Ring Jokes
150 ring jokes and hilarious ring puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about ring that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
Are you looking for funny jokes about rings? Look no further! This article includes jokes about every kind of ring imaginable - from Elden Rings to engagement rings, nose rings to mood rings, even a doorbell joke! This collection of wry humor is sure to delight and entertain jewelry and bracelet fans alike.
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Funniest Ring Short Jokes
Short ring jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The ring humour may include short ribbon jokes also.
- If any of you here are thinking of getting married, consider the following before you do. On the one hand, you get to wear a pretty cool ring.
On the other hand, you don't. - My wife woke up just now. She is dreaming and muttering about how she wrote the lord of the rings trilogy. She's Tolkien in her sleep.
- I'm not saying it's a mistake letting my girlfriend control the thermostat... But two Hobbits just showed up and threw a ring into our bedroom.
- Wife asks: Why are you watching our wedding video backwards? — I like the part when I take the ring off your finger, leave church and go to the bar with friends.
- Last night I dreamed I was the author of The Lord of the Rings. I've been Tolkien in my sleep.
- I'm beginning to suspect that the Tinnitus Hotline isn't actually staffed Any time I call, it just keeps ringing.
- Pavlov is sitting at a bar... ...when another patron walks in and a bell on the door rings. Pavlov stands up, says, "I forgot to feed the dogs," and leaves.
- My uncle runs a clinic inside a hotel in Spain He come out late at night to ring people's doorbells.
Because nobody suspects The Spanish Inn Physician - What does a wife and a hand grenade have in common? Remove the ring and your house is gone
- So, my girlfriend won't let me wear my mood ring anymore... ...I'm not really sure how I feel about it
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Ring One Liners
Which ring one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with ring? I can suggest the ones about round and cord.
- I called the tinnitus hotline but it just kept ringing :/
- So I lost my mood ring yesterday... I'm not sure how I feel about that.
- A wife is like a hand grenade... Take off the ring and say good bye to your house.
- Sauron is a great name It has a nice ring to it
- How are a grenade and a wife similar? If you pull the ring off it, the house is gone
- i really like the name saturn it has a nice ring to it
- A wife is like a hand grenade you take away the ring, and there goes your house
- What do you call a ring of iron atoms? A ferrous wheel.
- My mom just took away my mood ring. I don't know how I feel about it.
- What does Rihanna and onion Rings have in common? They're both battered.
- Just got a diamond ring for my girlfriend Fair trade if you ask me
- Why did the Hobbit put his phone on silent? Because he was bored of the rings!
- What's the leading cause of obesity in women? Wedding rings
- [OC] Why did Pavlov ring a bell every time a breeze entered his room? Air Conditioning
- What do you get when Gandalf and Bilbo are your network engineers? A Tolkien Ring Network
Ring Doorbell Jokes
Here is a list of funny ring doorbell jokes and even better ring doorbell puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- Every time my doorbell rings my dog stands in the corner He's a boxer
- The doorbell rings and the son walks to open the door. - Who is it?
- It's the landlord, I'm here to collect rent.
- Mom! It's the landlord. Do you have money or should I go play outside again? - Amazon is Suing FromSoftware. Elden Ring will have to change its name to Elden Doorbell
- Pavlov sits in his house on a Saturday afternoon, drinking his tea. When someone rings the doorbell.
He stands up quickly.
"I have to feed the dog!" - My dog and I both freak out whenever the doorbell rings but we run in opposite directions.
- What's the similarity between Santa Claus and your doorbell ringing at 3am? It's your dad.
- A nutritionist throws a party A few minutes in, the doorbell rings. One guest walks up to the door and says,"It's Thomas from work!"
"Well," replied the nutritionist, "In-vitamin." - How do you know when you need a doorbell repaired? Ring rong.
- I always forget that holiday that comes at the end of October. Then the doorbell rings... Witch reminds me.
- The doorbell rings... A man opens the door and there's his mother-in-law on the front step.
She asks, "Can I stay here for a few days?"
The man says, "Sure you can." And shuts the door.
Lord Of The Ring Jokes
Here is a list of funny lord of the ring jokes and even better lord of the ring puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- How to anger Lord of the Rings fans? When you're watching The Two Towers and the ents are marching, shout "RUN, FOREST! RUN!"
- Ringwraiths My daughter watching Lord of the rings:
D: So the hobbits call the nazgul the black riders right?
Me: yeah
D: the nazgul are like: 'yo, that's wraithist'
Cue facepalm. - Did you hear? Copies of The Lord of the Rings, The Hobbit, and The Silmarillion are considered one-of-a-kind when sold and traded. They're Non-Fungible Tolkiens.
