Rib Jokes
91 rib jokes and hilarious rib puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about rib that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
Laugh out loud at these rib jokes! Satisfy your funny bone with classic rib cracking gags and new age jokes. Read jokes about broken ribs, BBQ ribs, Prime Ribs, sore ribs, bruised ribs, and more funny vertebrae gags. Nicolas Cain will make sure you'll have tears running down your face in no time!
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Funniest Rib Short Jokes
Short rib jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The rib humour may include short broken rib jokes also.
- Just went to a bbq place.. Me: I'll have 6 ribs please
Waiter: We only serve those in quantities of 3, 5, 7, or 13.
Turns out it was prime rib. - my doctor said for every upvote this gets, i will lose one rib I only need 24 and then I can finally give myself head
- how do you know that adam and eve were white have you ever tried taking a rib from a black man
- I'm currently on a restaurant date with a female boxer. She's going for the ribs.
I might try a duck. - Old aunts used to come up to me at weddings, poke me in the ribs and say "You're next! You're next!" They stopped when I started doing the same at funerals.
- A guy asks his friend to rub some beef fat on his ribs His friend refuses saying he won't assist in a suet side!
(My first OC post, thought up while cooking dinner. Improvement suggestions welcome) - What is a skeletons favorite snack? Ribs.
My son wanted me to post this one too!
Happy Halloween! - You know how I know Adam was white? Because, have you ever seen a black man share his ribs?
- It's funny that condoms are ribbed for her pleasure... Because in Genesis, God ribbed Adam for Eve.
- Why did God only use 1 of Adam's ribs to make Eve? Because if He had taken 2 of them, Adam wouldn't have needed her!
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Rib One Liners
Which rib one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with rib? I can suggest the ones about prime rib and evolution.
- Since Eve was created from Adam's ribs... That technically makes her Adam's side chick.
- Why wasn't Adam black? Did you ever try taking a rib from a black man?
- How do you know Adam was a white man? You ever try to take a rib from a brotha?
- My son told me the Bible is very clear, there are two genders. Dirt and ribs.
- I guarantee you Adam & Eve were white. You ever try and take a rib from a black man?
- Where do you imprison a skeleton? In a rib cage.
- Ribbed condoms are misleading They don't even taste like ribs
- Vegan ribs are delicious… The hard part is capturing the vegan.
- I just found out vegan ribs are delicious. It must be their vegetarian diet.
- Doctor: "Your x-ray showed a broken rib... ... but we fixed it with Photoshop."
- Why do gay men use ribbed condoms? Traction in the mud.
- What is a Skeleton's favorite meal? Spare Ribs
- What's the quickest way to a woman's heart? The rib cage.
- How do you make a frog more pleasurable? Rib it
- I'm so selfish.... I wear ribbed condoms inside out.
Prime Rib Jokes
Here is a list of funny prime rib jokes and even better prime rib puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- A Prime Rib, A Baked Potato, and a Garden Salad walk into a bar... The bartender snaps his head away from the newspaper and yells, "Beat it, guys!" "We don't serve food!"
- What is the first derivative of a cow? A prime rib.
- what was adam's nickname for eve? prime rib
- What was served at the mathematicians' banquet? Angle hair pasta and prime rib.
- What kind of ribs did Megatron have in mind? Prime.
- Growing up my family always had prime rib Now in college I went to the store and bought one, how do you microwave it?
- What is the best food to order from Amazon? Prime Rib
- If this bar is a meat market, you must be the prime rib!
- My son asked me if I ordered anything on prime day. I said "ribs"
- What kind of meat isn't cuttable? Prime rib!
*rimshot*
Broken Rib Jokes
Here is a list of funny broken rib jokes and even better broken rib puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- Stephen Hawking went on a date the other day. When he went back to his family, he had a dislocated shoulder, 2 broken ribs, and a popped kneecap. It was because she stood him up.
- Whoever said laughter is the best medicine wasn't recovering from a broken rib.
Spare Rib Jokes
Here is a list of funny spare rib jokes and even better spare rib puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- What do skeletons order at restaurants? Spare ribs.
- I tried cooking Chinese spare ribs in the oven instead of the pan. I'll tell you it was a walk in the park compared to the pork in the wok.
- Why did the skeleton go to a barbecue? He broke his ribs and needed spares.
- What does a skeleton orders at a restaurant? Spare ribs.
