Riding Bicycle Jokes
110 riding bicycle jokes and hilarious riding bicycle puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about riding bicycle that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
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Funniest Riding Bicycle Short Jokes
Short riding bicycle jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The riding bicycle humour may include short riding bike jokes also.
- Two nuns are riding bicycles through the streets of Rome. "I've never come this way before" says the first nun.
The second nun replies: "It's the cobblestones." - TIL, Hippos can run faster than humans on land and swimmer faster in water But still you can defeat them in a triathlon as they don't know how to ride a bicycle
- 2 nuns go for a bicycle ride around the Vatican. The first nun says "I've never come this way before." The second nun says "yeah, must be the cobblestones."
- Two Dutch girls Two dutch girls are riding their bicycles home from school one day. The first one says "I've never come this way before." And the other says "it's the cobblestones. "
- What's the difference between a formally-dressed man riding a unicycle and a casually-dressed man riding a bicycle? Attire.
- Two Nuns are riding their bicycles down the back streets of Rome . One leans over to the other and says, "I've never come this way before." The other Nun whispers, "It's the cobblestones."
- People who get road rage against people riding bicycles. They've got serious cyclelogical issues.
- Two nuns riding Down a cobbled road on bicycles. First one says to the other, "I've never come this way before." The other nun replies, "neither have i, it's probably the cobbles."
- Two nuns are riding their bicycles to the Vatican First nun shouts to the other "I've never come this way before!"
The second nun replies "don't worry it's just the cobblestones." - Stop signs are red, traffic lights are green, I ride a bicycle, and have no idea what that means.
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Riding Bicycle One Liners
Which riding bicycle one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with riding bicycle? I can suggest the ones about ride bike and bicycle riding.
- How many kids with adhd does it take to change a lightbulb? Wanna ride our bicycles?
- What does a bicycle say after a long ride? "I'm two tired!"
- What is the hardest thing about learning to ride a bicycle? The road.
- I like my women how I like my bicycle Hanging in my garage until I want to go for a ride
- How is learning to ride a bicycle and 9/11 alike? Because you never forget!
- Why is the tomato red? Because it's angry that it can't ride a bicycle.
- I asked my bicycle to take me for a ride ... ... but it was two tired.
- A woman without a man is like a fish without a bicycle . Always wet but nothing to ride
- I've never been a fan of riding a bicycle... I find it two tyresome
- Why wasn't the bicycle riding well? It was two tired.
- What does a man riding a bicycle and a unicycle have in common? Attire.
- Bicycle dog My dog's started chasing people riding a bike.
We had to take it off him. - What is that joke about the two engineers who are riding bicycles and there's a girl?
- Why could a bisexual be considered a bicycle? They'll let anyone ride them
- What do you call a black man riding a bicycle? A BYEcycle
Witty Riding Bicycle Jokes for Laughter-Filled Fun with Friends
What funny jokes about riding bicycle you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean biking jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make riding bicycle pranks.
Two nuns were riding their bicycles down the street. The first nun says, "I've never came this way before." The second nun says, "Yeah, it's the cobblestones!"
I was just told that my dog chased someone on a bicycle and bit him.
That's b**..., my dog can't even ride a bicycle.
"I can't decide whether to buy a bicycle or a cow for my farm."
"Well, wouldn't you look silly riding a cow?"
"I d look a darn sight sillier trying to milk a bicycle!"
A preacher was making his rounds to his parishioners on a bicycle, when he came upon a little boy trying to sell a lawn mower.
"How much do you want for the mower?" asked the preacher.
"I just want enough money to go out and buy me a bicycle," said the little boy.
After a moment of consideration, the preacher asked, "Will you take my bike in trade for it?"
The little boy asked if he could try it out first, and, after riding the bike around a little while, said, "Mister, you've got yourself a deal."
The preacher took the mower and began to crank it.
He pulled on the rope a few times with no response from the mower.
The preacher called the little boy over and said, "I can't get this mower to start."
