Rice Jokes

• Short Rice Jokes
• Rice One Liners
• Rice Paddies Jokes
• Fried Rice Jokes
• Grains Rice Jokes
• Rice Cooker Jokes
• More Rice Jokes

Funniest Rice Short Jokes

Short rice jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The rice humour may include short bread jokes also.

1. I told my girlfriend that brown rice was just white rice with a criminal record... ...she called me a riceist
2. Ray rice got caught punching his girlfriend in an elevator It was wrong on so many levels.
3. As a food photographer, I've always hated taking pictures of rice They always come out too grainy
4. I've started buying store brand Spanish rice instead of the expensive stuff As they say, "Arroz by any other name..."
5. Ray Rice doesn't believe in giving women rights. However, he has no problem giving them a couple lefts
6. I asked my Asian girlfriend for 69 She made me crunchy sweet and sour pork with double rice
7. LPT: If your phone gets water damage, leave it in a bowl of rice overnight. When you're sleeping, Asians will come to eat the rice and will fix your phone for fun
8. My friend told me white rice was better than brown rice... I stopped talking to him, because I don't associate with ricists.
9. What do you call it when Condoleezza Rice pushes a stuck-up criminal down a flight of stairs? Conde sending condescending con descending.
10. You can't fool me. I know chicken fried rice isn't real. You expect me to believe a chicken fried this rice?

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Rice One Liners

Which rice one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with rice? I can suggest the ones about beans and corn.

1. What is the one thing spiderman can't eat? Uncle Bens rice.
2. What's the worst part of an nfl wedding? Getting hit by Rice
3. What do you call someone who hates brown rice? Ricist.
4. What does Asian Matthew Mcconaughey want for dinner? All rice, all rice, all rice
5. I treat both brown and white rice equally. I'm not riceist.
6. Chinese Food is amazing but I do find it hard to believe that a chicken fried this rice
7. Pasta is long and stringy. Rice is short and stubby. Orzo you think
8. What is the sushi chef's dream car? rolls rice
9. The dumpling said to the chopstick, “You complete me rice away.
10. I took a picture of rice but I decided to delete it... It was too grainy.
11. What kind of car does a sushi chef drive? Rolls Rice
12. If you love white rice, and hate brown rice.. You're a ricist.
13. Why doesn't Spiderman like rice? It reminds him of Uncle Ben.
14. I only like white rice I guess you could say I'm ricist
15. I like my women like I like my rice... Hot, white, and with my meat in it.

Rice Paddies Jokes

Here is a list of funny rice paddies jokes and even better rice paddies puns that will make you laugh with friends.

• What do you call a person of Irish and Asian descent? Rice p**....
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• Once a man in the mafia, was tasked with killing another man. He ended up killing him with a porcelain doll in a rice p**....
  It was the first known case of a knick knack p**... whack.
• What do you call an Irishman standing in a field in China? A rice p**...!
• Did you hear about that guy who got killed in a rice field by a hitman with a porcelain doll? Police are saying it's the first known case of a knick-knack-p**...-wack.
• A man was arrested for killing a cow in a rice field using only 2 small porcelain figures. Police say this may be the first known case of a Knick-knack p**... whack.
• Did you hear about the man who was hit over the head with a bobble-head in a rice field? It's the first reported case of a knick knack p**... whack.
• What do you call an Asian Irishman? A rice p**....
• A Mafia hit-man was arrested for killing a man in a rice field with a porcelain figurine The police said this is the first known case of a knick knack p**... whack.
• What do you call a half Chinese half Irishman? A Rice p**....
• What do you call a someone who is a mix heritage between and Asian and and Irish? rice p**...

Fried Rice Jokes

Here is a list of funny fried rice jokes and even better fried rice puns that will make you laugh with friends.

• Every time I go to dinner with my parents, they constantly argue about the mashed potatoes, rice or french fries... And I always tell them that I'm not choosing sides…
• I never order shrimp-fried rice. Call me old fashioned, but I like my food to be prepared by a human.
• A shrimp fried this rice joke What did the fried rice say to the shrimp?
  Don't wok away from me!
• Asian stereotype joke An Asian man walks up to a fast food restaurant for takeout.
  He says "Flied lice please."
  He leaves but comes back a minute later
  "This is fried rice, I ordered flied lice."
• Why are Asians such bad drivers? Because fried rice can make you drowsy.
• Ladies love me like white on rice Fried rice.
• I've got s**... women on me like white on rice Fried rice that is.

Grains Rice Jokes

Here is a list of funny grains rice jokes and even better grains rice puns that will make you laugh with friends.

• A man exclaims, "I would die to fulfill my quest.. to create the perfect grain blend. I would make.. ..the ultimate sack of rice."
• What does Supertramp do after buying rice? They take the long-grain home.
• An African man was found lying on the ground with a grain of rice next to him in the morning, what happened? He was vomiting the whole night.
• What does two rice grains in the sink mean? Some Somalian has been up all night puking.
• What kind of grains do white supremacists like to eat? Alt-rice
• Received a christmas card todah, inside there was nothing but grains of rice. It was from Uncle Ben.
• What happens when a Chinese person puts a grain of rice on his head? He gets lice in his hair.
• how do you know a Ethiopian beens drinking? There's 2 grains of rice in the sink

Rice Cooker Jokes

Here is a list of funny rice cooker jokes and even better rice cooker puns that will make you laugh with friends.

• What was the original name of the atomic bomb dropped on Japan? The rice cooker 3000
• Got a new rice cooker recently. I think she's finally starting to grasp the English language.
• What do you call your Japanese wife? A rice cooker.
• What's the difference between a Chinese and a Thai girl? One is a rice cooker, the other is a nice h**....
  (I know this one's bad, SCNR.)

Fun-Filled Rice Jokes to Boost Your Mood

What funny jokes about rice you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean rams jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make rice pranks.