- I hope it doesn't rain on Memorial Day. Or else we're going to have a lot of *spare* ribs.
- Q: What does a skeleton order at a restaurant?
A: Spare ribs! - Q: What does a skeleton order at a restaurant?
A: Spare ribs! - Q: What does a skeleton order at a restaurant?
A: Spare ribs! - What's a skeleton's favorite dish? Spare ribs
Bbq Rib Jokes
Here is a list of funny bbq rib jokes and even better bbq rib puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- My mommy always told me to finish off my vegetables... ...so I kidnapped my paraplegic roommate, killed him, skinned him, took his meat & made a mince pie and BBQ ribs.
- What's Rand Paul's favorite BBQ dish? Ribs.
Ridiculous Rib Jokes to Spark Fun and Laughter
What funny jokes about rib you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean eve jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make rib pranks.
God said to Adam "I'm going to make you a woman"
God: "She's going to clean for you, cook anything you want whenever you want it, always look beautiful, never be bad tempered, give you children, always obedient, and she'll never argue with you."
Adam: "That sounds great, but what'll it cost me?"
God: "Oh, an arm and a leg."
Adam: "That's a bit steep. What can I get for a rib?"
After God created Adam, Adam came to God and said, You created all the animals and each one has a mate, but I'm alone. Can you create me one also?
God replied, Well Adam, I can create a mate for you. It will be the crown of my creation, someone who will serve you, and your every need and desire. The most beautiful and loving creature. She will take care of you always , and give you all the respect that is deserving of you. The only thing is, it will cost you an arm and a leg.
Adam thought for a second and said, What do you got for a rib?
Adam spoke to God in the Garden of Eden
"I am lonely" said Adam. "I need someone around for company."
"Very well," said God. "I will create a companion for you. One who will obey your every word, do all your chores along with cooking and cleaning for you."
"Wonderful!" said Adam. "What will it take?"
"For you, it will cost an arm and a leg" said God.
"That seems pretty steep" said Adam. "What could I get for just a rib?"
Adam is in the Garden of Eden and is feeling lonely. So he asks God for someone to share his existence with.
God answers of course, I can create a being that will support you no matter what you do, provide for you, and never argue .
Adam is excited and asks that sounds perfect, what will it cost me
An arm and a leg
….what can I get for a rib?
God see's Adam feeling depressed, and he decides help him out.
God says, " Adam, I will make you a companion who will cook for you, clean for you, do your laundry and please you in every way you can imagine".
Adam says, "Wow! This sounds great, but what will it cost me?"
God replies,"An arm and a leg".
Adam thinks about this for a second and says, "What can I get for a rib?"
Adam's new wife
Adam had been in the garden of Eden for several years without someone to share his life with. One day, he asked God for a companion.
God said to him, "I can give you a wife that will be everything you could dream of. Humble and submissive, she will make your life nothing but pleasurable. However, to make her I'll need an arm and a leg."
Adam says, "Aw what, that s**...! What can I get for a rib?"
If you want to have s**... with a frog, use a c**...
If you want to enjoy it, rib it
At the Creation of Women
God: Adam, it would cost you but would you like me to make you a woman?
Adam: Yes. But what is a woman My Lord?
God: A woman is a wonderful creature that would obey ALL your commands and fufil ALL your desires
Adam: What would it cost me?
God: Only an arm and a leg
Adam: Uh, what can I get for a rib?
Adam was lonely
He said "God, all the creatures have their mates but I am alone".
God thought for a minute and said "I will make you a perfect companion. She will be lovely, kind, attentive and will fulfill your every desire. I'll need from you two fingers, a kidney and one of your t**...".
Adam thought for a minute and said "What can I get for a rib?"
How do you make a c**... for frogs?
Rib it.
A doctor, an engineer, and a politician we're arguing over the oldest profession
The doctor said "in the Bible, Eve was made from Adam's rib, so the first profession was a surgeon." The engineer said, "God made the earth from chaos in 7 days, so engineering is the first profession." The politician said, "who do you think you made the chaos?"
A Catholic Priest told this joke at a Wedding.
Adam woke up in the Garden of Eden. After a while of wandering around he became sad. God came to him and asked "Adam, why are you sad? I have created this amazing garden for you." Adam replies, "Why does every other being have mate and I do not?" God replies " Very well I will create for you a perfect mate. But it will cost you an arm and a leg." Adam thinks for a bit and then replies "What can I get for a rib?"
The Bidens went out to a restaurant.