The little boy said, "That's because you have to cuss at it to get it started."
The preacher said, I'm a minister, and I can't cuss. It's been so long since I've been saved that I don't even remember how to cuss."
The little boy looked at him happily and said, "You just keep pulling on that rope. It'll come back to ya!"
nuns have desires too
two nuns were riding their bicycles through the back streets and alleys of rome.
one turns to the other and says, "i've never come this way before".
the other nun says, "it's the cobblestones".
Three men die, and go to the pearly gates...
St. Peter walks up to the firsts, and he says: "You have lived a good life, but you have cheated on your wife many times. Confess here before your friends, and you will be allowed into heaven."
The man says: "I slept with a different woman every week of my ten-year marriage. I beg for forgiveness."
St. Peter forgives him, and gives him a bicycle. He tells him that he must travel for a thousand miles as penance, and think about his sin.
The second man says:"I was married for five years, and I slept with a different woman as a lover each year. I beg for forgiveness."
St. Peter forgives him, and gives him a motorcycle. He tells him that he must travel for a thousand miles as penance, and think about his sin.
The third man says: "I was married for a month, and stayed faithful throughout. Then my wife died, so I committed s**... so I may be with her."
St. Peter tells him: "I know. Follow me." He then leads him to a helicopter, and tells him to enjoy the ride. The man soon enough passes the other two men, who see him land a short distance away. They eventually catch up to him, and see he is crying.
The first two men ask him: "Why are you crying? You have no sins to atone for!"
The third says: "I just saw my wife... She was skateboarding."
The Bicycle
A m**... was walking with the tribe chief in a remote part of Africa explaining to him the wonders of modern society. As they were walking, they see movements in the bushes near them.
Fearing that it might be lions, the chief stood still while the curious m**... went to see what lies behind the bushes. To his amazement he sees a man and a woman going at it. He retreats and joins the chief.
"Lets go. It's just a guy riding a bicycle"
Having never seen a bicycle before, the chief excitedly went behind the bushes. After seeing for himself what the m**... had seen, he pulled out his spear and killed the man.
"Why did you do that?" the m**... asked.
to which the chief answered, "He was riding my bicycle."
Two nuns are out riding their bicycles..
Two nuns are out in the countryside riding ow their bicycles.
The first nun suggested that they take a shortcut.
A few minutes later the second one says: "I've never come this way before."
The first one replies: "Oh, I guess it must be the cobblestones."
the case for the lost bicycle
A Methodist preacher and a Baptist preacher live in a small southern town. Every day, they pass each other on their bycycles as they ride to their respective churches. One day, the Methodist notices the Baptist walking.
He says "Brother, where is your bicycle?"
"My heart is heavy, for I fear that a member of my congregation has stolen it" replied the Baptist.
"That's horrible." Thinking for a moment, the Methodist has an idea. "I know how we might get your bike back. This Sunday, you should preach the ten commandments. When you get to thou shalt not steal, really bear down on it. Maybe the theif will feel guilty and return your bike."
"That's a great idea, I'll try it!"
Sure enough, the following Monday, the Methodist preacher sees the Baptist Preacher riding his bike.
"I see my plan worked" said the Methodist.
"Well, not exactly" replied the Baptist. "I did like you said, and gave a real fire and brimstone sermon on the ten commandments. However, when I got to thou shalt no commit adultery, I remembered where I left my bike."
An Indian learning English.
An Indian(like from India) is walking through the forest with his English teacher while the teacher points to and names objects. He points to a tree and says, "tree" the Indian repeats, "tree". They walk a little further and the teacher points to a rock and says, "rock" and the Indian repeats, "rock". They walk a little farther still and they come across a couple having s**..., the Indian says, "how you say that?" the teacher, a tad embarrassed, says, "uuhh that's a bicycle." The Indian proceeds to run over, pick up the guy from the ground and beat him senseless. The teacher, surprised, runs over and manages to pull the Indian off of the man. He says," why did you do that? do you know this man?" the Indian responds, "No, I don't know the man, but he was riding my bicycle!"
