JokoJokes

Ribs Jokes

83 ribs jokes and hilarious ribs puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about ribs that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.

This article is full of ribs jokes that are sure to make you laugh out loud. From clever puns to funny one-liners, these jokes will have you rolling on the floor. So if you're looking for a good laugh, read on and enjoy these ribs jokes.

Funniest Ribs Short Jokes

Short ribs jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The ribs humour may include short broken rib jokes also.

  1. Just went to a bbq place.. Me: I'll have 6 ribs please
    Waiter: We only serve those in quantities of 3, 5, 7, or 13.

    Turns out it was prime rib.
  2. my doctor said for every upvote this gets, i will lose one rib I only need 24 and then I can finally give myself head
  3. how do you know that adam and eve were white have you ever tried taking a rib from a black man
  4. I'm currently on a restaurant date with a female boxer. She's going for the ribs.
    I might try a duck.
  5. Old aunts used to come up to me at weddings, poke me in the ribs and say "You're next! You're next!" They stopped when I started doing the same at funerals.
  6. A guy asks his friend to rub some beef fat on his ribs His friend refuses saying he won't assist in a suet side!
    (My first OC post, thought up while cooking dinner. Improvement suggestions welcome)
  7. What is a skeletons favorite snack? Ribs.
    My son wanted me to post this one too!
    Happy Halloween!
  8. You know how I know Adam was white? Because, have you ever seen a black man share his ribs?
  9. It's funny that condoms are ribbed for her pleasure... Because in Genesis, God ribbed Adam for Eve.
  10. Why did God only use 1 of Adam's ribs to make Eve? Because if He had taken 2 of them, Adam wouldn't have needed her!

Share These Ribs Jokes With Friends




Ribs One Liners

Which ribs one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with ribs? I can suggest the ones about ribbed and rubs.

  1. Since Eve was created from Adam's ribs... That technically makes her Adam's side chick.
  2. Why wasn't Adam black? Did you ever try taking a rib from a black man?
  3. How do you know Adam was a white man? You ever try to take a rib from a brotha?
  4. My son told me the Bible is very clear, there are two genders. Dirt and ribs.
  5. I guarantee you Adam & Eve were white. You ever try and take a rib from a black man?
  6. Where do you imprison a skeleton? In a rib cage.
  7. Ribbed condoms are misleading They don't even taste like ribs
  8. Vegan ribs are delicious… The hard part is capturing the vegan.
  9. I just found out vegan ribs are delicious. It must be their vegetarian diet.
  10. Doctor: "Your x-ray showed a broken rib... ... but we fixed it with Photoshop."
  11. Why do gay men use ribbed condoms? Traction in the mud.
  12. What is a Skeleton's favorite meal? Spare Ribs
  13. What's the quickest way to a woman's heart? The rib cage.
  14. How do you make a frog more pleasurable? Rib it
  15. I'm so selfish.... I wear ribbed condoms inside out.

Broken Ribs Jokes

Here is a list of funny broken ribs jokes and even better broken ribs puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • Stephen Hawking went on a date the other day. When he went back to his family, he had a dislocated shoulder, 2 broken ribs, and a popped kneecap. It was because she stood him up.
  • Whoever said laughter is the best medicine wasn't recovering from a broken rib.

Spare Ribs Jokes

Here is a list of funny spare ribs jokes and even better spare ribs puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • What do skeletons order at restaurants? Spare ribs.
  • I tried cooking Chinese spare ribs in the oven instead of the pan. I'll tell you it was a walk in the park compared to the pork in the wok.
  • Why did the skeleton go to a barbecue? He broke his ribs and needed spares.
  • What does a skeleton orders at a restaurant? Spare ribs.
  • I hope it doesn't rain on Memorial Day. Or else we're going to have a lot of *spare* ribs.
  • Q: What does a skeleton order at a restaurant?
    A: Spare ribs!
  • Q: What does a skeleton order at a restaurant?
    A: Spare ribs!
  • Q: What does a skeleton order at a restaurant?
    A: Spare ribs!
  • What's a skeleton's favorite dish? Spare ribs
Ribs joke, What's a skeleton's favorite dish?

Broke Ribs Jokes

Here is a list of funny broke ribs jokes and even better broke ribs puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • I hit 350lbs on the bench press today And I think I broke a rib after I fell on it..
  • The last time I played tackle football without pads l broke three ribs and a collar bone. Fortunately, none of them were mine.

