Rich Jokes
169 rich jokes and hilarious rich puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about rich that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
Looking for a good laugh? Check out our collection of funny, rich jokes that will have you rolling on the floor!
Quick Jump To
- Short Rich Jokes
- Rich One Liners
- So Rich Jokes
- Rich Man Jokes
- Rich People Jokes
- Rich Guy Jokes
- Eat The Rich Jokes
- More Rich Jokes
Funniest Rich Short Jokes
Short rich jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The rich humour may include short rick jokes also.
- Monopoly is fun but it has some really old stuff that isn't valid anymore. There's free parking, a luxury tax and rich people can actually go to jail.
- How do you get rich in Ancient Greece? Well, step one, become an oracle. Step two: Prophet.
- Genie: Whats your first wish? Dave: I wish I was rich.
Genie: Granted, what's your second wish?
Rich: I want lots of money. - Dave rubs a magic lamp and the genie grants him 3 wishes Genie: what will be your first wish?
Dave: I want to be rich
Genie: Granted. What will be your second wish?
Rich: I want a lot of money - If a rich man dies from a drug overdose, the headline should read "Pills bury dough boy" Credit to my friend Chris
- Old rich white men selecting strong young black men to work on their fields? I'm not sure about this nfl draft thing.
- A conversation with a genie Genie: What is your first wish?
Steve: I want to be rich.
Genie: Granted. Second wish?
Rich: I want lots of money. - When I was young, I thought rich people owned Bose music systems and the rest of us had Sony products. Turns out those were just stereotypes.
- 100 years ago everyone had a horse and only the rich had cars. Nowadays everyone has a car and only the rich have horses Oh how the stables have turned
- A genie asked, "What's your first wish?" Steve answered, "I wish I was rich."
And the genie said, "What's your second wish, Rich?"
Share These Rich Jokes With Friends
Rich One Liners
Which rich one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with rich? I can suggest the ones about rand and worthy.
- Why are rich british people fat? because they measure their wealth in pounds
- Why are the irish so rich? Their capital is always Dublin. Hehe
- How do you tickle a rich girl? Say Gucci Gucci Gucci!
- What do you call a rich Chinese person ? cha ching
- What do Elon Musk and Thomas Edison have in common? They both got rich off of Tesla.
- What do you call a rich asian? Cha Ching
- How do you spot a rich Ethiopian? By the Rolex around his waist.
- Why does nobody like a rich stone? Because he takes everything for granite.
- Why is a river really rich? It's got two banks.
- I like my women how I like my milk... Rich, white, and 2% fat
- I have many jokes about rich kids. Sadly none of them work.
- Why is it so hard to talk to rich criminals? Because they never finish their sentences.
- Just had a coffee and it was so black and rich, a Kardashian just tried to sleep with it.
- I slept with a rich girl once. Got lobsters.
- When does soil get rich? When mother nature makes it rain.
So Rich Jokes
Here is a list of funny so rich jokes and even better so rich puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- You can tell monopoly's an old game... ...because there's a luxury tax and rich people can go to jail
- Why does Michael J. fox make really good milkshakes? Because he's rich and can afford the best ingredients
- If you watch Jeopardy backwards, it's about rich people paying money for answers to questions. That is all.
- You can tell Monopoly is an old game... ...because there's free parking, a luxury tax and rich people can actually go to jail.
- A man stumbles upon a Genie and is granted 3 wishes. Genie: What is your first wish?
Joe: I want to be rich.
Genie: Granted. What is your second wish?
Rich: I want lots of money. - Genie: "What's your first wish?" Steve: "I wish I was rich!"
Genie: "Okay, what's your next wish?"
Rich: "I wish I had lots of money!" - My 9 year old just told me this joke and I thought I would share What do you call rich peanut butter?
Jif Bezos - You can make a capitalist poor and they'll still believe in Capitalism But if you make a socialist rich, you have a new capitalist.
- A man who pretends to be rich in order to attract pretty, young women is not a "Sugar Daddy". He's an artificial sweetner.