Collection of my favorite Latvian Jokes.
* Man is hungry. He steal bread to feed family. Get home, find all family have gone Siberia! More bread for me, man think. But bread have worm.
* Man car break down near house of farmer. Take shelter in barn. Find farmer daughter in barn. Oh! Hot stuff! But TOO LATE! Is already r**... by soldier.
* Latvian walk into bar with mule. Bartender say, Why so long face? Latvian say, I was thinking of my daughter. She has been lie with soldier for potato feed baby.
* Three Latvian are brag about sons. My son is soldier. He have r**... as many women as want, say first Latvian. Zo? second say, My son is farmer. He have all potato he want! Third Latvian wait long time, then say, My son is die at birth. For him, struggle is over. Wow! You are win us, say others. But all are feel sad.
* Q : What are one potato say other potato? A : Premise ridiculous. Who have two potato?
* Q : How many Latvian is take screw in light bulb? A : 25. One screw in, 24 ride bicycle generator for 1-hour shift. But time probably better spend search food.
* Q: What is happening if you cross Latvian and potato? A: This is cruel joke. please, no more.
Steven Spielberg dies and goes to heaven.
He's greeted at the gates by Peter who informs him that God is a big fan of his work. He begins with a tour of the place and goes on to mention that if Steven needs anything to just say the word.
"We'll, I'd love to meet Stanley Kubrick," Steven admits.
"I'm sorry, but as you may know, Mr. Kubrick doesn't take meetings," Peter replies.
They continue on their tour until Steven notices a man with a beard, wearing an Army jacket and riding around on a bicycle. Steven stops in his tracks and turns to Peter.
"Hold on. That's Stanley Kubrick!" Spielberg shouts.
"No," Peter says. "Its God. He thinks he's Stanley Kubrick."
A hippy with a bicycle that has a broken chain walks on the side of a road.
A man in a Porsche pulls up next to him and offers him a ride. They try to fit the hippy's bike into the trunk of the man's Porche, but as it is a typical sports car, the trunk is too small for the bike. Then the man has an idea. He says to the hippy, "I have some rope in my trunk, you can tie it to your bike and I'll drive you along. If I'm going to fast, just honk the horn on your bike." The hippy agrees to go along with it and they ride a few miles down the rode. The man in the Porsche pulls up to a stop light next a man in a Lamborghini. They start revving their engine and a race is about to ensue. The light turns green and the man in the Porsche completely forgets about the hippy tied to his car and starts racing the Lamborghini. They're racing and start reaching 80, 90, 100 m.p.h. They pass a cop and when the cop calls the race in he says, "Dispatch you'll never believe what I just saw. I saw a Porsche and a Lamborghini racing down the road at 100 miles per hour, and a hippy on a bike honking his horn trying to pass them."
What does a strawberry and a blueberry have in common?
They both can't ride a bicycle!
A man is driving his new mustang
home from work one day. He spots an incredibly obese man sitting on the curb next to a bicycle, breathing heavily. He stops and asks the man what's wrong. The man said that his doctor told him he needed to excersise and lose some weight. As he could barely run he decided to ride his bike. However, on his first day out he had ridden to far from home and couldn't make it back.
The man has time before he needs to be home so he says"I have a rope in my car I can pull you home. If I get going to fast ring this bell and I will slow down."
When they have only gone a little ways down the road a camaro pulls up next to the mustang. As camaros and mustangs are wont to do they race. A police officer spots them and radios to his partner "I've got a mustang racing a camaro" to which his partner replies alright I'll stop them." The first officer replies"its not them I'm worried about its the three hundred pound guy on a bike ringing a bell to get them to pull over so he can pass that has me concerned."
3 men in heaven
Three men die and go to heaven. After a while there, they meet an angel.
"There's a new policy!" he says. "Everyone gets a free vehicle! The type of vehicle depends on how good you were on Earth."
