Ridiculous Jokes
110 ridiculous jokes and hilarious ridiculous puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about ridiculous that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
Want to have a laugh? Check out this article for 40 of the most absurd, preposterous, and idiotic jokes to get the silliest of puns and giggles.
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Funniest Ridiculous Short Jokes
Short ridiculous jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The ridiculous humour may include short silly jokes also.
- Two Romans were in a bar having a conversation.. Roman 1: you won't believe how many women I've slept with
Roman 2: mmm?
Roman 1: don't be ridiculous, not that many - As an American, I see a lot of jokes here saying that America is the dumbest country. It's ridiculous and unfair.
Personally, I think Europe is the stupidest country. - This is ridiculous. It's July 6th and people are still setting off fireworks. One almost caught our christmas decoration on fire.
- Roman guy: You won't believe how many women I've slept with Second Roman: mmm?
Roman Guy: don't be ridiculous, not that many - Shark Tank *on shark Tank*
Sharks: what's your idea?
Me: ridiculously wide sunglasses
Shark 1: I'm out
Shark 2: I'm out as well
Hammerhead shark: tell me more - My girlfriend broke up with me because she said I referenced video games too much. That's such a ridiculous reason to Fallout 4.
- Why did the cookie go to the doctor? Because he felt crumby. - my 4 y.o. daughter
- Latvian Joke. What are one potato say other potato?
Premise ridiculous. Who have two potato? - I just got fired from my job in Museum They said they're not happy with my work here, which is ridiculous, i only worked here for 2 days and already sold 2 picassos.
- Sir you don't need to be tailgating me I'm already going 55mph in a 35mph zone And the lights on top of your car look ridiculous
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Ridiculous One Liners
Which ridiculous one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with ridiculous? I can suggest the ones about absurd and hilarious.
- I just slipped on a banana skin. I look ridiculous in it.
- I used to date a welsh girl with 32 D's. It was a ridiculously long name.
- I'll tell you what is bordering on the ridiculous... Canada.
- I found a spider in my shoes. He looked ridiculous, they're way too big for him.
- My wife didn't think I'd name our daughter something ridiculous, But I called her Bluff
- It's ridiculous that people actually celebrate pi day. It's completely irrational.
- My girlfriend recently got breast reduction surgery She looks flat out ridiculous.
- What did the zero say to the eight? Take that belt off, you look ridiculous.
- There were 10 in the bed & the little one said... "These Medicare cuts are ridiculous."
- What does iPhone Xr stand for? eXpensive and Ridiculous
- What is the most ridiculous and funniest investment scheme ever? A Punzi scheme.
- I know a store that sells tennis equipment at ridiculously high prices. What a racket!
- The word diputseromneve may look ridiculous
- I don't like being ridiculed for having a bad vocabulary. It makes me indigenous.
- A feminist told me to stop adjectifying women I told her to stop being ridiculous
Howlingly Hilarious Ridiculous Jokes for an Unforgettable Evening
What funny jokes about ridiculous you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean foolish jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make ridiculous pranks.
My brother just updated his status to "I love my girlfriend <3".
I always knew he liked them young, but that is f**... ridiculous.
In honor of Lent . . .
It was a young couple's wedding night and as the night wore on the bride grew more and more anxious to consumate their marriage. Finally she said, "Um, honey? It's getting late and aren't we going to - well - do it?" "I can't," said her husband, "it's Lent." "It's lent?!" she exclaimed. "That's ridiculous! To who and for how long?"
World hunger is getting ridiculous
There's more fruit in my shampoo than an African village
Latvian man goes to buy iPhone..
Premise ridiculous! iPhone cannot be use to farm potato.
Also, salesman die of malnourish.
My visit to the patent office
I went into a patent office and told the clerk how I had an idea for a folding bottle, it's called a fottle.
She said that it was ridiculous, so I told her about my idea for a folding carton, it's called a farton.