- A 75 year old rich man marries a 20-yo beautiful woman... And a friend of his comes to ask how did he manage to pull that off.
"I told her I was 90".
Rich Man Jokes
Here is a list of funny rich man jokes and even better rich man puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- "Man, if I had listened my father when I was 8, I could've been rich today" Friend: What did he say?
Me: I dunno, I didn't listen.
Heard that on the radio today - An older woman who dates younger men is called a cougar. What do you call an older man who dates younger women? Rich.
- How does an old rich man propose to a young beautiful woman? Will you bury me?
- "He drives a 300k vehicle. He must be rich." Woman: So what do you do for a living?
Man: I drive a bus. - Robin Hood hands over stolen goods to the poor man Man: Wow thank you robin hood, now i'm rich!
Robin: *squints* you're what? - What do you call a rich man's white tank top? A trophy wife beater.
- A Rich man sent a medicine shipment to Somalia Once it reached the Airport inspection, Customs rejected it and sent it back;
the instructions on the medicines said : after meal - How did the rich man get caught sleeping with the banker's wife? He was making more deposits than withdrawls.
- I met a homeless man, named Rich. He wasn't.
- A man was trying to become rich by gaining weight He was trying to make a four chin
Rich People Jokes
Here is a list of funny rich people jokes and even better rich people puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- When I was young, I thought rich people bought Bose products and the rest of us had to settle for Sony. Turns out — that was just a stereotype.
- Rich people are born with a silver spoon in their mouth. But polite french people are born with a s'il vous plaît
- Rosh Hashana Joke When people ask me why Jews are so smart and rich?
Seriously?!,isn't it obvious we're about to be in the year 5783 and you are still living in 2022 - Do you know how you can tell Monopoly's an old game? ...it has a luxury tax and rich people can actually go to jail.
- Monopoly is amazing but it has some pretty old stuff that one can't relate to anymore I mean there is free parking, a luxury tax and rich people can actually go to jail.
- The game monopoly is fin, but has some major out of date stuff. There's free parking, a luxury tax, you can actually afford to pay rent, and rich people can actually go to jail.
- 100 years ago, most people had horses but only the rich had cars. Now, most people have cars but only the rich have horses The stables have turned
- Why are rich people bad at running a bakery? Because they don't knead the dough
- Why doesn't Batman like going to Robin's house? They don't like rich people in Robin's hood
- What do rich people and drug addicts have in common? They both have friends in high places.
Rich Guy Jokes
Here is a list of funny rich guy jokes and even better rich guy puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- I am transfinancial I am a rich guy trapped in the body of a poor guy
- I've just time travelled from next week to tell you who won the election It was the rich, old white guy
- A rich guy dies and goes to the gates of heaven. He offers Peter gold, thinking he can buy his way in. Peter looks at it and says, "You brought me pavement?"
- Apple and Fifty Shades of Gray are popular for the same reason ... ... they both offer the fantasy of being dominated by a rich guy, who pushes the boundarys of what you though you were into.
- Being rich is not easy Yesterday I donated my phone and wallet to a poor guy. You can't imagine the happiness that I felt as I saw him putting the gun back in his pocket. KINDNESS IS EVERYTHING!
- A rich guy and his wife both died and their caskets were driven in separate cars... His and Hearse.
- Did you know about the guy that invented tampons? He went from rags to riches
- What do you call a guy who steals noodles from the rich to give to the poor? Ramen Hood.
- Young women marrying old rich guys is a lot like musical chairs. The last one to sit on it wins.
- "I just burned a hundred dollar bill" "Wow, rich guy eh?"
"No, it was a bill from my dentist."
Eat The Rich Jokes
Here is a list of funny eat the rich jokes and even better eat the rich puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- Eat the rich Because poor people taste bad
- I know people say you should eat the rich, but I disagree. They're probably spoiled anyway.
- What do poor people have, rich people want? And if you eat it you die. It's nothing
- How do you get rich fast? Don't let him eat during the day
- What did the communists chant when they decided to eat the rich? Down with the Vourgeoisie!
