Ridiculous Jokes
109 ridiculous jokes and hilarious ridiculous puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about ridiculous that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
Want to have a laugh? Check out this article for 40 of the most absurd, preposterous, and idiotic jokes to get the silliest of puns and giggles.
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Funniest Ridiculous Short Jokes
Short ridiculous jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The ridiculous humour may include short silly jokes also.
- This is ridiculous. It's July 6th and people are still setting off fireworks. One almost caught our christmas decoration on fire.
- Shark Tank *on shark Tank*
Sharks: what's your idea?
Me: ridiculously wide sunglasses
Shark 1: I'm out
Shark 2: I'm out as well
Hammerhead shark: tell me more - My girlfriend broke up with me because she said I referenced video games too much. That's such a ridiculous reason to Fallout 4.
- Why did the cookie go to the doctor? Because he felt crumby. - my 4 y.o. daughter
- Latvian Joke. What are one potato say other potato?
Premise ridiculous. Who have two potato? - I just got fired from my job in Museum They said they're not happy with my work here, which is ridiculous, i only worked here for 2 days and already sold 2 picassos.
- Sir you don't need to be tailgating me I'm already going 55mph in a 35mph zone And the lights on top of your car look ridiculous
- A man is standing on the bow of the Titanic as it is sinking, holding a glass of whiskey. He says: "I asked for ice, but this is ridiculous"
- Latvian man goes to buy iPhone.. Premise ridiculous! iPhone cannot be use to farm potato.
Also, salesman die of malnourish. - I can't stand everyone ridiculing me for being a cannibal... I just get so fed up with people.
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Ridiculous One Liners
Which ridiculous one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with ridiculous? I can suggest the ones about absurd and hilarious.
- I just slipped on a banana skin. I look ridiculous in it.
- I found a spider in my shoes. He looked ridiculous, they're way too big for him.
- There were 10 in the bed & the little one said... "These Medicare cuts are ridiculous."
- What does iPhone Xr stand for? eXpensive and Ridiculous
- What is the most ridiculous and funniest investment scheme ever? A Punzi scheme.
- I know a store that sells tennis equipment at ridiculously high prices. What a racket!
- The word diputseromneve may look ridiculous
- I don't like being ridiculed for having a bad vocabulary. It makes me indigenous.
- A feminist told me to stop adjectifying women I told her to stop being ridiculous
- What is the most ridiculous medical condition? Radiculopathy
- I used to go out with a Welsh girl that had 36DD's. It was a ridiculously long name
- I had a dream that I was ridiculously light and was floating everywhere. I was like 0mg.
- What is by far, the most ridiculous rock? Obsurdian.
- What do you call a discount store in China Ri-dic-u-lous
- Why does an elephant have 4 Feet? Because it would look ridiculous with 8 inches.
Howlingly Hilarious Ridiculous Jokes for an Unforgettable Evening
What funny jokes about ridiculous you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean foolish jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make ridiculous pranks.
In honor of Lent . . .
It was a young couple's wedding night and as the night wore on the bride grew more and more anxious to consumate their marriage. Finally she said, "Um, honey? It's getting late and aren't we going to - well - do it?" "I can't," said her husband, "it's Lent." "It's lent?!" she exclaimed. "That's ridiculous! To who and for how long?"
World hunger is getting ridiculous
There's more fruit in my shampoo than an African village
My visit to the patent office
I went into a patent office and told the clerk how I had an idea for a folding bottle, it's called a fottle.
She said that it was ridiculous, so I told her about my idea for a folding carton, it's called a farton.
She said that too is a dumb idea. I said well then I am not even going to tell you about my idea for a folding bucket!
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Collection of my favorite Latvian Jokes.
* Man is hungry. He steal bread to feed family. Get home, find all family have gone Siberia! More bread for me, man think. But bread have worm.
* Man car break down near house of farmer. Take shelter in barn. Find farmer daughter in barn. Oh! Hot stuff! But TOO LATE! Is already r**... by soldier.