She said that too is a dumb idea. I said well then I am not even going to tell you about my idea for a folding bucket!
Collection of my favorite Latvian Jokes.
* Man is hungry. He steal bread to feed family. Get home, find all family have gone Siberia! More bread for me, man think. But bread have worm.
* Man car break down near house of farmer. Take shelter in barn. Find farmer daughter in barn. Oh! Hot stuff! But TOO LATE! Is already r**... by soldier.
* Latvian walk into bar with mule. Bartender say, Why so long face? Latvian say, I was thinking of my daughter. She has been lie with soldier for potato feed baby.
* Three Latvian are brag about sons. My son is soldier. He have r**... as many women as want, say first Latvian. Zo? second say, My son is farmer. He have all potato he want! Third Latvian wait long time, then say, My son is die at birth. For him, struggle is over. Wow! You are win us, say others. But all are feel sad.
* Q : What are one potato say other potato? A : Premise ridiculous. Who have two potato?
* Q : How many Latvian is take screw in light bulb? A : 25. One screw in, 24 ride bicycle generator for 1-hour shift. But time probably better spend search food.
* Q: What is happening if you cross Latvian and potato? A: This is cruel joke. please, no more.
Methylated Spirit
A scruffy homeless man walks into a DIY store.
"Bottle of methylated spirit please."
"Look mate, no offense but I wasn't born yesterday. I can't sell that to you when I know you're just gonna drink it."
"Hey, what are you implying? This is ridiculous, I'm using it for woodwork!"
"All right, all right..." says the shopkeeper, taking a bottle of the shelf.
"Oh, haven't you got a cold one?"
Harry is taking a stroll through the woods....
...when he finds a large hole in the ground. The hole seems ridiculously deep, so Harry takes a small rock and throws it down the hole. Then he listens for the sound of the rock hitting the ground below. He doesn't hear anything, so next he tries a larger rock. Still, no sound. He looks around for something larger, and he finds an old railroad tie. He lifts up the railroad tie and chucks it down the hole. Still no sound.
Then out of NOWHERE, Harry sees a goat charging at him full speed from behind. Harry dives out of the way, then watches as the goat charges strait down the hole.
Harry is sitting there, perplexed, when a farmer approaches Harry and asks
Farmer: "Hey son, you haven't seen a goat around here have you?"
Harry: "Actually, Yes I did! It was the strangest thing, a goat just charged me full speed! I was just able to get out of the way. THEN the goat ran strait down that hole over there" as Harry points to the hole.
Farmer: "That's impossible, I tied that goat to a railroad tie"
I complained to my psychiatrist that everyone hates me.
He said "Don't be ridiculous! Everyone hasn't met you yet"
Gambling Problem
When I go to casinos, the most ridiculous sign I see is the one that says: "If you have a gambling problem, call 1-800-GAMBLER."
I thought about it for a moment and dialed the number. When they answered I said, "I have an ace and a six. The dealer has a seven. What do I do?"
My kids are always accusing me of having a 'favourite kid'
Which is ridiculous as I don't like any of them.
-Danny Zuker
All anti-semites
Young Isaac knocks on his boss's door.
Boss: "come in!, yes Isaac what can i do for you?"
Isaac: "I can't work here anymore! I quit! Everyone who work here is anti-semite!"
Boss: "What? What are you talking about? I guess there might be one or two, but everyone? come on, it's ridiculous!"
Isaac " I am telling you! They are! I asked all of them one question, and they all gave me the same answer."
Boss: "But... what was that question?"
Isaac: " I asked waht would they think if we exterminate all the jews and all the hairdressers"
Boss: "Hairdressers? Why the hairdressers?"
Isaac: "See? You're all the same"
I got accused of date r**... once in college, but that's ridiculous.
It wasn't a date.
Usain Bolt goes to a golf course...
He turns up and walks into the clubhouse to get his membership and play a round.
The receptionist says 'Sorry Sir, we don't allow black people in this golf club.'