- Rich people need them, poor people need them and if you eat them you will be killed. Children
- What's Greater than god, more evil than the devil, the poor have it, the rich need it, and if you eat it you die? Nothing.
- Poor people have it, rich people want it, and if you eat, you'll die. What is it? Drugs.
- I've seen poor with no food to eat. I've seen rich with no time to eat... They're both hungry.
- What kind of cheese do rich people eat? Guccheese.
Cheerful Fun Rich Jokes for Lovely Laughter
What funny jokes about rich you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean wealthy jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make rich pranks.
A rich guy hires an out of work Mexican to do some work.
The guy hands him a 5 gallon bucket of green paint and says, "Go around the side of the house, and paint my porch."
The Mexican knocks on the door a few hours later and says, "I'm finished mister - but I have to tell you, that was no porch, that was a Mercedes."
Old Man Keeps the Engine Running
A rich 65 year old white man get's himself a gorgeous 23 year old woman. The couple was happy and were planning to start a family.
After a few months as a married couple, the old man gets his wife pregnant. While at the hospital getting ready to deliver the baby:
* **Nurse**: Wow sir, its amazing how you still managed to get you wife pregnant at your age, whats your seceret?
* **Old Man**: Oh you know, you have to keep the engine running.
* **Nurse**: Wow, that is amazing.
After the delivering their baby, 5 years later the Old man gets his wife pregnant again. While at the hospital delivering the baby the same nurse asks:
* **Nurse**: Sir, you did it again, this is amazing, what is your secret?
* **Old Man**: Same as last time, you just have to keep the engine running.
* **Nurse**: Wow, sir. You are a trooper.
The couple had 2 beautiful children and were happy, but 5 years later the man got his wife pregnant yet again. While at the hospital delivering the baby the same nurse asks:
* **Nurse**: "Sir this is truly incredible, you are 75 years old and you got your wife pregnant again, what is your secret?"
* **Old Man**: "Like I told you before! you have to keep the engine running!"
* **Nurse**: "Well sir, it may be time for you to change the oil because this one came out black."
The wedding night
A young women marries a very rich very old man. On the wedding night they have adjoining suites. The young woman tells her husband that she loves him for his mind and that he should feel no performance pressure. If he feels up to s**... to just knock on her door.
She goes to bed expecting a restful and undisturbed night but about 5 minutes later there is a knock and in comes the old man. They proceed to have fairly rambunctious s**... after which the old man returns to his room. The bride settles back to go to sleep. 10 min later there is another knock at the door and in he comes again, and another round of s**.... Afterward he again leaves. The young bride is very tired by now and is looking forward to a good night's sleep. 10 minutes later there is another knock at the door. She bursts out incredulously, "Again?". The old man opens the door and replies, "What? Have I been here before?"
There once was a man who made dead houses.
There once was a man who made dead houses; Stored them under his home with the bugs and the mouses; The coffins he made were of rich sleek wood; He built them as big, yet as fast as he could; For his caskets were haunted and were said to walk; one night he went to his basement, and one started to rock; It moved towards him, his insides began to soften; So he pulled out some Halls, cause Halls stops the coffin.
Two out-of-work Mexicans knock on a rich guy's door - looking for odd jobs
The rich guy feels for them, so he says, "I'll give you 100 bucks to go out back and paint my porch."
The Mexicans can't believe their luck - and agree. The rich guy gives them a few gallons of paint and some brushes.
About an hour later, they knock on the door. The guy answers, and the Mexicans tell him they are done. He says, "I can't believe you're done so fast. That should have taken at least 5 hours."
One of the Mexicans says, "We are done, Senor. But I have to tell you - that wasn't no porch. That was a Mercedes."
The secret to wealth
A young man once asked a rich older man how he made all his money.
The dapper old fellow smoothed his tailored jacket and said, "Well young man, it was 1932, in the depths of the Great Depression. I was down to the last penny I had."