* Latvian walk into bar with mule. Bartender say, Why so long face? Latvian say, I was thinking of my daughter. She has been lie with soldier for potato feed baby.
* Three Latvian are brag about sons. My son is soldier. He have r**... as many women as want, say first Latvian. Zo? second say, My son is farmer. He have all potato he want! Third Latvian wait long time, then say, My son is die at birth. For him, struggle is over. Wow! You are win us, say others. But all are feel sad.
* Q : What are one potato say other potato? A : Premise ridiculous. Who have two potato?
* Q : How many Latvian is take screw in light bulb? A : 25. One screw in, 24 ride bicycle generator for 1-hour shift. But time probably better spend search food.
* Q: What is happening if you cross Latvian and potato? A: This is cruel joke. please, no more.
Methylated Spirit
A scruffy homeless man walks into a DIY store.
"Bottle of methylated spirit please."
"Look mate, no offense but I wasn't born yesterday. I can't sell that to you when I know you're just gonna drink it."
"Hey, what are you implying? This is ridiculous, I'm using it for woodwork!"
"All right, all right..." says the shopkeeper, taking a bottle of the shelf.
"Oh, haven't you got a cold one?"
Harry is taking a stroll through the woods....
...when he finds a large hole in the ground. The hole seems ridiculously deep, so Harry takes a small rock and throws it down the hole. Then he listens for the sound of the rock hitting the ground below. He doesn't hear anything, so next he tries a larger rock. Still, no sound. He looks around for something larger, and he finds an old railroad tie. He lifts up the railroad tie and chucks it down the hole. Still no sound.
Then out of NOWHERE, Harry sees a goat charging at him full speed from behind. Harry dives out of the way, then watches as the goat charges strait down the hole.
Harry is sitting there, perplexed, when a farmer approaches Harry and asks
Farmer: "Hey son, you haven't seen a goat around here have you?"
Harry: "Actually, Yes I did! It was the strangest thing, a goat just charged me full speed! I was just able to get out of the way. THEN the goat ran strait down that hole over there" as Harry points to the hole.
Farmer: "That's impossible, I tied that goat to a railroad tie"
I complained to my psychiatrist that everyone hates me.
He said "Don't be ridiculous! Everyone hasn't met you yet"
Gambling Problem
When I go to casinos, the most ridiculous sign I see is the one that says: "If you have a gambling problem, call 1-800-GAMBLER."
I thought about it for a moment and dialed the number. When they answered I said, "I have an ace and a six. The dealer has a seven. What do I do?"
My kids are always accusing me of having a 'favourite kid'
Which is ridiculous as I don't like any of them.
-Danny Zuker
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
I got accused of date r**... once in college, but that's ridiculous.
It wasn't a date.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Usain Bolt goes to a golf course...
He turns up and walks into the clubhouse to get his membership and play a round.
The receptionist says 'Sorry Sir, we don't allow black people in this golf club.'
'That is ridiculous, its 2014 and you don't allow black people in your golf club?'
'Please don't make a scene Sir, there is another gold club 5 minutes down the road and they will let you in.'
'But I'm Usain Bolt!'
'OK then, 2 minutes.'
An Ole and Lena joke
Lena: "Der is trouble vit da car, sveetheart. It has vater in da carburetor."
Ole: "Vater in da carburetor? Dat is ridiculous."
Lena: "Ole, I tell you da car has vater in the carburetor."
Ole: "You don't even know vat a carburetor is. I'll check it out. Ver is da car?"
Lena: "In da lake."
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
What's the difference between a blonde and a community college
Well, they are both pretty easy to get into, but I don't have 3 community colleges under my basement. That would be ridiculous.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Would you say that the idea of a nun having s**... with a clown...
is v**... on the ridiculous?
My wife's jealousy is getting ridiculous.
The other day she opened the calander and wanted to know who May was.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
I'll tell you what is bordering on the ridiculous...
Canada.