'That is ridiculous, its 2014 and you don't allow black people in your golf club?'
'Please don't make a scene Sir, there is another gold club 5 minutes down the road and they will let you in.'
'But I'm Usain Bolt!'
'OK then, 2 minutes.'
An Ole and Lena joke
Lena: "Der is trouble vit da car, sveetheart. It has vater in da carburetor."
Ole: "Vater in da carburetor? Dat is ridiculous."
Lena: "Ole, I tell you da car has vater in the carburetor."
Ole: "You don't even know vat a carburetor is. I'll check it out. Ver is da car?"
Lena: "In da lake."
TIL that India is installing 15000 CCTV cameras in Delhi for Obama's visit.
This is ridiculous.
Just because he's black doesn't mean he'll steal anything.... When will the world stop this Racist behaviour ?
They say Gay marriage will ruin the fabric of society...
...which is ridiculous, a gay man would never ruin fabric.
Would you say that the idea of a nun having s**... with a clown...
is v**... on the ridiculous?
My wife's jealousy is getting ridiculous.
The other day she opened the calander and wanted to know who May was.
The oldest man in the world is lying on his deathbed.
A reporter asks him how he managed to live to be so old.
The man replies, "I just don't argue with s**... people."
The reporter tells him, "That's ridiculous."
The old man replies with, "Yes, you're right."
When I was little I prayed to God for ridiculous amounts of money when I'm older
I think I should have chosen my words more carefully
Old one I've never seen on here
This joke was in a book I had as a young child, probably from the 70s or 80s. It's so ridiculous, I remember it to this day.
Q: How do you kill a blue elephant?
A: Shoot it with a blue elephant gun.
Q: How do you kill a white elephant?
A: Hold its nose until it turns blue and shoot it with a blue elephant gun.
I just ate a pizza covered in pepperoni and chillies.
To be honest, I looked pretty ridiculous.
TIL it is impossible to look at your nose while sticking out your tongue
without looking ridiculous.
The price of smartphones are getting way too ridiculous
If I fall and hear something crack, I'm hoping it's a bone
How many basement dwellers and deplorables does it take to change a lightbulb?
That's ridiculous I saw on CNN that Hillary has already changed the lightbulb Plus it's not dark and the light bulb isn't broken and anyway who told you it was broken Vladimir Putin? What are you sexist?
It's ridiculous that the pope has to go around surrounded by armed guards these days
I know he's a priest but he's not going to do anything out in public
Theres no point in tailgating me when I'm going 50 in a 35 zone
Also, those red flashing lights on your car look ridiculous
The amount of new jokes on this sub is ridiculous today.
Just wait 4 years and they will all be reposted.
My r**... cousin is looking for a girl into multiple partners. I told him that was ridiculously cliché...
I mean really. c**... wants a poly?
A reporter is interviewing a 110-year-old man
... And asks him his secret to longevity. "It's simple," the man replies, "I never argue with anyone, so I have no stress in my life."
The reporter laughs it off: "That's ridiculous. That can't possibly be the reason."
The man shrugs and says, "Yeah, you're probably right."
My friends seem to think I might have a drinking problem
That's ridiculous. I don't even remember last time when I was black out drunk.
My friend just wrote "I love my girlfriend <3" on his status
I know he likes them young, but that's just f**... ridiculous
A jew and a Chinese man are in an argument...
The jew says, "I hate your people for what you did at pearl harbour". The Chinese man says, what do you mean? That was the Japanese!". The jew replies, "Chinese, Japanese, Taiwanese, you're all the same. So the Chinese man says, "Well I hate your people for sinking the titanic". The jew says, "That's ridiculous; an iceberg sunk the titanic!". The Chinese man responds, "Iceberg, Goldberg, Silverberg, you're all the same".
Who would pay a ridiculous amount of money for a pair of average over-hyped headphones?
Beats me.
Have I ever told you guys about how I escaped from the Middle East?