"I took that penny and I went and bought an apple. I spent the whole day shining that apple until it gleamed like the sun, then I took that apple to the market and sold it for two cents."
"The next day I took those two cents and bought two apples. I shined those apples all day and night until they were perfect, then I sold them at the market for four cents the next day. I worked at it like this for a month, sometimes selling, sometimes not, and at the end of the month I'd amassed myself a fortune. Nearly eight whole dollars. I'd never been so proud of myself in my life."
"Then my wife's father died and left us 2 million bucks."
Two friends meet after a long time.
and begin catching up on old times.
Friend 1: "Hey last time I heard, your engagement fell through. What happened man?"
Friend 2: "Well it was her decision. She decided I'm not good enough for her."
Friend 1: "I'm so sorry to hear that. But you know what? You should have told her about your super rich dad, and how you would inherit his money."
Friend 2: "I did. She's my mom now."
How to get rich
A young man asked an old rich man how he made his money. The old guy fingered his worsted wool vest and said, "Well, son, it was 1932. The depth of the Great Depression. I was down to my last nickel. I invested that nickel in an apple. I spent the entire day polishing the apple and, at the end of the day, I sold the apple for ten cents. The next morning, I invested those ten cents in two apples. I spent the entire day polishing them and sold them at 5 pm for 20 cents. I continued this system for a month, by the end of which I'd accumulated a fortune of $1.37. Then my wife's father died and left us two million dollars."
A rich man and a horse
There was a rich man that was driving past a farm, He looked over and saw a beautiful stallion standing in the field. The rich man thought, Wow I gotta have him so he pulled into the farm's entrance. He found the owner and said, "I want that horse out yonder in that field, how much do you want for him?" Well, the farmer said, "He don't look to good." Nonsense said the rich man "I'll pay you $1000 for him." But he don't look to good said the farmer. The rich man sighed and said $2000 dollars is my final offer. The farmer sold the beautiful horse to the rich man. Then one week later the rich man came back angry as ever and said, "Darn you you sold me a blind horse!" Then the farmer smiled and said "I told you, he didn't look too good!"
Why is Ireland so rich?
Because their capital is always Dublin.
A Rich Woman And Her Butler
A rich couple was going out for the evening. The lady of the house decided to give the butler,
Throckmorton, the night off.
She said they would be home very late and he should just enjoy his evening.
As it turned out, the wife didn't have a good time at the party, so she came home early.
She walked into the house and eyed Throckmorton sitting alone in the dining room.
She called for him to follow her. She led him to the master bedroom.
She closed and locked the door. She looked at him and smiled.
"Throckmorton. Take off my dress." He did so, carefully.
"Throckmorton. Take off my stockings and garter." He silently obeyed her.
"Throckmorton. Remove my bra and p**...." The tension mounted as he complied.
Finally she looked at him and said,
"Throckmorton. If I ever catch you wearing my clothes again, you're fired."
Did you know that God is rich?
Yeah, back in Israel he made a prophet.
Newspaper ad - RICH WIDOW LOOKING FOR MAN TO SHARE LIFE AND FORTUNE WITH THE FOLLOWING QUALIFICATIONS:
1. WON'T BEAT ME UP
2. WON'T RUN AWAY
3. HAS TO BE GREAT IN BED
For several months, her phone rang off the hook, her doorbell was ringing constantly, she received tons of mail...all to no avail. None of the men seemed to meet her qualifications.
Then one day the doorbell rang yet again. She opened the door to find a man, with no arms and no legs, lying on the welcome mat. Perplexed, she asked, "Who are you and what do you want?"
"Hi," said the man "Your search is over, for I am the man of your dreams. I've got no arms, so I can't beat you up and I've got no legs, so I can't run away."
The old woman asked, "What makes you think you're so great in bed?"
To which he replied, "I rang the doorbell, didn't I?"
Ever wonder why Dallas Cowboy fans are so rich?
Because they never have to pay for super bowl tickets!
A dying grandma tells her grandchild....
