Cheerful Fun Rich Jokes for Lovely Laughter
A rich guy hires an out of work Mexican to do some work.
The guy hands him a 5 gallon bucket of green paint and says, "Go around the side of the house, and paint my porch."
The Mexican knocks on the door a few hours later and says, "I'm finished mister - but I have to tell you, that was no porch, that was a Mercedes."
Old Man Keeps the Engine Running
A rich 65 year old white man get's himself a gorgeous 23 year old woman. The couple was happy and were planning to start a family.
After a few months as a married couple, the old man gets his wife pregnant. While at the hospital getting ready to deliver the baby:
* **Nurse**: Wow sir, its amazing how you still managed to get you wife pregnant at your age, whats your seceret?
* **Old Man**: Oh you know, you have to keep the engine running.
* **Nurse**: Wow, that is amazing.
After the delivering their baby, 5 years later the Old man gets his wife pregnant again. While at the hospital delivering the baby the same nurse asks:
* **Nurse**: Sir, you did it again, this is amazing, what is your secret?
* **Old Man**: Same as last time, you just have to keep the engine running.
* **Nurse**: Wow, sir. You are a trooper.
The couple had 2 beautiful children and were happy, but 5 years later the man got his wife pregnant yet again. While at the hospital delivering the baby the same nurse asks:
* **Nurse**: "Sir this is truly incredible, you are 75 years old and you got your wife pregnant again, what is your secret?"
* **Old Man**: "Like I told you before! you have to keep the engine running!"
* **Nurse**: "Well sir, it may be time for you to change the oil because this one came out black."
The wedding night
A young women marries a very rich very old man. On the wedding night they have adjoining suites. The young woman tells her husband that she loves him for his mind and that he should feel no performance pressure. If he feels up to s**... to just knock on her door.
She goes to bed expecting a restful and undisturbed night but about 5 minutes later there is a knock and in comes the old man. They proceed to have fairly rambunctious s**... after which the old man returns to his room. The bride settles back to go to sleep. 10 min later there is another knock at the door and in he comes again, and another round of s**.... Afterward he again leaves. The young bride is very tired by now and is looking forward to a good night's sleep. 10 minutes later there is another knock at the door. She bursts out incredulously, "Again?". The old man opens the door and replies, "What? Have I been here before?"
What do you call a rich Chinese person ?
cha ching
A 75 year old rich man marries a 20-yo beautiful woman...
And a friend of his comes to ask how did he manage to pull that off.
"I told her I was 90".
The secret to wealth
A young man once asked a rich older man how he made all his money.
The dapper old fellow smoothed his tailored jacket and said, "Well young man, it was 1932, in the depths of the Great Depression. I was down to the last penny I had."
"I took that penny and I went and bought an apple. I spent the whole day shining that apple until it gleamed like the sun, then I took that apple to the market and sold it for two cents."
"The next day I took those two cents and bought two apples. I shined those apples all day and night until they were perfect, then I sold them at the market for four cents the next day. I worked at it like this for a month, sometimes selling, sometimes not, and at the end of the month I'd amassed myself a fortune. Nearly eight whole dollars. I'd never been so proud of myself in my life."
"Then my wife's father died and left us 2 million bucks."
Why does nobody like a rich stone?
Because he takes everything for granite.
Why are the Irish so rich?
Their capital is always Dublin. Hehe
If you watch Jeopardy backwards, it's about rich people paying money for answers to questions.
That is all.
You can tell monopoly's an old game...
...because there's a luxury tax and rich people can go to jail
Old rich white men selecting strong young black men to work on their fields?
I'm not sure about this NFL draft thing.
You can explore rich . romanian music reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean rich thick dad jokes. There are also rich puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.
Ever wonder why Dallas Cowboy fans are so rich?
Because they never have to pay for super bowl tickets!
I like my women how I like my milk...
Rich, white, and 2% fat
A dying grandma tells her grandchild....
A dying grandma tells her grandchild, "I want to leave you my farm. That includes the barn, livestock, the harvest, the tractor, and other equipment, the farmhouse and $24,548,750.45 in cash." The grandchild, absolutely floored and about to become rich says, "Oh grandma, you are SO generous! I didn't even know you had a farm. Where is it?" With her last breath, Grandma whispered, "Facebook..."
If a rich man dies from a drug overdose, the headline should read "Pills bury dough boy"
Credit to my friend Chris
Why is a river really rich?
It's got two banks.
My friend is so rich
He thought Manual labor was a Spanish musician
Genie: Whats your first wish?
Dave: I wish I was rich.
Genie: Granted, what's your second wish?
Rich: I want lots of money.
A man stumbles upon a Genie and is granted 3 wishes.
Genie: What is your first wish?
Joe: I want to be rich.
Genie: Granted. What is your second wish?
Rich: I want lots of money.
A rich, young man walks into a bar.
He sits down and orders a few drinks. As he is enjoying his beer, he sees a mentally r**... man outside the building.
Poor Old fool, thought the well-dressed gentleman as he watched the old man fish in a puddle outside a pub. So he invited the old man inside for a drink. As they sipped their whiskeys, the gentleman thought he'd humor the old man and asked, So how many have you caught today?
