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Reward Jokes

70 reward jokes and hilarious reward puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about reward that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.

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Funniest Reward Short Jokes

Short reward jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The reward humour may include short award jokes also.

  1. My dad said people shouldn't get ribbons just for participating because it rewards them for losing. So I took down his confederate flag.
  2. My dad says we shouldn't reward people with trophies for participation, because it's like a reward for losing. So I took his vietnam Veteran hat
  3. My grandpa warned people the titanic would sink and no one listened. He kept warning them until they got sick of it and kicked him out of the theater.
  4. The Nigerian Government is now offering a $3m reward for the safe return of the missing girls. All you need to do is provide your name, address, date of birth, bank details and mother's maiden name.
  5. I once had a relationship with a blind woman It was very rewarding but also quite challenging.
    It took me *ages* to get her husband's voice right.
  6. Dating a blind girl is challenging yet rewarding.. It took me forever to get her husbands voice just right
  7. My grandpa was complaining about how participation trophies reward losing So I asked him why he proudly displayed a Confederate Flag
  8. I've been trying to train my dog to play dead, so I started rewarding him with chocolates. I think it worked.
  9. WANTED: A mysterious man keeps waking me up whenever I'm about to sleep! 25,000 dollar reward for information if it leads to a rest.
  10. My dad rewards me when I earn a good report card, but any C s are punished with unbearable dad-jokes. He likes to call it the carrot and schtick method of parenting.

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Reward One Liners

Which reward one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with reward? I can suggest the ones about bonus and gift.

  1. Dead people reward What do dead people get as a reward?
    Atrophy
  2. What reward does a light rain get? A precipitation trophy!
  3. How do Emo kids reward themselves? Gold Scars.
    I'll see myself out.
  4. A man who breaks the world record for longest survived coma is rewarded with atrophy
  5. Atrophy ...it isn't as rewarding as it sounds
  6. How do you reward a chicken journalist? With a poulette surprise!
  7. I fix ruined hospital rooms for a living. It's a rewarding job.
  8. Sometimes when you over-exert yourself to win the game You are rewarded with atrophy.
  9. The reward for a job well done is more work.
  10. Why doesn't Russia reward Olympians who win medals? They already paid for them once
  11. A good pun is its groan reward!
  12. Why did the scarecrow receive a reward He was outstanding in his field
  13. How did the shoemaker reward his employees? With sock options.
  14. Reward: Lost Dog What kind of a reward is a lost dog?
  15. Lost my wife and dog Offering reward for dog

Reward joke, Lost my wife and dog

Make fun with this list of one liners, jokes and riddles. Each joke is crafted with thought and creativity, delivering punchlines that are unexpected and witty. The humor about reward can easily lighten the mood and bring smiles to people's faces. This compilation of reward puns is not just entertaining but also a testament to the art of joke-telling. The jokes in this list are designed to display different humor styles, ensuring that every reader at any age finds something entertaining. Constantly updated, they offer a source of fun that ensures one is always smiling !

Hilarious Fun Reward Jokes to Bring Joy & Laughter with Friends

What funny jokes about reward you can tell and make people laugh? One example I can give are clean earning jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help make reward prank.

Semantics really

I woke up this morning and found a bunch of missing person posters around town that said "Offering reward for any information".
I promptly ran to a phone, called them up and told them my favourite colour was blue.

One day bush went jogging...

One day Bush was out jogging and accidentally fell from a bridge into a very cold river.
Three boys, playing along the river, saw the accident. Without a second thought, they jumped in the water and dragged the wet president out of the river.
After cleaning up he said, Boys, you saved the President of the United States today. You deserve a reward. You name it, I'll give it to you.
The first boy said, Please, I'd like a ticket to Disneyland!
I'll personally hand it to you, said Bush. I'd like a pair of Nike Air Turbos, the second boy said.
I'll buy them myself and give them to you, said Bush. And I'd like a wheelchair with a stereo in it, said the third boy.
I'll personally … wait a second, son, you're not handicapped!
No, but I will be when my father finds out whom I saved from drowning.

