Rib Jokes
80 rib jokes and hilarious rib puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about rib that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
Laugh out loud at these rib jokes! Satisfy your funny bone with classic rib cracking gags and new age jokes. Read jokes about broken ribs, BBQ ribs, Prime Ribs, sore ribs, bruised ribs, and more funny vertebrae gags. Nicolas Cain will make sure you'll have tears running down your face in no time!
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Funniest Rib Short Jokes
Short rib jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The rib humour may include short broken rib jokes also.
- Just went to a bbq place.. Me: I'll have 6 ribs please
Waiter: We only serve those in quantities of 3, 5, 7, or 13.
Turns out it was prime rib. - I'm currently on a restaurant date with a female boxer. She's going for the ribs.
I might try a duck. - A guy asks his friend to rub some beef fat on his ribs His friend refuses saying he won't assist in a suet side!
(My first OC post, thought up while cooking dinner. Improvement suggestions welcome) - What is a skeletons favorite snack? Ribs.
My son wanted me to post this one too!
Happy Halloween! - It's funny that condoms are ribbed for her pleasure... Because in Genesis, God ribbed Adam for Eve.
- Why did God only use 1 of Adam's ribs to make Eve? Because if He had taken 2 of them, Adam wouldn't have needed her!
- A blonde teen goes to the doctor complaining of chest pain Doctor : I guess I need see an x Ray to determine any damage to ribs
Blonde : Promise to delete after seeing - NASA had a supply of rib eye on the last flight to the international space station to see how meat cooked in space. They called it their most important mission. Because the steaks were never higher.
- Adam, the first human, walks into a comedy club. He hears a funny joke and totally splits a rib… Now his chest hurts and he has to drive Eve home.
(An original, by yours truly.) - Why did the Astronomer bring a slab of ribs into the bathroom? He wanted to witness a meatier shower.
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Rib One Liners
Which rib one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with rib? I can suggest the ones about prime rib and evolution.
- Where do you imprison a skeleton? In a rib cage.
- Ribbed condoms are misleading They don't even taste like ribs
- Vegan ribs are delicious… The hard part is capturing the vegan.
- I just found out vegan ribs are delicious. It must be their vegetarian diet.
- Doctor: "Your x-ray showed a broken rib... ... but we fixed it with Photoshop."
- Why do gay men use ribbed condoms? Traction in the mud.
- What is a Skeleton's favorite meal? Spare Ribs
- What's the quickest way to a woman's heart? The rib cage.
- How do you make a frog more pleasurable? Rib it
- I'm so selfish.... I wear ribbed condoms inside out.
- What do skeletons order at restaurants? Spare ribs.
- Not to toot my own horn but.. I got my bottom 2 ribs removed
- What's a chiropractor's favorite food? Baby crack ribs.
- I hit 350lbs on the bench press today And I think I broke a rib after I fell on it..
- Why are ribs so good? Because you get a better grip.
Prime Rib Jokes
Here is a list of funny prime rib jokes and even better prime rib puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- A Prime Rib, A Baked Potato, and a Garden Salad walk into a bar... The bartender snaps his head away from the newspaper and yells, "Beat it, guys!" "We don't serve food!"
- What is the first derivative of a cow? A prime rib.
- what was adam's nickname for eve? prime rib
- What was served at the mathematicians' banquet? Angle hair pasta and prime rib.
- What kind of ribs did Megatron have in mind? Prime.
- Growing up my family always had prime rib Now in college I went to the store and bought one, how do you microwave it?
- What is the best food to order from Amazon? Prime Rib
- If this bar is a meat market, you must be the prime rib!
- My son asked me if I ordered anything on prime day. I said "ribs"
- What kind of meat isn't cuttable? Prime rib!
*rimshot*
Broken Rib Jokes
Here is a list of funny broken rib jokes and even better broken rib puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- Whoever said laughter is the best medicine wasn't recovering from a broken rib.