When I was little I prayed to God for ridiculous amounts of money when I'm older
I think I should have chosen my words more carefully
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This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Old one I've never seen on here
This joke was in a book I had as a young child, probably from the 70s or 80s. It's so ridiculous, I remember it to this day.
Q: How do you kill a blue elephant?
A: Shoot it with a blue elephant gun.
Q: How do you kill a white elephant?
A: Hold its nose until it turns blue and shoot it with a blue elephant gun.
I just ate a pizza covered in pepperoni and chillies.
To be honest, I looked pretty ridiculous.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
TIL it is impossible to look at your nose while sticking out your tongue
without looking ridiculous.
The price of smartphones are getting way too ridiculous
If I fall and hear something crack, I'm hoping it's a bone
It's ridiculous that the pope has to go around surrounded by armed guards these days
I know he's a priest but he's not going to do anything out in public
The amount of new jokes on this sub is ridiculous today.
Just wait 4 years and they will all be reposted.
I phoned a local restaurant.
I said, "Hello, can I make a booking for tonight?"
They said, "I'm sorry, we haven't got any tables."
"That's ridiculous," I said. "How do you serve the food?"
My friends seem to think I might have a drinking problem
That's ridiculous. I don't even remember last time when I was black out drunk.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
My friend just wrote "I love my girlfriend <3" on his status
I know he likes them young, but that's just f**... ridiculous
Who would pay a ridiculous amount of money for a pair of average over-hyped headphones?
Beats me.
Have I ever told you guys about how I escaped from the Middle East?
Iran.
Oman the whole story is ridiculous.
I basically had to Qatar cross the border.
Just like Bon Jovi, I was basically Lebanon a prayer the whole time.
I know it doesn't sound like a true story, but I assure you Israel.
Honestly I could tell you more but it Kuwait.
There once was a poet named Stan...
...whose limericks never would scan.
When told this was so,
He'd reply, "yes, I know,
But you see, the thing is, I seem to have gone and gotten myself into this really rather ridiculous habit recently of always trying to cram as many completely unnecessary additional syllables into the last line as I possibly can!"
What is often ridiculed in public, yet everyone does it when they are alone?
Talk to themselves.
Trouble with the car
Wife: "There's trouble with the car. It has water in the carburetor."
Husband: "Water in the carburetor? That's ridiculous."
Wife: "I tell you the car has water in the carburetor."
Husband: "You don't even know what a carburetor is. I"ll check it out. Where's the car?"
Wife: "In the pool."
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A guy says, "Obstetricians named Juan can't seem to learn the whole alphabet."
His friend replies, "Why??"
"I dunno. For some reason they always get stuck at B."
"That's ridiculous. O.B. Juan can know 'B'"
I'll show my self out.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
What's worse than a fat guy with a ridiculous haircut who's brainwashed his supporters into viewing him as a god whilst having his finger on the button for nuclear warfare?...
Two fat guys with ridiculous haircuts who've brainwashed their supporters into viewing them as gods whilst having their fingers on the b**... for nuclear warfare!
[Scariest of all is that it's true :( ]
The comedy industry is ridiculously sexist.
Zach Galifinakis can tell a joke to a full theatre and the audience would love it. If Amy Schumer told the same joke a week later in the same theatre to the same audience, she'd be accused of stealing material
Saudi men are still not letting their wives drive
I mean, that's ridiculous. You can't let an 8 year old drive!
Adults used to tell me that if I went into the inner city, I could get robbed by a drug dealer...
I finally understand now, $5 for a cup of coffee is ridiculous
My uncle just updated his profile to "I love my girlfriend <3"
I knew he liked them young but that's just straight-up ridiculous
I was tailgated going 15 over
I was going 15 over the limit in the fast lane and being tailgated so I moved to the slow lane. The car behind continued to stay on my bumper. I couldn't shake him and was becoming very annoyed.
He looked so ridiculous with his flashing lights and his annoying siren.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
I went to the theme park the other day; they were giving out free c**...!