A dying grandma tells her grandchild, "I want to leave you my farm. That includes the barn, livestock, the harvest, the tractor, and other equipment, the farmhouse and $24,548,750.45 in cash." The grandchild, absolutely floored and about to become rich says, "Oh grandma, you are SO generous! I didn't even know you had a farm. Where is it?" With her last breath, Grandma whispered, "Facebook..."
My friend is so rich
He thought Manual labor was a Spanish musician
A rich, young man walks into a bar.
He sits down and orders a few drinks. As he is enjoying his beer, he sees a mentally r**... man outside the building.
Poor Old fool, thought the well-dressed gentleman as he watched the old man fish in a puddle outside a pub. So he invited the old man inside for a drink. As they sipped their whiskeys, the gentleman thought he'd humor the old man and asked, So how many have you caught today?
The old man replied, You're the eighth.
how come Michael J. Fox can make such good milkshakes?
because he is rich and can afford high quality ingredients!..
I'm halfway towards my goal of becoming filthy rich.
Now I just have to have to figure out the rich part.
A comedian was getting attacked for his routine being too sexist
So, he replaced the word "women" with "white, rich, republican women". The audience stopped complaining.
Jim finds a genie in a lamp
The genie says "you have three wishes to make"
Jim instantly says "I wish I were rich!"
The genie responds, "and for your second wish?"
Rich says "I want lots of money"
If people went shopping like they do in RPG games, shop owners would be rich
"I'll take 99 boxes of Tylenol, 99 tetanus shots, 99 vials of clear eyes, and what's in that little box over there? screw it -I'll take 99 of them as well."
"Very good sir, may I ask what you will be using these for?"
"Who says I'm gonna use them?"
My new invention has made me rich!!!
exploding prayer mats, prophets are going through the roof
Little Johnny goes to his grandfather and asks him to croak like a frog.
"Why, sure Johnny. *Croak*", says grandfather.
"Yaaaaay", exclaimed Johnny. Confused, grandfather asks what's so exciting.
"Papa says we're going to be rich when you croak!", replies johnny.
An old man is about to die.
While he is laying in his bed waiting to die, he said to his sons ( a rich musician, a rich doctor and a lawyer ) : When i die i want you to put in my coffin 5K $ each for my after life.
One week later the old man dies.
At his f**... the musician came and put 5k $ in his dads coffin while he's crying.
The doctor did the same thing , he left 5k $ and left crying.
Finally, the lawyer took the 10k $ and left a check with 15k$ and said : thank you dad.
An Irish man frees a genie
and happy to be released from his confinement, the genie grants him 3 wishes.
The Irishman thinks about it, and says "I want me a pint of Guinness that is never empty."
So *p**...* a pint appears, filled to the rim with the rich brown drink. The man drinks it down, and when he places it back on the bar, it's filled up again.
"So, what would you like for your other two wishes, sir?"
"I want two more of these, then!"
I can't believe Prince Harry, who's British royalty, is marrying African American actress Meghan Markle. Why would someone that rich and famous marry an obviously inferior genetic specimen? It's just unthinkable.
Though I suppose if Meghan wants to marry a ginger, it's none of my business.
The Jew says...
A Catholic, a Protestant, a Muslim and a Jew were in a discussion during a dinner.
Catholic: I have a large fortune… I am going to buy Citibank!
Protestant: I am very wealthy and will buy General Motors!
Muslim: I am a fabulously rich prince… I intend to purchase Microsoft!
They all wait for the Jew to speak…
The Jew stirs his coffee, places the spoon neatly on the table, takes a sip of his coffee,
looks at them and casually says: I'm not selling!!
The American dream:
To buy a shovel for 2$, to then sell it for 4$. Then you buy two shovels, and sell those for 8$. Then one of your rich uncles dies and you inherit 1,000,000$
My dad told me this one
My friend Rachel made a bet for $10,000 that she wouldn't change her gender
She's Rich now.
The son of a rich Saudi sheikh arrives in Germany for his University studies.
