Riding Bike Jokes
124 riding bike jokes and hilarious riding bike puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about riding bike that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
Funniest Riding Bike Short Jokes
Short riding bike jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The riding bike humour may include short riding bicycle jokes also.
- Two nuns went on a bike ride... ...and one says to the other, as they turn down a side street
"I've never come this way before!"
And the other replies
"yes! It's the cobblestones!" - My 9 year old just told me this one and I had to share. What's the hardest part about learning to ride a bike. The pavement.
- I saw a black guy riding a bike near my house yesterday I thought it was mine. So I checked the garage and it was still chained up, asking for food.
- So I got a phone call from the post office today... ...complaining that my dog is attacking a postman on a bike. But I told them "It can't be my dog... he doesn't even know how to ride a bike".
- My dog is obsessed with chasing people on bikes. I'm honestly just impressed he can ride a bike.
- I crashed my bike the other day and got two punctures. I don't think I can ride my bike again. I'll have to retire it.
- If you ever miss the Tour de France, just go to Amsterdam. It's basically the same thing: a bunch of people on drugs riding bikes.
- Man, after joining a Biker Gang: Do we or don't we ride our bikes at the same speed? Biker: Yes, we do. But stop calling it synchronizing our cycles.
- l accidentally played 'dad' instead of 'dead' when the bear attacked. Now it can ride a bike without
stabilizers. - What is the best part of Pokemon Go? I can ride my bike indoors and professor oak can't do anything to stop me.
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Riding Bike One Liners
Which riding bike one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with riding bike? I can suggest the ones about riding motorcycle and riding.
- How many adhd kids does it take to change a light bulb? LETS GO RIDE BIKES
- how many ADHD kids does it take to screw in a lightbulb? hey let's go ride our bikes
- Why is PTSD like riding a bike? You never forget
- What did the orphan kid say when he was riding his bike? Look hands, no mum..
- What did the amputee say to his mom when he learned to ride a bike? Look ma, no hands!
- What do you call a serial killer that rides a bike? A Cyclepath
- How do flowers ride a bike? With its pedals
- My bike needs new brakes. I'm addicted to riding it though. I just can't stop.
- What kind of bike does hipster Jesus ride? A Cruci-fixie.
- What's the hardest part about riding a bike? The pavement.
- What do you call a long bike ride with a bunch of cheap wine? Le Tour de Franzia
- My friend rides a bike with a spike on the seat It's a vicious cycle.
- Why are pigs not allowed to ride bikes? Because they lack the thumbs to ring the bell.
- What can you say about a midget who rides stunt bikes? He's Wheely Tiny
- Why couldn't the flower ride its bike? its petals broke.
Riding Bike Funny Jokes And Hilarious Puns.
What funny jokes about riding bike you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean bike jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make riding bike pranks.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A Jumper
On January 9 a group of Pekin IL , bikers were riding west on I-74 when they saw a girl about to jump off a Peoria bridge, so they stopped.
The Harley leader, George a big burly man of 53, gets off his bike, walks through the gawkers, past the State Trooper, and says, "What are you doing?"
"I'm going to commit s**...," she says.
While he didn't want to appear "sensitive," he didn't want to miss a be-a-legend opportunity either so he asked ... "Well, before you jump, why don't you give me a kiss?"
So, with no hesitation at all, she leaned back over the railing and did just that ... and it was a long, deep, lingering kiss followed immediately by another one.
After she's finished, George gets approval from his group, the onlookers, and even the State Trooper, then says,
"Wow! That was the best kiss I have ever had, Honey! That's a real talent you are wasting, Sugar Shorts. You could be famous if you rode with me. Why are you committing s**...?"
"My parents don't like me dressing up like a girl".
The onlookers are still unclear whether she jumped or was pushed!
the case for the lost bicycle
A Methodist preacher and a Baptist preacher live in a small southern town. Every day, they pass each other on their bycycles as they ride to their respective churches. One day, the Methodist notices the Baptist walking.
He says "Brother, where is your bicycle?"
