rick Jokes

funny pick up lines and hilarious rick puns

Why do The Brit's still use 'u' in words like colour and armour ?

Because Rick Astley is British.

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What do you call a bulletproof Irishman?

Rick O'Shea.

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TIL that Rick Astley will let you borrow any movie from his Pixar collection, except one.

He's never gonna give you Up

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Rick Astley will lend you any of the Pixar films in his collection, except one.

He's never gonna give you Up.

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Rick Astley is such a nice guy

He'll let you borrow any of his Disney Pixar DVD collection! Except Up!

He's Never Gonna Give You Up

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Two prisoners were waiting to be executed.

"Any last requests?" asked the jailer.

"Yes," replied one of the prisoners. "I love music, so before I die could you play 'Never gonna give you up' by Rick Astley."

And the second prisoner said: "Kill me first."

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Rick Astley will let you borrow any movie from his Disney collection, except one.

He's never gonna give you Up.

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You know who's not giving anything up for lent?

Rick Astley.

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What do you call an Irishman who bounces off of walls?

Rick O'Shea.

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Help! I'm stuck on Rick Astley's roof

He took away the ladder and said he is never gonna let me down.

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Why Won't Michigan Governor Rick Snyder Take Any Flint Tap Water With Him Overseas In Order To Stick To His Promise That He'd Drink It For A Full Month...?

Because he can't get it through the airport metal detectors.

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Rick Astley will let you borrow most of his Pixar movies,

but he's never gonna give you Up

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what's worse than being adopted?

finding out it was Rick Astley who gave you up.

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Rick Astley asked for my Disney films the other day.

I said, you can have Cars and Toy Story, but I'm never gonna give you Up.

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Two pilots, Rick and Dick, are flying, when they start talking about the new stewardess...

Rick says. "Have you seen Svetlana, she's absolutely stunning".
Dick says "Seen her? I already did her after a flight last week!"
Rick says "Wow man was she good?". Dick says "Well she's not as good as other stewardesses but still better than my wife".
So Rick goes "well I gotta try this out.."

So after the flight he gets a drink with Svetlana, and one thing leads to another.

The next flight Dick asks "so how was she?"

Rick says "you're right, we do have hotter stewardesses, but she was definitely still better than your wife".

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Rick Santorum is claiming that Mitt Romney and Ron Paul have teamed up against him...

Which is kind of ironic — that Santorum can be brought down by two men forming a civil union.

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There once were two airplane mechanics from New Jersey...

... Who were also drinking buddies.

One night, the mechanics (Rick and Paul) were finishing up their shift and discussing where they should go for a drink afterwards.

"I don't know, man," said Rick. "We've been to every bar in town. The scene's getting old."

"Well," replied Paul, "there is one other option. I've heard drinking jet fuel gives you a pretty good buzz."

"Fuck it, I'll try anything once," said Rick, and they grabbed the nearest can of jet fuel and had the kind of time that only drinking buddies can.

The next morning, Rick awoke expecting the hangover from hell. To his surprise, he felt fine. Better than fine, even; he felt great!

"This is amazing," he thought. "All the fun of drinking, but with no negative effects!"

Just then, he receives a call from Paul.

"Hey man," said Paul. "How ya feelin'?"

"I feel great!" Exclaimed Rick. "You?"

"Pretty good, but there's just one thing... Did you fart yet?"

"No," said a puzzled Rick. "Why do you ask?"

"Because," Paul said. "I'm in Arizona."

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What is Rickon Stark's favorite band?

One Direction

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Where is the best place to hide if you are running from the police

Rick astleys house he's never gonna give you up

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So my friend, Rick Astley, asked me for some Pixar movies to watch...

I told him, "You can borrow Toy Story 1, 2, and 3, A Bugs Life, Monsters Inc., Finding Nemo, The Incredibles, Cars 1 and 2, Ratatouille, and Wall*E, but I'm never gonna give you UP!"

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Rick Astley will let you borrow any DVD from his Disney Pixar collection, except one.

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I asked Rick Astley to lend me some Pixar movies......

He said you can take Cars, you can take Toy Story but I'm never gonna give you Up.

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Rick Astley's releasing a new song lamenting the 'Brexit' result...

It's titled:

Never Gonna Give EU Up

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An Irishman was thrown out of a pub, but hit a wall and bounced straight back in.

His name was Rick O'Shea

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Help! Rick Astley is overstaying his welcome at my house!

He's never gonna say goodbye.

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Rick Astley will give you any of his Disney movies except this one.

He's never going to give you Up.

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Did you know Rick Astley will let you borrow any film from his Pixar collection, excluding one?

He's never gonna give you Up.

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Rick.

Rick is a total lover of Pixar movies. He will lend you any title except for one.

He is never gonna give you Up.

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Jack and Rick are Discussing Their Sex Lives...

"I always cum too early," says Jack, "it's really messing with our relationship."
"Ok, I know how to fix this problem," claims Rick. "Right before you're about to do the deed, go into the bedroom and start hitting your penis on the nightstand. This will numb it up and make you last so much longer."
"Great!"" shouts Jack, as he sprints home to try it out.
He comes home to find his wife in the shower and wanting to surprise her, he begins to smack his penis on his nightstand. He hears the shower turn off and begins to smack it even harder.
"Rick? Is that you?" asks his wife.

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I asked Rick Astley if I could borrow some Disney DVDs...

He said, "You can take Cars and Lion King but I'm never gonna give you UP!"

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90% of Rick and Morty fanboys think they're Rick...

... when in reality they're Jerry.

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What do you call an Irishman who bounces off things?

Rick O'Shea

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The oxford english dictonary once debated whether or not to remove the letter 'u' from the alphabet. Why didn't they?

Because of Rick Astley

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The "Old Man" from Pawn Stars died yesterday

Rick wasn't sure he was dead so he called in an expert. Turns out he was dead.

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I thought I saw someone I knew putting up Rick Santorum posters

but I couldn't get a propaganda at him.

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What are the most funny Rick jokes of all time ?

Did you ever wanted to stand out with a good sense of humour joking with someone about Rick? Well, here are the best Rick dad jokes to laugh out loud. Crazy funny puns and Rick pick up lines to share with friends.

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