Like he's a Muslim or something.
Now there is a disabled guy in the White House and all they do is compalain about it.
*I hate myself for repeating this. But I heard this when I was living in Texas.*
Two rednecks are admiring their firearms. One says, I keep these around for hunting, home protection, and to defend my 2nd amendment rights. The second says, I just like shooting cans.
That's a lot of firepower just for shooting cans.
Well, there's so many of them: Mexi-cans, Afri-cans, Puerto Ri-cans...
He was the guy who said, "Get up, that's my seat."
They must be scared of the dark or something.
Apparently the book on women's rights doesn't belong in the fiction section.
I was starting to believe this crap, but thankfully, my wife came in and slapped me back to my senses. That's the last time I'm reading men's rights propaganda.
You'll never de-fetus.
Feminem.
God asks Bush: "What do you believe in?"
Bush answers: "I believe in the free market, and the strong American nation!"
"Very well," says God. "Come sit to my right."
Next, God asks Obama: "What do you believe in?"
Obama answers: "I believe in the power of democracy, and equal rights for all."
"Good, says God. "You shall sit to my left."
Finally, God asks Trump: "What do you believe in?"
Trump replies: "I believe you're sitting in my chair."
Just give valve the rights to 1 and 2.
a lady police officer was reading the miranda rights to the guy being arrested " what ever you say can be and will be held against you"
the guy says "tits"
However, he has no problem giving them a couple lefts
On one hand, I love killing babies, on the other I hate giving women rights.
I got kicked out of the library for putting the women's rights book in the fiction section
On one hand, i am for killing babies. But on the other hand, i don't want to give woman any more rights.
A man gets pulled over for drunk driving by a female police officer.
The female officer proceeds to inform him of his rights, "You have the right to remain silent. Anything you say can and will be held against you."
The man responds, "Boobs."
He told them: "Women from all the corners of the world should have equal rights to men."
Ironically he made the Earth round.
For a country with 4 dads, you would think they'd be more accepting.
Rights
Because women have no rights.
*Sorry of this is rude/offensive and if its a repost, I just wanted to share.*
Because everything I say can and will be used against me at a later date
God asks Bush: "What do you believe in?"
Bush answers: "I believe in the free market, and the strong American nation!"
"Very well", says God. "Come sit to my right."
Next, God asks Obama: "What do you believe in?"
Obama answers: "I believe in the power of democracy, and equal rights for all."
"Good", says God. "You shall sit to my left."
Finally, God asks Trump: "What do you believe in?"
Trump answers: "I believe you're sitting in my chair."
I moved all of the women's rights books to the fiction section.
And that guy's rights... And his pen...
That's because there are no rights.
a lady from Birmingham stood up and said,
"Ladies, last year I vowed to no longer cook for my husband. On the first day, I saw nothing. On the second day, I saw nothing. On the third day, my husband cooked a wonderful meal, and has continued to cook every night since."
She recieved a generous round of applause.
Another lady, from London, stood up next and said,
"Ladies, last year I vowed to no longer wash my husband's clothes. On the first day, I saw nothing. On the second day, I saw nothing. On the third day, my husband washed his clothes *and* mine, and has continued to do so every week since."
She, too, recieved a round of applause.
Finally a lady from Barry (my hometown) stood up to address the audience.
"Ladies, last year I vowed to no longer cook for my husband *or* wash his clothes. On the first day, I saw nothing. On the second day, I saw nothing. On the third day, I could see a little bit out of my left eye."
His reasoning was very straight-forward.
But that was before i screwed the pooch.
Rights free
Feminem
Your dad? Not your mum?
No, dad wouldn't allow that.
*Courtesy of u/hihellow*
Apparently the books about womens rights, do not belong at the fantasy department..
To get to her Women's Rights meeting
It does, however, give him exclusive drilling rights.
At the annual women's rights convention the speaker got up and said "last year we talked about making our husband's do more of the work often considered women's work, let's hear how that went."
First a lady from the USA got up and said "I told my husband I wasn't going to do any more cleaning until he helped. On the first day I didn't see anything, on the second day I didn't see anything, but on the third day he cleaned the whole house from top to bottom." Everyone cheered.