Iran.
Oman the whole story is ridiculous.
I basically had to Qatar cross the border.
Just like Bon Jovi, I was basically Lebanon a prayer the whole time.
I know it doesn't sound like a true story, but I assure you Israel.
Honestly I could tell you more but it Kuwait.
A man is standing on the bow of the Titanic as it is sinking, holding a glass of whiskey.
He says: "I asked for ice, but this is ridiculous"
There once was a poet named Stan...
...whose limericks never would scan.
When told this was so,
He'd reply, "yes, I know,
But you see, the thing is, I seem to have gone and gotten myself into this really rather ridiculous habit recently of always trying to cram as many completely unnecessary additional syllables into the last line as I possibly can!"
Trouble with the car
Wife: "There's trouble with the car. It has water in the carburetor."
Husband: "Water in the carburetor? That's ridiculous."
Wife: "I tell you the car has water in the carburetor."
Husband: "You don't even know what a carburetor is. I"ll check it out. Where's the car?"
Wife: "In the pool."
A guy says, "Obstetricians named Juan can't seem to learn the whole alphabet."
His friend replies, "Why??"
"I dunno. For some reason they always get stuck at B."
"That's ridiculous. O.B. Juan can know 'B'"
I'll show my self out.
What's worse than a fat guy with a ridiculous haircut who's brainwashed his supporters into viewing him as a god whilst having his finger on the button for nuclear warfare?...
Two fat guys with ridiculous haircuts who've brainwashed their supporters into viewing them as gods whilst having their fingers on the b**... for nuclear warfare!
[Scariest of all is that it's true :( ]
The comedy industry is ridiculously sexist.
Zach Galifinakis can tell a joke to a full theatre and the audience would love it. If Amy Schumer told the same joke a week later in the same theatre to the same audience, she'd be accused of stealing material
Saudi men are still not letting their wives drive
I mean, that's ridiculous. You can't let an 8 year old drive!
I went to the theme park the other day; they were giving out free c**...!
The lines were ridiculous.
People always jump to ridiculous conclusions.
Like thinking, for some reason, that my dads are gay.
As I knelt down in the shoe shop with a pair of shoes in front of this s**... blonde, I couldn't resist a quick glance up her short skirt...
"Hey pervy!" she said. "I bet the only reason you work here is to look up girls' skirts, isn't it?!"
"That's absolutely ridiculous!" I said. "I don't even work here!"
The first Jewish President of the United States is elected.
The night before the inauguration he calls his mother.
"Mom, I'd love for you to come visit and stay with me during the inauguration and for a few days."
"Oh I don't know, airfare is so expensive these days."
"Mom, I'll fly you out on Air Force One!"
"Oh, but you know, cab fare is ridiculous."
"Mom, the Presidential motorcade will drive you here."
"But accommodations, especially during the inau---"
"MOM!! I'll put you in the Lincoln bedroom itself!!"
She reluctantly agrees, hangs up and starts talking to her friend.
"Who was that?"
"My son."
*gasp* "The doctor??"
"No, the other one."
I can't stand everyone ridiculing me for being a cannibal...
I just get so fed up with people.
A Lot Of People Are Saying Steve Jobs Would Make A Better President than Trump.
But that's just ridiculous, it's like comparing apples and oranges.
The word "diputseromneve" may look ridiculous,
but backwards it's even more s**...
Two guys are playing golf...
...behind two women, and the women are taking forever.
One of the guys says, "This is getting ridiculous, I'm going to ask if we can play through."
He comes back a minute later, and says, "I can't talk to them, that's my wife and my girlfriend."
So the other guy says he'll see what he can do.
He comes back and says, "Small world."
A wife calls her husband in a panic...
Wife: "There's water in the carburetor!"
Husband: "The carburetor? That's ridiculous!"
Wife: "I'm telling you, the carburetor is completely flooded, there's water everywhere!"