He soon writes home to his father. "Dear Dad, Berlin is wonderful, the people are nice and I really like it here, but Dad I am a little ashamed to be riding to class every day in my 24k gold Ferrari 599GTB when my professors, friends and many fellow students all travel by train. Your son, Ahmed"
Promptly, his father writes back. "My Dear son Ahmed, $20 Million has just been transferred to your account. Please stop embarrassing our family. Go and get yourself a train too. Love, your dad"
HOW i got rich
One rich man is asked how he got rich. He answers: I bought one unwashed apple in the market for a dollar, washed it and sold it for 2, then bought 2 unwashed apples, washed it and sold it for 4. -And so gradually you got rich? - No, after 2 years, my grandmother died and left me a legacy of 4 billion dollars, and I stopped doing nonsense
A snail walks into a car dealership...
A snail walks into a car dealership. The snail wants something fast, elegant, and luxurious, after browsing multiple brands he decides on one.
The rich snail pays in cash and walks up to the dealerships salesman and says "I want you to paint big S's all along this car, big S's on the front, the sides, the back, the top, big S's everywhere. The auto body guy tells him he can do it, but can't help but ask the snail why he wants big S's all over the car.
So the snail answers him "It's simple: When I launch past people on the highway they will say Look at that S car go!
A joke I translated from Russian
A pauper is sitting by a road in medieval England. All of a sudden, Robin Hood comes out of the forest, throws a bag of gold at the pauper's feet and says, "I am Robin Hood. I take from the rich and give to the poor."
The pauper tears up, embraces Robin Hood and says, "I am finally rich." Robin Hood then stabs the pauper with his sword,
"I am Robin Hood. I take from the rich and give to the poor."
A man finds a magical lamp.
He rubs the lamp, and a genie appears and says, "What is your first wish?" The man says, "I wish I were rich!" The genie snaps his fingers and replies, "Your wish has been granted! What is your second wish, Rich?"
It doesn't matter whether you are tall, short, fat, thin, rich, poor; at the end of the day...
It's night.
Three rich guys bury a friend
First throws a thousand bucks into the coffin, saying "I want you to never need anything in the next life".
Second one, richer than the first, throws 5000 behind it.
All look to the third who is even richer than the other two. He writes a check over 100 grand, throws it in the coffin and remarks "Cash it if you need any".
I was on a trip to Dubai, and in my stay, I met a rich man
Over time, we actually became friends, and he told me about this shoes company he owns.
He said:
Each pair of shoes we manufacture costs us about 2$, and we manage to sell them for 250$
What?! this is insane, why is it so expensive, ? I asked
Well I actually tried to make them cheaper for 25$ each
Then what happend?
People stopped buying them
What's considered t**... if you're poor, but classy if you're rich?
Manipulating the stock market
The genie of the lamp
Two neighbours, one is rich and the other is poor.
The poor have a magic lamp : Every morning,he wipes the lamp and a genie comes out and say : "Ask what you want" ,and the poor asks for a cup of tea.
The rich neighbour,envious of the magic lamp,said to the poor : i'll give you my car and my house in exchange of the lamp." The poor accepted the deal.
The rich man wipes the lamp and a genie comes out and say : "Ask what you want" he asked for a very big house and a better car.the genie replied : « Sorry sir,i only serve tea and coffee »
How do you know if a fisherman is rich?
Check his net income.
Be careful what you wish for
One for cake day:
Tom finds an old, tarnished lamp. He gets excited, and polishes it vigorously.
A genie appears and say "Congratulations, you get three wishes! What is your first wish?"
Tom says, "I want to be Rich!".
The genie says, "No problem, done. What is your next wish, Rich?"
Three rich guys bury a friend.
First guy throws a $1000 bucks into the coffin, saying "I want you to never need anything in the next life".
Second one, richer than the first, throws $5000 behind it.
All of them look to the third who is even richer than the other two. He writes a check for over 100 grand, throws it in the coffin and remarks "Cash it if you need anything".
What small thing screams "I'm rich"?
A dwarf who just won the lottery.
Credit to u/collider1