The old man replied, You're the eighth.
A genie asked, "What's your first wish?"
Steve answered, "I wish I was rich."
And the genie said, "What's your second wish, Rich?"
I'm halfway towards my goal of becoming filthy rich.
Now I just have to have to figure out the rich part.
Just had a coffee and it was so black and rich,
a Kardashian just tried to sleep with it.
Jim finds a genie in a lamp
The genie says "you have three wishes to make"
Jim instantly says "I wish I were rich!"
The genie responds, "and for your second wish?"
Rich says "I want lots of money"
What do you call a rich asian?
Cha Ching
How do you spot a rich Ethiopian?
By the Rolex around his waist.
Little Johnny goes to his grandfather and asks him to croak like a frog.
"Why, sure Johnny. *Croak*", says grandfather.
"Yaaaaay", exclaimed Johnny. Confused, grandfather asks what's so exciting.
"Papa says we're going to be rich when you croak!", replies johnny.
An old man is about to die.
While he is laying in his bed waiting to die, he said to his sons ( a rich musician, a rich doctor and a lawyer ) : When i die i want you to put in my coffin 5K $ each for my after life.
One week later the old man dies.
At his f**... the musician came and put 5k $ in his dads coffin while he's crying.
The doctor did the same thing , he left 5k $ and left crying.
Finally, the lawyer took the 10k $ and left a check with 15k$ and said : thank you dad.
An Irish man frees a genie
and happy to be released from his confinement, the genie grants him 3 wishes.
The Irishman thinks about it, and says "I want me a pint of Guinness that is never empty."
So *p**...* a pint appears, filled to the rim with the rich brown drink. The man drinks it down, and when he places it back on the bar, it's filled up again.
"So, what would you like for your other two wishes, sir?"
"I want two more of these, then!"
How do you tickle a rich girl?
Say Gucci Gucci Gucci!
A conversation with a genie
Genie: What is your first wish?
Steve: I want to be rich.
Genie: Granted. Second wish?
Rich: I want lots of money.
I can't believe Prince Harry, who's British royalty, is marrying African American actress Meghan Markle. Why would someone that rich and famous marry an obviously inferior genetic specimen? It's just unthinkable.
Though I suppose if Meghan wants to marry a ginger, it's none of my business.
The American dream:
To buy a shovel for 2$, to then sell it for 4$. Then you buy two shovels, and sell those for 8$. Then one of your rich uncles dies and you inherit 1,000,000$
My dad told me this one
When does soil get rich?
When mother nature makes it rain.
Why does Michael J. Fox make really good milkshakes?
Because he's rich and can afford the best ingredients
Why are rich british people fat?
because they measure their wealth in pounds
Dave rubs a magic lamp and the genie grants him 3 wishes
Genie: what will be your first wish?
Dave: I want to be rich
Genie: Granted. What will be your second wish?
Rich: I want a lot of money
My friend Rachel made a bet for $10,000 that she wouldn't change her gender
She's Rich now.
100 years ago everyone had a horse and only the rich had cars. Nowadays everyone has a car and only the rich have horses
Oh how the stables have turned
A man who pretends to be rich in order to attract pretty, young women is not a "Sugar Daddy".
He's an artificial sweetner.
The son of a rich Saudi sheikh arrives in Germany for his University studies.
He soon writes home to his father. "Dear Dad, Berlin is wonderful, the people are nice and I really like it here, but Dad I am a little ashamed to be riding to class every day in my 24k gold Ferrari 599GTB when my professors, friends and many fellow students all travel by train. Your son, Ahmed"
Promptly, his father writes back. "My Dear son Ahmed, $20 Million has just been transferred to your account. Please stop embarrassing our family. Go and get yourself a train too. Love, your dad"
Genie: "What's your first wish?"
Steve: "I wish I was rich!"
Genie: "Okay, what's your next wish?"
Rich: "I wish I had lots of money!"
How do you get rich in Ancient Greece? Well, step one, become an oracle. Step two:
Prophet.
You can tell Monopoly is an old game...
...because there's free parking, a luxury tax and rich people can actually go to jail.
HOW i got rich
One rich man is asked how he got rich. He answers: I bought one unwashed apple in the market for a dollar, washed it and sold it for 2, then bought 2 unwashed apples, washed it and sold it for 4. -And so gradually you got rich? - No, after 2 years, my grandmother died and left me a legacy of 4 billion dollars, and I stopped doing nonsense
Rich people are born with a silver spoon in their mouth.
But polite french people are born with a s'il vous plaît
A snail walks into a car dealership...
A snail walks into a car dealership. The snail wants something fast, elegant, and luxurious, after browsing multiple brands he decides on one.
The rich snail pays in cash and walks up to the dealerships salesman and says "I want you to paint big S's all along this car, big S's on the front, the sides, the back, the top, big S's everywhere. The auto body guy tells him he can do it, but can't help but ask the snail why he wants big S's all over the car.
So the snail answers him "It's simple: When I launch past people on the highway they will say Look at that S car go!
Monopoly is fun but it has some really old stuff that isn't valid anymore.
