The Best 42 Reward Jokes

Following is our collection of funny Reward jokes. There are some reward generous jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud.

Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these reward the reward puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.

Top 10 Funniest Reward Jokes and Puns

Semantics really

I woke up this morning and found a bunch of missing person posters around town that said "Offering reward for any information".

I promptly ran to a phone, called them up and told them my favourite colour was blue.

Wishes

A woman was walking on the beach when she spotted a lamp almost buried in the sand. She picked it up, dusted it off, and to her surprise a genie popped out.

"Thank you for releasing me from my thousand-year imprisonment! I will grant you the traditional three wishes as a reward. And since you are married, your husband will get double of whatever you wish for."

"But I hate my husband," the woman protested. "He cheated on me and spent all our money -- I've already filed for divorce."

The genie shrugged and told her it was genie law. "OK, whatever," she said, "Give me a hundred million dollars." *Poof!* There were stacks and stacks of newly minted $100 bills piled in front of her. "So, does that mean my husband has *two* hundred million now?"

"Yep," the genie said.

"OK... for my second wish, I want a 100,000 square foot mansion." *Poof!* There was a huge mansion right up on the bluff, and the deed was in her pocket. "So, does that mean my husband gets *two* mansions?"

"Yes indeed. Now, what would you like for your final wish?"

She thought about it for a minute, then snapped her fingers and said, "Genie -- scare me half to death!"

An angel appears at a faculty meeting...

... And tells the dean that in return for his unselfish and exemplary behavior, the Lord will reward him with his choice of infinite wealth, wisdom, or beauty. Without hesitating, the dean selects infinite wisdom.
"Done!" says the angel and disappears in a cloud of smoke and a bolt of lightning. Now, all heads turn toward the dean, who sits surrounded by a faint halo of light. At length one of his colleagues whispers, "Say something."
The dean sighs and says, "I should have taken the money."

First Impressions

A young teenage couple have been dating for a little while, so the girl says to the boy that she wants him to meet her parents. He is a little skeptical at this, but she tells him that if he can make a good impression with them that she will reward him with sex.

Extremely excited at the prospect of losing his virginity, the boy rushes to the local pharmacy to get some protection. However, he is a little embarrassed and unsure of himself. The pharmacist at the counter notices this and walks over to see if he can help. "First time?" the pharmacist guesses. The boy nods sheepishly. So the pharmacist gives him the basics on picking condoms. The boy thanks him, buys some, and leaves.

Finally, the big night arrives and the boy arrives at the girl's house. As the couple and the girl's parents sit down for dinner, they all bow their heads to say grace over the meal. Afterwards, they all look up to start eating, except for the boy, who still has his head bowed in prayer. Respectfully, the girl and her parents sit quietly as he continues praying to himself. After about 5 minutes pass, the girl leans over and whispers to him, "I never knew you were so religious!" He looks up at her and whispers back, "I never knew your dad was a pharmacist!"

jokes about reward

How do you reward a chicken journalist?

With a poulette surprise!


The Nigerian Government is now offering a $3m reward for the safe return of the missing girls.

All you need to do is provide your name, address, date of birth, bank details and mother's maiden name.

How does that heaven joke go?

Ages ago, I read this joke about a man dying, and as he ascends the pearly staircase, increasingly attractive women with increasingly large amounts of gold urge him a level higher for some really promising reward. Eventually, he reaches the top, and there's a man who makes Jabba the Hutt look like a sex god, and his name is some kind of sexual pun on the earlier promise.
I just can't for the life of me remember the specifics of the joke. Has anyone else heard it?

Reward joke, How does that heaven joke go?

How do Emo kids reward themselves?

Gold Scars.

I'll see myself out.

How to be Productive:

1.) Make a list

2.) Cross off the first thing on your list

3.) Reward yourself with a nap

I read this joke in a 1974 Playboy magazine today.

An elderly man died and went to purgatory. There he ran into a friend his age, who is accompanied by a luscious young blonde. "I'm happy for you, Steve", said the new arrival. "At least you're getting a partial reward in this place while you expiate your sins."
"She isn't my reward", sighed Steve, "I'm her punishment!"

Son, as a reward for graduating high-school at the top of your class, we've decided to pool or money and send you abroad!

Son: Is she hot?

You can explore reward bonus reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean reward generousity rewarded dad jokes. There are also reward puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.


A good pun is its groan reward!

You know what's most rewarding about working at a children's hospital?

Meeting celebrities

Capital Reward

Stoners get stoned in Saudi Arabia

Those reward cards aren't very good

I got too many points on one and now I'm not allowed to drive

After Ash Ketchum catches them all

in Kanto region, they were really happy for him! So when they wanted to reward him for his mighty success, they decided to build a mall for him. They called it

Ketchum Mall.