Rib Cage Jokes
Here is a list of funny rib cage jokes and even better rib cage puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- So nicolas cage plays the human Johnny Blaze... But Nicolas Rib-Cage plays the ghost rider
- What's the most prominent feature in Ethiopians? Their rib cage.
- There's only one way to get a girl's heart... And that's through her rib cage
Bbq Rib Jokes
Here is a list of funny bbq rib jokes and even better bbq rib puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- What's Rand Paul's favorite BBQ dish? Ribs.
Ridiculous Rib Jokes to Spark Fun and Laughter
What funny jokes about rib you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean filet jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make rib pranks.
After God created Adam, Adam came to God and said, You created all the animals and each one has a mate, but I'm alone. Can you create me one also?
God replied, Well Adam, I can create a mate for you. It will be the crown of my creation, someone who will serve you, and your every need and desire. The most beautiful and loving creature. She will take care of you always , and give you all the respect that is deserving of you. The only thing is, it will cost you an arm and a leg.
Adam thought for a second and said, What do you got for a rib?
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
If you want to have s**... with a frog, use a c**...
If you want to enjoy it, rib it
A doctor, an engineer, and a politician we're arguing over the oldest profession
The doctor said "in the Bible, Eve was made from Adam's rib, so the first profession was a surgeon." The engineer said, "God made the earth from chaos in 7 days, so engineering is the first profession." The politician said, "who do you think you made the chaos?"
A Catholic Priest told this joke at a Wedding.
Adam woke up in the Garden of Eden. After a while of wandering around he became sad. God came to him and asked "Adam, why are you sad? I have created this amazing garden for you." Adam replies, "Why does every other being have mate and I do not?" God replies " Very well I will create for you a perfect mate. But it will cost you an arm and a leg." Adam thinks for a bit and then replies "What can I get for a rib?"
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
I made love to my wife last night but instead of using a normal c**..., I used a frog skin…
I thought I'd rib it for her pleasure.
Adam's discussion with God
So Adam is walking around the Garden of Eden and he calls out to God that he's kinda bored and lonely. He asks God if he can create someone who is kind and admires and serves him(Adam) in every way. God responds He can, but it's going to cost an arm and a leg, so Adam asks what he can get for a rib.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Adam: God, I appreciate everything you've done for me, but this earth is kind of lonely.
God: Well Adam. I can create for you a beautiful woman who cooks and cleans and fulfills all your desires.
Adam: ooooh sounds expensive. What's it gonna cost me.
God: An arm, leg and your right nut.
Adam: What can I get for a rib?
Fin.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Everyone's heard of w**... brownies.
But of a buddy of mine recently had a fierce competition on injecting h**... oil into rib eyes and who could cook the better piece.
Boy I'll tell you… the steaks were high.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
What advice did the frog give to the c**... manufacturer?
Rib it.
Rib jokes?
My mom just broke one of her ribs shoveling snow. (Really mom? You're 60 years old, with a snowblower, with a husband who was literally 10 minutes away from coming home) Anyway, does anyone have any good jokes involving ribs? I know the Adam/Eve ones...any others?
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A lot of people aren't aware that one of the biggest c**...-engineering breakthroughs actually came from a frog.
It was his idea to rib it.
While the Lord God put Adam to sleep to remove one rib
Bill Cosby put Eve to sleep to add twelve ribs
"Honey, I just got into a terrible bike accident..
... So I don't think I can pick up the groceries on the way home. I think I broke my legs and maybe even a fractured rib. I'm bleeding all over too. Diane is bringing me to the hospital right now."
"Who's Diane?"
Girl's priorities.
Immediately following the creation of Eve, Adam says to God
"Why'd you have too use my rib?"
"Oh, its symbolic. Now you have a pain in your side!"
Batman at McDonald's
What's your chicken sandwich called?
- A McChicken
And the rib?
- A McRib
[Pulls out his Batwallet] I like your style.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Why doesn't h**... like Prime Rib?