- If Charles Dickens wrote The Lord of the Rings, how would the novel have started? It was the best of Shires. It was the Worcestershires.
- What's the title of audi CEO? Lord of the Rings.
- I bought myself a 6 ft boomerang with Lord of the Rings characters on it. It's really hard to Frodo
- Which Lord of the Rings character was upset because he had no toys to play with? Legoless.
- Lord of the Rings is symbolic of Marriage One ring rules your life, it slowly destroys you, and sometimes, death seems easier than continuing on.
- What is Saturn's favorite movie? Lord of the Rings.
- I don't get how people have problems with diversity in Lord of the Rings Legolas has been an arrow ace the whole time.
Ring Finger Jokes
Here is a list of funny ring finger jokes and even better ring finger puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- I lost a good friend and long time drinking buddy a few days ago in a tragic accident he got his finger caught in a wedding ring
- What has a ring but no fingers? The former owner of a Note 7
- My friend had a tragic accident. He got his finger stuck in a wedding ring.
- Wearing Your Wedding! A: Aren't you wearing your wedding ring on the wrong finger?
B: Yes I am, I married the wrong woman. - Sadly, my best friend of many years lost his life earlier today. He got his finger caught in a wedding ring.
- "Why do you always wear your wedding ring on the wrong finger?" "Because I married the wrong woman."
- My friend asked what me what I hated the most on a beautiful girl. Me: The ring on her finger.
My friend: What's next?
Me: The ring on my finger... - A wedding ring is a lot like The One Ring Once it's on your finger none of your friends ever see you again
- Putting a ring on a woman's finger... is like pulling the ripcord on an inflatable raft.
- Some people tell me the index finger is the wrong one for a wedding ring... I tell them I'm married to the wrong woman
Engagement Ring Jokes
Here is a list of funny engagement ring jokes and even better engagement ring puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- Did you know there are 3 rings in a relationship? The engagement ring, the wedding ring and the suffer ring
- My dog swallowed my engagement ring last night, but luckily coughed it out when he barked. There was a diamond in the ruff.
- If I worked in a restaurant.... on Valentines Day I'd put a fake engagement ring in every girl's drink.
- I asked my partner what sort of engagement ring she'd like. "One that's a bit like you," she said.
"Full of sparkle?"
"Cheap and round," she replied. - I read that if you're unsure about how much to spend on an engagement ring, a monthly pay check is a good guideline. So I spent £200 and gave most of the ring to our landlord.
- The four rings of marriage. The Engagement ring, the Wedding ring, Enduring and, Suffering.
- Is he cheap? He'd marry a thin girl because she could wear a smaller sized engagement ring.
Source: 1913 newspaper - There were three rings in OJ Simpson's marriage. First, they had the engagement ring. After that, they had the wedding ring. And finally, there was the murdering.
- Customer told me this yesterday... First comes the engagement ring...followed by the marriage ring...but no one ever told me what came after that. The suffering.
- There are 3 types of rings common to the millennial marriage. The engagement ring, the wedding ring, and tindering.
Hilarious Ring Jokes to Make Your Friends Roar with Laughter
What funny jokes about ring you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean rack jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make ring pranks.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A monastery's bell ringer died and the monks put an ad in the paper for a new one.
The next day a man comes to the door to apply and he has no arms. The head monk says:
"Sir, how can you ring our bell if you have no arms?"
The applicant replied, "Just give me a chance, take me to the bell tower and I'll show you."
The all get to the bell tower and ask him to show them how he plans to do it. The applicant gets a running start and slams his face into the bell "RINNNNNNGGGGGGGG"
Before anyone could stop him, he backs up and runs s**... into the bell again and falls to the ground dead.
The head monk spoke up, "Did anyone catch his name?"
Another monk said, "No, but his face sure rings a bell."
An elderly woman decides she wants a husband...
An elderly woman decides its time she starts looking for husband, so she puts out and ad in the local news paper stating:
LOOKING FOR A HUSBAND HE MUST:
•not beat me
•not leave me
•be good in bed
So with these simple requirements she waits a few days with no response, but then one morning she hers her doorbell ring and goes to answer it. Standing at the door is a man with no arms and no legs. She asks him, "Are you here about the ad?" he replied, "Yes, I meet all the requirements see, I have no arms therefor I cannot beat you, and I have no legs therefor I cannot leave you." she asks, "well are you good in bed?" the man responds, "I rang the doorbell didn't I?"