Next a lady from Britain stood up and said "I told my husband I wasn't doing laundry until he helped. On the first day I didn't see anything, on the second day I didn't see anything, but on the third day he not only did his laundry, but mine as well." More cheers.
Then a lady from Australia got up and said "I told my husband I wasn't going to do any more grocery shopping until he helped. On the first day I didn't see anything, on the second day I didn't see anything, but on the third day I could see a little bit out of my left eye"
That is that they both equally don't have any.
Upon arriving, God asks them respectively what they believe in.
Bush said he believes in American exceptionalism, the right to bear arms, and the free market.
God said alright, you can take this seat to my right.
Obama said he believes in everyone having Healthcare, equal rights for all, and sustainability.
God invited him to take the seat to His left.
Trump said "I believe you're in my seat"
...I reassured her that it had already been tested on animals.
He said they punched his rights out.
Even my local cafe is selling a Bi, Lesbian and Transgender sandwich.
I guess you could say their work is Pro-Bonobo.
It's a black and white issue.
Martin Loofah King
Just the other day I heard him talking about his transister.
The Bacchus Caucus
Protractor
Why do Beyonce sing "to the left to the left"???
Cause black people have no rights...
Im sorry
That way they will never make a third
He was rather affectionate at the end of his text messages.
Because you know... There are no women's rights there...
...is on the United Nations Human Rights Council.
On one hand I'm all for killing babies.
But on the other hand I don't support women's rights.
I won't beheading there anytime soon.
Squatters' rights.
Well, on one hand I love killing babies, but on the other I really hate women's rights.
Man: So what do you want?
Feminist: I want equal rights and liberties as men.
Man: I couldn't agree with you more... because if I did, you would have a problem with that.
Clones are People Two!
She calls herself a Phlegminist.
But i think it's kinda fucked up that they make sweaters out of turtles necks.
I'd have enough money to buy the rights for this joke.
Starts reading his rights ".. Anything you say can and will be used against you"
"Tits".
My mom wanted to be as well, but my dad wouldn't allow it.
The people there enjoyed all the rights of any of us, but the freedom of speech was not aloud
gay rights
Because they have been living under Iraq.
would they call him Bill of rights?
Take away her rights.
Human rights
Because they are manufactured in China and I can't support products that are offshoring labor to a country with numerous human rights violations. Not to mention, that's super gay.
On one hand I don't want to give women rights.
But on the other hand I love killing babies.
They're calling it the Mac-Arena.
Neither have they.
They didn't agree on a lot of things, but a big part of it was he didn't speak whale.
Note: In my defense I don't discriminate except by how I know a person. I have friends on all sides of the NFL hype, sexual rights hype, and abortion debate. But this joke gets laughs among them all.
A very attractive and well built young female cop pulled over a man on a suspected DUI.
After some initial questions she decided to arrest him and made him get out of the car.
"Sir you have the right to remain silent and anything you say will be held against you...."
She never got to finish because the drunk leered at her and said: "Titties!"
A chemenist!
Talcum X
"My imaginary friend"
"Oh what's their name?"
"Womens rights"
Yup I'm a Preferred Eater of Tasty Animals and all animals have a right to be served on my plate.
*Queue dark, stormy night*
"There comes a time when we must all step up for equality"
*Flash of civil rights marches, gay pride parades and protests in the middle east*
"A time when we cannot accept bigotry and hatred"
*Rain pours on multi-ethnic protesters linked arm in arm*
"A time to proclaim that an era of love and understanding is here"
*People celebrating good news outside the Supreme Court*
"Arm and Hammer Baking Soda, the choice of a new tomorrow"
Me: "Dad, it's really cold, don't you want to wear a coat?"
Dad: "I'm just exercising my second-ammendment rights."
Me: "........."
Dad: "My right to bare arms."
I'm passive progressive.
I love killing babies, but I hate the idea of giving women rights.
I thought the whole point was that they DIDN'T stand up??
I believe that if you wake up and catch someone trying the old hand in the water prank on you that you're within your rights to stand up and start pissing all over them. He said he was "refilling my glass", just "doing his job".. And that I was in his "section". Nice try pal. Better luck next time.
It's because I put the "women's rights" book under fiction.
she did not stand up for her rights
However, the poison didn't work. Should have tested it on animals.
A bowel movement
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