Because he doesn't like Au Jus
Why weren't Rib and Femur admitted to the party?
They weren't Hip.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
I work as a product designer for a c**... company. This annoying frog keeps advising me on my designs.
"Rib it! Rib it!"
We should say RIB to people before they sleep
Rest In Bed
As with all Apple products...
...it'll cost you a rib to get repaired...
If God made a woman from taking a rib from Adam.
Did that make her his side chick?
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A toad asks his wife if he should wear a normal c**..., or a ribbed one.
Her response: Rib it.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
God is a terrible vendor!
He created woman from a rib, but he never fixed the bugs or issued any updates!
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Four professionals.
Four friends were going out for coffee when they spotted a h**..., the worlds oldest profession says one. The Doctor among them said No, My profession is the oldest. It says in the Bible that God created woman from Adam's rib. That's the work of a surgeon
Ahhhh says the second friend, but first God moulded Adam from the dust of the earth. That's the job of an artist.
Hmmm, can't disagree with that, but before God got on to making mankind, he created order out of chaos. That is clearly the job of an engineer.
But where do you think the chaos came from said the fourth friend, a lawyer.
A medic, an architect and a programmer are talking about who's job is the oldest.
A medic, an architect and a programmer are talking about who's job is the oldest.
The medic says: "My job is the oldest because when God made Eve from Adams rib, that was a medical procedure."
The architect says: "Hold up! Before Adam and Eve, God created the universe. That's an architects job - to make something out of chaos."
The programmer then says: "Now wait a minute, who do you think was responsible for all the chaos?"
What do you call ribs who break the law?
A Crime Rib.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Adam asked God for a partner...
Adam saw that the animals in the Garden of Eden had a companion, and he asked God to make one for Adam, too.
"Ok," God replied, "I can make you a perfect partner. Someone who will stand by you, satisfy you as you satisfy her, build you up as you build up her, and provide the exact compliment to you. But I will need to take one of your eyes, one of your hands, one of your ears, and one of your t**...."
Adam thought about it for a while. Then he asked, "What can I get for a rib?"
A physician, an engineer, and a politician were discussing who among them belonged to the oldest of the three professions.
The physician said, "Remember, on the sixth day God took a rib from Adam and fashioned Eve, making him the first surgeon. Therefore, medicine is the oldest profession."
The engineer replied, "But, before that, God created the heavens and earth from chaos and confusion, and thus he was the first engineer. Therefore, engineering is an older profession than medicine."
Then, the politician spoke up. "Yes," he said,
"But who do you think created all of the chaos and confusion?"
One night Eve shook Adam awake and asked him "Adam, are you cheating on me?"
Adam groggily replied "No, of course not Eve... Go back to sleep!"
About an hour later Eve shook Adam awake again. "How do I know you aren't cheating on me?"
Adam said "Look Eve, you are the only woman in the world, made by God from my very own rib. I love you and I would never cheat on you. Now, please go back to sleep!"
Another hour passes and suddenly Eve begins poking Adam in the chest. "EVE" yells Adam, "What are you doing??!?!"
"Counting your ribs" She replied.
What does a frog do when it barbecues?
Rib it...duh!
The secret of getting ahead is...
not having a rib.
The Oldest Profession
A doctor, an architect, and a computer scientist were arguing about whose profession was the oldest.
In the course of their arguments, they went all the way back to the Garden of Eden. The doctor said, "The medical profession is clearly the oldest because Eve was made from Adam's rib, as the story goes, and that was an incredible surgical feat."
The architect did not agree. He said, "But if you look at the Garden itself, in the beginning there was chaos and void, and out of that, the Garden and the world were created. So God must have been an architect."
The computer scientist, who had listened to all of this said, "Yes, but where do you think the chaos came from?"
Adam & Eve
What did Adam say to Eve when She Threatened to Leave him?
"Can I Have My Rib Back?"