Wishes

A woman was walking on the beach when she spotted a lamp almost buried in the sand. She picked it up, dusted it off, and to her surprise a genie popped out.
"Thank you for releasing me from my thousand-year imprisonment! I will grant you the traditional three wishes as a reward. And since you are married, your husband will get double of whatever you wish for."
"But I hate my husband," the woman protested. "He cheated on me and spent all our money -- I've already filed for divorce."
The genie shrugged and told her it was genie law. "OK, whatever," she said, "Give me a hundred million dollars." *p**...!* There were stacks and stacks of newly minted $100 bills piled in front of her. "So, does that mean my husband has *two* hundred million now?"
"Yep," the genie said.
"OK... for my second wish, I want a 100,000 square foot mansion." *p**...!* There was a huge mansion right up on the bluff, and the deed was in her pocket. "So, does that mean my husband gets *two* mansions?"
"Yes indeed. Now, what would you like for your final wish?"
She thought about it for a minute, then snapped her fingers and said, "Genie -- scare me half to death!"

An angel appears at a faculty meeting...

... And tells the dean that in return for his unselfish and exemplary behavior, the Lord will reward him with his choice of infinite wealth, wisdom, or beauty. Without hesitating, the dean selects infinite wisdom.
"Done!" says the angel and disappears in a cloud of smoke and a bolt of lightning. Now, all heads turn toward the dean, who sits surrounded by a faint halo of light. At length one of his colleagues whispers, "Say something."
The dean sighs and says, "I should have taken the money."

First Impressions

A young teenage couple have been dating for a little while, so the girl says to the boy that she wants him to meet her parents. He is a little skeptical at this, but she tells him that if he can make a good impression with them that she will reward him with s**....
Extremely excited at the prospect of losing his virginity, the boy rushes to the local pharmacy to get some protection. However, he is a little embarrassed and unsure of himself. The pharmacist at the counter notices this and walks over to see if he can help. "First time?" the pharmacist guesses. The boy nods sheepishly. So the pharmacist gives him the basics on picking condoms. The boy thanks him, buys some, and leaves.
Finally, the big night arrives and the boy arrives at the girl's house. As the couple and the girl's parents sit down for dinner, they all bow their heads to say grace over the meal. Afterwards, they all look up to start eating, except for the boy, who still has his head bowed in prayer. Respectfully, the girl and her parents sit quietly as he continues praying to himself. After about 5 minutes pass, the girl leans over and whispers to him, "I never knew you were so religious!" He looks up at her and whispers back, "I never knew your dad was a pharmacist!"

Jimbo and Jon, two cowboys see a wanted poster for Indian scalps...

The poster says there will be a fifty dollar reward for each scalp brought back. So Jimbo and Jon decide to try and make some money.
They get supplies together and head straight into Apache territory hoping to find a couple unsuspecting Indians. The first day they manage to sneak up on one and get his scalp, but they figure that fifty dollars isn't a good enough payout and so they set up camp in a valley for the night with the hopes of getting more the next day.
The next morning Jimbo wakes up early and starts cooking some breakfast on the campfire when suddenly all around the whole ridge around their valley campsite hundreds of angry Apache Indians appear holding their spears and bows staring at the Jimbo like death.
Jimbo's eyes go wide and he darts into the tent "Jon! Jon! Wake up!" He yells, shaking Jon awake. "We're gonna be RICH!"

How does that heaven joke go?

Ages ago, I read this joke about a man dying, and as he ascends the pearly staircase, increasingly attractive women with increasingly large amounts of gold urge him a level higher for some really promising reward. Eventually, he reaches the top, and there's a man who makes Jabba the Hutt look like a s**... god, and his name is some kind of s**... pun on the earlier promise.
I just can't for the life of me remember the specifics of the joke. Has anyone else heard it?

An Arab sheikh is dying

... and the only thing that could save him a blood transfusion. But there is a problem - the sheikh has a very rare blood type. After very intensive searches sheik's servants finally find a donor. This happens to be an old Jewish guy who agrees to donate blood in exchange for a substantial reward. The sheikh's life is saved, and he generously rewards the donor with a luxury car and a huge mansion.
Couple of years later, the same story happens. The donor rushes to donate the blood and comes to pick up his reward. Surprisingly for him, he is handed a box of cookies.
"But last time you gave me a car and a mansion"
"Well, last time I had no Jewish blood flowing in me".

Wife takes husband to s**... club for his bday....

A wife decides to reward his good husband for his bday by taking him to a s**... club.
As they walk in the doorman says "welcome Mr. Howard", wife stares at husband with a surprised look, as they sit down the waitress comes over and says "scotch on the rocks Mr Howard", wife starts getting angry, the stripper comes out and starts her routine, as she gets to finale, she asked the audience "who gets the last one", the crowd yells "Mr Howard of course!!", wife gets up and leaves, as they get into the cab she lets the husband have it. The cab driver turns around and says "Mr Howard, you got a feisty one tonight~~"

A farmer and his family are approached by a government worker.

