ridin Jokes

funny pick up lines and hilarious ridin puns

You're riding a horse full speed, a man on a giraffe at your side, and a ferocious lion in hot pursuit. What do you do?

Get your drunk ass off the carousel.

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As I was riding the train in to work this morning, my stomach started churning and I desperately needed to use the toilet. Unfortunately, the next stop wasn't for 10 minutes, so I just sat there and held it...

The woman sitting opposite looked at me in disgust and said, "Is that poop in your hand?!"

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You're riding a horse full speed..there's a giraffe beside you..and you're being chase by a lion..what do you do?

....get your drunk ass off the carousel.

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Riding with Uber earlier..

The driver said,

"I love my job, I am my own boss. Nobody tells me what to do..."

Then I said, "Turn Left.

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You're riding a horse, a giraffe is running next to you and a lion is chasing you. What do you do?

Get your drunk as off the carousel.

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What do you do if you're riding a horse, with a giraffe next to you, and a lion chasing it?

Get your stoned ass off the merry-go-round.

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You are riding a horse being chased by a lion and about to run into a giraffe. What do you do?

. . . Get your drunk ass off the carousel.

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What do you do when you are riding a horse, and you look to the left and see a running lion, and you look to the right and see a running giraffe?

What do you do when you are riding a horse, and you look to the left and see a running lion, and you look to the right and see a running giraffe?
**Get off the merry-go-round, you're drunk**

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What do you do?

You're riding your horse along a narrow road and to your right there's a steep cliff. There's another rider to your left threatening to run you off the edge. You try to speed up but there's another rider in front of you, and when you look behind you a third rider is closing in as well. You're stuck in a harrowing high speed chase and must figure out how to escape quickly before your pursuers run you off the steep cliff to your death. So, **what do you do?**

You get your drunk ass off the carousel you drunk piece of shit you're scaring the kids.

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Riding a horse can be difficult. You could always choose to ride a mule instead...

but that would be half-assed.

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So I'm riding on a plane.....

.....and the captain is talking to us on the loudspeaker about the weather and all of that stuff. He then proceeds to say, "You know what I could use? A blowjob and some coffee." without realizing the intercom is still turned on. The stewardess begins walking towards the cockpit to inform him that he left the intercom on, and I hear someone say, "Don't forget the coffee!"

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I was riding my motorcycle down a serpentine in Switzerland

When I entered a small forest in the valley a deer showed up in the middle of the road, and in spite of all of my maneuvering I crashed in to it and flew into a ditch going along the road and passed out. When I woke up and climbed up back to the road i saw a beautiful old cabriolet with a hot brunette sitting in it in a blouse. According to the size of her tits, I'm probably in Paradise I thought.

- Are you alright? It looks like you have a couple of bad scratches. I can get you to my place so I can clean and bandage them up.

- Oh thanks, I'm alright. And my wife will probably be against.

- I also have very good painkillers, I think you might want to have some.

After a few seconds of hesitating, I jumped into her car saying to myself my wife definitely will not like this and we took of. When we've got to her place, and she finished the bandaging, I immediately stood up and headed to the exit

- I'm very thankful, but I should leave now, otherwise my wife will kill me

- Don't be sow silly she said, you should stay for a little longer

When I turned around to say my finale goodbye, she was already half naked, exposing probably the best tits in the world !!!

- I would have liked to, but my wife will definitely kill me !

- What is wrong with you ? I mean, where is your wife right now so you are so scared of her ?!?

- I don't know, probably still in that ditch with my motorcycle

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I was riding in my friend's car today when I noticed he didn't have a brake pedal.

He said it only slowed him down.

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What do you do when you are riding on the back of a zebra, right next to a camel, and a lion won't stop chasing you?

Get off the carousel, dumb ass. You're drunk.

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Why does riding in an elevator make ghosts happy?

It lifts spirits

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Riding the Bus for the First Time is Like Losing Your Virginity to a Cheap Hooker.

You wait around to find a nice taxi, but none appear.And then all of a sudden, you see this giant non-appealing thing lumber towards you. You give up your hopes and pay then fee of 1.50 and enter the massive doors that, over the years have been modified to fit fairly large occupants. For the next 20 or so minutes,it's a very bumpy ride, stop and go. Then you realize there have been elderly, handicapped, both physically and mentally, spewing their bodily fluids everywhere. Then when you get were you needed to go, you immediately regret it. And then you never see the exact same bus again.

If this joke was terrible, it's because it was both original and my first, all let myself out.

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After riding my bike for three hours I discovered a new dinosaur

The Mega-sore-ass.

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Riding horses is fun and all, but...

...let's be on a steer.

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What do riding a bike and playing basketball have in common?

If you're not careful, you can pop a ball.

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What do you say to someone riding a stoned horse?

Get off your high horse.

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Riding you is like riding a plane

I'm just always waiting to get off

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You are riding a unicorn chasing a rainbow tiger and there is a flying lion behind you. What do you do?

Get off the carousal, you're drunk.

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Riding a moped is like banging a fat chick

They're both fun until your friends catch you

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Riding with a Blond

A guy was driving down the highway blond girlfriend when she said to him,
"I think those people in the car next to us are from another country".

"Why is that?" he said.

"Well, the kids are writing on the window and it says, ...stit ruoy su wohs".

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If you're riding a horse at full speed along side a giraffe and a lion is chasing you, what do you do?

Get your drunk ass off the merry-go-round.



Props to the radio station I heard this on today.

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Riding a motorcycle is like having sex without a condom.

It does feel great at the time, but if you make a mistake it's really really bad.

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What does riding a roller coaster have in common with breeding rabbits?

They are both hare raising.

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How do you tell if someone is riding a bicycle for fitness or because they have a DUI?

The cigarette.

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What do you do when you are riding a horse, and a cheetah and ostrich are chasing you?

You get your drunk ass off the carousel!

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Sometimes when I'm riding in an ΓΌber, I like to request another ΓΌber.

Instant car chase.

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So you're riding your horse at a constant speed...

On your right the ground drops off sharply, and on your left is a rhino keeping pace with you. You check behind you and see a kangaroo chasing you. You're filled with fear as you realize that you might be hurt. What do you do to get out of this dangerous situation?

Get your drunk ass off the merry go round.

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What do riding a scooter and having sex with a fat girl have in common?

Theyre both kinda fun but you don't want your friends to see you doing it.

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I was riding to Thanksgiving with my Father in Law and we saw a homeless person. My father in law said "Quick, throw him a piece of ham"

At least he wont be hamless.

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Riding a car...

A man, in *curve*, skids.

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I was riding through the town yesterday and everybody was complimenting my ass.

I feed him well and make sure his skin looks nice. His hooves have that nice deep colour.

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What are the most funny Ridin jokes of all time ?

Did you ever wanted to stand out with a good sense of humour joking with someone about Ridin? Well, here are the best Ridin dad jokes to laugh out loud. Crazy funny puns and Ridin pick up lines to share with friends.

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