Rick Jokes

What are some Rick jokes?

Did you hear about the Irishman who was impervious to bullets?

His name was Rick O'Shea

Rick and Morty 9/11 joke

Rick and Morty fly around the two towers but instead attack the harbor.

Rick: Honestly, I’m proud of us for not …

Morty: Totally, would have been cheap ...

Rick: Low-hanging fruit. We’re better than that.

Morty: We almost did a 9/11, we went with the Pearl Harbor. We’re pretty classy !

Why do The Brit's still use 'u' in words like colour and armour ?

Because Rick Astley is British.

What do you call a bulletproof Irishman?

Rick O'Shea.

TIL that Rick Astley will let you borrow any movie from his Pixar collection, except one.

He's never gonna give you Up

Rick Astley will lend you any of the Pixar films in his collection, except one.

He's never gonna give you Up.

Rick Astley is such a nice guy

He'll let you borrow any of his Disney Pixar DVD collection! Except Up!

He's Never Gonna Give You Up

Two prisoners were waiting to be executed.

"Any last requests?" asked the jailer.

"Yes," replied one of the prisoners. "I love music, so before I die could you play 'Never gonna give you up' by Rick Astley."

And the second prisoner said: "Kill me first."

You know who's not giving anything up for lent?

Rick Astley.

What do you call an Irishman who bounces off of walls?

Rick O'Shea.

Help! I'm stuck on Rick Astley's roof

He took away the ladder and said he is never gonna let me down.

Why Won't Michigan Governor Rick Snyder Take Any Flint Tap Water With Him Overseas In Order To Stick To His Promise That He'd Drink It For A Full Month...?

Because he can't get it through the airport metal detectors.

Rick Astley will let you borrow most of his Pixar movies,

but he's never gonna give you Up

what's worse than being adopted?

finding out it was Rick Astley who gave you up.

Rick Astley asked for my Disney films the other day.

I said, you can have Cars and Toy Story, but I'm never gonna give you Up.

Rick Santorum is claiming that Mitt Romney and Ron Paul have teamed up against him...

Which is kind of ironic β€” that Santorum can be brought down by two men forming a civil union.

What is Rickon Stark's favorite band?

One Direction

Where is the best place to hide if you are running from the police

Rick astleys house he's never gonna give you up

So my friend, Rick Astley, asked me for some Pixar movies to watch...

I told him, "You can borrow Toy Story 1, 2, and 3, A Bugs Life, Monsters Inc., Finding Nemo, The Incredibles, Cars 1 and 2, Ratatouille, and Wall*E, but I'm never gonna give you UP!"

Rick Astley will let you borrow any DVD from his Disney Pixar collection, except one.

I asked Rick Astley to lend me some Pixar movies......

He said you can take Cars, you can take Toy Story but I'm never gonna give you Up.

Rick Astley's releasing a new song lamenting the 'Brexit' result...

It's titled:

Never Gonna Give EU Up

An Irishman was thrown out of a pub, but hit a wall and bounced straight back in.

His name was Rick O'Shea

Help! Rick Astley is overstaying his welcome at my house!

He's never gonna say goodbye.

Rick Astley will give you any of his Disney movies except this one.

He's never going to give you Up.

What do you name an Irish baby that bounces when you throw it at a wall?

Rick O'Shea

Rick.

Rick is a total lover of Pixar movies. He will lend you any title except for one.

He is never gonna give you Up.

I asked Rick Astley if I could borrow some Disney DVDs...

He said, "You can take Cars and Lion King but I'm never gonna give you UP!"

90% of Rick and Morty fanboys think they're Rick...

... when in reality they're Jerry.

The oxford english dictonary once debated whether or not to remove the letter 'u' from the alphabet. Why didn't they?

Because of Rick Astley

What did Rick Astley say to the doctor?

I just wanna tell you how I'm feeling

I thought I saw someone I knew putting up Rick Santorum posters

but I couldn't get a propaganda at him.