"My heart is heavy, for I fear that a member of my congregation has stolen it" replied the Baptist.
"That's horrible." Thinking for a moment, the Methodist has an idea. "I know how we might get your bike back. This Sunday, you should preach the ten commandments. When you get to thou shalt not steal, really bear down on it. Maybe the theif will feel guilty and return your bike."
"That's a great idea, I'll try it!"
Sure enough, the following Monday, the Methodist preacher sees the Baptist Preacher riding his bike.
"I see my plan worked" said the Methodist.
"Well, not exactly" replied the Baptist. "I did like you said, and gave a real fire and brimstone sermon on the ten commandments. However, when I got to thou shalt no commit adultery, I remembered where I left my bike."
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Amsterdam is a lot like the Tour de France.
It's just a lot of people on drugs riding bikes.
Old Joke From Bosnia
A boy rides up to his friend on his bike, he says "Look at me I can ride my bike!"
The friend says "Mhmm"
The next day the boy rides up again
Boy "Look I can ride with out using my legs!"
friend "Mmmhm"
Again the boy rides up again later that day
Boy "Look I can ride with out my legs or arms!"
friend "Mmmhmm"
The next day the boy rides up again on his bike
the boy says "Look I can ride without my teeth!"
(Sorry for the bad grammar)
A man takes his dog to a vet...
A man takes his dog to a vet because it has too much hair in its ears and is having trouble hearing. The vet suggests using nair hair removal cream to remove the large portion of hair from its ears.
So the man goes to a pharmacy and asks for some nair hair removal cream. Then at the counter, the pharmacist says, "ok if this is for your legs, don't wear any tight pants for a few days".
The man says, "its not for my legs".
The pharmacist then says, "ok if it's for your underarms, don't wear any tight shirts for a few days".
The man says, "its not for my underarms". The pharmacist then asks, "what is it for then?"
"It's for my schnauzer. "
Then don't ride your bike for a few days.
eye roller of a dog joke
Mrs Young was walking to the grocery store when her neighbor came up to her and said "Hello Debra, How's your dog? I saw her yesterday chasing an old man on a bike."
"Oh" said Mrs Young "That could NOT have been my dog"
"Oh, why not?" replied her neighbor "I'm pretty sure it was her"
"Well" stated Mrs. Young smiling "my dog doesn't ride a bike"
What do riding a bike and playing basketball have in common?
If you're not careful, you can pop a ball.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Two nuns riding through the garden of the convent...
They giggle, laugh and scream as they ride their bikes over the cobble stone paths. All of a sudden, the window of Mother Superior swings open. She shouts:" Girls! Keep it down, or I'm having the saddles re-installed!"
A nerd rides up to his friend on a new bike.
The friend asks "Wow! Where'd you get the cool bike?"
The guy replies "A beautiful blond woman rode up to me on it, then took off all her clothes, and said I could have anything I wanted!"
The friend says "Good call, dude! The clothes would never have fit!"
So there were two nuns and...
They were riding there bikes down an old cobblestone street, one nun said oh sister Mary Margret I've never come this way before, and sister Mary Margret replied it's the cobblestone streets.
The police knocked on my door the other night...
...and informed me that they were there to take my dog away. Apparently there had been complaints that he was chasing down and barking at my neighbors' son on his bike.
I happen to know, however, that my dog doesn't ride a bike.
Being engaged
Daddy what does being engaged mean?
Son It's like getting a bike for Christmas but not being able to ride it til Easter.
What kind of bikes do girls ride?
Menstrual Cycles
(I'm 99% sure I made this up!)
Why don't plumbers ride bikes?
Because they'd get arrested for peddling crack
Losing my virginity was a lot like learning to ride my bike
My dad was behind me the whole way.
Ranji is a 9yr old boy living in Namibia.
Can you spare just $2.00? Ranji is a 9yr old boy living in Namibia. He has only 1 leg, 1 arm and 1 eye. Each day he has to ride 7 miles to school along a narrow road on a rusty bike with bent wheels, no brakes and only 1 pedal. If you send us just $2, we will send you the video - its hilarious.