So they go to God to get there vehicle.
"Okay" God says, "John, how good were you?"
"Well, I was always good to my wife, and I went to church often." he says.
"That means you get Lamborghini!" God says, "Okay Bob, how good were you?"
"Well, I was good to my wife most of the time, and I went to church every so often" he says.
"That means you get an F-150!" God says, "Okay Jim, how good were you?"
"Well, I cheated on my wife often, and I rarely went to church." he says.
"That not even worthy of a vehicle!" God says, "Here, take this bicycle!"
So later Jim is riding his bicycle around, and he sees John crying.
"John, why are you crying?" he asks, "You got the Lambo!"
He says, "Because I saw my wife ride by on roller skates!"
2 nuns take a shortcut
2 nuns are riding bicycles through the Vatican and they decide to take a shortcut down a cobblestone street. The first nun says to the second, "I've never come this way before." The second nun replies to the first, "Nor have I. It must be the cobblestones."
Three men die and go to heaven.
At the pearly gates, St. Peter tells them that he will ask each of them a question and that their answer will determine how they will get around in heaven.
He asks the first man, Have you ever cheated on your wife? The man answers, No, never! St. Peter says, Good man, I will give you a Ferrari for your loyalty.
St. Peter then asks the second man, Have you ever cheated on your wife? The man answers, I did once and regret it to this day! St. Peter says, I hear your regret. Take this Honda Civic.
St. Peter then asks the third man, Have you ever cheated on your wife? The man answers, Many times. What can I say, I just love women! St. Peter says, You are honest. Take this scooter. At least you won't have to walk.
So the third man is riding around on his scooter when he sees the first man's Ferrari pulled over to the side of the road. He sees the man, crying, and asks, What's wrong?
The first man replies, I just saw my wife on a bicycle.
What's the hardest thing to do on a bicycle?
Ride a unicycle.
Two Nuns ride back to the convent.
They were riding bicycles and one nun says to the other
"I know a short cut, follow me"
The other one says
"Ive never come this way before"
The first nun looks at her and smiles
"Oh yeah girl, that's the cobblestone. "
Two Nuns On Bikes
Two nuns, Maria and Angelica, are riding their bicycles on their way to work at the Vatican. They're running late, so Maria says, "I know a shortcut. Let's go down this alley." They turn right onto the alley, which soon becomes a narrow cobblestone road, with many twists and turns. Angelica remarks, "wow, I never came this way before." Maria tells her, "it's the cobblestones."
Two brothers, aged 9 and 5, try to buy tampons at a pharmacy.
They take them to the counter and the pharmacist says, Are these for you?
The older brother says, They aren't for me, they're for my brother.
Very confused the pharmacist asks, But, why does your brother need them? , and the older brother says, Well, the lady on the TV said if you use these you can swim and ride a bicycle and he can't do either of those things.
Twice a week, a Belgian riding a bicycle crossed the German border...
And he always carried a suitcase filled with sand.
Each time, the customs officials searched his suitcase for contraband, but always in vain.
Sometimes, they even emptied all the sand out, expecting to find some i**... item.
They racked their brains but never found anything.
It was many years later, long after the Belgian had vanished from the scene that they learned the truth.
He had been smuggling bicycles.
A group of Nuns were enjoying their lunch break...
A group of Nuns were enjoying their lunch break, riding their bicycles around the gardens at their convent.
"I told you 5 minutes ago that lunchtime was over Sisters!" yelled the Sister in charge.
"If you don't stop immediately I'll put the seats back on!"
How do you tell if someone is riding a bicycle for fitness or because they have a DUI?
The cigarette.
An engineer sees a fellow engineer on a new bike...
An engineer was walking along one day when another engineer friend of his rides up on a brand new bicycle.
"That is an awesome bike. Where did you get it?" He asks.
"Well," his friend replied "It was the strangest thing. I was sitting on a bench in the park, minding my own business when a beautiful woman rode up, got off the bike and then took all of her clothes off right in front of me! Then she said 'Take what you want!'"