Cracking Ribs Jokes

Here is a list of funny cracking ribs jokes and even better cracking ribs puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • What's a chiropractor's favorite food? Baby crack ribs.
Ribs joke, What's a chiropractor's favorite food?

Comedy Ribs Jokes to Make Your Friends Giggle

What funny jokes about ribs you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean prime rib jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make ribs pranks.

A mugger

Late one night, a mugger wearing a ski mask jumped into the path of a well-dressed man and stuck a gun in his ribs.
"Give me your money," he demanded.
Indignant, the affluent man replied, "You can't do this, I'm a United States Congressman!"
"In that case," replied the mugger, "give me MY money."

Rib jokes?

My mom just broke one of her ribs shoveling snow. (Really mom? You're 60 years old, with a snowblower, with a husband who was literally 10 minutes away from coming home) Anyway, does anyone have any good jokes involving ribs? I know the Adam/Eve ones...any others?

Women Think Differently

Husband's Text Message by cell phone:
"Honey, got hit by car when I was out of office. Paula brought me to Hospital. They're doing tests and X-rays now. Blow to my head very strong, fortunately it didn't cause serious injury, but I have three broken ribs, a compound fracture in left leg, and they may have to amputate right foot.
Wife's Text Response by Cell Phone:
"Who's Paula?"

Adam and Eve were arguing.

On and on, she kept pestering him, asking, "Where have you been all night?"
"Just out walking," Adam insisted as he closed his eyes and prayed for sleep to overtake him.
It seemed like only moments later he was awakened by someone poking him in the chest. It was Eve.
"What do you think you're doing?" Adam demanded.
"Counting your ribs," said Eve.

What did the perverted sauce say to the Chinese Ribs?

.. I'm only Peking.

A husband sends a text to his wife.

Honey, I got hit by a car outside of the office. Tina brought me to the hospital. They have been taking tests and doing x-rays. The blow to my head is very strong, may be serious. Also, I have 3 broken ribs, a broken arm, a compound fracture on my left leg and they may have to amputate the right foot.
Wife's Response:
Who is Tina?

What's the quickest way to a man's heart?

Through the fourth and fifth ribs

Vegan ribs are actually delicious!

The hardest part is hunting down the vegan.

The Way Women Think

Husband's Message (by text):
"Darling, I got hit by a car outside the office. Paula brought me to the hospital. They have been doing tests and taking X-rays. The blow to my head though very strong, should not have any serious or lasting effect but, I have three broken ribs, a broken arm, a compound fracture of the left leg and they may have to amputate my right foot. Fingers crossed!"
Wife's Response:
"Who's Paula?"

Not to toot my own horn but..

I got my bottom 2 ribs removed

Late one night a mugger wearing a ski mask jumped into a path of...

Late one night a mugger wearing a ski mask jumped into a path of a well-dressed man and stuck a gun in his ribs
"give me your money," he demanded.
Indignant, the affluent man replied, "you can't do this, I am a United States congressman!"
In that case," replied the mugger,


"give me my money."

While the Lord God put Adam to sleep to remove one rib

Bill Cosby put Eve to sleep to add twelve ribs

Thief and a congressman

A thief stuck a p**... in a man's ribs and said, Give me your money. The gentleman, shocked by the sudden attack, said You cannot do this, I'm a United States congressman! The thief said, In that case, give me my money!

Mugged in D.C

A mugger stops a well-dressed man with a gun to his ribs and says "Give me your money"
The man replies back "You can't do this – I'm a US Congressman!"
"Oh! In that case," says the robber, "Give me MY money!"

A congressman was walking down the street

A congressman was walking down the street when suddenly a thief jumps in front of him. The thief stuck a p**... in a man's ribs and said, Give me your money. The gentleman, shocked by the sudden attack, said You cannot do this, I'm a United States congressman! The thief said, In that case, give me my money!

My wife cooked ribs last night.

I accidentally dropped one on the floor, but still picked it up and took a bite.
She yelled, "that's disgusting!"
I replied, "well, you're the one that cooked it!"

When I was single my old Aunt used to come up to me at family weddings

And poke me in the ribs and say, "you're next." she stopped after I did the same to her at a f**....

Late one night a mugger wearing a mask !!!

Late one night a mugger wearing a mask stopped a well-dressed man and stuck a gun in his ribs. "Give me your money," he demanded. Scandalized, the man replied, "You can't do this – I'm a US Congressman!" "Oh! In that case," smiled the robber, "Give me MY money!