A government worker comes by the farm and tells the farmer that the government has now decided to improve its agriculture and will now reward all the farmers in the country with a mill to be built at no cost to them. The farmer refuses and politely asks the man to leave his property. The worker insists that the farmer allow the government to build him a complimentary mill, stating that no harm will come from this. The farmer again asks the man to leave and left with no choice, he does. The farmer's wife and son ask him "Why didn't you accept the offer?" and the farmer responds back "There's no such thing as a free mill."

How to be Productive:

1.) Make a list
2.) Cross off the first thing on your list
3.) Reward yourself with a nap

I read this joke in a 1974 p**... magazine today.

An elderly man died and went to purgatory. There he ran into a friend his age, who is accompanied by a luscious young blonde. "I'm happy for you, Steve", said the new arrival. "At least you're getting a partial reward in this place while you expiate your sins."
"She isn't my reward", sighed Steve, "I'm her punishment!"

Son, as a reward for graduating high-school at the top of your class, we've decided to pool or money and send you abroad!

Son: Is she hot?

You know what's most rewarding about working at a children's hospital?

Meeting celebrities

Capital Reward

Stoners get s**... in Saudi Arabia

Those reward cards aren't very good

I got too many points on one and now I'm not allowed to drive

After Ash Ketchum catches them all

in Kanto region, they were really happy for him! So when they wanted to reward him for his mighty success, they decided to build a mall for him. They called it
Ketchum Mall.

As a reward for winning a race, a young stallion was put in a compound with a beautiful female zebra.

As the next day dawned, the keeper ran to see how the stallion had made out and was chagrined to see him leaning up against a tree. His mane was disheveled, his body covered in welts from angry hooves, and he had two giant black eyes. Astounded, the keeper asked what had happened.
The stallion said, "I spent the whole night trying to take off her pajamas."

Man got stuck in a tree..

His cat called the fire department and ended up getting a reward (treat)

I was teaching my dog how to play dead...

and as a reward for doing it, I gave him a chocolate bar. Now he's really good at it!

Grandpas joke: Ellen's church recognition

Ellen was very involved with her church and community projects. So much so, the paster decided to recognize her efforts during Sunday service.
Paster Davis: I'd like to take a moment to recognize Ellen for her hard work and contributions. Ellen come up here and take a bow.
Ellen smiles and bows.
Paster Davis: to reward your efforts, why don't you pick out the next 3 hymns.
Ellen points into the crowd "I'll take him, him, and him"

WANTED: Pervy Director, reward $1,000,000

shoot on site.

A schoolboy rescues President Trump

A schoolboy walking home from school see Donald Trump* drowning in a pond. He dives him and saves him.
The president is very grateful and offers him a gift as a reward.
"All I want is a wheelchair" says the boy.
A wheelchair? Why do you need a wheelchair? the president asks.
Well, the boy explains, when my old man finds out I rescued you from drowning, he's gonna break both my legs.
*(

Scientists use both positive and negative conditioning to teach cats to speak.

In a group of cats, a tutor would reward an individual cat who said "me" with the best food at feeding time. In another experiment, a researcher would apply mild electric shocks to the subject cat until it said "ow".
The lead scientist said they've had some success, however they weren't sure if the cats were using those words in the right context.

3 men walk into a bar. The first one gets n**... and sells his clothes. The second one punches himself with a chair and sues the barman. The third one challenges a service dog to a dance-off for a reward. Who made the biggest profit that night?

Their drug dealer

A class comes in from recess and is given a spelling test.

"Jimmy, what did you do during recess" asks the teacher. "I played in the sandbox with Sally" says Jimmy. "That's great! If you can spell 'sand' on the board, you get a cookie!" Jimmy does and gets his reward.
"Sally, what did you do during recess?" "I played in the sand box with Jimmy!" "Wow! If you can spell 'box' on the board, you get a cookie!" Sally does and gets a cookie.
"Jamal, what did you do during recess?" "I tried to play with Sally and Jimmy but they just threw rocks at me." "Oh my! That sounds like blatant racial discrimination. If you can spell 'blatant racial discrimination' on the board, you get a cookie!"

