep...
- Ringwraiths My daughter watching Lord of the rings:
D: So the hobbits call the nazgul the black riders right?
Me: yeah
D: the nazgul are like: 'yo, that's wraithist'
Cue facepalm. - Did you hear? Copies of The Lord of the Rings, The Hobbit, and The Silmarillion are considered one-of-a-kind when sold and traded. They're Non-Fungible Tolkiens.
- If Charles Dickens wrote The Lord of the Rings, how would the novel have started? It was the best of Shires. It was the Worcestershires.
- What's the title of audi CEO? Lord of the Rings.
- How did Bilbo survive the entire Lord of the Rings trilogy? Because old Hobbits die hard...
- I bought myself a 6 ft boomerang with Lord of the Rings characters on it. It's really hard to Frodo
- Which Lord of the Rings character was upset because he had no toys to play with? Legoless.
- Lord of the Rings is symbolic of Marriage One ring rules your life, it slowly destroys you, and sometimes, death seems easier than continuing on.
Ring Finger Jokes
Here is a list of funny ring finger jokes and even better ring finger puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- I played my wedding video backwards today. It really cheered me up to see me take the ring off my wife's finger, walk out of church and go drinking with my friends.
- I recently watched my wedding video backwards. I love the part where I take the ring off her finger, leave the church and go drinking with my friends.
- I lost a good friend and long time drinking buddy a few days ago in a tragic accident he got his finger caught in a wedding ring
- What has a ring but no fingers? The former owner of a Note 7
- My friend had a tragic accident. He got his finger stuck in a wedding ring.
- Wearing Your Wedding! A: Aren't you wearing your wedding ring on the wrong finger?
B: Yes I am, I married the wrong woman. - It's impossible for the knuckle of your ring finger and the knuckle of your index finger to touch while giving the bird Haha. I just made you flick yourself off.
- Sadly, my best friend of many years lost his life earlier today. He got his finger caught in a wedding ring.
- "Why do you always wear your wedding ring on the wrong finger?" "Because I married the wrong woman."
- My friend asked what me what I hated the most on a beautiful girl. Me: The ring on her finger.
My friend: What's next?
Me: The ring on my finger...
Engagement Ring Jokes
Here is a list of funny engagement ring jokes and even better engagement ring puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- Did you know there are 3 rings in a relationship? The engagement ring, the wedding ring and the suffer ring
- Every marriage has 3 rings. First is the engagement ring. Second, the wedding ring. Then comes the suffering.
- I was taught there are 3 rings in life. The engagement ring. The wedding ring. And the suffering.
- They say marriage is like a three-ring circus First, you get the engagement ring.
Then, you get the wedding ring.
And finally, you get suffering - My dog swallowed my engagement ring last night, but luckily coughed it out when he barked. There was a diamond in the ruff.
- If I worked in a restaurant.... on Valentines Day I'd put a fake engagement ring in every girl's drink.
- The three types of rings pertaining to marriage… 1. The engagement ring.
2. The wedding ring.
3. The suffering. - Marriage is a three-ring circus. \- engagement ring
\- wedding ring
\- suffering - What are the three rings of marriage? The first one is the engagement ring...the second one is the wedding ring...and the third one is the suffering.
- I asked my partner what sort of engagement ring she'd like. "One that's a bit like you," she said.
"Full of sparkle?"
"Cheap and round," she replied.
Hilarious Ring Jokes to Make Your Friends Roar with Laughter
What funny jokes about ring you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean rack jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make ring pranks.
A monastery's bell ringer died and the monks put an ad in the paper for a new one.
The next day a man comes to the door to apply and he has no arms. The head monk says:
"Sir, how can you ring our bell if you have no arms?"
The applicant replied, "Just give me a chance, take me to the bell tower and I'll show you."
The all get to the bell tower and ask him to show them how he plans to do it. The applicant gets a running start and slams his face into the bell "RINNNNNNGGGGGGGG"
Before anyone could stop him, he backs up and runs s**... into the bell again and falls to the ground dead.
The head monk spoke up, "Did anyone catch his name?"
Another monk said, "No, but his face sure rings a bell."
An elderly woman decides she wants a husband...
An elderly woman decides its time she starts looking for husband, so she puts out and ad in the local news paper stating:
LOOKING FOR A HUSBAND HE MUST:
•not beat me
•not leave me
•be good in bed
So with these simple requirements she waits a few days with no response, but then one morning she hers her doorbell ring and goes to answer it. Standing at the door is a man with no arms and no legs. She asks him, "Are you here about the ad?" he replied, "Yes, I meet all the requirements see, I have no arms therefor I cannot beat you, and I have no legs therefor I cannot leave you." she asks, "well are you good in bed?" the man responds, "I rang the doorbell didn't I?"