Husband: "You don't even know what a carburetor is. Let me come take a look. Where's the car?"
Wife: "In the pool"
The police came to my house after getting complaints about my dogs chasing people on bikes.
I told them that's ridiculous. My dogs can't ride bikes.
Did you hear about the Women with 12 b**...?
Sounds ridiculous, Dozen t**...?
All my friends told me I have no self-awareness
Ridiculous, if I had no self-awareness I think I'd know.
A guy goes to a barbershop
The barber claims to have a new machine that can cut everyone's hair equally well.
But that's ridiculous! Says the customer, not everyone has the same size and shaped head!
The barber responds, They do afterward
Two old men sitting on a park bench discussing their junk
First one says, I'll bet you mine is longer soft than yours is hard.
Second one says, That's ridiculous. I've known you my whole life. Never have you, _or your wife_, bragged of such a thing.
Fifty bucks says mine is longer soft than yours is hard.
You're on. How long is yours soft?
Seventeen years.
After days of getting the cold shoulder from his wife, Larry finally confronted her.
"Admit it," he said. "The only reason you married me is because my grandfather left me a million dollars."
"Don't be ridiculous!" she shot back. "I don't care who left the money with you."
A police officer told me my dog was chasing people on bikes.
That's ridiculous! My dog doesn't even own a bike!
This is getting ridiculous..
Only two days into October and now even COVID is pumpkin spiced.
My girlfriend wants to break up with me because she says I play video games too much
What a ridiculous reason to Fallout 4
I hate IKEA but whenever I go, I can't leave without buying ridiculous amounts of things for my house.
I'm suffering from Stock Home Syndrome.
I know people take the age gap seriously but it's getting ridiculous
For example as a twenty-two year old I'll sometimes bring twenty-one year olds to the bar with me and it's nothing but mean and insensitive comments like they're too young to drink, and where'd you find 20 of them?
When I go to casinos, the most...
When I go to casinos, the most ridiculous sign I see is the one that says: "If you have a gambling problem, call 1-800-GAMBLER."
I thought about it for a moment and dialed the number. When they answered I said, "I have an ace and a six. The dealer has a seven. What do I do?"
One farmer asks another
\- "Are your cows smokers?"
\- "No, that would be ridiculous!"
\- "Then your barn is on fire."
Two black guys are in prison in the USA
\- How long are you in for?
\- 20 years
\- What did you do?
\- Nothing.
\- That's ridiculous, usually nothing only gets you 10 years.
I was taking the p**... out of a bloke with a ridiculous wig on today.
He had the last laugh though. Sentenced me to 6 months.
Jewish s**... is asking his Rabbi
Rabbi, is it alright if I smoke during study of Torah?
Rabbi: Absolutely not, out of question. Why would you even ask such ridiculous thing?
The Jewish s**... goes away ashamed, but since he is a pious addict he comes back later and asks Rabbi again.
Rabbi, is it alright if I study the Torah while I smoke?
Rabbi: But of course, of course!
How is a joke like an animal?
When you dissect it, it dies.
Get it? Because just like when you take apart an animal to see how it works, it obviously can't be alive anymore, by the same logic, picking apart the inner workings of a joke by over-explaining the punchline is going to kill the humorous spirit it carries; it would be ridiculous to expect a cat with its stomach contents spread out across a table to get up and catch a rat, and it would be similarly unfathomable to expect a joke with its punchline spelled out over a dozen lines of text to still produce a guffaw. How anyone...
A group of tourists in Africa where enjoying a guided tour….
A group of tourists in Africa were enjoying a tour of the bush observing the wild life. The guide says to everyone , Don't be surprised if you see an elephant wearing sunglasses.
One of the tourists asks-
why would an elephant be wearing sunglasses?
The guide replies- "Well, they do this to so they can go unnoticed at the beach."
The tourist then said- That's ridiculous!! My hotel is right on the beach and I've never seen an elephant."
The guide replies-
"I guess it works."