A little girl was eating her veggies

Suddenly one of the pea pods came to life and began pleading for its life, "No giant! Please spare me and I will take you to my kingdom where my queen(mother) will reward you with much more than my life!"
With nothing better to do, the girl accepts the offer and follows the talking pea to his kingdom. After a short 20 minute journey they arrive to their destination and the girl is left stunned. The size of the kingdom was humongous and complex, much more than she had previously thought it would be. The town was bulging with the life of the pea pod towns folk. The girl was left blown away with her jaw dropping, as she had finally seen her first pea nest.

$90 rewards for anyone who can provide information on the culprits.

It's like looking for a needle in a strawberry.

A little girl is eating her vegetables

Suddenly one of the pea pods came to life and began pleading for its life, "No giant! Please spare me and I will take you to my kingdom where my queen will reward you with much more than my life!"
With nothing better to do, the girl accepts the offer and follows the talking pea to his kingdom. After a short 20 minute journey they arrive to their destination and the girl is left stunned. The size of the kingdom was humongous and complex, much more than she had previously thought it would be. The town was bulging with the life of the pea pod towns folk. The girl was left blown away with her jaw dropping, as she had finally seen her first pea nest.

TIL that if you thank or reward someone for something before they do it, they feel obliged to do it

thanks for the gold, stranger!

Chess is a very progressive game...

Because if the soldier gets to the enemy's territory, his reward is getting to marry the king.

It's so rewarding...

...to tell children at the station that the entry to Hogwart's Rail is just a matter of speed...

My kitten got a reward for having a fat a**...

It was a catastrophe

I figured out how to control the weather.

Whenever the wind does something I want it to do, I reward it.
Whenever it does something I don't want it to do I punish it.
Eventually the wind learns to do what I want it to do.
I call it "air conditioning".

Uber driver came to return woman's lost purse

Woman : Thanks but..it is so weird because I remember it containing only a single 100$ note, but now there are ten 10$ notes inside it. How's that possible?
Man: Yeah because everytime I had gone to return someone's wallet or purse, they said they don't have any change to reward me.

I just won a reward for most secretive person in the office

I can't tell you how much that means to me

The bidding was proceeding furiously when the Head Auctioneer suddenly announced, A gentleman in this room has lost a wallet containing ten thousand dollars.

If returned, he has agreed to pay a reward of two thousand dollars!
There was a moment's silence in the auction house and from the back of the room came a shout, Two thousand five hundred!

Nobody rewarded me :(

I see people in the subreddit of ''GetMotivated'' writting stuff like ''I am a month free from alcohol'' or ''I am 3 months away from gambling'' and they get awards for doing that. Well I wrote there ''I am 3 months away from studying''. Nobody rewarded me. Thank you people of reddit!

Bidding at a local auction.....

Bidding at a local auction was proceeding furiously when the auctioneer suddenly announced, "A gentleman in this room has lost a wallet containing $10,000. If it is returned, he will pay a reward of $2,000."
There was a moment's silence, and then from the back of the room came the cry, "Two thousand five hundred!"

I won a scentific reward today!

I actually made a helpful contribution to humanity! the scientific community has rewarded my work!
I can't wait to display this new "darwin award" I got!

At a university there was a dean who cared about others and showed exemplary behavior. One day an angel appeared at a faculty conference.

The angel said as a reward for his good deeds that God would give him his choice of eternal riches, eternal wisdom, or eternal beauty.
The dean chose eternal wisdom without hesitation.
"Good," said the angel, disappearing into a cloud of smoke.
Everyone present turned their gazes to the dean, who was illuminated by a faint halo.
A colleague whispered, "Tell me something."
The dean, who had gained eternal wisdom, sighed and said, "I should have chosen eternal riches."

Reward joke, At a university there was a dean who cared about others and showed exemplary behavior. One day an an

jokes about reward

Jokes are a form of humor that often involves clever wordplay, puns or unexpected twists in a story. These are usually short narratives or anecdotes crafted with the intent of amusing its audience by ending in an unexpected or humorous punchline. Jokes are a universal form of entertainment that people of all ages like adults, teens, kids and toddlers can enjoy. JokoJokes' FAQ section has answers to questions you may have!

The impact of these reward jokes can be both social and psychological. They can help to ease tensions, create bonds between people, and even improve overall mental health. The success of a joke often relies on the delivery, timing, and audience. Jokes can be used in various settings, from social gatherings to professional presentations, and are often employed to lighten the mood or enhance a story.