Right Wing Jokes
44 right wing jokes and hilarious right wing puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about right wing that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
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Funniest Right Wing Short Jokes
Short right wing jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The right wing humour may include short left wing jokes also.
- A plane carrying Donald Trump made an emergency landing in New Orleans after alleged engine failure over the Gulf of Mexico. Turns out there was just a loud whine coming from the right wing.
- What's the difference between the USA and a bird? On a bird, the left wing and the right wing work together to benefit the whole bird.
- American politics is like a penguin. It has both a left wing and a right wing. But are only good for flapping and making noises.
- I guess politicians are just a bunch of chickens. Ya got the right wing and the left wing.
- I was considering telling a vaccine joke to a right wing coworker of mine but didn't because he probably wouldn't get it anyways.
- The cable news networks tend to cater to different groups Fox News is for right wings, MSNBC is for left wings, and CNN is for plane wings.
- Why do late night comedians skew left wing? Because the right wing viewers have to work in the morning.
- My right-wing sister accused me of getting indoctrinated by my college professors for my left-wing ideologies. I tell her "You're just jealous because I actually *finished* college."
- Why did the mad scientist stitch the three left-wing politicians together? He was trying to make a right-wing one.
- Left wing or Right wing, it doesn't really matter. If either is harmed the plane will c**....
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Right Wing One Liners
Which right wing one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with right wing? I can suggest the ones about left leaning and conservative.
- My dad is so right wing... he won't even have leftovers!
-I'll let myself out. - How do you starve a right wing christian? Hide their money in their bible.
- What part of a hospital does an abortion patient avoid? The right wing
- Why do right wing extremists hate winter? Because of all the snowflakes
- What do you call the Hulk but he's super far right wing? Bruce Bannon
- Which weather type is the most right winged? Hitlers Reign
- What is a far right-wing conservatives favorite candy? Preppermints.
- Their are two sides to a political argument. Right wing and wrong wing.
- They say parrots don't like change... So you could that they are very right-winged.
- Do you know who is the best german right wing? h**....
- What did the leftist mummy say to the right-wing ghost? **YOU'RE A NOT-SEE!!!**
Humorous Right Wing Jokes to Bring Fun and Laughter to Your Life
What funny jokes about right wing you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean extremist jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make right wing pranks.
A plane was once flying over an island..
A plane was once flying over an island when the passengers heard the pilot's voice:
Ladies & Gentlemen, if you look on the right side of the plane, you'll see an engine on fire. If you look on the left side, you'll see a wing on fire. And if you look down, you'll see me and my co-pilot in parachutes, waving at you. This is a recording.
An offensive joke
A quarterback, a running back, a fullback, a wide receiver, a tight end, a left tackle, a left guard, a center, a right tackle, a right guard, a striker, an attacking midfielder, a left wing skater, a center, a right wing skater, a point guard, a shooting guard, a small forward and a designated hitter all walk into a bar
A man and his suicidal horse walk into a bar
The man says to the bartender, "Bartender! Get me the best wings you have and make it quick as I am quite hungry right now."
With his eyes lit up, the horse turns to his owner and asks, "How hungry?"
A right-wing law firm is trying to overturn Roe v Wade.
They find their test plaintiff, a man whose daughter had gotten an abortion after he forbade it. The firm sues the doctors, and the appeals go all the way to the Supreme Court, exactly as intended. The Court even agrees to hear the case ... only to uphold Roe v Wade, 5 - 4.
All in all, it was a classic case of abort, retry, fail.
The problem with voting based on your beliefs rather than your situation in life
Left wing girls won't date me because they don't like my views
Right wing girls won't date me because I don't have a job
Wait, I just checked with the left wing girls
They said they wouldn't date a guy with no job either
An English WW2 pilot was...
...talking in the school about his war experience.
"So I'm flying over German land in my plane. I was alone. Out of the blue, a fokker flanks me on the right. Then, I found a fokker on my left wing too. I was panicking, when suddenly 2 more fokkers appeared and surrounded me..."
By now, the children are giggling, so an embaressed teacher intervenes, "Actually, fokker is the name of a German airplane."
"Yeah", interjected the pilot, "But these fokkers were flying in Dorniers."