The first engineer replied "Good choice! Her clothes probably wouldn't have fit you!"
two nuns at the vatican...
so these two nuns are riding a bicycle built for two on their daily trip around the vatican... so one day, sister mary decides to take a different route... sister katherine says "why, ive never come this way" to which sister mary relpies "it's the cobblestones"...
Two nuns ride their bicycles to the monastery.
The older nun suggested a detour through an old little street.
After they arrived, the second nun exclaimed: "I never came this way!"
The first one smiles and explains: "It's the cobblestones."
[Joke] What do you call a g**... her period who is riding a bicycle through the ghetto?
"Little red ride in hood"
My bright and airy sunroom is a great place for the Peloton bike.
I leave the arcadia door ajar so I feel like I’m actually riding a bicycle...outside!
Having s**... was like riding a bicycle for the first time...
My dad was there holding me from the back.
An Elephant Never Forgets 9/11
An Elephant never forgets how to ride a bicycle
What do m**...'s and tweekers have in common?
Both ride bicycles and bust mission.
What does a tweaker and a Jehovah's Witness have in common?
Both ride bicycles and are on a mission.
my 12 year old sister asked me to ride her
bicycle with her to the grocery store
What do you call two colored folk riding a bicycle?
Organized crime!
What elephant and a canary and in common?
They both can't ride bicycles.
Jewish joke from the 1970s: What's the fastest thing on earth?
An Arab riding a bicycle down Collins Avenue in Miami Beach.
Two nuns are riding bicycles down a bumpy road...
One turns to the other and say "I never came this way before".
What do you call a tree riding a bicycle made out of old pop cans?
Tree-cycling
My grandfather told me this In German so it might already be posted somewhere here, oh and it's translated
Two guys are riding bicycles down the street.
One of the bikes fenders was loose and was making a loud noise.
So the first guy said to the second guy
"Hey your fender is too loud"
The second guy says "what?"
The first guy speaks louder
"your fender is too loud"
The second guy replies "what?"
The first guy yells
"YOUR FENDER IS TOO LOUD"
The second guy yells back
"I CANT HEAR YOU MY FENDER IS TOO LOUD!"
Why'd the couple ride their bicycle n**... whenever the sun was shining?
To tan dem.
Two Nuns riding home from church on a tandem bicycle...
Suddenly the nun in front steers the bike down a very bumpy road - not their normal rout.
Curious, the nun on the back asks, "Have you come this way before, sister?"
Nun in front replies, "Yes... I think it's the *cobblestones!"*
My wife told me I was being lazy and should take my bicycle out for a ride...
So I put it on the rack on the back of my car and drove it around the neighborhood a few times.
An engineer is walking down the road...
An engineer (E1) is walking down the road and he sees his fellow engineer friend (E2) coming towards him on a bicycle.
E1: Hey man, nice bike, I didn't know you rode a bike, is it new?
E2: Crazy story how I got this bike. I was walking down the road this morning minding my business, when a beautiful woman rides up to me on this bike. She threw the bike down, took off all her clothes, laid down on the grass and said to me, "take what you want".
E1: Hmm... you made a good decision, the clothes probably wouldn't have fit you.
There is a guy who wakes up at 5 am and rides a bicycle until noon every weekend
There is a guy who wakes up at 5 am and rides a bicycle until noon every weekend. He does this no matter what - regardless of rain, snow, or thunder.
One day, however, the conditions are just too bad for him to ride his bike. There is a thick hail, brutal winds, and very slippery ice patches. Finally, after an hour, he decides to go home.
He lies down next to his wife, who is asleep and says: "The weather is terrible outside."
Half awake the wife replies: "And to think that my idiot husband is outside riding his bicycle."
(my 80 y old grandpa's joke)
Two Nuns
Two nuns are riding their bicycles through Rome on their way to the Vatican. This time, though, they are taking a different route instead of their usual route.