The waiter serving them asked Jill Biden for her order first.
"To start, I'll have the french onion soup. Then the prime rib, medium-rare, with a baked potato, with butter and sour cream."
"Excellent, Doctor. What about the vegetable?"
"Oh, he'll have the same thing."
(Yes, it's an oldie...)
God came to Adam and said I'm going to give you something wonderful, something perfect, something that will make you happy. What's it going to cost me Adam asked?
God said It will cost you your right arm. What can I get for a rib? Adam asked.
NASA had a supply of rib eye on the last flight to the international space station to see how meat cooked in space. They called it their most important mission.
Because the steaks were never higher.
If you're going to have s**... with a frog, at least wear a c**....
If you want him to enjoy it, then rib it.
How do we now Adam and Eve weren't black?
Not even God could take a rib from a black man!
I made love to my wife last night but instead of using a normal c**..., I used a frog skin…
I thought I'd rib it for her pleasure.
Adam's discussion with God
So Adam is walking around the Garden of Eden and he calls out to God that he's kinda bored and lonely. He asks God if he can create someone who is kind and admires and serves him(Adam) in every way. God responds He can, but it's going to cost an arm and a leg, so Adam asks what he can get for a rib.
One day Adam said to God...
... "God, you let me live in paradise with all your creatures, but I'm lonely that there isn't one like me".
God replies "In that case I will make you a Woman. She will be the most beautiful thing you have ever seen and will take care of all your needs. All I need from you is an arm and a leg"
Adam thinks for a moment and asks "what can I get for a rib?"
I hit 350lbs on the bench press today
And I think I broke a rib after I fell on it..
What is the proof that Adam was white?
Even God couldn't get a rib away from a black man.
Adam was getting lonely so he asked God, How much for a woman? God replied, Two arms and a leg.
Adam then asked him, What can I get for a rib?
Do you know why God made Adam and Eve white?
Ever try taking a rib from a black guy?
Adam: God, I appreciate everything you've done for me, but this earth is kind of lonely.
God: Well Adam. I can create for you a beautiful woman who cooks and cleans and fulfills all your desires.
Adam: ooooh sounds expensive. What's it gonna cost me.
God: An arm, leg and your right nut.
Adam: What can I get for a rib?
Fin.
Everyone's heard of w**... brownies.
But of a buddy of mine recently had a fierce competition on injecting h**... oil into rib eyes and who could cook the better piece.
Boy I'll tell you… the steaks were high.
God said man should not be alone.
God told Adam, it is not good for you to be alone, I will make you a woman! She will do all the work, hunting , fishing cooking and cleaning, she will never say no to s**... and will do all your bidding, you will have it made. What do you think said God? Adam replied what will this cost me ? God replied this will cost you an arm and leg . Adam then asked God what can I get for just a rib ? AND THE REST MY FRIEND IS HISTORY.
What advice did the frog give to the c**... manufacturer?
Rib it.
Rib jokes?
My mom just broke one of her ribs shoveling snow. (Really mom? You're 60 years old, with a snowblower, with a husband who was literally 10 minutes away from coming home) Anyway, does anyone have any good jokes involving ribs? I know the Adam/Eve ones...any others?
A lot of people aren't aware that one of the biggest c**...-engineering breakthroughs actually came from a frog.
It was his idea to rib it.
While the Lord God put Adam to sleep to remove one rib
Bill Cosby put Eve to sleep to add twelve ribs
"Honey, I just got into a terrible bike accident..
... So I don't think I can pick up the groceries on the way home. I think I broke my legs and maybe even a fractured rib. I'm bleeding all over too. Diane is bringing me to the hospital right now."
"Who's Diane?"
Girl's priorities.
Immediately following the creation of Eve, Adam says to God
"Why'd you have too use my rib?"
"Oh, its symbolic. Now you have a pain in your side!"
Batman at McDonald's
What's your chicken sandwich called?
- A McChicken
And the rib?
- A McRib
[Pulls out his Batwallet] I like your style.
How do we know Adam and Eve were white?
Ever try to steal a rib from a black man?
How did you know that Adam wasn't black?
Because you wouldn't take a rib from a black man
Why doesn't h**... like Prime Rib?
Because he doesn't like Au Jus
Why weren't Rib and Femur admitted to the party?
They weren't Hip.
I work as a product designer for a c**... company. This annoying frog keeps advising me on my designs.
"Rib it! Rib it!"
