Following is our collection of slavery humor and rightful one-liner funnies working better than reddit jokes. They include Rights puns for adults, dirty royalties jokes or clean righ gags for kids.
There is an abundance of amendment jokes out there. You're fortunate to read a set of the 89 funniest jokes on rights. Full with funny wisecracks it is even funnier than any ownership witze you can hear about rights.
Like he's a Muslim or something.
Now there is a disabled guy in the White House and all they do is compalain about it.
*I hate myself for repeating this. But I heard this when I was living in Texas.*
Two rednecks are admiring their firearms. One says, I keep these around for hunting, home protection, and to defend my 2nd amendment rights. The second says, I just like shooting cans.
That's a lot of firepower just for shooting cans.
Well, there's so many of them: Mexi-cans, Afri-cans, Puerto Ri-cans...
He was the guy who said, "Get up, that's my seat."
They must be scared of the dark or something.
Apparently the book on women's rights doesn't belong in the fiction section.
You'll never de-fetus.
Feminem.
God asks Bush: "What do you believe in?"
Bush answers: "I believe in the free market, and the strong American nation!"
"Very well," says God. "Come sit to my right."
Next, God asks Obama: "What do you believe in?"
Obama answers: "I believe in the power of democracy, and equal rights for all."
"Good, says God. "You shall sit to my left."
Finally, God asks Trump: "What do you believe in?"
Trump replies: "I believe you're sitting in my chair."
Just give valve the rights to 1 and 2.
However, he has no problem giving them a couple lefts
On one hand, I love killing babies, on the other I hate giving women rights.
I got kicked out of the library for putting the women's rights book in the fiction section
On one hand, i am for killing babies. But on the other hand, i don't want to give woman any more rights.
He told them: "Women from all the corners of the world should have equal rights to men."
Ironically he made the Earth round.
For a country with 4 dads, you would think they'd be more accepting.
Rights
And ask to speak to the man in charge.
Because women have no rights.
*Sorry of this is rude/offensive and if its a repost, I just wanted to share.*
Because everything I say can and will be used against me at a later date
I moved all of the women's rights books to the fiction section.
And that guy's rights... And his pen...
That's because there are no rights.
a lady from Birmingham stood up and said,
"Ladies, last year I vowed to no longer cook for my husband. On the first day, I saw nothing. On the second day, I saw nothing. On the third day, my husband cooked a wonderful meal, and has continued to cook every night since."
She recieved a generous round of applause.
Another lady, from London, stood up next and said,
"Ladies, last year I vowed to no longer wash my husband's clothes. On the first day, I saw nothing. On the second day, I saw nothing. On the third day, my husband washed his clothes *and* mine, and has continued to do so every week since."
She, too, recieved a round of applause.
Finally a lady from Barry (my hometown) stood up to address the audience.
"Ladies, last year I vowed to no longer cook for my husband *or* wash his clothes. On the first day, I saw nothing. On the second day, I saw nothing. On the third day, I could see a little bit out of my left eye."
His reasoning was very straight-forward.
But that was before i screwed the pooch.
Rights free
Your dad? Not your mum?
No, dad wouldn't allow that.
*Courtesy of u/hihellow*
Apparently the books about womens rights, do not belong at the fantasy department..
It does, however, give him exclusive drilling rights.
To get to her Women's Rights meeting
"You can't force me in a bunker, I am an American, I have rights"
At the annual women's rights convention the speaker got up and said "last year we talked about making our husband's do more of the work often considered women's work, let's hear how that went."
First a lady from the USA got up and said "I told my husband I wasn't going to do any more cleaning until he helped. On the first day I didn't see anything, on the second day I didn't see anything, but on the third day he cleaned the whole house from top to bottom." Everyone cheered.
Next a lady from Britain stood up and said "I told my husband I wasn't doing laundry until he helped. On the first day I didn't see anything, on the second day I didn't see anything, but on the third day he not only did his laundry, but mine as well." More cheers.
