rights Jokes

funny jokes and hilarious rights stories

What are the best Rights puns and pranks?

Did you ever wanted to prank someone about Rights? Well here is a complete list of Rights dad jokes:

Liberals are acting like Trump is going to kill all the gays, make slavery legal again, and take away women's rights....

Like he's a Muslim or something.

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I heard a bunch of Chinese people chanting "We want rights! We want rights!"

They must be scared of the dark or something.

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Why is Beyonce always singing about going "To the left"?

Because women have no rights.

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What do you call a girl that raps about women rights?

Feminem.

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Miranda rights

a lady police officer was reading the miranda rights to the guy being arrested " what ever you say can be and will be held against you"

the guy says "tits"

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Ray Rice doesn't believe in giving women rights.

However, he has no problem giving them a couple lefts

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At the annual women's rights convention the speaker got up and said...

At the annual women's rights convention the speaker got up and said "last year we talked about making our husband's do more of the work often considered women's work, let's hear how that went."
First a lady from the USA got up and said "I told my husband I wasn't going to do any more cleaning until he helped. On the first day I didn't see anything, on the second day I didn't see anything, but on the third day he cleaned the whole house from top to bottom." Everyone cheered.
Next a lady from Britain stood up and said "I told my husband I wasn't doing laundry until he helped. On the first day I didn't see anything, on the second day I didn't see anything, but on the third day he not only did his laundry, but mine as well." More cheers.
Then a lady from Australia got up and said "I told my husband I wasn't going to do any more grocery shopping until he helped. On the first day I didn't see anything, on the second day I didn't see anything, but on the third day I could see a little bit out of my left eye"

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A man gets pulled over for drunk driving by a female police officer...

A man gets pulled over for drunk driving by a female police officer.

The female officer proceeds to inform him of his rights, "You have the right to remain silent. Anything you say can and will be held against you."

The man responds, "Boobs."

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I don't see why so many Americans are anti-gay rights.

For a country with 4 dads, you would think they'd be more accepting.

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Why does Beyonce sing "to the left, to the left"?

Because women have no rights.

*Sorry of this is rude/offensive and if its a repost, I just wanted to share.*

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If two wrongs don't make a right, what do two rights make?

An airplane.

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At the second annual UK women's rights meeting...

a lady from Birmingham stood up and said,

"Ladies, last year I vowed to no longer cook for my husband. On the first day, I saw nothing. On the second day, I saw nothing. On the third day, my husband cooked a wonderful meal, and has continued to cook every night since."

She recieved a generous round of applause.

Another lady, from London, stood up next and said,

"Ladies, last year I vowed to no longer wash my husband's clothes. On the first day, I saw nothing. On the second day, I saw nothing. On the third day, my husband washed his clothes *and* mine, and has continued to do so every week since."

She, too, recieved a round of applause.

Finally a lady from Barry (my hometown) stood up to address the audience.

"Ladies, last year I vowed to no longer cook for my husband *or* wash his clothes. On the first day, I saw nothing. On the second day, I saw nothing. On the third day, I could see a little bit out of my left eye."

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I heard people in jail can only turn left.

Because they lost all their rights.

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I used to be in an animal rights group...

But that was before i screwed the pooch.

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Apparently there's a voluntary organization trying to gain legal rights for apes.

I guess you could say their work is Pro-Bonobo.

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Will get downvoted like mad but Im drunk so I dont care (higly racist)

Why do Beyonce sing "to the left to the left"???

Cause black people have no rights...

Im sorry

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*knock knock*

"Who's there?"

"An interrupting southerner"

"An interrupti-"

"Actually it was about states' rights!"

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(re-post) Why does beyonce sing "to the left, to the left"

Because women have no rights.

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Why have all the immigrants left?

They had no rights.

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My Aunt is a firm believer that Mucous Membranes have rights.

She calls herself a Phlegminist.

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I'm not an animal rights activist or something...

But i think it's kinda fucked up that they make sweaters out of turtles necks.

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I got kicked out of the library

for putting a "Women's Rights" book in the the fiction section.

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what's a political campaign we can all get behind?

gay rights

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Why do British people drive on the left?

Because they have no rights.

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Why is Saudi Arabia so late to givng rights to women?

Because they have been living under Iraq.

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How many female rights activists does it take to change a lightbulb?

Doesn't matter, they'll never change anything

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How do you make a woman drive in a circle?

Take away her rights.

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How many mens' rights activists does out take to change a lightbulb?

Well, not all of them.

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Want to hear a dirty joke?

Women's rights covered in mud.

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Why does America have so many boasting Republicans?

Because it needs some bragging rights.

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A recent joke from eastern Ukraine

Two friends meet, both native Russian speakers – as is everyone in this region – but one speaks Russian, and the other insists on speaking Ukrainian.

Why are you speaking Ukrainian? asks one friend. Are you afraid Ukrainian nationalists will come and kill you?

No, comes the reply. I'm afraid if Putin hears me speaking Russian, he will come to 'protect' my rights!

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I heard Frankie Muniz is going to be playing a 1960's civil rights leader, in the upcoming film...

'Malcolm X in the Middle'.

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What do you call a Mexican supremacist organization against civil rights?

The Que Que Que.

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Ricky Gervais has sold the rights to do an 'adult' adaptation of 'The Office' to Vivid Picture.

It will be called 'The Orifice'.

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Best Joke of all Time

Civil Rights Act of 1866

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Why does BeyoncΓ© say "to the left, to the left"?

Because black people have no rights.

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What do you call an alien civil rights activist?

Martian Luther King jr.

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Wanna know why China has 5 stars in their country flag?

It's how much they rated themselves for the human rights violations

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The joke my grandpa told me when i was a kid.

Women's rights.

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Wanna hear a joke?

Women's rights

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This is very offensive. Please do not open if you get offended very easily.

Girl: Girls have boobs and ass wtf do guys have.

Guy: Rights

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Gays do have the same rights as heteros.

Heteros can't marry people of their own sex as well.

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Why do animal rights activists hate NASA?

Because curiosity killed the cat.

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Women's Rights

here come the feminists

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Why are black people always wrong?

They have no rights.

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The paraplegic would be easy to oppress

They would never make a stand for their rights

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Women's Rights...

...

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I support gay rights

and gay lefts. Nobody should be persecuted for their political beliefs.

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Woman's pant pockets are like their rights.

There, but only for show.

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This is a good one.

Civil Rights

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CONCLUSION

You've red some of the best rights jokes of all time. We hope you had fun with this collection of 50 puns about rights. Most of the stories are suitable for kids with good sense of humor, children or teens boys and girls, of course dads. You must supervise your chidlren not to read pranks for adults. Note that some jokes are disgusting, filled with black humor so don't tell dirty rights gags to your kids. So please respect and be a good joking daddy !

How do I make my girlfriend or boyfriend laugh? How do you make someone laugh? Well, this list of funny stories will make you cry in laughter just like dad jokes. Some of these rights jokes are funny and some are hilarious. With this collection it's easy to be a joker. Have fun and dig deeper into our archive.

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