Ride Bike Jokes
141 ride bike jokes and hilarious ride bike puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about ride bike that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
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Funniest Ride Bike Short Jokes
Short ride bike jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The ride bike humour may include short riding bike jokes also.
- Two nuns went on a bike ride... ...and one says to the other, as they turn down a side street
"I've never come this way before!"
And the other replies
"yes! It's the cobblestones!" - My 9 year old just told me this one and I had to share. What's the hardest part about learning to ride a bike. The pavement.
- I saw a black guy riding a bike near my house yesterday I thought it was mine. So I checked the garage and it was still chained up, asking for food.
- Two nuns are riding down a street on bikes One says to the other "I've never come this way before."
The other smiles and says "neither have I. Must be the cobblestones." - So I got a phone call from the post office today... ...complaining that my dog is attacking a postman on a bike. But I told them "It can't be my dog... he doesn't even know how to ride a bike".
- My dog is obsessed with chasing people on bikes. I'm honestly just impressed he can ride a bike.
- I crashed my bike the other day and got two punctures. I don't think I can ride my bike again. I'll have to retire it.
- If you ever miss the Tour de France, just go to Amsterdam. It's basically the same thing: a bunch of people on drugs riding bikes.
- Two nuns went for a bike ride and ride down a cobble stone street One says I haven't come this way before.
The other says neither have I just hold on and enjoy it - Two nuns go out for a bike ride They wander through the old part of town.
One nun says, "I've never come this way before."
The other nun says, "It's the cobblestones."
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Ride Bike One Liners
Which ride bike one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with ride bike? I can suggest the ones about bike ride and riding bicycle.
- How many kids with ADD does it take to screw in a light bulb? Wanna go for a bike ride?
- How many adhd kids does it take to change a light bulb? LETS GO RIDE BIKES
- how many ADHD kids does it take to screw in a lightbulb? hey let's go ride our bikes
- Why is PTSD like riding a bike? You never forget
- What did the orphan kid say when he was riding his bike? Look hands, no mum..
- How many people with ADHD does it take to screw on a lightbulb? Let's ride bikes!
- What did the amputee say to his mom when he learned to ride a bike? Look ma, no hands!
- How many kids with ADHD does it take to change a lightbulb? Let's go ride our bikes!
- What do you call a serial killer that rides a bike? A Cyclepath
- How do flowers ride a bike? With its pedals
- My bike needs new brakes. I'm addicted to riding it though. I just can't stop.
- What kind of bike does hipster Jesus ride? A Cruci-fixie.
- What's the hardest part about riding a bike? The pavement.
- What do you call a long bike ride with a bunch of cheap wine? Le Tour de Franzia
- My friend rides a bike with a spike on the seat It's a vicious cycle.
Ride Bike Funny Jokes And Hilarious Puns.
What funny jokes about ride bike you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean street bike jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make ride bike pranks.
Two nuns go on a bike ride through town...
As they ride through an alley, the younger nun turns to the elder and says, "I've never come this way before!"
The elder nun replies, "That's because it's cobblestones, dear."
ba-dum CHING. My granny told me that one this weekend.
the case for the lost bicycle
A Methodist preacher and a Baptist preacher live in a small southern town. Every day, they pass each other on their bycycles as they ride to their respective churches. One day, the Methodist notices the Baptist walking.
He says "Brother, where is your bicycle?"
"My heart is heavy, for I fear that a member of my congregation has stolen it" replied the Baptist.
"That's horrible." Thinking for a moment, the Methodist has an idea. "I know how we might get your bike back. This Sunday, you should preach the ten commandments. When you get to thou shalt not steal, really bear down on it. Maybe the theif will feel guilty and return your bike."
"That's a great idea, I'll try it!"
Sure enough, the following Monday, the Methodist preacher sees the Baptist Preacher riding his bike.
"I see my plan worked" said the Methodist.
"Well, not exactly" replied the Baptist. "I did like you said, and gave a real fire and brimstone sermon on the ten commandments. However, when I got to thou shalt no commit adultery, I remembered where I left my bike."
Amsterdam is a lot like the Tour de France.
It's just a lot of people on drugs riding bikes.
Two nuns on a bike ride in Philadelphia
Two nuns are on a bide ride through Philadelphia, the first nun says to the second, "Make a right turn here, I know a short cut". After a few minutes the second nun says, "I've never come this way before". The first replies, "I know, it's the cobblestones"
Old Joke From Bosnia
A boy rides up to his friend on his bike, he says "Look at me I can ride my bike!"