Brits

They drive a German Car
They go to Irish Pubz
To drink Belgium beer
They get a Chinese Takeaway on the way back
They sit on Swedish furniture
They watch American films
On a Japanese TV


Most of all though they are suspicious of all things foreign



Courtesy of Rick Wakemam who I'm doing lighting for tonight. (super chill guy btw)

What do you call an Irishman who can't be shot?

Rick O'Shea

I heard Rick Astley will give you any movie from his Disney collection

Except Up. He's Never Gonna Give You Up.

Assistant to the President: Sir, there's a crisis - somehow, we only have one copy of Pixar's Up left in existence.

President: All right, find the person who currently owns it, and have him give it to me.

Assistant to the President: Well there's some bad news, sir ...

President: Bad news? Have him give me the DVD, I'll copy it and post it on the Internet, problem solved!

Assistant to the President: Sir ...

President: What is the bad news? What human being could be that stingy that they wouldn't give me this movie?

Assistant to the President: His name is Rick, sir.

President: Rick?

Assistant to the President: Rick Astley, and He's Never Gonna Give You Up.

Computer Error

I was having trouble with my computer. So I called Rick the computer guy, to come over. Rick clicked a couple of buttons and solved the problem. He gave me a bill for a minimum service call. As he was walking away, I called after him, "So, what was wrong?"

He replied, "It was an ID ten T error."

I didn't want to appear stupid, but nonetheless inquired: "An ID ten T error? What's that ... in case I need to fix it again?"

The computer guy grinned.... "Haven't you ever heard of an ID ten T error before?"

"No," I replied.

"Write it down," he said, "and I think you'll figure it out."

So I wrote out ......

I D 1 0 T

Rick and morty recently surpassed Big Bang Theory as the highest rated comedy on television...

In other news, apparently Big Bang Theory is supposed to be funny.

A few Irish Jokes

With an Irish joke being posted earlier, I'll add a few of my Irish one liners.

What do you call the Irish man who hangs from the ceiling?

Shaun D'Leer


What do you call the Irish cowboy?

Rick O'Shea


What do you call the Irish Indian?

Tom O'Hawk

What do you call the Irish man who stays outside all night?

Patty O'Furniture

(this one is a repeat from the earlier thread)

He Tries To Give A Little Girl Some Advice. But Didn't Expect This Reply.

One afternoon, firefighter Rick was working on the engine outside the Fire Station, when he noticed a little Susan nearby in a little red wagon with little ladders hung off the sides, and a garden hose tightly coiled in the middle.

The Susan was wearing a fire fighter's helmet. The wagon was being pulled by her dog and her cat.

So firefighter Rick walked over to take a closer look. That sure is a nice fire truck, the firefighter said with admiration to Susan.

Thanks, the little Susan replied.

Then firefighter Rick looked a little closer, The girl had tied the wagon to her dog's collar and to the cat's testicles.

Little partner, firefighter Rick said, I don't want to tell you how to run your rig, but if you were to tie that rope around the cat's collar, I think you could go a lot faster.

The little Susan replied thoughtfully, You're probably right, but then I wouldn't have a siren.

Why is Ricky the Robot a bad lover?

Shortly after he sticks it in, he nuts and bolts.

In an interview yesterday, Texas Governor Rick Perry stood by his recent comments in which he compared homosexuality to alcoholism.

Perry further explained the similarities between the two by saying, They are both things I experimented with while in college and both resulted in my liver taking a pounding.

Why did Rick Astley get fired from his job at the video store?

Because he refused to rent someone a copy of the Pixar flick "Up".

What do Rick Ross and a dominatrix have in common?

They're both interested in whips and chains.

Which singer should you avoid borrowing Pixar movies from?

Rick Astley, because he's never gonna give you Up.

I missed the latest episode of Rick & Morty

Boy, do I feel stupid now.

What do Lifeguards and Rick and Morty's Space cruiser have in common?

Keep Summer Safe

What's the best part of having Rick Astley as your father?

He's never gonna give you up.