Why are ribs so good?

Because you get a better grip.

How do nymphomaniacs like their barbecue ribs?

Bonin'.

A blonde teen goes to the doctor complaining of chest pain

Doctor : I guess I need see an x Ray to determine any damage to ribs
Blonde : Promise to delete after seeing

Husband says'' Honey, it's me. I don't want to alarm you but

. . . I was hit by a car as I was leaving the office. Paula brought me to the hospital. They've checked me over and dome some tests and x-rays. The blow to my head was severe. Fortunately, it didn't cause any serious internal injury. However, I have three broken ribs, a compound fracture in the left leg, and they think they might have to amputate my right foot.''
Wife : ''Who's Paula?''

A man walks into the doctors.

He says dr it hurts when I touch here
And touches his arm
It also hurts here
And touches his ribs
and here
And touches his back
It hurts here too
And touches his calf
It hurts here
And touches his elbow
and here
And touches his head
It even hurts here
And touches his abdomen
And the dr says -
Yeah you have a broken finger.

The best way to a man's heart...

...is to go underneath the ribs.

After Adam and Eve arrived in Eden, he stayed out late a few nights wandering the garden.

Eve became suspicious.
Are you running around with another woman? Eve fired off.
What other woman? Adam exclaimed You're it!
That night, Adam was awakened by Eve poking him in the chest.
What are you doing?
Counting your ribs.

Why did the Astronomer bring a slab of ribs into the bathroom?

He wanted to witness a meatier shower.

The mugger

One night, a mugger wearing a ski mask jumped into the path of a well-dressed man and stuck a gun in his ribs.
"Give me your money," he demanded.
Indignant, the affluent man replied, "You can't do this- I'm a US Congressman!"
"In that case," replied the robber, "Give me MY money!"

A thief stuck a p**... in a man's ribs and said, Give me your money. The gentleman, shocked by the sudden attack, said: You cannot do this, I'm a United States congressman!

The thief said, In that case, give me my money!

A foreign country's leader was cooking a small p**... of prime ribs

While cooking, he stirred the p**.... It was a prime mini stir

A drunk staggers into a bar demanding a beer.

The bartender informs him that he is not allowed to serve alcohol to drunken patrons. After a few harsh words, the bartender suggested that the drunk prove he isn't drunk by doing twenty push-ups on the floor.
As he was doing the push-ups, another drunk staggers into the bar and sees this guy on the floor doing push-ups.
He looks at him for a minute and then nudges him in the ribs saying, "Hey, Pal, I think your girl friend has gone home."

Sometimes women are overly suspicious of their husbands.

When Adam stayed out very late for a few nights, Eve became upset. 
"You're running around with other women." she charged. 
"You're being very unreasonable," Adam responded. "You're the only woman on Earth." 
The quarrel continued until Adam fell asleep, only to be awakened by someone poking him in the chest. It was Eve. 
"Just what do you think you're doing?" Adam demanded. 
"Counting your ribs," replied Eve

What's a skeleton's favorite dinner?

Ribs

Adam was returning home late one night at paradise after drinking with the dodo and the unicorn.

Eve got angry and yelled at him: "YOU ARE SEEING ANOTHER WOMAN!"
Adam responded: "Don't be silly, you are the only woman on earth", and went to sleep.
Later that night Adam woke up, feeling a tickle in his chest and saw it was Eve.
"What the heck are you doing?" he asked
"I'm counting your ribs," she responded.

For my Cake day I would like to share my biologist wife's favorite joke.

Two girls are giving relationship advice to their friend.
The confectioner says:
"The quickest way to a man's heart is through his stomach." And offers to help the girl bake a cake.
The doctor says:
"That is actually false, the quickest way to a man's heart is through the fourth and fifth ribs."

Trying to teach English is very frustrating

I mean how hard is it to understand that "I peppered salt on my baked fries and boneless ribs?"

An insurance agent approaches a cowboy, trying to sell him an accident policy.

The agent inquires, "Have you ever had an accident?"
"Never," the cowboy responds. "However, just recently a horse kicked in two of my ribs, and back a couple years ago a rattlesnake bit my ankle."
"Wouldn't you call these accidents?" says the puzzled agent.
"Nah," the cowboy replies. "They both did it on purpose!"

Ribs joke, What is a Skeleton's favorite meal?

jokes about ribs