Since you liked the first one...more Russian jokes. (Airplane Intercom Version)
"Good afternoon passengers. We are currently flying at 20000 feet. If you take a look out of the windows on the left-hand side you will get a good view of our left engine on fire. If you look out the right-hand side windows you will see our right wing has fallen off. Below the airplane you will soon see 5 parachutes. Our crew thanks you for flying Aeroflot. We wish you a pleasant journey to wherever your final destination may be."
How many economists does it take to change a light bulb?
It depends on the economist:
How many right-wing economists does it take to change a light bulb?
None, the invisible hand will take care of it.
How many keynesian economists does it take to change a lightbulb?
All of them, in order to shift tha aggregate demand to the right and generate more employment and consumption.
How many marxist economists does it take to change the lightbulb?
None. The lightbulb contains the seeds of its own revolution.
I'm translating it from portuguese, hopefully it's right spelled and not a repost.
A man jumps into a lion's cage to save a 5 year old boy by punching the lion in the nose
Soon, reporters are on the scene.
"Why don't you tell us a bit more about yourself"
"Well, I'm currently a stockbroker, but I got out of the Army only two years ago"
"What do you do for fun"
"I'm an avid fisherman, and I teach rifle safety classes for the NRA"
"Who'd you vote for in the last election"
"Trump."
The next day, the headline reads:
*GUN TOTING RIGHT WING CRAZY REPUBLICAN CRAZED VETERAN CAPITALIST PUNCHES AN AFRICAN IMMIGRANT IN THE FACE, STEALS HIS LUNCH*
Stalin calls a meeting in the Politburo
To hold a debate on wether there will be money in the Soviet Union. The two main factions, led by Trotsky and Bukharin, represent left- and right-wing views. Trotsky said, "We should absolutely abolish money, the state should be able to provide all of its citizens." Bukharin rises to speak, saying, "We must have money, as we shouldn't run social experiments." In his synthetic, dialectical wisdom, Stalin says, "There will be and won't be money." Everyone turns to look at him, quizzically. Someone finally speaks up, "How is this possible, comrade?" "Some people will have money, and others won't.
The kids at middle school are studying WWII...
... and little Timmys grandpa, who was a fighter pilot in the war, is invited to class to tell about his experiences. He reminisces:
"Now, the worst situation I was ever in, was probably when I encountered a German air wing all by myself. I had one Fokker above me, one Fokker behind me and one Fokker off to my right, so I..."
The class begins to snicker uncontrollably so teacher steps in.
"Now, class, before you start getting ideas, Fokker was the name of a German aeroplane manufacturer. Isn't that right, sir?"
"Yes, Ma'am!... these particular Fokkers were flying Messerschmidts, though..."
p**... is a poor Irish farmer...
He spends all day from dawn till dusk working his little farm to provide for his sick wife and 12 daughters.
Every night he kneels by the side of his bed and prays. 'Dear Lord, I'm a good catholic just trying to do right, please oh Lord could I win the lottery?'
For years and years p**... struggles on, ekeing a meagre existence from his tiny farm, attending church every sunday, nursing his sick wife and teaching his 12 daughters how to live moral lives.
And every night still, he kneels by the side of his bed and begs the lord to please let him win the lottery.
One night, he is kneeling and praying like usual, when suddenly the sky bursts into golden light, a glorious chorus of angels sing and winged cherubs strum harps as the lord himself appears to p**....
p**...,' Gods deep voice booms.
With tears streaming down his face and his arms stretched towards the sky, p**... shouts 'YES MY LORD!'
'BUY A TICKET.'
Three Nuns cross the road...
They get hit by a bus, die and go to heaven.
They reach the pearly gates and St. Peter is there waiting for them.
As they line up, St. Peter says "Right ladies, in order for you to get into heaven you must answer a question each." The Nuns nod and agree.
St. Peter turns to the first Nun and asks "Who was the first man on earth?" the first nun replies "That's easy, Adam!"
"Correct, collect your wings and halo and come on in"
St. Peter turns to the second nun and asks "Who was the first woman on earth?"
"Easy!" replies the nun "Eve."
"Correct collect your wings and halo and in you go"
St.Peter then turns to the last nun and says "Now this question is a little more difficult, since you are mother superior"
The nun says "Fire away I'm ready"
"OK, what did Eve say to Adam on the first night they met?"
The nun looking puzzled, says "Hmmmmm now that's a hard one."
St. Peter replies "Correct! collect your wings and halo and in you go!"