Learning to ride a bike is like losing your virginity...
No matter how many years go by, you never forget the feeling of your dads hands on your shoulders as he pushes.
Why don't professional athletes ride bikes to warm-up before games?
Because then they'd be two tired
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
How many kids with ADD does it take to screw in a light bulb?
Wanna go for a bike ride?
Losing your virginity is a lot like learning to ride a bike...
Dad is holding you from behind the whole time
What's the difference between a sociopath and a psychopath?
You can't ride your bike on a sociopath
The other day I took a dump, then did some drugs, then went for a bike ride.
Then I saw an environmental poster that said "Reduce, Reuse, Recycle" - so I did it all over again.
Why can't Jimmy ride his bike?
Because he has no limbs
Kinda dark, I know. It's just for those out there who would chuckle at this. ;D
What's the difference between my bike and your mom?
Your dad doesn't watch when I ride my bike.
Little Peter came home riding a red girl's bike one day
...and his mother asks where he got the bike.
Peter explains that he went into the woods with Jennifer and that she had taken off her shirt and pants and told him to grab whatever he desired.
"But, why would I want a pair of girl's pants? So, I took the bike".
After doing it once they said a prostate exam is like riding a bike..
Without the seat.
Policeman stops priest on the bike...
Policeman: Hello father. Your light isn't working. That will be 20$.
Priest: Don't worry mister, i'm not in danger. Jesus is always with me.
Policeman: Sorry father. Then the fine is 40$ because two persons are not allowed to ride a bike.
You know how to do gypsy triathlon?
You walk to the pool, don't swim, and then ride home on a brand new bike.
What did the Muslim caught stealing say when he was riding his bike?
Look! No hands!
Vin Diesel was riding his bike at the speed of light when a man asked him for a lift.
Vin Diesel stopped for him to hop on and continued riding at the speed of light.
After a while the man asked.
Man: "So what's your name?"
Vin: "Cin Diesel"
Man: "Don't you mean Vin Diesel?"
Vin: "No it's Cin Diesel"
Man: "But why?"
Vin: "Because at the speed of light c=v"
I flew the love of my life to the mountains this weekend. I rode her for hours. I had never rode her so hard! In fact I was so tired I decided to stay the night and ended up riding her some more in the morning. I don't think I have ever had such an amazing time.
My GF hates when I talk about my bike trips with her parents.
losing my virginity was a lot like how I learned to ride a bike
My dad having a firm grip on my shoulders .
My grandfather told me this In German so it might already be posted somewhere here, oh and it's translated
Two guys are riding bicycles down the street.
One of the bikes fenders was loose and was making a loud noise.
So the first guy said to the second guy
"Hey your fender is too loud"
The second guy says "what?"
The first guy speaks louder
"your fender is too loud"
The second guy replies "what?"
The first guy yells
"YOUR FENDER IS TOO LOUD"
The second guy yells back
"I CANT HEAR YOU MY FENDER IS TOO LOUD!"
i used to ride my bike a lot
until recently i decided to take a brake from it
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Girl about to jump of a bridge.....
A tough looking group of bikers were riding when they saw a girl about to jump off a bridge, so they stopped. The leader, a big burly man, gets off his bike and says, What are you doing?
I'm going to commit s**..., she says.
While he did not want to appear insensitive, he didn't want to miss an opportunity. He asked Well, before you jump, why don't you give me a b**...? So, she does and it was a long, deep and slow b**....
After she's finished, the biker says, Wow! That was the best b**... I have ever had. That's a real talent you are wasting. You could be famous. Why are you committing s**...?
My parents don't like me dressing up like a girl.....
I got complaints about my dog chasing people on bikes
I didnt know my dog could ride a bike
My first time riding my bike was like losing my virginity....
It was good for about 30 seconds, then it got pretty messy and there was a lot of crying on my part.
They say when confronted by a bear, the best thing to do is play dead, so when I came face to face with one in the woods the other day, I accidentally played dad instead...
Now it can ride a bike without training wheels...