My mother told me this one...
One day a lonely woman decided to call the dating service. They asked her what she wanted in a man. She replied "I want a man who won't hit me, I want a man who won't leave me, and I want a great lover!" They said ok he will be there in one hour. So the woman gets ready for her date, and an hour later she hears the doorbell ring. She goes to the door but no one is there. When all of a sudden she hears "down here!". She looks down and sees a man with no arms and no legs lying on the doormat. She asks "can i help you?" He says "I am from the dating service." But she does not believe him. He sees this and says "just tell me what you want in a man. She says "I want a man who won't hit me". "Lady I ain't got any arms". "I want a man who wont leave me". "Lady I ain't got no legs". "And I want a great lover" she says. To which he replies "lady, how do you think I rang the doorbell?"
What did the watch say when the necklace, earrings, purse and ring killed the shoes?
I won't be an accessory to this.
I was mugged today...
I was mugged in an alley today, all they took was my mood ring. I'm not sure how I feel about that.
Bellboy
Once there was a church that had a bell that no one could ring. One day, a boy came and asked the priest if he could try. So the boy went up into the tower and ran straight into the bell, face-first. The bell tolled loud and clear. The shocked priest gave him the job. But one Sunday, he ran straight toward the bell with his face and missed and fell off the tower and died.
"Congregation," the priest said before the assembled masses. "Does anybody know this boy's name? Because I don't know him, but his face rings a bell."
A man looking for work
A man was looking for work. In fact, he was desperate. He heard the circus was in town and so he went and asked the ring master if there was a job for him. The ring master said, "We're lucky you showed up! Our tiger just died and he was a big part of the show. What we need you to do is put on this tiger costume and pretend to be a real tiger. Nobody will know the difference." So the man put on the tiger costume, and he had to admit, it was a very realistic costume. Soon the show started, and the time came for the tiger act. The man, eager to do a good job, lept out into the ring, snarling just like a real tiger. The crowd cheered. He did all the things the tiger was supposed to do: let the trainer stick his head in his mouth, balanced on a ball, and finally walked across a tightrope. The crowd loved it. But then a lion and a bear entered the ring. The ring master announced, "Now you will see these three ferocious beasts enter one cage together!" The man had no choice as he was herded into the cage with the lion and the bear. The two animals roared and snarled, and the man became afraid for his life. He began running around the cage, shouting, "Let me out! I'm not a real tiger! Help!" Then the lion grabbed him and said, "Shut up! Do you want us all to lose our jobs?"
A young bride and groom to be
A young bride and groom to be had just selected their wedding rings. As the young lady admired the plain platinum and diamond band she had chosen for herself, she suddenly looked concerned. "Tell me" she asked the rather elderly salesman "is there anything special I'll have to do to take care of this ring?" With a fatherly smile, the salesman said "One of the best ways to protect a wedding ring is to soak it in dishwater three times a day.
My wife wasn't happy.
True story: I was at the store with my son and my wife. I have a habit of flipping my wedding ring in the air like a coin and catching it. My son saw me do it and tried to grab it in mid air, causing it to fall to the ground. He scrambled to get it and I said, "Son, hand me that! It's expensive!"
My son asked me, "how much did it cost, dad?"
I replied, "my life."
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Hi, how much for this t**... device?
Sir, that's a wedding ring.
A man is sitting at the doctor's office
As he is doing this, he playfully rotates the wedding ring on his finger. An older gentleman across from him beckons and whispers "Son, there ain't no combination that's gonna unlock that thing".
An infinite number of mathematicians walk into a bar
First asks for a beer, second asks for half a beer, third asks for a quarter of a beer...
Barmen says "Got it, no need to continue" and proceeds to ring up two beers.
A man walks into a grocery store
After getting all his food he brings it to the cash register to ring it up. The cashier says "that'll be $49.95", The man hands him a $100 bill and the cashier asks "do you have anything smaller? We've been having a rash of counterfeit bills lately"; the man reaches in his pockets and hands him a $55 bill
Do you know why astronomers named the planet "Saturn?"
It just had a nice ring to it.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A wife is like a hand grenade...
remove the ring and your house is gone!
A balding white haired man walks into a jewelry store with a beautiful much younger gal at his side...
He
told the jeweler he was looking for a special ring for his girlfriend.
The jeweler looked through his stock and brought out a $5,000 ring.
The man said, 'No, I'd like to see something more special.'
At that statement, the jeweler went to his special stock and brought
another ring over. 'Here's a stunning ring at only $40,000the jeweler said.
The lady's eyes sparkled and her whole body trembled with excitement.
