Revive Jokes
23 revive jokes and hilarious revive puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about revive that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
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Funniest Revive Short Jokes
Short revive jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The revive humour may include short resurrected jokes also.
- How do you revive a homeless American from a heart attack? You threaten to call an ambulance.
- What's the difference between a religious revival and a bikers rally? At a religious revival, they say "STAND UP FOR JESUS"
At a bikers rally, they say "SIT DOWN FOR CHRIST'S SAKE" - I wonder if Christmas is Mariah Carey's favorite holiday... Because it revives her career.
- So you guys know that one part in Matrix Reloaded when Neo revives Trinity? That was a pretty handy life hack
- I'm looking foward the day we can use technology to revive people! So Epstein will pay his debt to the society.
- Yo momma's breath is so bad... She can just whisper the word "hi" and revive a room full of coma patients.
- Chuck Norris once took a CPR class, this way he can kill you, revive you, and kill you again.
- My new neighbour has a neck f**.... Moreover, he revives dead bodies just to fulfil his desires.
He is a necromancer.
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Revive One Liners
Which revive one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with revive? I can suggest the ones about rescue and survive.
- What do you call a man who revives black people from the dead? A Negromancer
- How do you revive a sheep? You give it sheep-p-r.
- Jesus must have had really bad internet his revival lagged for 3 days
- How do Communists revive people? By using CCCPR!
- And god said come forth and revive eternal life ... But he came fifth and won a blender
- Why didn't anyone revive the dying pirate? He had a DN*Ahrrr!* order.
- Fidel Castro's last words Fidel Castro's final words were: "revive me I have the ray gun"
- What do you call a Religious Revival in California? A God Rush
- A modern Rugrats revival would consist of... Tommy figuring out how to use a IPAD
- Why did Microsoft skip from Windows 8 to Windows 10? They revived to much XP 👌
- How to revive a bartender? Bring a horse to his f**....
Comical & Quirky Revive Jokes for a Roaring Good Time
What funny jokes about revive you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean energize jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make revive pranks.
Rita found her husband hanging in his bedroom one morning with a note on his bed reading I can't take the critism anymore.
She quickly cut the rope, brought him down and managed to revive him.
As her husband lay in her arms and slowly opened his eyes, she said emotionally my dear…that's NOT how you spell criticism!
The vaccine conspiracy
Linda had a heart attack and was brought to the emergency room while in clinical death. The doctors managed to revive her, but during her coma she saw a bright light and God appeared to her. She asked him:
"Tell me, God, is it true that vaccines could cause autism?"
"No, autism is a condition that develops during pregnancy"
After getting well, she met her friends and told them about her experience:
"Girls, I have awful news: the conspiracy goes way higher than we've thought"
A wife found that her husband had hung himself after she came home one day
She found a note on the bedside table which read, "I'm sorry but I can't take your constant critism anymore."
She then quickly cut the rope, brought him down and somehow managed to revive him.
As her husband lay in her arms and slowly became conscious again, she remarked:
"That's NOT how you spell criticism my dear!"