The lines were ridiculous.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
People always jump to ridiculous conclusions.
Like thinking, for some reason, that my dads are gay.
So my German neighbour got a Samoyed...
...and she asked me for suggestions about what she should name him. I suggested her the name "Cloud".
Now everytime that dog does something ridiculous I hear a high pitched yell : "Cloud Nein!!"
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
As I knelt down in the shoe shop with a pair of shoes in front of this s**... blonde, I couldn't resist a quick glance up her short skirt...
"Hey pervy!" she said. "I bet the only reason you work here is to look up girls' skirts, isn't it?!"
"That's absolutely ridiculous!" I said. "I don't even work here!"
The first Jewish President of the United States is elected.
The night before the inauguration he calls his mother.
"Mom, I'd love for you to come visit and stay with me during the inauguration and for a few days."
"Oh I don't know, airfare is so expensive these days."
"Mom, I'll fly you out on Air Force One!"
"Oh, but you know, cab fare is ridiculous."
"Mom, the Presidential motorcade will drive you here."
"But accommodations, especially during the inau---"
"MOM!! I'll put you in the Lincoln bedroom itself!!"
She reluctantly agrees, hangs up and starts talking to her friend.
"Who was that?"
"My son."
*gasp* "The doctor??"
"No, the other one."
It's ridiculous that Pornhub has a share button for Google+.
I mean, why would I ever let anyone know I have a Google+ account.
Three women were at a shrink's office with their kids
The shrink told the first woman, You love food so you named your child Candy. He told the second, You love money so you named your child Penny. The third woman told her son, This is ridiculous. Let's get out of here, Peter.
I broke up with my first girlfriend because she didn't believe in me.
Which was ridiculous, because she was the imaginary one.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
My girlfriend recently got breast reduction surgery
She looks flat out ridiculous.
This is ridiculous!
I just saw a guy put his waterbottle in the Pringles holder on the treadmill next to me!
What a waste of space.
A little girl came up to me today and said she was having a midlife crisis.
I chuckled and said "Don't be silly! How old are you?"
She said "6"
I laughed and said, "Then how are you going through a midlife crisis if you are only 6?"
She said "Well my mom is antivaxx, so I'm unvaccinated."
"Don't be ridiculous!" I said. "A midlife crisis means you're in the middle of your lifespan right now, while right now you'll probably be dead in a week."
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
"You're so childish!" screamed the wife. "Why do you always have to use that s**... walkie talkie with your s**... friends? This is ridiculous! This relationship is over!"
I shouted back, "This relationship is what?! Over!"
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Did you hear about the Women with 12 b**...?
Sounds ridiculous, Dozen t**...?
All my friends told me I have no self-awareness
Ridiculous, if I had no self-awareness I think I'd know.
A guy goes to a barbershop
The barber claims to have a new machine that can cut everyone's hair equally well.
But that's ridiculous! Says the customer, not everyone has the same size and shaped head!
The barber responds, They do afterward
A local beekeeper was selling his bees for 5 dollars each.
"5 dollars for a single bee?! That's ridiculous," I complained.
"Well, if you don't like the price, you can select from that hive over there, those are freebies."
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Two old men sitting on a park bench discussing their junk
First one says, I'll bet you mine is longer soft than yours is hard.
Second one says, That's ridiculous. I've known you my whole life. Never have you, _or your wife_, bragged of such a thing.
Fifty bucks says mine is longer soft than yours is hard.
You're on. How long is yours soft?
Seventeen years.
After days of getting the cold shoulder from his wife, Larry finally confronted her.
"Admit it," he said. "The only reason you married me is because my grandfather left me a million dollars."
"Don't be ridiculous!" she shot back. "I don't care who left the money with you."
Apparently the police have been going to a load of house parties as lockdown rules are getting implemented.
Ridiculous, one rule for us and another for them.
This is getting ridiculous..
Only two days into October and now even COVID is pumpkin spiced.