There's free parking, a luxury tax and rich people can actually go to jail.
Do you know how you can tell Monopoly's an old game?
...it has a luxury tax and rich people can actually go to jail.
Three rich guys bury a friend
First throws a thousand bucks into the coffin, saying "I want you to never need anything in the next life".
Second one, richer than the first, throws 5000 behind it.
All look to the third who is even richer than the other two. He writes a check over 100 grand, throws it in the coffin and remarks "Cash it if you need any".
What do Elon Musk and Thomas Edison have in common?
They both got rich off of Tesla.
What's considered t**... if you're poor, but classy if you're rich?
Manipulating the stock market
The genie of the lamp
Two neighbours, one is rich and the other is poor.
The poor have a magic lamp : Every morning,he wipes the lamp and a genie comes out and say : "Ask what you want" ,and the poor asks for a cup of tea.
The rich neighbour,envious of the magic lamp,said to the poor : i'll give you my car and my house in exchange of the lamp." The poor accepted the deal.
The rich man wipes the lamp and a genie comes out and say : "Ask what you want" he asked for a very big house and a better car.the genie replied : « Sorry sir,i only serve tea and coffee »
Why is it so hard to talk to rich criminals?
Because they never finish their sentences.
Be careful what you wish for
One for cake day:
Tom finds an old, tarnished lamp. He gets excited, and polishes it vigorously.
A genie appears and say "Congratulations, you get three wishes! What is your first wish?"
Tom says, "I want to be Rich!".
The genie says, "No problem, done. What is your next wish, Rich?"
When I was young, I thought rich people bought Bose products and the rest of us had to settle for Sony.
Turns out — that was just a stereotype.
What small thing screams "I'm rich"?
A dwarf who just won the lottery.
Credit to u/collider1
100 years ago everyone owned horses
And only the rich owned cars
Now everyone has a car,and only the rich own horses
The stables have turned
I have many jokes about rich kids.
Sadly none of them work.
You can make a capitalist poor and they'll still believe in Capitalism
But if you make a socialist rich, you have a new capitalist.
A rich guy visits a doctor for a little blue pill
The doctor gives him a sample to try out. He tells him to take it now and by the time you get home it should be working.
20 minutes later the guy calls the doctor to tell him his wife isn't home but the maid is there.
Doctor says, well... try it out with the maid.
Patient replies, I never needed a pill to get a hard-on with the maid.
My 9 year old just told me this joke and I thought I would share
What do you call rich peanut butter?
Jif Bezos
A policeman stops a young rich kid driving a porche.
Policeman - please get out of the car.
Rich kid- you'll regret this. Do you know who my father is?
Policeman - why? Your mother didn't tell you?
What do you call someone who steals noodles from the rich and gives them to the poor?
Ramen Hood
The Lawyer
Satan appears before a lawyer and says, "I will make a deal with you. You will become the most successful attorney who has ever lived. You will be rich beyond imagination, and known to everyone on the planet. You will be appointed to the Supreme Court, and your rulings will be read and studied for decades to come. All I ask in return is the souls of your wife and your three children."
The lawyer sits with his head in his hands, thinking for several minutes. Finally he says, "Okay, what's the catch?"
When I was young, I thought rich people owned Bose music systems and the rest of us had Sony products.
Turns out those were just stereotypes.
Rosh Hashana Joke
When people ask me why Jews are so smart and rich?
Seriously?!,isn't it obvious we're about to be in the year 5783 and you are still living in 2022
What's considered t**... if you're poor but class if you're rich?
Florida
Why is the hound dog rich?
Because he's always picking up scents
A man has a vision of God
God says to the man "You may ask three questions of me."
The man thinks hard, and says "God, the universe is so old...how do you keep track of it?"
God says "My child, to me a million years is only one second."
The man thinks again, and says "God, why do so many rich people forget about you?"
God says, "My child, to me a million dollars is like one cent."
The man thinks again, and says "In that case, God, will you grant me one cent?"
God says "Of course, my child. Just wait a second."
Richard Marx was a famous singer in the 80s
But did you know his sister, Onya, invented the starter p**...?
Stuck a photo of my ex onto my boomerang.
Now it only comes back when I get rich.
Some people have said that I'm a spoilt and pretentious rich kid that doesn't have to work, but they don't know my struggles. For instance I really don't like my Boss.
I much prefer my Balenciaga, but sometimes I have to wear it to appease mother.
Back in the day…..
The poor had horses and the rich had cars
Nowadays the poor have cars and the rich have horses
How the stables have turned
A man was riding in the back of his limousine when he saw a man eating grass by the roadside...
He ordered his driver to stop and he got out to investigate.
"Why are you eating grass?" he asked the man.
"I don't have any money for food," the poor man replied.
"Oh, please come to my house!"
"But sir, I have a wife and four children..."
"Bring them along!" the rich man said.
They all climbed into the limo. Once underway, the poor fellow said, "Sir, you are too kind. Thank you for taking all of us in."
The rich man replied, "No, you don't understand. The grass at my house is over three feet tall!"
I slept with a rich girl once.
Got lobsters.