I've never come this way, one nun says to the other.
It's the cobblestones, says the other nun.
Business coach: remember, career ladder is like driving a bicycle.
If it's hard, then u go up.
One of the managers to himself: then whole my life i was riding without a saddle and off road.
I can't decide what to buy for my farm?
Farmer Giles: I can't decide whether to buy a cow or a bicycle for my farm?
Farmer Miles: You'd look pretty silly riding a cow.
Farmer Giles: I'd look even sillier milking a bicycle!
A farmer walked into a hardware store
and while purchasing some tools was asked by the proprietor if he would like to buy a bicycle.
You won't have to keep a bicycle fed, said the storekeep, and you can ride around your farm on it. They're getting cheaper now, and I can let you have one for 35 dollars.
I'd rather put the 35 dollars into a cow, said the farmer.
Well, said the hardware man sarcastically, you'd look almighty foolish riding around your farm on a cow, now, wouldn't you?
No more foolish, I guess, said the farmer, than I would milking a bicycle.
Two nuns are riding bicycles back to the convent.
The first nun says "I've never come this way before." The second nun replies, "I know... its the cobblestones."
Two nuns were riding a bicycle having the time of their lives.
At the end of the day, one nun says to the other: "It's getting late, I need to put the seat back on."
A nerd was walking down the sidewalk one day when his friend--another nerd--rode up on an incredible shiny new bright red bicycle.....
The first nerd was stunned by his friend's sweet ride and asked,
"WOW! Where did you get such a nice bike?"
The second nerd replied,
"Well, yesterday I was walking home,
minding my own business
when a beautiful woman rode up to me on this bike.
She threw the bike to the ground,
took off all her clothes and said, '
Take what you want!'"
The second nerd nodded approvingly,
"Good choice..... The clothes probably wouldn't have fit."
What's worse than being the village bicycle?
Being the village bicycle that no one wants to ride.
A boy rides his bicycle
Watch I can ride without feet!
Now, watch I can ride without feet and hands!
Look now, I can ride wifout teef!
What does a catholic priest think when he sees a 12 year old boy on a bicycle ?
He should be great at riding.
whats the difference between a...
whats the difference between a man in a suit riding a bicycle and a man in gym clothes riding a unicycle?
Attire
Why did h**... always get stopped riding a bicycle?
He did the wrong Handsignal
What kind of cycle do bisexuals ride?
A Bicycle
(Hope this hasn't been done before if so link me and I'll delete this)
A m**... in South America
A m**... in South America teaches native indigenous tribesman to English language. They paddling on a boat on the Amazon River and the m**... teaches him: "This is a river. This is a forest. These are the trees. There are leaves on them. "
Down by the river they saw a couple making love. m**... blushes and tells to a guy in the boat: They are riding a bicycle.
Native takes bow and an arrow from boat and takes a shoot at guy who makes love to an woman.
m**... is horrified: What are you doing?!?
Native responds: He rides my bicycle.
A priest, a rabbi, and a hipster walk into a bar...
The hipster says "man, this set-up is soooo played-out. I'm not gonna ruin my cred by staying, so I'm outie 5000." He then gets on his fixed-gear bicycle and rides it home to his loft that he pays for with money from his trust fund. He reads Bukowski by tap light in his futon until he falls asleep. And he lived ironically ever after.
Striker, listen, and you listen close:
flying a plane is no different than riding a bicycle,
just a lot harder to put baseball cards in the spokes.
Rex Kramer / Airplane!
Two white guys and a black guy are in prison...
Two white guys and a black guy are in prison, discussing their crimes and sentences. The first white guy says, "I'm in here for five years. Attempted r**.... I'm lucky I didn't commit the r**..., I would've got double."
The second white guy says, "I'm in her for ten years. Attempted m**.... I'm lucky I didn't kill the guy, I would've got double."
The black guy speaks up. "I'm in here for twenty years. For riding my bicycle without lights. I'm lucky it was daytime..."