My mother told me this one...
One day a lonely woman decided to call the dating service. They asked her what she wanted in a man. She replied "I want a man who won't hit me, I want a man who won't leave me, and I want a great lover!" They said ok he will be there in one hour. So the woman gets ready for her date, and an hour later she hears the doorbell ring. She goes to the door but no one is there. When all of a sudden she hears "down here!". She looks down and sees a man with no arms and no legs lying on the doormat. She asks "can i help you?" He says "I am from the dating service." But she does not believe him. He sees this and says "just tell me what you want in a man. She says "I want a man who won't hit me". "Lady I ain't got any arms". "I want a man who wont leave me". "Lady I ain't got no legs". "And I want a great lover" she says. To which he replies "lady, how do you think I rang the doorbell?"
What do you get when Gandalf and Bilbo are your network engineers?
A Tolkien Ring Network
A man buys his wife a beautiful diamond ring for xmas.
After hearing about this extravagant gift, a friend of his said, "I thought she wanted one of those sporty four-wheel-drive vehicles."
"She did," he replied. "But where was I going to find a fake Jeep?"
So, my girlfriend won't let me wear my mood ring anymore...
...I'm not really sure how I feel about it
An Irishman, by the name of O'Malley proposed to his g**... St. Patrick's Day.
He gave her a ring with a synthetic diamond. The excited young lass showed it to her father, a jeweller. He took one look at it and saw it wasn't real.
The young lass on learning it wasn't real returned to her future husband. She protested vehemently about his cheapness.
'It was in honour of St.Patrick's Day, ' he smiled.
'I gave you a sham rock.'
I was mugged today...
I was mugged in an alley today, all they took was my mood ring. I'm not sure how I feel about that.
Bellboy
Once there was a church that had a bell that no one could ring. One day, a boy came and asked the priest if he could try. So the boy went up into the tower and ran straight into the bell, face-first. The bell tolled loud and clear. The shocked priest gave him the job. But one Sunday, he ran straight toward the bell with his face and missed and fell off the tower and died.
"Congregation," the priest said before the assembled masses. "Does anybody know this boy's name? Because I don't know him, but his face rings a bell."
A man looking for work
A man was looking for work. In fact, he was desperate. He heard the circus was in town and so he went and asked the ring master if there was a job for him. The ring master said, "We're lucky you showed up! Our tiger just died and he was a big part of the show. What we need you to do is put on this tiger costume and pretend to be a real tiger. Nobody will know the difference." So the man put on the tiger costume, and he had to admit, it was a very realistic costume. Soon the show started, and the time came for the tiger act. The man, eager to do a good job, lept out into the ring, snarling just like a real tiger. The crowd cheered. He did all the things the tiger was supposed to do: let the trainer stick his head in his mouth, balanced on a ball, and finally walked across a tightrope. The crowd loved it. But then a lion and a bear entered the ring. The ring master announced, "Now you will see these three ferocious beasts enter one cage together!" The man had no choice as he was herded into the cage with the lion and the bear. The two animals roared and snarled, and the man became afraid for his life. He began running around the cage, shouting, "Let me out! I'm not a real tiger! Help!" Then the lion grabbed him and said, "Shut up! Do you want us all to lose our jobs?"
My wife wasn't happy.
True story: I was at the store with my son and my wife. I have a habit of flipping my wedding ring in the air like a coin and catching it. My son saw me do it and tried to grab it in mid air, causing it to fall to the ground. He scrambled to get it and I said, "Son, hand me that! It's expensive!"
My son asked me, "how much did it cost, dad?"
I replied, "my life."
Hi, how much for this t**... device?
Sir, that's a wedding ring.
A man is sitting at the doctor's office
As he is doing this, he playfully rotates the wedding ring on his finger. An older gentleman across from him beckons and whispers "Son, there ain't no combination that's gonna unlock that thing".
An infinite number of mathematicians walk into a bar
First asks for a beer, second asks for half a beer, third asks for a quarter of a beer...
Barmen says "Got it, no need to continue" and proceeds to ring up two beers.
A man walks into a grocery store
After getting all his food he brings it to the cash register to ring it up. The cashier says "that'll be $49.95", The man hands him a $100 bill and the cashier asks "do you have anything smaller? We've been having a rash of counterfeit bills lately"; the man reaches in his pockets and hands him a $55 bill
A balding white haired man walks into a jewelry store with a beautiful much younger gal at his side...