My Dad's favorite sports are horse racing, bike racing, and women...
... basically anything where you can put a leg over something and ride it.
I saw a black guy riding a bike down the street
I thought it was mine, so I checked my garage and it was still chained up, begging for food.
Losing my virginity was a lot like when I first learned how to ride a bike.
My father had his hands on my shoulders.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
After riding my bike for three hours I discovered a new dinosaur
The Mega-sore-a**....
On my bike ride home I fell into multiple potholes
This road sees more action in 1 day than me in a week.
I wanted to go for a ride early morning.
But my bike didn't feel like it. It was 'two tyred'.
I got a call from the pound
They wanted to tell me that they had picked up my dog because it was chasing a kid on a bike.
I said " That kid is a liar because not only does my dog not own a bike; he doesn't even know how to ride one yet!
When I bought a fixed gear bike last summer, people called me a hipster.
Commuting to work today in the snow, I finally understood why. I only liked riding my bike before it was cool.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A German man, an Englishman, and a Belgian man walk into a bar
After a couple of drinks, the German man says: 'My wife is SO s**.... She bought a bike, while she can't even ride it!'
The Englishman replied: 'Well, my wife is even more s**...: she bought a pool and can't even swim!'
The Belgian man laughes and says: 'That's nothing, my wife couldn't be more s**...: she is going to Ibiza for two weeks. She's bringing twenty condoms, and she doesn't even have a d**...!'
My brother isn't going for a bike ride tomorrow because his brakes don't work
That shouldn't stop him.
What do you call a person who rides a mountain bike with smooth street tires?
A bicyc-sual.
When I was walking home
When I was walking home, I saw a child riding a bike. It looked remarkably like mine, so I hurried home to make sure. When I got there, I saw it was still chained up in my garage asking for food
Adding a PERIOD to a sentence can literally change everything, too. For example...
*I heard Jane was riding on her bike.*
Becomes...
*I heard Jane was riding on her period.*
Bike is short for Bichael
So yesterday i was sitting on my front porch and i saw a black guy riding a bike, i thought it was mine so i checked my shed but it was still there chained up and asking for food
I don't understand people who don't recycle...
Why would you buy a bike and only ride it once?
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
I saw a black guy riding a bike...
I was wondering where I left mine, then realized it was in the shed at home begging for food.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
My first time having s**... was like my first time riding a bike
I broke both my arms
Driving an automatic transmission car is like riding a bike
Only two pedals
What do you call a medieval ruler who frequently says farewell, is attracted to both genders, rides a motorcycle, and originates from Scandinavia?
A biking
"You gotta help man, my bike's possessed. If I ride it, it bites me, if I don't, it still bites me."
"It's a vicious cycle."
"You think that's bad? My bike's turned entirely into clumpy goo."
"It's a viscous cycle."
"You think that's bad?! My bike's turned into a man, and then gone off to compete in the olympics."
"It's discus michael."
Ole came home from a long business trip to find his son riding a new 21 speed mountain bike.
"Vere did you get da money for da bike? Dat musta cost $500," he asked.
"It was easy, Dad," little Lars replied. "I earned it hiking."
"Come on Lars," Ole said. "Tell me da truth."
"Dat is da truth Dad!" Lars replied.
"Every night you ver gone, Sven, would come over to see Mom. He'd give me a $10 bill and tell me ta take a hike.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Random dirty joke
Girl 1: Hey, that's a nice bike. When you get her?
Girl 2: Her? Did you just assume my bike's gender?
Girl 1: Well I find it hard to believe any guy lets you ride them willingly.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Ran out of v**... and decided to ride my bike into the liquor store
Man that hurt.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Last night I rode my bike to the store and they had my favorite whiskey on sale!
I had to ride my bike home with the bottle in my jacket. On the way back I hit a p**... hole, fell down and immediately felt some wetness under my jacket. You can imagine my relief when I realized it was just blood!
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
I have a f**... for bikes riding on top of me
I guess I'm a cycle path
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Where does a m**... ride his bike?
A cycle path.