The friend says "Mhmm"
The next day the boy rides up again
Boy "Look I can ride with out using my legs!"
friend "Mmmhm"
Again the boy rides up again later that day
Boy "Look I can ride with out my legs or arms!"
friend "Mmmhmm"
The next day the boy rides up again on his bike
the boy says "Look I can ride without my teeth!"
(Sorry for the bad grammar)
A man takes his dog to a vet...
A man takes his dog to a vet because it has too much hair in its ears and is having trouble hearing. The vet suggests using nair hair removal cream to remove the large portion of hair from its ears.
So the man goes to a pharmacy and asks for some nair hair removal cream. Then at the counter, the pharmacist says, "ok if this is for your legs, don't wear any tight pants for a few days".
The man says, "its not for my legs".
The pharmacist then says, "ok if it's for your underarms, don't wear any tight shirts for a few days".
The man says, "its not for my underarms". The pharmacist then asks, "what is it for then?"
"It's for my schnauzer. "
Then don't ride your bike for a few days.
Losing my virginity was a lot like riding a bike for the first time.
My dad was holding me from behind.
Two nuns were riding their bikes down a cobblestone street ...
... on their way to the church. One nun says to the other, "I've never come this way before." The other nun replied, "It's probably the cobblestones."
eye roller of a dog joke
Mrs Young was walking to the grocery store when her neighbor came up to her and said "Hello Debra, How's your dog? I saw her yesterday chasing an old man on a bike."
"Oh" said Mrs Young "That could NOT have been my dog"
"Oh, why not?" replied her neighbor "I'm pretty sure it was her"
"Well" stated Mrs. Young smiling "my dog doesn't ride a bike"
Engineers
Two engineering students are walking along and the first engineering student asks, "Hey where did you get the new bike?". The second engineering student replies, "It was the craziest day, there I am headed to class and all of a sudden this hot girl rides up to me with the bike. Then she throws the bike down, takes all her clothes off and says 'Take what you want!'". The first engineering student nods his head and says, "Smart choice, there's no way those clothes would've fit".
Two nuns riding through the garden of the convent...
They giggle, laugh and scream as they ride their bikes over the cobble stone paths. All of a sudden, the window of Mother Superior swings open. She shouts:" Girls! Keep it down, or I'm having the saddles re-installed!"
A nerd rides up to his friend on a new bike.
The friend asks "Wow! Where'd you get the cool bike?"
The guy replies "A beautiful blond woman rode up to me on it, then took off all her clothes, and said I could have anything I wanted!"
The friend says "Good call, dude! The clothes would never have fit!"
Two Nuns On Bikes
Two nuns, Maria and Angelica, are riding their bicycles on their way to work at the Vatican. They're running late, so Maria says, "I know a shortcut. Let's go down this alley." They turn right onto the alley, which soon becomes a narrow cobblestone road, with many twists and turns. Angelica remarks, "wow, I never came this way before." Maria tells her, "it's the cobblestones."
My Life s**......
...I'm 22 years old and the only job I've had so far was working in fast food. My co-worker hates me and has tried to kill me. Also I have no friends except a southern girl I like and my other friend who only hangs out with me because he is mental. I have to ride my bike everywhere because I can never get my drivers license. And the worst part is, I live in a pineapple.
The police knocked on my door the other night...
...and informed me that they were there to take my dog away. Apparently there had been complaints that he was chasing down and barking at my neighbors' son on his bike.
I happen to know, however, that my dog doesn't ride a bike.
Losing my virginity was a lot like learning to ride my bike
My dad was behind me the whole way.
Ranji is a 9yr old boy living in Namibia.
Can you spare just $2.00? Ranji is a 9yr old boy living in Namibia. He has only 1 leg, 1 arm and 1 eye. Each day he has to ride 7 miles to school along a narrow road on a rusty bike with bent wheels, no brakes and only 1 pedal. If you send us just $2, we will send you the video - its hilarious.
Two nuns are riding their bikes down a Paris street..
One looks to the other and says "You know, I've never come this way before." The second replies, "Must be the cobblestones."
Learning to ride a bike is like losing your virginity...
No matter how many years go by, you never forget the feeling of your dads hands on your shoulders as he pushes.
The cops came to my door to give me a ticket for a dog at large. They say he was chasing a kid on a bike.