He
told the jeweler he was looking for a special ring for his girlfriend.
The jeweler looked through his stock and brought out a $5,000 ring.
The man said, 'No, I'd like to see something more special.'
At that statement, the jeweler went to his special stock and brought
another ring over. 'Here's a stunning ring at only $40,000the jeweler said.
The lady's eyes sparkled and her whole body trembled with excitement.
The old man seeing this said, 'We'll take it.'
The jeweler asked how payment would be made and the man stated,
'By check. I know you need to make sure my check is good, so I'll write it now
and you can call the bank Monday to verify the funds; I'll pick the ring up Monday afternoon.'
On Monday morning, the jeweler angrily phoned the old man and said
'Sir...There's no money in that account.
''I know,' said the old man...'But let me tell you about my weekend.'
Women are like hand grenades
If you take off the ring you lose your house and half your belongings
My wife is so sweet
Every time she goes to a bar alone she gives me her wedding ring so I can think about her all night long.
[OC] Why did Pavlov ring a bell every time a breeze entered his room?
Air Conditioning
Today I was approached by Beyonce
Today I was approached by Beyonce who had just finished setting up at the studio. She said to me, "Excuse me hon. You haven't seen my phone have you? It's pink with a 'Bubblicious' cover on it."
I said, "No, sorry. Have you tried calling it?"
She said, "No. I put it on silent."
I said, "If you liked it then you should have put a ring on it."
My mom just took away my mood ring.
I don't know how I feel about it.
So a man dies and goes to heaven...
When he got there, he approached St. Peter at the pearly gates.
St. Peter asked "What, in your opinion, was your most noble deed?"
"Uh, well, I saw some huge bikers harassing an old lady outside a bar once, so I went up to the biggest, baddest guy and ripped out his nose ring."
Impressed, St. Peter asked, "Well, when was all this?"
"Uh, about 5 minutes ago."
My wife's birthday is in two days, and she told me "Nothing would make me happier than a diamond ring".
So I bought her nothing.
Somebody stole my mood ring...
...I don't know how I feel about that.
Just got a diamond ring for my girlfriend
Fair trade if you ask me
Why did the "Ringling Bros." Circus finally go out of business?
They couldn't compete with the circus in Washington DC any longer.
A cop is walking down the street and notices
A cop is walking down the street and notices a young blonde woman down on her knees under a streetlight. Can I help you? he asked.
The blonde woman replied, I dropped my diamond ring and I'm looking for it.
The cop asked, Did you drop it right here?
No, responded the blonde, I dropped it about a block away, but the light's better here.
A farmer's 3 daughters are going on a date
A farmer is concerned that all 3 of his daughters are going on a date tonight. He decided he'll greet each man who shows up tonight with his shotgun in hand.
The first man to ring the doorbell greets the farmer with, "Hi, my names Joe.
I'm here for Flo.
We're going to see the show.
Is she ready to go?"
The farmer likes this fellow and sends Joe and Flo off.
The second man to show up says,
"Hello, I'm Eddy.
I'm looking for Betty.
We're gonna go eat some spaghetti.
Is she ready?"
The farmer decides this guys okay too so off they go.
The third man rings the doorbell says,
"Hey, my name's Chuck."
And the farmer shot him.
How can you tell if a man hasn't gotten laid in a while?
He's wearing a wedding ring.
My girlfriends birthday is in a week and she said "Nothing would make me happier than a diamond ring!"
So I got her nothing
Watching my wedding video in reverse brought tears to my eyes
I took off her wedding ring, returned her to her dad, and moonwalked my way out of the church.
I bought my wife a beautiful diamond ring for her birthday.
A friend of mine said, I thought she wanted one of those pretty 4-wheel drive vehicles?
She did, I replied, But where in the world was I going to find a fake jeep!
Why did the hobbit set his cell phone to vibrate?
He was afraid the ring would give him away.
I watched the video of my wedding backwards.
I almost cried when I took the ring back, gave her back to her father, moonwalked out of the church, and went away, free.
Wow: I made it to front page! Thanks guys!
Students are smart
Chemistry Professor: Now, class, here I have a beaker of H2SO4, and here I have a gold ring. Suppose I drop the ring into the sulphuric acid. Will the gold dissolve?
Student: No
Professor: Good. And will you please tell us why not?
Student: If it would dissolve, you wouldn't put it in.