3 guys just arrived to heaven and...

3 guys just arrived to heaven and then Jesus proceeds to call by their names:

- "Rand" kiss my hand!

- "Pete" kiss my feet!

Then Jesus: Rick!? Why are you running?

So Rick Perry drops his presidential bid Today..

I thought his campaign wasn't for late term abortions.

Rick Astley will give you any of his pixar movies exept for one.

He'll never give you Up.

What do Rick and Morty season 3 and my girlfriend have in common?

They both don't exist

I heard Rick Astley was going to make a comeback.

I guess he never gave up.

What did the dead meme do when someone misused him?

Rick rolled in his grave.

Rick Harrison was recently made the Pope

His office was promptly renamed to the *Pawntificate*

I asked Rick Harrison for change for a Dollar,

He told me that the best he could do is 50 cents and that he is taking all the risks.ο»Ώ

Rick Astley told me that you could borrow any of his Disney movies, except Up

He's never gonna give you Up...

Richard 'Old Man' Harrison just passed away

Mortician: it's going to cost you $10,000 to put him in a casket.

Rick: best I can do is $100 cause it's just going to sit there and collect dust.

What do you call an Irishman with no arms and no legs who's rolling down a hill?

Rick O'Shay.

You could ask Rick Astley for any movie in his animated collection, but...

He's never gonna give you Up.

I'm writing a Bollywood take on a spy movie, about a taxi driver who's really an undercover agent.

His catchphrase is, "the name's Shaw - Rick Shaw".

What is Rick Grimes' favorite exhibit at the aquarium?

Coraaaaaaaal

What is Rick Grimes' favourite type of crisps?

Walkers

Rick is sitting in his bar in Casablanca, enjoying the sublime beauty of geometry...

He raises his glass and says, "Here's looking at Euclid."

Chumlee was arrested for sexual assault, drugs, and guns.

Do you think Rick will go to the court and haggle down his sentence?

Why does Ricky Hatton not have a PS4?

Because he's an Xboxer.

Ricky sent SMS to his BOSS: "Me sick, no work"

Boss SMS back:
"When I am sick I kiss my wife try it"
2 hours later Ricky sms 2 boss:
"Me ok, ur wife very sweet"

One day a trendy drug addict named Rick hallucinates having a conversation with his drugs.

"Never gonna give you up." he says.

"Never gonna let you down." replied the drugs.

"Is Rick rolling in style again?" asked his friends.

How do we know Rick is British?

He is always looking for Morty!

OC, and yeah, it's lame but you can tell it to kids and not get called into a "meeting" when they tell it at school ;)

Ricky Gervais has sold the rights to do an 'adult' adaptation of 'The Office' to Vivid Picture.

It will be called 'The Orifice'.

What happened when Rick fell down a hill?

Rick rolled.

How many i's does "Carl" have?

One less than "Rick".

An original joke I pondered while binging TWD on Netflix.

I asked Rick Astley for a movie...

I asked him to borrow some movies. He said "sure what movies do you want?" I asked him for the movie 'Up'. He started singing.

"Never gonna give you Up!"

If the main character of "The Walking Dead " spared every human, would he be called...

... Pacifist Rick ?

I'm guessing Trump has been Rick Rolled too many times ...

Because he just gave you up, let you down and deserted you.

What's Neymar favorite song?

Never Gonna Give You Up de 1987 de Rick Astley (RickRoll)

Ricky Martin's endorsing a new diet

Livin La Vida Locarb

Why should you hire Rick Astley as a general?

He'll never let his guard down

Tough choice in Florida governor's race...

Charlie Crist and Rick Scott are standing at opposite ends of a theater when both men spontaneously burst into flames and there's only one fire extinguisher in the entire building!

Where would you hide the fire extinguisher?

How to make Rick jokes?

We have collected gags and puns about Rick to have fun with. Do you want to stand out in a crowd with a good sense of humour joking about Rick? If Yes here are a lot more hilarious lines and funny Rick pick up lines to share with friends.

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