Then a lady from Australia got up and said "I told my husband I wasn't going to do any more grocery shopping until he helped. On the first day I didn't see anything, on the second day I didn't see anything, but on the third day I could see a little bit out of my left eye"
Upon arriving, God asks them respectively what they believe in.
Bush said he believes in American exceptionalism, the right to bear arms, and the free market.
God said alright, you can take this seat to my right.
Obama said he believes in everyone having Healthcare, equal rights for all, and sustainability.
God invited him to take the seat to His left.
Trump said "I believe you're in my seat"
That is that they both equally don't have any.
a left.
...I reassured her that it had already been tested on animals.
He said they punched his rights out.
Even my local cafe is selling a Bi, Lesbian and Transgender sandwich.
It's a black and white issue.
Just the other day I heard him talking about his transister.
I guess you could say their work is Pro-Bonobo.
The Bacchus Caucus
Martin Loofah King
Protractor
Why do Beyonce sing "to the left to the left"???
Cause black people have no rights...
Im sorry
Because they have no rights.
That way they will never make a third
He was rather affectionate at the end of his text messages.
Because you know... There are no women's rights there...
On one hand I'm all for killing babies.
But on the other hand I don't support women's rights.
...is on the United Nations Human Rights Council.
I won't beheading there anytime soon.
Squatters' rights.
Well, on one hand I love killing babies, but on the other I really hate women's rights.
Clones are People Two!
She calls herself a Phlegminist.
I'd have enough money to buy the rights for this joke.
Man: So what do you want?
Feminist: I want equal rights and liberties as men.
Man: I couldn't agree with you more... because if I did, you would have a problem with that.
My mom wanted to be as well, but my dad wouldn't allow it.
gay rights
The people there enjoyed all the rights of any of us, but the freedom of speech was not aloud
All I said was that sometimes it feels like you're beating a dead horse when you try to get people to donate
Because they have been living under Iraq.
would they call him Bill of rights?
Take away her rights.
On one hand I don't want to give women rights.
But on the other hand I love killing babies.
Human rights
Because they are manufactured in China and I can't support products that are offshoring labor to a country with numerous human rights violations. Not to mention, that's super gay.
They're calling it the Mac-Arena.
I love killing babies, but I hate the idea of giving women rights.
A chemenist!
They get habeas corpus.
Neither have they.
Me: "Dad, it's really cold, don't you want to wear a coat?"
Dad: "I'm just exercising my second-ammendment rights."
Me: "........."
Dad: "My right to bare arms."
Talcum X
I thought the whole point was that they DIDN'T stand up??
Yup I'm a Preferred Eater of Tasty Animals and all animals have a right to be served on my plate.
I'm passive progressive.
"My imaginary friend"
"Oh what's their name?"
"Womens rights"
*Queue dark, stormy night*
"There comes a time when we must all step up for equality"
*Flash of civil rights marches, gay pride parades and protests in the middle east*
"A time when we cannot accept bigotry and hatred"
*Rain pours on multi-ethnic protesters linked arm in arm*
"A time to proclaim that an era of love and understanding is here"
*People celebrating good news outside the Supreme Court*
"Arm and Hammer Baking Soda, the choice of a new tomorrow"
Doug got first with a great piece about racial tensions in America.
Anna got second with a touching monologue about women's rights.
I got third by smashing an urn.
They didn't agree on a lot of things, but a big part of it was he didn't speak whale.
Note: In my defense I don't discriminate except by how I know a person. I have friends on all sides of the NFL hype, sexual rights hype, and abortion debate. But this joke gets laughs among them all.
The NR, eh?
she did not stand up for her rights
A bowel movement
The Que Que Que.
However, the poison didn't work. Should have tested it on animals.
Because they're all about their rights
Use only working piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Note that dirty and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. You can seriously offend people by saying creepy dark humor words to them.