I've been reading 'Lord Of The Rings' and apparently, Gollum was once a normal man, but wearing the ring drained him of his youth, energy and any joy in life...
Must be the same ring I put on when I got married...
A man went into the doctors with both ears severely burned...
The doctor said 'Christ man, how did you manage that?!'
The man replied 'Well, I was doing the ironing when I suddenly heard the phone ring. I can't believe that I did this, but I accidentally pressed the iron to my ear instead of the phone!'
The doctor thought for a moment and said 'that explains one ear, but how did you burn the other one?'
The man replied 'Well, I burned that one trying to call an ambulance!'
My boyfriend bought me a diamond ring
The stone was cut in the shape of a four leaf clover. I wore it every day.
I got curious and had it valued at a jeweller's. Unfortunately my boyfriend had been swindled, as the diamond was actually a cubic zirconia.
It was a sham rock.
My girlfriend kept insisting that I give her a ring...
It took a while to get comfortable with the idea \(it was a really big decision for me\), but finally I got enough courage to dial the number and have an actual telephone conversation with her.
If a ring for a toe is a toe ring...
Then shouldn't a ring for a finger be a *f**...*
My girlfriend is mad because I keep getting free drinks around town by saying I'm engaged
She said "Why is it that every time you say your engaged people congratulate you and buy you a drink, but when I say it they charge me double?"
I told her that when she says it they expect to see a ring but when I say it they expect to see an empty wallet
What does a wife and a hand grenade have in common?
Remove the ring and your house is gone
I bought my wife a mood ring.
Found out if she's in a good mood it turns green.
If she's in a bad mood it leaves big red circles on my forehead.
If I had a dollar for every gender there was...
...I would have 2 dollars and run a counterfeit money smuggling ring.
I had to really consider my boyfriend's proposal before giving an answer.
On one hand, I'd get a really nice ring.
On the other hand, I wouldn't.
So I asked my girlfriend what she would want for her birthday next week
She said: "Well, I dreamt of a golden ring with lots of small diamonds."
I asked her: "What do you think it means?"
She smiled and said: "I don't know..."
Flash forward to her birthday, with all our family members at the table, I gave her my present.
I still don't know why she didn't like this book called 'Dreams and their Meanings'.
My boss walks over to my desk as the phone is ringing…
Boss: Why aren't you picking that up??
Me: I pick it up on the third ring, makes me seem cooler.
Boss: PICK IT UP!!
Me: [rolls eyes] fine. 911, what's your emergency?
Today I gave a homeless man everything I had, my identity, wallet, car, house, even my wedding ring. We basically switched places.
You can't imagine how good it felt to be free of debt for the first time.
What do a ring, a baby, and a t**... have in common?
None of them are going to save your relationship.
Have you heard about the man who goes around knocking on doors?
"Doesn't ring a bell"
"That's him!"
*Phone rings at work*
Boss: Why don't you answer it?
Me: I'll let it ring for a while. That way they'll think I have other stuff to do than talk on the phone.
Boss: ANSWER IT g**...!
Me: 911, what's the emergency?
My boyfriend bought me a diamond ring The stone was cut in the shape of a four leaf clover. I wore it all the time to show how much it meant to me.
One day, I got curious and had it valued at a jeweller's. Unfortunately they told me that my boyfriend had been swindled, as the diamond was actually a cubic zirconia.
It was a sham rock.
Why is there a ring of salt around the rim of a margarita glass?
To keep the spirits from escaping.
Bought my wife a beautiful big diamond ring.
She asked, "Why didn't you buy me a new car ?"
I told her, "They don't make fake cars."
My wife uses fabric softener. I never knew what that stuff was for. Then I noticed women coming up to me, sniffing, then saying under their breath,
"Married!" and walking away. Fabric Softeners are how our wives mark their territory. We can take off the ring, but it's hard to get that April fresh scent out of your clothes.
Quasimodo is about to ring the bell for 3pm when the rope snaps.
He knows he has to ring it but doesn't know how. Then he has an idea. He takes a big run up and uses his face to ring it. Bloodied and cut he does it again. Battered and bruised he does it one more time, but the bell swings back and knocks him off the tower down to the floor below.
Lying dead in a b**... heap, he's surrounded by towns people. o**... says "who's that?"
His pal said "I don't know, but his face rings a bell."
Woman about to step into bath hears a ring at the door.
"Who is it?" she shouts.
"Blind man", comes the answer.
Assured that her modesty will not be compromised, she opens the door n**....
The man at the door says, "Nice t**... lady, now where do you want these blinds."