The old man seeing this said, 'We'll take it.'
The jeweler asked how payment would be made and the man stated,
'By check. I know you need to make sure my check is good, so I'll write it now
and you can call the bank Monday to verify the funds; I'll pick the ring up Monday afternoon.'
On Monday morning, the jeweler angrily phoned the old man and said
'Sir...There's no money in that account.
''I know,' said the old man...'But let me tell you about my weekend.'
My friend asked me how it felt to be able to say that i was married
I said that "It has a nice ring to it"
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Wives are like grenades...
Remove the ring and boom, house is gone!
My wife is so sweet
Every time she goes to a bar alone she gives me her wedding ring so I can think about her all night long.
Today I was approached by Beyonce
Today I was approached by Beyonce who had just finished setting up at the studio. She said to me, "Excuse me hon. You haven't seen my phone have you? It's pink with a 'Bubblicious' cover on it."
I said, "No, sorry. Have you tried calling it?"
She said, "No. I put it on silent."
I said, "If you liked it then you should have put a ring on it."
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
So a man dies and goes to heaven...
When he got there, he approached St. Peter at the pearly gates.
St. Peter asked "What, in your opinion, was your most noble deed?"
"Uh, well, I saw some huge bikers harassing an old lady outside a bar once, so I went up to the biggest, baddest guy and ripped out his nose ring."
Impressed, St. Peter asked, "Well, when was all this?"
"Uh, about 5 minutes ago."
Why did the "Ringling Bros." Circus finally go out of business?
They couldn't compete with the circus in Washington DC any longer.
A cop is walking down the street and notices
A cop is walking down the street and notices a young blonde woman down on her knees under a streetlight. Can I help you? he asked.
The blonde woman replied, I dropped my diamond ring and I'm looking for it.
The cop asked, Did you drop it right here?
No, responded the blonde, I dropped it about a block away, but the light's better here.
My neighbours named their child "Saturn".
That's not something I'd call my child, but it has got a ring to it.
Did you know condoms have a serial number at the very bottom of the ring?
I guess you never had to roll it down that far.
A farmer's 3 daughters are going on a date
A farmer is concerned that all 3 of his daughters are going on a date tonight. He decided he'll greet each man who shows up tonight with his shotgun in hand.
The first man to ring the doorbell greets the farmer with, "Hi, my names Joe.
I'm here for Flo.
We're going to see the show.
Is she ready to go?"
The farmer likes this fellow and sends Joe and Flo off.
The second man to show up says,
"Hello, I'm Eddy.
I'm looking for Betty.
We're gonna go eat some spaghetti.
Is she ready?"
The farmer decides this guys okay too so off they go.
The third man rings the doorbell says,
"Hey, my name's Chuck."
And the farmer shot him.
I'm not saying it's hot in my house...
...but a hobbit just threw a ring through the front door.
How can you tell if a man hasn't gotten laid in a while?
He's wearing a wedding ring.
My girlfriends birthday is in a week and she said "Nothing would make me happier than a diamond ring!"
So I got her nothing
I bought my wife a beautiful diamond ring for her birthday.
A friend of mine said, I thought she wanted one of those pretty 4-wheel drive vehicles?
She did, I replied, But where in the world was I going to find a fake jeep!
Why did the hobbit set his cell phone to vibrate?
He was afraid the ring would give him away.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
gay prostate exam joke
a gay man goes in to get a prostate exam.
he is told to bend over when the doctor starts to examine his prostate.
the man says to the doctor:
"please t**... ring, it's hurting me"
the doctor says:
"That's not my ring. that's my rolex!"
I watched the video of my wedding backwards.
I almost cried when I took the ring back, gave her back to her father, moonwalked out of the church, and went away, free.
Wow: I made it to front page! Thanks guys!
Students are smart
Chemistry Professor: Now, class, here I have a beaker of H2SO4, and here I have a gold ring. Suppose I drop the ring into the sulphuric acid. Will the gold dissolve?
Student: No
Professor: Good. And will you please tell us why not?
Student: If it would dissolve, you wouldn't put it in.
I've been reading 'Lord Of The Rings' and apparently, Gollum was once a normal man, but wearing the ring drained him of his youth, energy and any joy in life...
Must be the same ring I put on when I got married...
Too guys trying to escape a prison
Last fence they have to jump has bells on it. First guy jumps, touches the wires and the bells ring.
They guard says:- Who goes there?
The guy makes a noise:-Meow!
Guard says: -oh, its just a cat.
Second guy jumps, hits the wires, bells ring.