I said, "that's not true, my dog can't ride a bike."
My first time having s**... was just like my first time riding a bike
My dad was holding me from behind.
Sister Mary and Sister Francis are riding their bikes from the vestibule to the rectory....
Sister Mary says to Sister Francis, "I've never came this way before!"
And Sister Francis says "It must be the cobble stone street!"
Two nuns were riding their bikes...
Two nuns were riding their bikes through Rome headed to the Vatican. One nun said to the other, "You know, sister, I don't think I've ever come this way before." The other nun said, "It's the cobblestones."
Losing your virginity is a lot like learning to ride a bike...
Dad is holding you from behind the whole time
What is the best part of Pokemon Go?
I can ride my bike indoors and professor oak can't do anything to stop me.
The other day I took a dump, then did some drugs, then went for a bike ride.
Then I saw an environmental poster that said "Reduce, Reuse, Recycle" - so I did it all over again.
Two young boys walked into a pharmacy one day, picked out a box of tampons and proceeded to the checkout counter...
The man at the counter asked the older boy, "Son, how old are you?"
"Eight." the boy replied.
The man continued, "Do you know how these are used?"
The boy replied, "Not exactly, but they aren't for me. They are for our brother, he's four. We saw on TV that if you use these, you would be able to swim and ride a bike. He cant do either one."
Why shouldn't you throw a rock at a Mexican riding a bike?
Because that might be your bike
A cop came to my house and told me my dogs were chasing people on bikes
that's ridiculous I said, my dogs don't ride bikes.
I saw a black guy riding a bike...
At first I thought it was mine, then I realized mine is at home, washing the dishes.
Little Peter came home riding a red girl's bike one day
...and his mother asks where he got the bike.
Peter explains that he went into the woods with Jennifer and that she had taken off her shirt and pants and told him to grab whatever he desired.
"But, why would I want a pair of girl's pants? So, I took the bike".
Policeman stops priest on the bike...
Policeman: Hello father. Your light isn't working. That will be 20$.
Priest: Don't worry mister, i'm not in danger. Jesus is always with me.
Policeman: Sorry father. Then the fine is 40$ because two persons are not allowed to ride a bike.
Two Engineers Run into Each Other
One of them is riding a shiny new bike.
Engineer 1: "Where'd you get that bike?"
Engineer 2: "Well, yesterday a beautiful woman rode up to me on this bike, took off all her clothes, and said I could have anything I wanted.
So, I took the bike."
Engineer 1: "That was smart... the clothes probably wouldn't have fit."
Vin Diesel was riding his bike at the speed of light when a man asked him for a lift.
Vin Diesel stopped for him to hop on and continued riding at the speed of light.
After a while the man asked.
Man: "So what's your name?"
Vin: "Cin Diesel"
Man: "Don't you mean Vin Diesel?"
Vin: "No it's Cin Diesel"
Man: "But why?"
Vin: "Because at the speed of light c=v"
What's the difference between a man in plain clothes riding a unicycle and a man in a tuxedo riding a bike?
Attire
losing my virginity was a lot like how I learned to ride a bike
My dad having a firm grip on my shoulders .
My grandfather told me this In German so it might already be posted somewhere here, oh and it's translated
Two guys are riding bicycles down the street.
One of the bikes fenders was loose and was making a loud noise.
So the first guy said to the second guy
"Hey your fender is too loud"
The second guy says "what?"
The first guy speaks louder
"your fender is too loud"
The second guy replies "what?"
The first guy yells
"YOUR FENDER IS TOO LOUD"
The second guy yells back
"I CANT HEAR YOU MY FENDER IS TOO LOUD!"
Girl about to jump of a bridge.....
A tough looking group of bikers were riding when they saw a girl about to jump off a bridge, so they stopped. The leader, a big burly man, gets off his bike and says, What are you doing?
I'm going to commit s**..., she says.
While he did not want to appear insensitive, he didn't want to miss an opportunity. He asked Well, before you jump, why don't you give me a b**...? So, she does and it was a long, deep and slow b**....
After she's finished, the biker says, Wow! That was the best b**... I have ever had. That's a real talent you are wasting. You could be famous. Why are you committing s**...?
My parents don't like me dressing up like a girl.....
I got complaints about my dog chasing people on bikes
I didnt know my dog could ride a bike
They say when confronted by a bear, the best thing to do is play dead, so when I came face to face with one in the woods the other day, I accidentally played dad instead...