I hate IKEA but whenever I go, I can't leave without buying ridiculous amounts of things for my house.
I'm suffering from Stock Home Syndrome.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
I know people take the age gap seriously but it's getting ridiculous
For example as a twenty-two year old I'll sometimes bring twenty-one year olds to the bar with me and it's nothing but mean and insensitive comments like they're too young to drink, and where'd you find 20 of them?
When I go to casinos, the most...
When I go to casinos, the most ridiculous sign I see is the one that says: "If you have a gambling problem, call 1-800-GAMBLER."
I thought about it for a moment and dialed the number. When they answered I said, "I have an ace and a six. The dealer has a seven. What do I do?"
One farmer asks another
\- "Are your cows smokers?"
\- "No, that would be ridiculous!"
\- "Then your barn is on fire."
Two black guys are in prison in the USA
\- How long are you in for?
\- 20 years
\- What did you do?
\- Nothing.
\- That's ridiculous, usually nothing only gets you 10 years.
A teacher asks her class: "How long can a human being survive without sleeping?"
Mary on the first row responds: "24h".
Peter on the second row responds: "48h".
Then the teacher sees John, daydreaming as usual, and asks him: "What do you think John?"
John goes, "I think... 3 weeks minus 15 minutes."
"Come on John", the teacher says, "Why it doesn't surprise me that you are the one giving me this ridiculous answer."
"Listen Miss Boomer", John replies, "Say what you want but yesterday evening I heard my dad say to my mom: today, we're going to bed 15 min earlier because it has been 3 weeks."
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
I was taking the p**... out of a bloke with a ridiculous wig on today.
He had the last laugh though. Sentenced me to 6 months.
First trip to the USA
My friend and I visited the USA. We landed at LAX and after an epoch, we cleared Homeland Security and got our luggage.
My friend immediately pulled out a pair of brown, furry, shoulder length gloves and pulled them on. I stared at him. He looked ridiculous - the gloves even had claws.
"What are you doing??" I asked incredulously.
""Exercising my freedom. Now I'm here, I have the right to Bear arms!"
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Jewish s**... is asking his Rabbi
Rabbi, is it alright if I smoke during study of Torah?
Rabbi: Absolutely not, out of question. Why would you even ask such ridiculous thing?
The Jewish s**... goes away ashamed, but since he is a pious addict he comes back later and asks Rabbi again.
Rabbi, is it alright if I study the Torah while I smoke?
Rabbi: But of course, of course!
My friends went to Transylvania to see if vampires really exist
That's ridiculous. I've lived there in a castle for 700 years and I've never seen one.
How is a joke like an animal?
When you dissect it, it dies.
Get it? Because just like when you take apart an animal to see how it works, it obviously can't be alive anymore, by the same logic, picking apart the inner workings of a joke by over-explaining the punchline is going to kill the humorous spirit it carries; it would be ridiculous to expect a cat with its stomach contents spread out across a table to get up and catch a rat, and it would be similarly unfathomable to expect a joke with its punchline spelled out over a dozen lines of text to still produce a guffaw. How anyone...
A group of tourists in Africa where enjoying a guided tour….
A group of tourists in Africa were enjoying a tour of the bush observing the wild life. The guide says to everyone , Don't be surprised if you see an elephant wearing sunglasses.
One of the tourists asks-
why would an elephant be wearing sunglasses?
The guide replies- "Well, they do this to so they can go unnoticed at the beach."
The tourist then said- That's ridiculous!! My hotel is right on the beach and I've never seen an elephant."
The guide replies-
"I guess it works."
There is no need to tailgate me when I'm doing 50 in a 35
And those flashing lights on top of your car look ridiculous!
Captain Kirk and Spock are chatting one day...
Kirk: " Spock you always remain so calm and even handed when talking with people who are obviously less intelligent than you. How do you do it? "
Spock: " Well Captain I simply agree with whatever they say."
Kirk: " What? That's absolutely ridiculous! "
Spock: " I completely agree Jim. "
....