Reward joke, After Ash Ketchum catches them all

Why doesn't Russia reward Olympians who win medals?

They already paid for them once

As a reward for winning a race, a young stallion was put in a compound with a beautiful female zebra.

As the next day dawned, the keeper ran to see how the stallion had made out and was chagrined to see him leaning up against a tree. His mane was disheveled, his body covered in welts from angry hooves, and he had two giant black eyes. Astounded, the keeper asked what had happened.

The stallion said, "I spent the whole night trying to take off her pajamas."

Reward: Lost Dog

What kind of a reward is a lost dog?


I was teaching my dog how to play dead...

and as a reward for doing it, I gave him a chocolate bar. Now he's really good at it!

Grandpas joke: Ellen's church recognition

Ellen was very involved with her church and community projects. So much so, the paster decided to recognize her efforts during Sunday service.

Paster Davis: I'd like to take a moment to recognize Ellen for her hard work and contributions. Ellen come up here and take a bow.

Ellen smiles and bows.

Paster Davis: to reward your efforts, why don't you pick out the next 3 hymns.

Ellen points into the crowd "I'll take him, him, and him"

What reward does a light rain get?

A precipitation trophy!

Dead people reward

What do dead people get as a reward?

Atrophy

A schoolboy rescues President Trump

A schoolboy walking home from school see Donald Trump* drowning in a pond. He dives him and saves him.

The president is very grateful and offers him a gift as a reward.

"All I want is a wheelchair" says the boy.

A wheelchair? Why do you need a wheelchair? the president asks.

Well, the boy explains, when my old man finds out I rescued you from drowning, he's gonna break both my legs.

*(

Scientists use both positive and negative conditioning to teach cats to speak.

In a group of cats, a tutor would reward an individual cat who said "me" with the best food at feeding time. In another experiment, a researcher would apply mild electric shocks to the subject cat until it said "ow".

The lead scientist said they've had some success, however they weren't sure if the cats were using those words in the right context.

3 men walk into a bar. The first one gets naked and sells his clothes. The second one punches himself with a chair and sues the barman. The third one challenges a service dog to a dance-off for a reward. Who made the biggest profit that night?

Their drug dealer

Reward joke, 3 men walk into a bar. The first one gets naked and sells his clothes. The second one punches himsel

$90 rewards for anyone who can provide information on the culprits.

It's like looking for a needle in a strawberry.

TIL that if you thank or reward someone for something before they do it, they feel obliged to do it

thanks for the gold, stranger!

How did the shoemaker reward his employees?

With sock options.


Why did the scarecrow receive a reward

He was outstanding in his field

My grandpa was complaining about how participation trophies reward losing

So I asked him why he proudly displayed a Confederate Flag

Chess is a very progressive game...

Because if the soldier gets to the enemy's territory, his reward is getting to marry the king.

It's so rewarding...

...to tell children at the station that the entry to Hogwart's Rail is just a matter of speed...

My kitten got a reward for having a fat ass

It was a catastrophe


I figured out how to control the weather.

Whenever the wind does something I want it to do, I reward it.

Whenever it does something I don't want it to do I punish it.

Eventually the wind learns to do what I want it to do.

I call it "air conditioning".

Uber driver came to return woman's lost purse

Woman : Thanks but..it is so weird because I remember it containing only a single 100$ note, but now there are ten 10$ notes inside it. How's that possible?

Man: Yeah because everytime I had gone to return someone's wallet or purse, they said they don't have any change to reward me.

WANTED: A mysterious man keeps waking me up whenever I'm about to sleep!

25,000 dollar reward for information if it leads to a rest.

I just won a reward for most secretive person in the office

I can't tell you how much that means to me

The bidding was proceeding furiously when the Head Auctioneer suddenly announced, A gentleman in this room has lost a wallet containing ten thousand dollars.

If returned, he has agreed to pay a reward of two thousand dollars!

There was a moment's silence in the auction house and from the back of the room came a shout, Two thousand five hundred!

My dad says we shouldn't reward people with trophies for participation, because it's like a reward for losing.

So I took his Vietnam Veteran hat

Nobody rewarded me :(

I see people in the subreddit of ''GetMotivated'' writting stuff like ''I am a month free from alcohol'' or ''I am 3 months away from gambling'' and they get awards for doing that. Well I wrote there ''I am 3 months away from studying''. Nobody rewarded me. Thank you people of reddit!

Bidding at a local auction.....

Bidding at a local auction was proceeding furiously when the auctioneer suddenly announced, "A gentleman in this room has lost a wallet containing $10,000. If it is returned, he will pay a reward of $2,000."

There was a moment's silence, and then from the back of the room came the cry, "Two thousand five hundred!"

Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the reward bonuses jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become inappropriate.

We suggest to use only working reward kingdom piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.

Joko Jokes