Riding Motorcycle Jokes
54 riding motorcycle jokes and hilarious riding motorcycle puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about riding motorcycle that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
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Funniest Riding Motorcycle Short Jokes
Short riding motorcycle jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The riding motorcycle humour may include short motorcycle jokes also.
- Sean Connery: A Man Who Conquers All *obviously, this is read in the man's grizzled voice*
What's the difference between your mother and a motorcycle?
When I ride a motorcycle... I wear protection. - I can't think of a time when I lost my toupee while riding a motorcycle. At least not right off the top of my head.
- What do you call a group of Norwegian monarchs who ride motorcycles and enjoy both men and women? The Bikings.
- A man made a motorcycle completely out of wood It had a wooden engine, a wooden frame, wooden tires, wooden gas tank, everything was wood.
But did he ride it?
No, wooden start.... - what's the difference between your first motorcycle and you first girlfriend? Nothing, it doesn't matter what either of them look like, you're just happy to have something to ride.
- Mopeds are for men who want to ride motorcycles but prefer to feel the wind on their vaginas
- Stormtrooper helmets I would wear a stormtrooper helmet everytime I went for a ride on a motorcycle to avoid HITTING anything.
- What do you call a medieval ruler who frequently says farewell, is attracted to both genders, rides a motorcycle, and originates from Scandinavia? A biking
- A doctor from the morgue calls the local dealership: "How many motorcycles did you sell today?" "Four." "Oh, looks like one is still riding"
- Why does the Undertaker ride his motorcycle slowly? Because he's an Undertaker not an Overtaker!
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Riding Motorcycle One Liners
Which riding motorcycle one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with riding motorcycle? I can suggest the ones about motorbike and riding bike.
- Why didn't the motorcycle want to go for a ride? It was two tired...
- Motorcycle will last you a lifetime if you ride it fast enough.
- Why kind of motorcycles do cows ride? Mooooootorcycles!
- Scooters and fat girls are both fun to ride. Until your friends see you.
- Yo mama is so dark that she was riding a motorcycle and got a ticket for tinted windows!
- What is Charming than raining Cats & Dogs...? Riding on the Motorcycle....
- What do you call an idiot riding a motorcycle? A dead idiot.
- What kind of motorcycle dose santa ride Holy Davidson
- A Guy Rides A Motorcycle And he falls over.
- Two w**... were riding a motorcycle.... ... When suddenly your mom fell off
- What do you call non-muslims that rides motorcycle? k**... rider
- What Kind of Motorcycles do l**... ride? Chowasaki. - Pat H.
Silly & Ridiculous Riding Motorcycle Jokes to Spread Joy & Laughter
What funny jokes about riding motorcycle you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean riding bicycle jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make riding motorcycle pranks.
A bear is chasing a bunny when all of a sudden a djinni appears and grants them each three wishes.
The bear, being very selfish, wishes that all the bears in his forest were female and instantly it is done. Then the bunny wishes he had a lifetime supply of carrots in his backyard. For his next turn, the bear wishes that all the other bears in his entire nation were female. The bunny wishes for a motorcycle. Finally on the last wish, the bear wishes that all the other bears on the whole earth were female. The bunny wishes that the bear was gay and rides home on his motorcycle.
A guy riding on a motorcycle was wearing a tee-shirt.
The back of his shirt says, "If you can read this the b*t**... fell off."
An Indian cab driver picked up a Japanese man from a hotel.
Along the way, they saw a Honda motorcycle overtake the taxicab and the Japanese guy said, "Motorcycle very fast, made in Japan." Then a Toyota car overtook the taxicab and the Japanese guy said, "Car very fast, made in Japan." When they reached the destination the fare was 1500 rupees. The Japanese man thought the ride was would only cost 500 rupees. He asked the driver why the ride was so expensive. The driver said, "Meter very fast, made in India."
Three men die, and go to the pearly gates...
St. Peter walks up to the firsts, and he says: "You have lived a good life, but you have cheated on your wife many times. Confess here before your friends, and you will be allowed into heaven."
The man says: "I slept with a different woman every week of my ten-year marriage. I beg for forgiveness."
St. Peter forgives him, and gives him a bicycle. He tells him that he must travel for a thousand miles as penance, and think about his sin.
The second man says:"I was married for five years, and I slept with a different woman as a lover each year. I beg for forgiveness."
St. Peter forgives him, and gives him a motorcycle. He tells him that he must travel for a thousand miles as penance, and think about his sin.
The third man says: "I was married for a month, and stayed faithful throughout. Then my wife died, so I committed s**... so I may be with her."
St. Peter tells him: "I know. Follow me." He then leads him to a helicopter, and tells him to enjoy the ride. The man soon enough passes the other two men, who see him land a short distance away. They eventually catch up to him, and see he is crying.
The first two men ask him: "Why are you crying? You have no sins to atone for!"
The third says: "I just saw my wife... She was skateboarding."
A little girl was walking home...
A Little 10-year-old girl was walking home, alone, from school, when a big man on a black motorcycle pulls up beside her. After following along for a while, he yells, "Hey there, Little girl! Do you want to go for a ride?"
"NO!" says the little girl, and keeps walking. The motorcyclist again pulls up beside her and asks, "Hey, Little girl! I will give you $10 if you hop on the back."
"NO!" says the little girl, walking a bit faster down the street.
The motorcyclist pulls up beside the little girl again and says, "Okay, Kid, this is my last offer! I'll give you 20 bucks and a big bag of candy, if you will just hop on the back of my bike and go for a ride."
Finally, the little girl stops and turns towards him and screams,
"Look, Dad, you're the one who bought the Honda instead of the Harley, so YOU RIDE IT!"