Now it can ride a bike without training wheels...
I accidentally played dad instead of dead when I ran into a bear
Now he can ride a bike and has been through college.
I saw a black guy riding a bike down the street
I thought it was mine, so I checked my garage and it was still chained up, begging for food.
Just saw a kid riding a bike
Thought it was mine, I checked the garage and it's still there, locked up, safe and sound, begging for food.
Two Nuns riding home from church on a tandem bicycle...
Suddenly the nun in front steers the bike down a very bumpy road - not their normal rout.
Curious, the nun on the back asks, "Have you come this way before, sister?"
Nun in front replies, "Yes... I think it's the *cobblestones!"*
Losing my virginity was a lot like when I first learned how to ride a bike.
My father had his hands on my shoulders.
After riding my bike for three hours I discovered a new dinosaur
The Mega-sore-a**....
Two Dutch girls are out riding their bikes when one of them suggests taking an alternate, scenic route home.
After a while they are in an area that the other girl doesn't recognize and she has no idea where they are or which direction home is. As it is getting towards dusk she becomes nervous and a bit agitated, she says to her friend, "I've never come this way before." And her friend turns to her, smiling, and says, "I know, it's the cobblestones."
I got a call from the pound
They wanted to tell me that they had picked up my dog because it was chasing a kid on a bike.
I said " That kid is a liar because not only does my dog not own a bike; he doesn't even know how to ride one yet!
Today I saw a kid riding a bike and thought it was mine
Then I checked the garage and it was still chained up, asking for food
My brother isn't going for a bike ride tomorrow because his brakes don't work
That shouldn't stop him.
I lost my virginity the same way i learned to ride a bike...
My dad holding me from the back
When I was walking home
When I was walking home, I saw a child riding a bike. It looked remarkably like mine, so I hurried home to make sure. When I got there, I saw it was still chained up in my garage asking for food
Adding a PERIOD to a sentence can literally change everything, too. For example...
*I heard Jane was riding on her bike.*
Becomes...
*I heard Jane was riding on her period.*
Man, after joining a Biker Gang: Do we or don't we ride our bikes at the same speed?
Biker: Yes, we do. But stop calling it synchronizing our cycles.
Two nuns are riding their bikes through Provence...
and they get lost. One says, "I never came this way before."
The other replies, "Maybe it's the cobblestones."
Cop comes to my house and says...
Your dog was chasing a kid on a bike
I was really confused because my dog can't ride a bike..
My first time having s**... was like my first time riding a bike
I broke both my arms
What do you call a medieval ruler who frequently says farewell, is attracted to both genders, rides a motorcycle, and originates from Scandinavia?
A biking
"You gotta help man, my bike's possessed. If I ride it, it bites me, if I don't, it still bites me."
"It's a vicious cycle."
"You think that's bad? My bike's turned entirely into clumpy goo."
"It's a viscous cycle."
"You think that's bad?! My bike's turned into a man, and then gone off to compete in the olympics."
"It's discus michael."
Ole came home from a long business trip to find his son riding a new 21 speed mountain bike.
"Vere did you get da money for da bike? Dat musta cost $500," he asked.
"It was easy, Dad," little Lars replied. "I earned it hiking."
"Come on Lars," Ole said. "Tell me da truth."
"Dat is da truth Dad!" Lars replied.
"Every night you ver gone, Sven, would come over to see Mom. He'd give me a $10 bill and tell me ta take a hike.
Last night I rode my bike to the liquor store
... and bought a bottle of whisky. I put the bottle in the bike basket but before riding back I thought: what if I fall down for some reason? The bottle will break! So I drank the whole bottle of whisky before riding home.
And thank God I did, because I must have fallen down about a dozen times before I got home.
Random dirty joke
Girl 1: Hey, that's a nice bike. When you get her?
Girl 2: Her? Did you just assume my bike's gender?
Girl 1: Well I find it hard to believe any guy lets you ride them willingly.
Ran out of v**... and decided to ride my bike into the liquor store
Man that hurt.
The police came to my house after getting complaints about my dogs chasing people on bikes.
I told them that's ridiculous. My dogs can't ride bikes.
I have a f**... for bikes riding on top of me
I guess I'm a cycle path
I have a bike with no seat. It hurts to ride, and no one wants to buy it because it has no seat. So I'm stuck riding this bike.
It's a vicious cycle.