Guard says: -Who goes there?
Second guy:-Just another cat.
My boyfriend bought me a diamond ring
The stone was cut in the shape of a four leaf clover. I wore it every day.
I got curious and had it valued at a jeweller's. Unfortunately my boyfriend had been swindled, as the diamond was actually a cubic zirconia.
It was a sham rock.
My girlfriend kept insisting that I give her a ring...
It took a while to get comfortable with the idea \(it was a really big decision for me\), but finally I got enough courage to dial the number and have an actual telephone conversation with her.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
If a ring for a toe is a toe ring...
Then shouldn't a ring for a finger be a *f**...*
My girlfriend is mad because I keep getting free drinks around town by saying I'm engaged
She said "Why is it that every time you say your engaged people congratulate you and buy you a drink, but when I say it they charge me double?"
I told her that when she says it they expect to see a ring but when I say it they expect to see an empty wallet
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
I was at the supermarket, looked three freezers down and saw the most beautiful b**... blonde picking out Asian dinners. I took a quick glance at her hand and saw no wedding ring! Well, as you can imagine, I promptly did what any virile, red-blooded man would do with this opportunity...
I got really nervous, said absolutely nothing, and strictly avoided eye-contact at all costs...
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
If I had a dollar for every gender there was...
...I would have 2 dollars and run a counterfeit money smuggling ring.
I had to really consider my boyfriend's proposal before giving an answer.
On one hand, I'd get a really nice ring.
On the other hand, I wouldn't.
So I asked my girlfriend what she would want for her birthday next week
She said: "Well, I dreamt of a golden ring with lots of small diamonds."
I asked her: "What do you think it means?"
She smiled and said: "I don't know..."
Flash forward to her birthday, with all our family members at the table, I gave her my present.
I still don't know why she didn't like this book called 'Dreams and their Meanings'.
I just swallowed a mood ring.
Not quite sure how I feel about it...
What do you call a Hobbit who works in advertising?
Billboard Baggins
(From my son (9) who just finished Fellowship of the Ring and is well on his way to being a dad with jokes like this).
My boss walks over to my desk as the phone is ringing…
Boss: Why aren't you picking that up??
Me: I pick it up on the third ring, makes me seem cooler.
Boss: PICK IT UP!!
Me: [rolls eyes] fine. 911, what's your emergency?
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
I don't understand women...
One word out of place, just ONE word, and she's packing her b**... bags.
She asked me why I take my wedding ring off before s**.... I just shrugged and said "Habit".
Today I gave a homeless man everything I had, my identity, wallet, car, house, even my wedding ring. We basically switched places.
You can't imagine how good it felt to be free of debt for the first time.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
What do a ring, a baby, and a t**... have in common?
None of them are going to save your relationship.
Have you heard about the man who goes around knocking on doors?
"Doesn't ring a bell"
"That's him!"
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
*Phone rings at work*
Boss: Why don't you answer it?
Me: I'll let it ring for a while. That way they'll think I have other stuff to do than talk on the phone.
Boss: ANSWER IT g**...!
Me: 911, what's the emergency?
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Joke of the day
Teacher: "Billy if there are 5 birds sitting on a fence and you shoot 1, how many birds are left?"
Billy: "none the others flew away"
Teacher: "the awanser is 4 but I like the way you think"
Billy: "i have a question for you miss. There are 3 women eating ice cream. 1 l**..., 1 biting and 1 s**.... Which one is married?"
Teacher nervously awansers: the one s**...
Billy: the awanser is the one with the wedding ring, but I like the way you think
What did the rabbit use to propose to his girlfriend?
A 24-carrot ring
What's the similarity between a grenade and a wife?
You pull off the ring and then your house is gone
Why is there a ring of salt around the rim of a margarita glass?
To keep the spirits from escaping.
Bought my wife a beautiful big diamond ring.
She asked, "Why didn't you buy me a new car ?"
I told her, "They don't make fake cars."
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Quasimodo is about to ring the bell for 3pm when the rope snaps.
He knows he has to ring it but doesn't know how. Then he has an idea. He takes a big run up and uses his face to ring it. Bloodied and cut he does it again. Battered and bruised he does it one more time, but the bell swings back and knocks him off the tower down to the floor below.
Lying dead in a b**... heap, he's surrounded by towns people. o**... says "who's that?"
His pal said "I don't know, but his face rings a bell."
You know, I can't think of many guys who would walk all the way to a volcano to get rid of a ring.
But Elijah Wood.
why did arwen and aragorn choose frodo to be the ring bearer ?
Force of hobbit