Me and my friend were riding on my motorcycle...
... on a particularly windy day when we saw a cyclist in front of us, pedaling in the middle of the road,
with a car honking furiously behind him...
So we drove over and asked the guy "Why don't you move to the side and let the car overtake you?"
The guy replied "I am trying!!!"
Near Death Experience
I was driving one afternoon with my wife, when as we pulled up to a stop light, a motorcycle rider with long blonde hair pulls past us.
My wife commented "That's a woman riding that bike, cool!"
I replied "So does that make her a BILF?"
"BILF?" she asked.
"You know, a Biker I'd Like to F.."
"Drac73521! You haven't even seen her face, what if she's ugly, would you still want to f her then?" she exclaimed..
"Probably.. I mean I married you after all.."
Doctors tell me I can go home this weekend..
The Bear and the Rabbit
Mr. Bear and Mr. Rabbit live in the same forest, but they don't like each other. One day, they come across a golden frog who offers them three wishes each. Mr. Bear wishes that all the other bears in the forest were female. Mr. Rabbit wishes for a c**... helmet. Mr. Bear's second wish is that all the bears in the neighboring forests were female as well. Mr. Rabbit wishes for a motorcycle. Mr. Bear's final wish is that all the other bears in the world were female, leaving him the only male bear in the world. Mr. Rabbit revs the engine of his motorcycle and says, "I wish that Mr. Bear was gay!" and rides off.
Two ants meet in the south for the winter to keep warm...
...and one is cold and shivering on when he arrives. "that will be the last time I ride to Florida in the moustache of a man on a motorcycle, I'm freezing!"
The other ant says "Just do what I do, hitch a ride between the legs of a beautiful woman. It's the warmest way to travel."
The shivering ant says "That's what I did, but I dozed off, and woke up in the moustache of a man on a motorcycle."
Rabbit and the Bear
A rabbit and a bear are together wandering through a forest. They find a magic lamp with a genie inside it. The genie decides to grant them 3 wishes each. First the bear wishes for all the female bears in the forest to love him. The rabbit wishes for a helmet. The bear wishes for all the female bears on the mountain to love him. The rabbit then wishes for a motorcycle. Finally the bear wishes for all the female bears in the world to love him. The rabbit points at the bear "I wish he was gay". Then he hops on the motorcycle and rides away.
My girlfriend and my motorcycle have something in common.
The faster I accelerate the ride, the more likely I am to break my c**....
What's the difference between my e**... and my motorcycle?
My wife actually looks forward to riding the motorcycle.
Riding a motorcycle is like having s**... without a c**....
It does feel great at the time, but if you make a mistake it's really really bad.
Two priests were riding very fast on a motorcycle.
They were promptly stopped by a policeman who said, What do you think you are doing?
What if you have an accident?
The priests say, Don't worry, my son. God is with us.
The policeman says, In that case, I have to book you. Three people are not allowed to ride on a motorcycle.
If brains were gasoline...
...you wouldn't have enough to ride a motorcycle half way around a cheerio.
A genie grants a Bear and a Squirrel each 3 wishes.
Wish 1: The Bear wishes that every bear in the world would become female.
Wish 1: The squirrel wishes for a motorcycle he can ride.
Wish 2: The Bear wishes that every female bear in the world would fall in love with him.
Wish 2: The Squirrel wishes for a helmet.
Wish 3: The Bear wishes that none of the female bears ever wanted to get married.
Wish 3: The Squirrel wishes the Bear was gay.
Mr. Bear and Mr. Rabbit live in the same forest, but they don't like each other.
Mr. Bear and Mr. Rabbit live in the same forest, but they don't like each other.
One day, they come across a golden frog who offers them three wishes each.
Mr. Bear wishes that all the other bears in the forest were female.
Mr. Rabbit wishes for a c**... helmet.
Mr. Bear's second wish is that all the bears in the neighboring forests were female as well.
Mr. Rabbit wishes for a motorcycle.
Mr. Bear's final wish is that all the other bears in the world were female, leaving him the only male bear in the world.
Mr. Rabbit revs the engine of his motorcycle and says, "I wish that Mr. Bear was gay!" and rides off.
Two men were riding on a motorcycle...
The man in front was getting annoyed, because his jacket had lost a button and was flapping in the wind. So he turned the jacket around backward, and the two of them were on their way.
Sadly, the two men crashed into a tree. One police officer who happened to be in the area arrived first on the scene. Some time later, a detective showed up.
Detective: This looks like a terrible c**.... Were there any survivors?
Police Officer: No. The first one died immediately, and by the time I got the other one's head turned back around, he was dead too.
Cr
A guy rides his motorcycle through the border from Spain to France every week carrying two bags of sand.
The border guard searched the bags every time, but never found anything, so he had to let him through. The guard has his last day at work before retiring and the guy comes to the border again, carrying his two bags of sand. The guard says "look, man, it's my last day, I'm not going to bust you. You're clearly smuggling *something* across the border all this time but we never find anything, what is it.". The guy says "I'm smuggling motorcycles"
A little girl was walking home from school when a man on a motorcycle pulled up beside her.
Man: Hey little girl, want to ride on the back of my motorcycle?
Girl: No.
Man: Come on sweetie, I'll give you five dollars if you ride with me.
Girl: Get away from me or I'll call the cops.
Man: How about twenty dollars, just get on the back with me.
Girl: (Starts running) No way!
Man: Okay, final offer, twenty dollars and a bag of candy.
Girl: Look, Dad, you had to buy a Honda instead of a Harley, you ride it!